Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. It belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz.

Notes: This was written while watching the England vs. Germany match! I had no idea who it would turn out, so it was a lot of fun to write! Good show, Germany!

Please excuse my atrocious formatting ;(

"Alright, you guys!"

England and Germany abruptly ended their glaring contest as the American's obnoxious voice called out to them. The young man sauntered over, grinning brightly and sporting a sticker of England's flag on his chest.

"I know you guys have a long-running rivalry or whatever," America said, standing before them. "But for a little extra incentive, I'm gonna kiss whoever wins!"

Germany's eyes widened as he set his jaw stiffly. England made a noise as if he'd been punched in the gut.

"Y-You can't-!," the Brit sputtered. "You can't kiss him!" He gestured wildly in the German's direction as if he were something particularly vile.

"Guess you'd better win, then." America grinned and left them, winking at Germany over his shoulder.

Looking sideways at his adversary, Germany sighed. "I feel as though I've been cursed."

ooo

England covered his face with his hands as Germany took the first goal. He had plenty of time to get ahead, of course, but it still felt as if he had that much less of a chance at winning.

ooo

When Germany took his second goal England vowed no more nonsense and took a deep breath. He resolved to play harder. It definitely wasn't America's kiss he was after, either. And then he scored his first goal. England looked over to Germany with a determined glare to find the man actually smiling. But no, England thought. He wouldn't give Germany the satisfaction of both a win and a kiss. Though the latter was likely to stir something less than 'satisfaction'. He hoped.

The Brit looked over to America, who was watching on the side. Apparently, the second 'goal' he'd thought he'd scored hadn't counted. America clapped anyway.

ooo

During halftime, England wandered over to find America sucking noisily at a slushee. He leaned his forehead against the taller man's shoulder. The game was turning out to be more exhausting than he'd anticipated.

"You OK?" America asked, looking down at him. "Need some more encouragement?"

England gave him a look. "Eh?"

The young man smiled and bent to whisper in his ear.

"If you win, you can have me any way you want tonight."

The Brit raised his eyebrows as if to ask, 'Indeed?' He could already feel a small smile tugging at his lips as the American pulled away from him.

"But," America said. "If you lose, you're wearing womens' lingerie and heels for me."

England had never felt so determined to win.

ooo

Germany allowed himself a large grin as he scored two more goals. He didn't even mind when Prussia wrapped his arms around his neck and gave him a noogie. The two of them looked on in amusement as England cursed and pulled at his hair.

"Looks like you'll be winning the fair maiden's kiss!" Prussia cackled and looked to America, who didn't seem all that bothered by England's lack of action.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Germany replied, smile still on his face.

Germany beat England four to one. They shook hands in a show of good sportsmanship and went their separate ways off the pitch. England groaned as he saw an idiot hurling toward him.

"You got your ass handed to you, man!" Prussia shrieked in his ear.

England proceeded to scowl as he watched America kiss Germany full on the lips and resigned himself to a night of transvestism.