Author's Note:
This story blossomed from the brief mention in New Year, New Life that Natsuki moved in with Shizuru for college. My impish inner Shizuru couldn't resist the opening line, though you'll see she does get some payback for that. The story began stewing in my head around the same time as the ``recent'' Child of Doubt, but my muse decided to be playful with me here. Between her sometimes dangling inspiration tantalizingly just out of reach and convincing her ally, life, to throw up other complications for me to deal with, I haven't been able to put in the work to complete this as soon as I might have wished. On the other hand, I certainly cannot complain about some of the things that life has found for me to do otherwise.
I'd like to extend a special thank you to MahouLVH for encouragement, reading and suggestions and to Avadan232 for betaing this.
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This story is set in the same world as my other Mai HiME fictions. It fits after Child of Doubt in New Year, New Life after chapter 8 (``A Picture of Home'') and interspersed with chapter 9 (``Graduation'').
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Home of the Heart: Chapter 1
Question
``Natsuki, we need to talk.'' Shizuru's words cut through Natsuki's consciousness, stopping her as soon as she entered the apartment.
``Shizuru...'' Natsuki turned to her, stricken, the blood pulled from her face by the sheer terror at what words might follow those.
Seeing her girlfriend's fear, Shizuru immediately relented. ``Don't worry, Natsuki. I'm not going to say anything you need be afraid of, rather I hope it to be good.'' The smile creeping to her face broke into a giggle. ``But... the look on your face there was priceless.'' Contrition softened her mirth. ``But that is only because I know you never need fear what it looks like you might expect.''
``Shizuru... I... you...'' Natsuki brought her emotions back under control. ``You owe me for that.'' Her face returned to a more normal color, red in this case, as Shizuru's sincerity calmed her previous fright. The edges of a smile played at her mouth. ``But, you did get me good there.''
Seeing that Natsuki was no longer frightened or angry, Shizuru broke into a happier smile. ``All right, I owe you. Your reaction there is one I will always remember ...and hope I never see in truth.'' She came over to Natsuki and took her hand in apology and comfort. ``But there was an element of truth to my teasing. I would like to talk about something with you.''
``Well.'' Natsuki chuckled at her own reaction and Shizuru's amusement at it. ``Now that you've stopped and restarted my heart, what do you want to talk about?'' Before Shizuru could answer, she looked her in the eye. ``But I guess I should say something first, though.'' She squeezed Shizuru's hand. ``I'm sorry I reacted like that. I really should trust you more, not only to never suddenly spring bad news on me, but also to be there loving me.'' She shook her head at her own inadequacy with words. ``In many ways what I've found here with you is... unbelievable, like a dream. Part of me expects—fears—to wake up from it and find that the world really wasn't this good to me. So... I'm sorry, your words triggered that fear, the fear that the dream might be ending.'' She strengthened her grasp of Shizuru's hand, drawing strength and reassurance. ``And that mere thought was more terrifying than anything I've ever seen.'' A wry grin pulled at her expression. ``I can actually say it was scarier than facing my own death—or ours together.''
``Natsuki.'' Shizuru put every bit of her love into that name. ``I'm sorry. I... I never meant to cause you pain, that kind of pain with that teasing. I...''
``I know.''
Shizuru shook her head and continued, knowing Natsuki understood her need to say more. ``You're right, I owe you. And for that I will spend the rest of my life paying you back, and gladly. For what I owe you is every day, every hour, to show you that I love you, want you, and will never leave you, for as long as we both shall live.''
By the time she finished, Shizuru was blushing as deep a red as Natsuki.
``Shizuru, I know that. I trust you for that. But thank you for saying it again, and even more, thank you for putting up with my silly fears and doubts.'' She pulled Shizuru closer. ``You know I feel the same about you. I love you, and if there is anything I can do to prove it, I want to.''
``You just did.'' Shizuru pulled her into an embrace. ``Please forgive me.''
``Of course, dear.''
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After a bit, the two relaxed their embrace and by mutual consent sat down together on the sofa.
``Um, Natsuki,'' Shizuru began hesitantly, ``would you mind if we actually got around to what I so clumsily tried to start a conversation about earlier?
``Go ahead,'' Natsuki said. But the uncertain little girl in her kept a hold of Shizuru's hand for reassurance. Shizuru didn't mind in the slightest.
``I was wondering what plans you've made for a place to live during college, since the dorms of Fuuka Gakuen will naturally no longer be an option then.''
``I...'' Natsuki ducked her head in embarrassment. ``I haven't really thought that far yet. I was so focused on passing the entrance exam to Fuuka University that I never got around to thinking of anything beyond `university with you'. I'm sorry.''
