Sirius grinned, whispering hushed plans with James, a piece of paper and a quill under them,
"Yeah-yeah, then we can-"
"-God he won't know what hit him…"
Sirius peaked up for a moment, looking for Remus; that prefect always seemed to be disapproving of their brilliant plans.
After deeming it safe, he returned to their plans. Of course, it was something meant to humiliate Severus, that little greasy git.
"And after we do that—"
"—Yeah, yeah! The dung bombs—"
"—Don't forget the fire whiskey—"
"—This is bloody brilliant!"
"Fire whisky and dungbombs?" Remus asked, not bothering no look up from his textbook (yes, he was reading a Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook for fun).
"What are you two doing?"
They both jumped, heads knocking together, then pained groans leaving their lips. "Ow. Bloody hell," Sirius grumbled, looking over to Remus.
"How the hell does he just appear outta' thin air?" he questioned, rubbing his forehead.
James shrugged, adjusting his glasses.
"I have been here the entire time," he sighed, rolling his eyes.
Indeed, they were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, the two trouble makers hunched over the low table by the fire, the other boy sitting in a nearby armchair.
He'd been so quiet however; it was no surprise that they'd overlooked him.
"Maybe you ought to try plotting around people who can't get you a detention."
"He won't know who did it!" He protested, leaning back with a frown, arms crossed over his chest. He was dressed in the usual Hogwarts outfit, white button up shirt, a pair of slacks- though his robes were strewn on the back of his chair and his tie was wrapped around the top of his head, like an American Muggle band he was fond of; "Aerosmith."
Remus was dressed perfectly, of course, his clothes crisp and tie straightened.
"That isn't the point and you know it," he scolded, "And what is it you two intend to do anyway?"
"..." The two marauders glanced back and forth, then over to Remus. "Nothing," They replied quickly, shaking their heads.
With a sigh, he folded up his book. "How dumb do you think I am?"
"Well..." Sirius murmured, leaning back in his seat, black hair sweeping over his dark eyes. "On account of you helping us with all our homework, I'd say: not very."
"Then tell me what you're-" he paused, raising an eyebrow for effect, "plotting."
Sirius gave a quick wave of his hand. "Nothing at all, Moony."
James nodded his head quickly, backing the other up.
Remus stared at them for a long time. Then, finally, he shook his head with disgust and went back to his book.
Sirius grinned over to him. "Ah, don't be that way." He moved back to James, starting to work again.
His friend sighed. "Your maturity level must be off the charts," he said, glancing at the tie around Sirius's head.
"We're extremely mature," Sirius murmured in reply, tugging the slipping tie tighter, jotting down several things with a quill.
Remus shook his head again, groaning. "Idiots..." he mumbled.
Sirius laughed lightly, leaning back in his chair, obviously satisfied with his plans. "You need to relax, Remus. Live a little. It's no fun with your nose all shoved in your book."
"Says you," he countered, "A bit of reading would do you good." He looked over his friends, "You, too, James."
His grin turned into a beam. "We read plenty!" He exclaimed, James nodding his head in agreement. "How do you think we're able to learn what chemicals to mix together in order to turn someone blue~?"
"Blue?" the wereboy asked, looking up with some panic. "What potion are you making?"
"Oh~" He laughed at the bit of information that came out. "Nooothing~"
Remus shut his book with a snap, getting up and closing the space in two quick strides. "Give me that," he demanded as they snatched up their papers. Sirius was up in seconds, trying to snatch it back. "Nooo! Give it back!" He exclaimed, attempting to get it out of his hands.
"No," he said calmly, holding the young man back with one hand while he held up the parchment with the other.
The parchment held a detailed plan of color changing, loss of bowel function, truth serum and just about every other horrible thing that could happen to someone.
And one name was written on the bottom, the person who all this was going to be used on.
SNIVVELUS
Though he meant to reprimand them- he really, really, REALLY meant to- Remus couldn't help it. He was still a teenage boy after all. He smirked and chuckled, trying (and failing) to cover it up with a cough.
Sirius grinned, snatching back the plans when he wasn't looking. "I heard that laugh! I knew there was a true Marauder somewhere in there~" He poked Remus' chest.
"Oh, shove off," he groaned, looking at the floor.
