Fallaway
I turn the music up on my CD player, sometimes I wish I could bring this commodity where ever I go, but that's not the case, wile at home I can shut out the world with music, but as school electronics don't even function. Yep, that's my life, one world vs. another. I don't think I could live in either, and I most certainly can't live in both. The thing is no one around me seems to have this problem, Ron is well, a wizard, so he's a no brainer on this issue. It's all fine for Harry because he doesn't have a family to care about (no offense). All these years I study so hard, and want to fit in so much that I could burst, and still I feel shunned. Harry is more accepted than I am, even though he is much more ignorant of the wizarding world. Sometimes I think it's just because of my parents, of my family, of my family that acts less and less like a family and more and more like strangers.
I know, I sound pathetic, but listen to the voice inside your head that says your deepest desirers and keeps your secrets safe, doesn't it sound pathetic? Yes, of course it does. In the world of things we're all pathetic nobodies who really need just a little attention.
Ok, so I'm a little obsessed with house elves, but let me explain, I see them and they remind me of myself. I'm not that pretty (though some may have you think that), and I sometimes I feel all little and ugly and unwanted (don't we all). I see the house elves and feel like I have to do some thing, because in everything else I do nothing, I feel like I need to have control of some aspect of my life, if it's not enough to keep track of school work, I'm worried about Harry all the time, he could be in trouble and I wouldn't even know. He might not even tell me. Some times he is as easy to read as a book. Other days I don't know what is going on inside his head. Some times Harry is so aloof that I'm not sure if he's even really the same Harry as yesterday. I know he keeps secrets from me, and from Ron. He always tries to be there for every one, to make sure they're all ok, he cares about others even more than himself. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, and so he keeps his secrets, and hurts himself. But there's also different side to Harry, a darker side. Every once and a wile I get this odd feeling from him, especial when he's making hard decisions.
But why am I saying this... all I really want to think about is that incident last year. That run in with You Know Who that almost cost another his life. Truth to be told I'm frightened, not about hurt or pain, but about a different feeling that was excited, and strange who it was drawn out by, but no, I won't think about it. And yet... I feel I must.
* * *
The dawn slowly opened it's self.
I turn the music up on my CD player, sometimes I wish I could bring this commodity where ever I go, but that's not the case, wile at home I can shut out the world with music, but as school electronics don't even function. Yep, that's my life, one world vs. another. I don't think I could live in either, and I most certainly can't live in both. The thing is no one around me seems to have this problem, Ron is well, a wizard, so he's a no brainer on this issue. It's all fine for Harry because he doesn't have a family to care about (no offense). All these years I study so hard, and want to fit in so much that I could burst, and still I feel shunned. Harry is more accepted than I am, even though he is much more ignorant of the wizarding world. Sometimes I think it's just because of my parents, of my family, of my family that acts less and less like a family and more and more like strangers.
I know, I sound pathetic, but listen to the voice inside your head that says your deepest desirers and keeps your secrets safe, doesn't it sound pathetic? Yes, of course it does. In the world of things we're all pathetic nobodies who really need just a little attention.
Ok, so I'm a little obsessed with house elves, but let me explain, I see them and they remind me of myself. I'm not that pretty (though some may have you think that), and I sometimes I feel all little and ugly and unwanted (don't we all). I see the house elves and feel like I have to do some thing, because in everything else I do nothing, I feel like I need to have control of some aspect of my life, if it's not enough to keep track of school work, I'm worried about Harry all the time, he could be in trouble and I wouldn't even know. He might not even tell me. Some times he is as easy to read as a book. Other days I don't know what is going on inside his head. Some times Harry is so aloof that I'm not sure if he's even really the same Harry as yesterday. I know he keeps secrets from me, and from Ron. He always tries to be there for every one, to make sure they're all ok, he cares about others even more than himself. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, and so he keeps his secrets, and hurts himself. But there's also different side to Harry, a darker side. Every once and a wile I get this odd feeling from him, especial when he's making hard decisions.
But why am I saying this... all I really want to think about is that incident last year. That run in with You Know Who that almost cost another his life. Truth to be told I'm frightened, not about hurt or pain, but about a different feeling that was excited, and strange who it was drawn out by, but no, I won't think about it. And yet... I feel I must.
* * *
The dawn slowly opened it's self.