Joy in Another's Loss of Ease
"Nellie..."
She hated nights like these. They always ended tragically, with her one step closer to insanity. She had tried ignoring him, but it seemed the more she did so the more he came back.
"Eleanor, please..."
Benjamin Barker's clear, kind voice cut through the suffocating silence pressing down on Mrs. Lovett's chest, and she squeezed her eyes closed, pressing her hands on her ears as she sank down in the parlor, her back against the dark green wallpaper.
"I need you..."
This wasn't real. None of this was real, and it never would be. Benjamin Barker did not love her. He would never love her. Mrs. Lovett whimpered, taking a shaky breath as she fought the rising hysteria in her throat.
"Nell, please talk to me..."
None of this is real. She knows this. Her mind hasn't stopped playing tricks on her since he left. Since he was snatched away from her, sent on some vile ship to Australia. Every glance, every step he was with her. She saw him in the shadows, heard his footsteps above her shop, caught his whispers in the silence. Mrs. Lovett sat there, hunched over, her head in her arms. She couldn't live like this. Waiting for him to return, hating herself for wishing she were Lucy, for wishing she could kill her like she'd killed her husband. Wishing it was she Benjamin Barker dreamed about in Australia, her child that he had left behind. And it was impossible. He would never love her - not now.
A/N: Hey guys! So I've decided to create a collection of connected one-shots from Mrs. Lovett's view that go throughout her history. They're in no particular order, meant to be like snapshots into her past. Please review and let me know what you honestly think! Oh, and the fic title and chapter titles are taken from various historic love poems.