Bella's POV
3 weeks.
It's been three weeks since they left. Since he left.
And life wasn't getting any easier.
I got out of bed to get ready for another treacherous day at school. Another treacherous day of facing friends, and trying to smile, even thought the only thing I wanted to do was crawl up in a whole and cry for the rest of y life.
He thought I would forget.
I couldn't.
No matter how hard I tried.
After slipping on a pair of jeans and a dark blue, long sleeved shirt and converse, I walked slowly downstairs to find that Charlie had already gone to work.
These days, he usually left for work before I even got up. I suppose he couldn't handle the pretense of happiness in our home.
Everything about me seemed to reek of depression.
I pulled up in the school parking lot and sat in my truck until the bell rang, then I walked slowly to class.
After what seemed like a millennia had passed, I walked numbly to the cafeteria for lunch and sat in a spare seat at our usual table.
Then I looked around it at Jessica, Mike, Angela, Lauren and Tyler.
They all seemed too engrossed in their own conversations to notice me. Which was fine by me.
About 10 minutes must have passed when someone's voice cut through the rest.
"Why don't you just kill yourself already?" Lauren said sharply.
I looked up and found her giving me a death glare from across the table.
"Lauren!" Angela said in shock.
"What? Look at her! She doesn't talk or eat or do anything! She should just off herself so that we don't have to go through her whole 'oh he was so great and now he's gone and I miss him so much' faze with her!"
Everyone turned to me, waiting for me to say something. I didn't.
I got up silently and walked out the cafeteria, fighting tears as I ran to my truck
As soon as I was safe and in the comfort of my truck, I broke down. I cried tears that I'd been holding in since he left.
It felt kind of satisfying.
I looked at the school. I had no intention of going back. So, wiping my eyes, I started up the truck and drove home.
As soon as I stopped the engine, I ran into my house, needing an energy boost.
Caffeine.
I boiled the water and opened the fridge. Great. Out of milk.
Rolling my eyes, I trudged back to the truck and started on my way to the supermarket.
I parked close to the door and rushed into the cool, air-conditioned store. I grabbed the nearest carton of milk, and went to the check-out till.
"Anything else?" the lady working the cash register asked me.
I was about to shake my head 'no' when a pack of cigarettes behind the counter caught my eye.
I'd always thought of it as a dirty habit, smoking. But the more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed to me.
After all, I needed a distraction from the pain. One that worked.
I was willing to try anything.
"And a pack of Ace cigarettes, please," I said timidly.
The lady gave me a once-over, obviously not believing that I was legal. But then she sighed and turned around for the box.
While her back was turned, I reached for a bright yellow lighter that was laying on the countertop, and slid it quietly under my sleeve before she turned around.
She tossed me the box and I handed her the money, my heart racing.
As soon as she handed me the till slip I thanked her and almost ran to my truck.
Once I was in the warmth of my truck, I opened up the pack and took out one cancer stick, lighting it up.
I took a deep pull of the smoke and swallowed it down. I reveled in the sensation of the burn at the back of my throat.
I blew out the puff of smoke and didn't hesitate to take another, deeper drag.
This time I felt a strong urge to cough but resisted it, feeling the smoke swimming around in my lungs.
I smiled as I blew out the excess smoke.
If only Edward could see me now…
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A/N Should I continue? Please review!