``There's nothing to be sorry about. I think you prioritized your time well.'' She smiled. ``After all, what good would an apartment like your old one be if you didn't get into Fuuka University and had to go elsewhere.'' Natsuki's innate intelligence made it a fair bet that she would not stop her education with high school. That, at least, was obvious to Shizuru. ``And there is still plenty of time before the term ends for you to find a place.''
``Yeah, you're right,'' Natsuki looked over. ``After all, you were able to find this place pretty quickly after the carnival.''
``And the market for apartments was a lot tighter then, given the destruction and people displaced by the carnival.'' Natsuki nodded in agreement. ``What kind of a place would you want? I'd be happy to help you look.''
``Thanks.'' Natsuki stared up at the ceiling, thinking on the fly. ``I don't need much, just a place to sleep, like my dorm. Not too far from campus would be good.'' Her voice grew quieter. ``I'd like it to be conveniently close to here, and a couple chairs and a table would be nice when... if you come over. Oh, and I'd need someplace to park my motorcycle.''
``Hmm...'' Shizuru ran over these requirements in her on mind. As she did, her expression changed minutely.
Natsuki had learned to read much of this enigmatic face and she chuckled. ``All right. Now that you've decided my plans, could you let me know what they are?''
``Natsuki.'' Shizuru laughed at her girlfriends teasing. ``I will admit to thinking of something, but the decision really is yours to make. All I will do is point out possibilities for you. Whatever you decide, I will agree to.''
``You win. You only have a suggestion.'' Natsuki replied playfully. ``But you still haven't told me what it is.''
``Since you're thinking of someplace convenient to both campus and here...'' This time it was Shizuru's voice which grew quiet and hesitant. ``Would Natsuki consider maybe moving in here ...with me?'' Shizuru's face turned a red worthy of Natsuki. She quickly continued, ``Of course we'd have to check with the landlord, and I don't know if there will be enough room for you, and I don't know if where you're currently parking your motorcycle would work for you in that case, or if you even would want to do this, or...''
``Shizuru.'' Natsuki interrupted her babbling on. ``Shizuru, if you'll let me get a word in to answer.'' She grew a matching blush. ``Living together with you ...wherever, is something I've dreamed of, so if you're willing and would let me...''
``Natsuki. I truly am willing, and would like that, and that you want it too...''
The sat quietly for a bit, savoring this further declaration of their love.
Finally Shizuru spoke. ``Well, in order to realize this dream of ...ours, I guess we'll need to get started on the practical aspects.'' She got up and headed to where she kept her personal papers. ``I know we'll need to talk to the landlord to make it official. Let me get my copy of the lease to see if it would even allow this, or whether we'll need to renegotiate it.''
Natsuki agreed, walking with Shizuru as she went to get the lease. ``And we should probably tell your parents as well,'' she added.
``Yes, though I don't think we need to worry about their reaction.'' The two smiled at each other, agreeing and also very pleased with Shizuru's parents acceptance of them and their relationship.
``And,'' Natsuki added, ``If I'm going to live here, you have to let me pay my half of the rent.''
Shizuru opened her mouth to protest, then saw the determined look in Natsuki's eyes. ``All right, Natsuki. If you really want, we can share paying the rent.''
``Thanks.'' Natsuki was relieved that Shizuru gave in to her request so quickly. She had been ready to argue the point. She really wanted to live here as an equal partner, not some guest. After all, her father gave her that stipend for a reason.
Shizuru quickly found the lease in her well-organized papers. She pulled it out and the two read it together.
``It looks like we will need to negotiate some changes in this with the landlord,'' Shizuru commented. ``I don't see a way around the `for a single resident' clause here.''
``True, that,'' Natsuki agreed. ``And I think we'll be better off with you doing the negotiations. You're so much better at that type of thing. I might end up with us evicted.''
``Thank you for your confidence in me, but don't sell yourself short, Natsuki. You've quite improved your negotiating skills since I first met you.'' She smiled. ``And my father does not discuss business strategy with incompetents.''
``Maybe.'' Natsuki wasn't so sure of herself, though she found it hard to argue with Shizuru, remembering how Toru had used her as a sounding board to prepare for an important meeting. She smiled. That was at that same dinner he'd told her the full truth about Shizumi's miscarriage. ``But why use a novice when there's a master of the art handy.'' When Shizuru combined a quizzically raised eyebrow with a blush at the compliment, Natsuki added, ``If you want me to practice, let's do it on something a little less important.''
``All right. But I think you being there as well will actually help the negotiations.''
``If you say so, master,'' Natsuki teased, ``but please tell me what to say and do.''
``I would be more than glad to do so, Natsuki, if that will make you feel better.''