"Why did you do it, Itachi-kun?" I'm surprised by the gentleness in my own voice as I speak to him. We're standing by the riverbank where we used to always meet when we were children.
"I wish I could tell you, but I can't," he responds, onyx eyes downcast.
"Why not?" I demand. "We're friends, right?!"
"Even after everything I've done, you still call me a friend?" I could have sworn I heard his voice crack on the word "friend." Before I can even think about what I'm doing, my hand reaches out for his, entwining our fingers.
"Itachi-kun, before you came along, I felt so lost and empty. You showed me what it was like to have a friend. For that, you meant more to me than you will ever know. Those sort of feelings don't just go away," I confess. "Now stop avoiding the question. Why can't you tell me?"
"You should know, there's certain things you just can't tell anyone, no matter how much you love them."
"But-" I begin to protest as his words sink in. "Wait, what did you just say?" I ask in disbelief.
He runs his fingers through my hair, sending chills up my spine. "I love you, Haruna."
I'm too shocked to think of anything to say in response. Instead, I just stand there frozen as he gently presses his lips against mine.
"GOD DAMN IT!"
It's nights like these that I'm glad I live alone so there's no one around to hear my scream of frustration. Of course it was a fucking dream. Part of me wishes I could have stayed asleep, wrapped in the warm illusion of the kind, gentle boy I thought I knew. Part of me wants to slap myself for even considering that. The bastard's been gone for three years now and yet he's still messing with my head. With a sigh, I hop out of bed, knowing I won't be able to fall back asleep in this state of mind.
After getting dressed, I head to my usual training spot. I know that if I don't take my anger out on the targets, I'll end up taking it out on myself. I strike my target over and over again with all my strength, and when I feel tears welling in my eyes, I blink them back and strike even harder. Eventually, all thoughts of Itachi are gone from my mind, my only focus is the target in front of me. I don't know how long I spent at the training ground, but after a while I can see the sun rising through the trees.
"Haruna? What are you doing up so early?" I turn around to my best friend, Riku.
"I could ask you the same thing," I say.
"I've been up all night."
"Of course," I roll my eyes. "Must be nice to be an unemployed bum."
"Sure is," he grins. "But I just couldn't sleep knowing today is such a big day for my little sister," he explained.
"That's right, she's due to graduate the academy today, right?"
"Yup. She probably would have years ago if she didn't slack off and ditch class so much."
"Well, she wouldn't be your sister if she was disciplined and well behaved, now would she?"
"Ha! Guess not."
"So why are you worried?" I ask. "She's highly skilled in ninjutsu compared to others her age, surely she'll pass," I assure him.
"Yeah, but you know as well as I do, Hikari's been weak and sickly since birth. Does she really have what it takes to be a ninja? If something were to happen to her, I-"
"Quit worrying," I cut him off. "This is the path Hikari chose, so now all you can do is support her."
"You're as blunt as ever, but I guess you're right. I just hope she gets a good sensei, one who helps her develop her strengths and overcome her weaknesses."
"Of course she will. The jonin chosen to be sensei are the best of the best."
"Heh. You might even be a sensei one day, Haruna."
"Me, in charge of the future of the Leaf? Now that's a scary thought." We both laugh.
"You should get to bed, Haruna. After all, you have a job."
"I suppose you're right, I could be assigned a mission at any time. Plus, I need to be at the academy today, since Neji's graduating too."
"That's right. Well, I'll see you then."
Once I reached my house, my exhaustion finally caught up to me and I fell asleep almost immediately. I awoke several hours later and panicked when I realized I was almost late for my cousin's graduation. I quickly got dressed and brushed my teeth and short brown hair before heading out.
"Neji-kun!" As soon as I spotted my younger cousin, I ran toward him and wrapped him in a hug before he could move away. He didn't hug me back. He never does. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, but I'll never stop loving him, even if he hates me. "I'm so proud of you!" I smile and pat his head.
"Please stop, Haruna-sama, you're embarrassing me," he says flatly.
"It's my job to embarrass you," I ruffle his hair. "And how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"
He simply sighs, and I try to think of a way to keep the conversation going. The older we both get, the more short-lived our conversations become.
"Hey, Haruna," Riku greets, saving me from the awkward silence. I turn to see him standing next to Hikari, who wears the leaf forehead protector around her neck.
"I told you she'd pass," I smile at Hikari. She apprehensively returns the smile before casting her steely gray eyes downward. She reminds me so much of my own younger sister, Hinata, sometimes.
"I never doubted that she'd pass!" Riku declares. "I just worry about her, she is my precious little sister, after all." He places a hand on the tiny girl's head. "Anyway, we're gonna go do what we of the Katawa clan do best; party! You should come, Haruna, you can bring Neji-kun too."
"I'm not sure Neji's ready to experience a Katawa party..." Honestly, what is Riku thinking? Like I'd let my twelve year-old cousin be exposed to drugs and alcohol. Hikari might already know everything about those things, but that's just the way she was brought up. It's sad when you think about it, but her fate still could have been worse.
"Oh come on, it'll be fun. He and Hikari can get to know each other better," Riku nudges his sister, who blushes bright red.
"Haruna!" This time, it's one of my colleagues calling out to me. "You're wanted in the Hokage's office," he tells me.
I sigh. "Well, guess I have to go."
"Another mission?" Riku asks.
"Probably. I'll see you when I see you," I tell him and Hikari before giving Neji one last hug. "Congrats again, Neji-kun, I know you'll be a great ninja."
"I'm assigning you an S-rank mission," the hokage told me.
"Heh. Been a while since I had one of those." I grin. "Should I prepare to leave immediately?"
"You won't be leaving the village for this mission, at least not yet. I'm assigning you to lead a squad of genin."
I stare at the hokage in disbelief. "Huh? Why me? I've only been a jonin for three years, surely there's someone more qualified," I protest.
"You have the potential to be a great leader, Haruna, it's time you realized it. Besides, I think these children in particular would benefit from having someone young they can relate to as their sensei. They're what you might call 'deliquents,' they don't take well to authority." Great. How am I supposed to relate to a bunch of genin brats? "But if anyone can earn their respect and trust, I'm confident that it's you. It might help that you know one of them personally." I eye the Hokage curiously. "Hikari Katawa," he clarifies.
"I see. So, who are the other two?" I ask.
"Jun'Ichi Takahara and Ryo."
"Just Ryo?" I ask, confused.
"Yes. Ryo is no ordinary boy, he's an experiment created by Orochimaru. Considering him to be a failure, he abandoned him here in the Leaf village. His full powers are unknown, you'll need to take extreme caution with him. So, are you up to the challenge, Haruna?"
"Well, I've never turned down a mission before. If nothing else, I'll do it for Hikari, so her brother doesn't have to worry. You don't have to worry either, I'll whip those deliquents into shape, Lord Hokage!" I declare confidently.
"I'm glad to hear that, but please don't actually whip them." We both laugh. "Now, you'll need to give them a test to determine if they're really ready to be genin or if they should go back to the academy. I'll leave that part up to you. You'll meet them tomorrow at the academy for orientation. That's all I have to tell you, you're free to go now."
"I won't let you down, Lord Hokage!" I bow before exiting.