Sirius grinned. "This 'club' was made in 1971, trust me, Remus. You would not be part of it, if we didn't think you had something~"
James grinned, stepping up besides Sirius. "And you definitely have something!"
The nerd raised a brow. "I thought I was in so that you could-" he glanced at James, the person he was quoting, "-'get the law on your side'?"
"Ah, well," He gave the other a pat on the back, "That too." He grinned, glancing over to James, who shrugged his shoulders up for a moment.
"Plus, we were all first years, it was just a hunch you were going to be a prefect and all."
"I don't blame you," he told them, smiling a bit, "I do fit the type."
"Your nose was stuffed into a book when we first met you." Sirius murmured, running his fingers through his hair, which fell to his shoulders. "I thought you were smelling it or something..."
He blushed a bit. "I- Old paper binding has a certain… the glue..."
"Don't tell me you..." he blinked, then snorted in laughter, "Oh god, you were smelling it! That's bloody brilliant! My god, no wonder a bloke like you is in the Marauders~"
"Shut up, he grumbled, cuffing his laughing friend on the side of the head. Sirius whined lightly, rubbing his head. "I never knew prefects to be so violent."
"You'd be surprised." He smirked in a way that flashed oddly sharp teeth. Canine teeth. Sirius studied him nervously. "...He's going to kill me in my sleep," He whispered over to James, who snorted in laughter.
"Only if you're lucky," he told him with a snort. "Now quit devising terroristic plots against people, won't you?"
"But it's in our nature, Moony!" Sirius protested, shaking his head.
"That would be like telling a hyena to quit laughing." James added.
Sirius nodded. "-Or a vampire not to drink blood-"
"-Or Aerosmith to stop rocking it hard!-"
"-Or fat people to stop being jolly!"
He snorted. "Tell that last one to Peter," he suggested with a smirk. "...and what on Earth is Air-o-smith?"
James and Sirius flashed each other large grins. "Only the most bloody amazing Muggle-American rock band to ever grace our ears!" Sirius exclaimed, eyes wide.
Remus looked worried and skeptic. "Do I even want to know?"
"I'm the same bloke you've known since '71~" He exclaimed cheerily.
"Yes, and I'm well aware of your musical tastes," he sniffed. Moony was the type for good old-fashioned classical, himself, and the music that the others in the group listened to made him cringe.
"Well, excuse me for not taking interest in bloody awful violins and boring composers." He said with a shrug, grinning sneerily to the other.
"Bah! You don't know what real music is!" he accused haughtily.
"Guitars and signing, not dead composers from god knows how long ago!" He crossed his arms, nodding his head.
"Vocals are overrated," Remus sniffed, taking a step forward and getting right into Sirius's face.
"Screeching orchestral pieces are overrated!" He exclaimed, daring to take a step forward, noses touching.
"My music isn't the one that screeches!" he insisted, pushing Sirius back.
"Guitars have wicked licks," he pushed the other back, lips pulling down into a frown.
And even he could not resist the immaturity- serious or not, he was a teenage boy.
"As does your mother," he said with a smile.
Sirius grew silent, just staring at other.
From behind him, he heard James howl in laughter, most likely gripping his stomach from laughing much too hard.
Remus could not help the grin that split his face as he looked at Sirius's expression. Priceless.
He stared. Then stared more. He then continued to stare. "...You prick!"
The statement made James laugh even harder, by now tears were strolling down his eyes and he was leaning against the wall for support.
"Sticks and stones," Remus said calmly, backing up and turning to go with a satisfied look on his face.
Sirius grumbled, gave a wave of his hand and stalked back up stairs, leaving the laughing James on his own.
At that moment, Peter Pettigrew stepped through the portrait hole and started at the stalking away Sirius, the howling James, and the exiting Remus.
"...uh, guys, what did I miss?"
"Sirius just got boned." James said in between snorts of laughter, which caused a string of insults from Sirius, who was already upstairs.
Remus, meanwhile, didn't say anything- he'd already walked out of the common room. Sirius wouldn't really stay angry, after all, he had told his fair share of rude jokes to Remus. Instead, he settled for a nice, long nap.
Remus was not angry himself, obviously. But he was feeling a bit messed-up. So he went out to wander the halls.