"Bellatrix, will you stop fidgeting?" Druella snapped. "And take that scowl off your face – this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life!"
"Sorry," Bellatrix muttered, knowing that it could in fact contend for one of the worst days of her life, and sat up straight, allowing her mother to continue assaulting her with hairpins in a fruitless attempt to get her wild curls to behave themselves and stay up. The scowl remained, however, and as always Bellatrix ignored her mother's disapproving glare.
"There," Druella said finally, retreating from the dressing table and admiring her handiwork from a distance. "I think that is as good as we'll get it." Bellatrix said nothing. "Well, what do you think, then?" Druella demanded impatiently. "Come and look at yourself," she instructed, beckoning Bellatrix towards the full-length mirror in the corner.
She wasn't going to lie to herself. She did look beautiful.
At first, Bellatrix had been annoyed that she had to wear her mother's wedding dress – it was a family tradition, apparently – but she had to admit that it looked amazing on her. Possibly even better than it had on Druella herself. It was white, traditional, of course, but with a wonderfully subtle gothic feel to it. It had swirly patterns on the bodice and a yellowish hue from its age, which Bellatrix adored. It complimented Bellatrix's raven curls, which had been tamed for the occasion. The hairpins were adorned with tiny white roses.
"It's… lovely, Mother," she said, attempting a weak smile.
Druella was not convinced. "What on Earth is wrong with you today, Bellatrix?" she demanded crossly. "You've been waiting for this day since you were just a little girl. You should be ecstatic."
"It's nothing," Bellatrix said quickly. "Just… nervous, I suppose."
"I've never known for you to be nervous of anything," Druella said suspiciously, but she didn't press the matter.
Good job, too, because Bellatrix could hardly tell her mother that the reason why she was so withdrawn was because she knew that there would only be one man on her mind that day. And that man would not be her husband.
Just then, Narcissa entered the bedroom. She gasped when she saw Bellatrix.
"Bella, oh my goodness, you look gorgeous!" she squealed, throwing her arms around her sister.
Bellatrix patted her little sister on the back warily, as Druella screeched, "Careful of the dress!" Narcissa withdrew hastily.
"So are you ready for married life?" Cissy asked enthusiastically. "I'll miss you, you know," she continued, without waiting for an answer. "Oh – the Dark Lord is here to see you, by the way," she said casually.
Bellatrix's jaw dropped. "The – the Dark Lord?" she repeated incredulously, pushing Narcissa out of the way so that she could return to the mirror, smoothing her dress hastily.
"The Dark Lord!" Druella shrieked. "In our house! What on Earth does he want? He should have warned… I could have got things cleaned up a bit… I…"
"Never mind that now!" exclaimed Bellatrix, as she hurriedly readjusted a pin in her hair. "Where is he?"
"Waiting in the drawing room," said Cissy, looking confused at all the fuss.
"You left him there on his own?" Druella scolded. "That is the height of bad manners, Narcissa Black! You will clearly be needing some more training before you can get married, young lady!"
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "I know that," she said exasperatedly. "But he said he wanted to talk to Bella in private, and that he can't stay for long so I should get her instead of wasting time waiting for a house-elf."
Druella still didn't look entirely happy, but didn't say anything else. "Well in that case… hurry up, Bellatrix! Do NOT keep him waiting. Your hair was fine before you started poking at it!" Druella reprimanded. Bellatrix made a face at her behind her back, and Cissy laughed.
"Of course I won't keep him waiting, Mother," said Bellatrix coldly. "I'll meet you downstairs when he's finished."
"I hope he doesn't take long," said Druella worriedly, checking her watch. "The Lestranges won't be happy if we're late… but he is the Dark Lord, after all. I'm sure a wedding seems insignificant compared to all the things he has on his mind."
The wedding seemed insignificant to Bellatrix, too, although she would never have dared to tell her mother that.
As she made her way down the two flights of stairs to the drawing room, she wondered what the Dark Lord could possibly want of her. She had served him faithfully for a few months now, and yet she had still not really got the impression that she stood out from the crowd.
But she wanted him to notice her, so badly. She wanted him to show favouritism towards her. She had a burning desire to show everyone that being a woman didn't make her worthless, despite what her father and people like him may have brainwashed their children into thinking. She was as good as any of the other Death Eaters.
That was not the only reason she wanted him to notice her. It was insane, but she just couldn't stop thinking about him.
There was something about him that just radiated power. Power was something Bellatrix had always been attracted to, because she envied it. And she fantasised about being able to share that power, being seen as his most loyal servant, his equal, or as close as anyone could get to being that.
But nobody could be equal to him. And she wouldn't even admit it to herself, but Bellatrix liked that it was like he owned her. His face still had some hints of his former beauty, but it had matured; there was something inhuman, unearthly, about his features. And that made him so forbidden, so unreachable, so… enticing.
"Ah, Bella," Voldemort said smoothly, as Bellatrix entered the room. "Sit." For some reason, it wasn't strange at all that he was asking Bellatrix to sit down in her own house. She gathered her skirt together and perched on the end of a straight-backed wooden chair; she couldn't afford to relax in her master's presence.
"As I cannot make the ceremony later, I decided to call and congratulate you on your marriage," he informed her. "You look exquisite, Bella."
Her heart temporarily stopped beating; he hadn't only noticed her. He had actually paid her a compliment. "Th- thank you, my Lord," said Bellatrix breathlessly.
