A real quickie, really in the same vein as Public Displays of Affection, with happy Enterprise crew. It was written for a prompt on LJ:

"It's a gift that just keeps giving!

KIRK/SPOCK mid- or post pon farr with Kirk so fucked-out he can't really perform his duties as captain. He keeps falling asleep during his shift, too sore to sit, etc. Worst thing is he's sort of obvious about it and everyone knows exactly what's going on.

Bonus for smug/unrepentant Spock :D"

Just thought I'd post it while I write the fourth chapter of Gravity. Nearly done and hoping to have it up by tomorrow!

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"Captain," a voice filtered in on the edge of his consciousness, "Captain?"

"Huh?" he blurted, snapping upright. The bridge came into focus, every person on duty looking at him curiously. Sulu leant back from where he had been three inches from Jim's nose.

"Are you alright, sir?" he asked, and Jim scratched his head, trying to figure out what was happening.

And then Spock walked into his peripheral vision and it all came flooding back. He was tired and he was sore, and it was all his first officer's fault. When Spock had first mentioned Pon Farr a week ago, he had been excited. More than excited. Spock had been embarrassed to talk about it at first - which of course had meant that it was going to be good. And when he had finally admitted that it basically meant a few days of mind-blowing sex because Spock couldn't control himself, Jim had almost jumped up and down in excitement. Not to say that sex with Spock wasn't good, because it most certainly was, but they just didn't have it as often as Jim would have liked.

It had been great, while they were having it. Jim had been totally prepared – he told McCoy vaguely what was going on, ("Bones, I have to take some time off. Spock and I have to do one of those crazy Vulcan rituals for a couple of days." At his protests, he had replied, "If we don't, he'll die, and you're going to have to write up the medical report as to why that happened."), and had more or less gotten permission from the CMO to have that 'vacation'.

The next thing to do was to get someone to take over for him. Scotty fit the bill, he was smart, reliable and would be good enough at it to keep the ship running during transit – thankfully they weren't on a mission right now -, but not good enough to make him look bad. ("Scotty," he had said later, "You're the second officer, right?" The Scot had replied in the affirmative, looking confused. Jim had continued, "You're in charge for a couple of days." When Scotty started questioning it, he had told him to shut up and had left it at that.)

He had gathered the supplies he needed to survive in his quarters for the next few days -- lube, food, water....more lube -- and when Spock had come to him on the anticipated night, trembling with lust and on the verge of losing control, he had been prepared. And god it had been good, hot and passionate and beyond anything he had felt before. But eventually they had had to emerge from the Captain's quarters. And for lack of a better word – it sucked.

His Captain's chair was comfy, but he wasn't really too happy about sitting down at all. He was quite sore...back there. And he was tired. You don't exactly sleep much when having a marathon love-making-session. So, working a Captain's shift – it sucked. "Get back to work!" he barked at his staff, who were all still looking at him, now with varying expressions of confusion, amusement and smugness.

Spock was the very picture of smug, although he probably appeared pretty blank to everyone else, "Captain, would you like for me to take over so that you can go to see Dr. McCoy?"

Jim glared at him, "No thank you Mr. Spock."

"Can I do anything for you?"

"I think you've done enough to me, Mr. Spock," said Jim, wondering whether to be amused or to be annoyed at his first officer, who was being completely unapologetic and in fact seemed to be taking a certain pleasure in his discomfort.

"I think that that can be disputed," said Spock, a sly glint in his eye that Jim doubted anyone else would notice. He spun in his chair to face the science officer, leaning forward to address him better. From this angle, he could see Uhura in the background. She was working, but she looked like she might laugh at any second, mouth twisted in amusement. "What are you getting at?" asked Jim, glaring at him dangerously.

Spock tilted his head ever so slightly, "I was just commenting that the statement that I have 'done enough to you', could be disputed. If it were the case, I would expect for you to cease asking for more."

Captain Kirk made a funny noise in his throat that bore a resemblance to the sound of someone strangling a cat. Half the bridge snickered, the other half pretended to keep working while secretly laughing in their heads. Jim knew this must be the case, because why else would they look so intent when they weren't actually doing anything? He looked at Sulu and Chekov, sitting in front of him, smirking in the case of the former, and wide-eyed in the case of the latter. "I order you to get back to work, you lazy officers. You're not being paid to stare at me."

"I'll get to work watching the bridge, if you want Captain," said Sulu, obviously on the verge of bursting out in laughter, "You and First Officer Spock can go and 'rest'. In your quarters, Captain, since it's closer."

Jim shifted awkwardly in his chair, feeling sore and cranky. And apparently everyone knew what was going on, which really wouldn't have bothered him if it had been a little more ambiguous as to who had fucked whom and for how long. "You know what, Mr. Sulu? I will take you up on that. Here," he stood and gestured to the chair, "take my comfy seat. I am going to go to bed. And you are going to run training drills for the remainder of the shift. I want you to run every drill in numerical order until the shift ends. Should you somehow manage to get through them all in that time, you will repeat whichever one had the lowest scores. Have fun!"

Ignoring the groans from the crew, he smiled and gave them all a jaunty wave (which may as well have been a middle finger – it would certainly have matched the meaning the gesture held) and stepped into the lift. "Mr. Spock," he added before he pushed the button for deck five, "Report to my quarters at the end of your shift. I believe some payback is in order."

"Yes sir," said Spock, looking pleased. Well...looking pleased in that way that meant that he really had no expression on his face at all. That sort of pleased.