He dismissed her thanks with a careless wave of his hand. "It pleases me that you are marrying a respectable pure-blood like Rodolphus. And handsome, too," he commented thoughtfully. "You will certainly have some attractive children."
Bellatrix struggled to hide her disgust. If anyone else dared to say something like that to her… but she managed to control herself. It was another (twisted) compliment, really. Instead, she just said, "I don't think there will be any danger of that."
"Oh?" Voldemort enquired, raising his eyebrows.
"The idea of having children has never really appealed to me," she told him, shrugging. "Too much unnecessary pain, hassle and noise."
He seemed amused. "And what do your mother and fiancé think of this?" he asked, smirking.
"I see no need to discuss it with them," she said, crossing her arms defensively.
There was a pause. "Well I know you have always been your own person, so to speak, Bella, but surely you would be... bringing shame on your family," Voldemort said carefully.
It was clearly a test. Bellatrix considered how to react as she felt his eyes travel over her body.
"All that matters to me is my ability to serve you, my Lord," she declared finally.
He nodded, satisfied. "As it should be," he said. "I will admit that I was curious, Bella." So the conversation had been planned. "I have never had to consider the possibility of one of my most promising recruits–" Bellatrix's heart thumped with pride "- leaving the cause to have a baby, of all things. Leaving my side usually means death, as you very well know. I did not want to make allowances. I am glad that I will not need to."
"Thank you, my Lord," Bellatrix said warmly.
Voldemort surveyed his protégée with pride. "But are you not nervous of upsetting Rodolphus?" he asked, merely curious now.
"It is of no importance to me," Bellatrix shrugged. It was true; she couldn't care less about what Rodolphus felt. She was the one being forced to marry him, not the other way round. "I do not love Rodolphus. Nor will I ever."
Voldemort looked puzzled. "Why marry him, then?" he asked. "There are plenty of other men out there who would die for such a beautiful –" why so many compliments? "- woman to call his own. And you said you do not care what your family thinks." He eyed her challengingly.
"I… have to appease them somehow," she told him, giving in. "But believe me when I say," she said slowly, "that there is only one… man –" man didn't seem worthy as a description "- that I have ever… loved."
Voldemort rose from his seat, and paced, circling her chair like a predator, almost daring her to say it. "And who might that be, Bellatrix?" he said, so quietly it was almost a hiss.
Her mouth went dry; her knees went weak. He was looking at her, really looking at her, his eyes boring into her soul. She couldn't go into a life with Rodolphus without admitting it.
She was positive that he knew the answer, but she said it anyway.
"You, my Lord."
And she didn't know how it happened, but suddenly she was on her feet and her lips had crashed onto his; she had dreamed of this moment, so many times, but never like this – she had never even imagined that it would feel this good. She had made the move, she was in charge, and she poured out all of her despair and desperation into that one moment; and she was touching him, really touching his surprisingly toned arms and chest, and they were the only people in the world…
And then a sudden force launched Bellatrix backwards and she was thrown against the wall.
Voldemort, who had remained stationary throughout the encounter and seemed completely unaffected by it, looked at her pitifully.
"You should know better than to touch the Dark Lord with your unworthy hands, Bellatrix -"
"My Lord, I –" Bellatrix began in shock.
"Enough," he interjected. He resumed speaking. "It is of no consequence to me whether or not you marry Rodolphus," he said curtly. "Do as your family wishes. The Dark Lord does not feel such mortal emotions as love." Bellatrix hung her head in shame, not daring to respond, tears threatening to overcome her. "But you are a very attractive woman, Bellatrix, and I must admit that this was… pleasing. I am sure," and Bellatrix felt his eyes linger on her curves as he said this, "that we could come to some kind of… arrangement." His lip curled over the last word, and he swept from the room.
"My Lord, what do you –" cried Bellatrix, but by the time she reached the hall, he had gone.
She hardly dared to breathe.
After re-doing her hair and make-up and repairing a rip in the dress (wedding dresses were very impractical for these sorts of things) so as not to arouse suspicion (and if this "arrangement" was what she thought it would be, she would soon become well-practised at this), Bellatrix made her way downstairs to where her parents and sister were waiting impatiently.
"Bella, I still can't get over how beautiful you look!" Cissy said warmly, and Bellatrix numbly gave her sister a hug and a genuine smile.
"What did the Dark Lord want?" her father demanded; even though it was the first time he had seen Bellatrix in her dress, he cut straight to the chase. It was not like Cygnus to throw around compliments.
"Oh… nothing," Bellatrix said, still looking slightly dazed. "Just to congratulate me."
"You've perked up a bit," Druella noted. "What did he say to you?"
"Not much… just that he thought Rodolphus is a good match," she said smoothly.
Cygnus nodded his approval. "It always does well to be in the Dark Lord's good books." Which I certainly will be soon, Bellatrix thought to herself proudly.
He may not have been entirely happy with the impulsiveness of her actions, but she was sure that this "arrangement", or whatever he called it, would be on his terms. It would definitely please him. It would please her, too... she kept replaying the moment in her head, and shuddered from pleasure at the memory.
Maybe this would be the happiest day of her life.
A/N: For the Bellamort Fic Competition and the Ultimate Bellatrix Comp, both on HPFC. As always, I own nothing.
Thank you to my awesome beta, kci47!
And I thought I'd give a special mention to Charlotte (xx-His-Most-Loyal-Servant-xx) because she's just generally amazing and because she made me write the kiss - I was going to chicken out ;)