A/N: I have no idea where the idea for this little drabble came from. I had one of my iTunes playlists on shuffle and "Totally Fucked" from Spring Awakening came on and I suddenly got this random idea for a drabble. The drabble was originally a bit longer, but I cut some parts out to make things flow more smoothly. Once again, I'm going beta-less so sorry for grammatical errors or inconsistencies.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, the characters of Glee, Dianna Agron, Lea Michele, Spring Awakening or basically anything familiar. The title of the fic comes from the song "Totally Fucked" and so are the lyrics below.
There's a moment you know
You're fucked
Not an inch more room
To self-destruct
"I-I'm… I'm pregnant."
The words hit Quinn like a brick wall and she removed her lips from her lover's neck. "What?"
"I'm pregnant, Quinn."
"I heard you the first time. You're not funny Rachel. I told you; I'm only in it for the sex. Why do you think it's alright to throw jokes at me?" Quinn kept her face stern, sitting up and moving to the end of Rachel's bed.
"I'm not joking Quinn. I'm with child."
Quinn bit her lip. Rachel was just kidding. There was no way she was, in any way, shape or form, going to go through what Quinn had gone through in sophomore year.
"Quinny…"
"Don't call me that!" Quinn snapped back, whipped her head around to shoot daggers at Rachel. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding after several seconds. "Sorry," she mumbled in apology. The pain in Rachel's eyes was clear- a pain that Quinn recognized all too well. No matter how great of an actor Rachel was, she'd never be able to fake that pain accurately.
"I'm not lying," a single tear ran down Rachel's face.
"Who-" Quinn couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't care for Rachel; she couldn't care for Rachel. Rachel was just an easy lay and she was rebelling against her mom. It didn't hurt that she managed to experiment with her sexuality in the process.
Rachel visually braced herself before replying to the unfinished question."F-Finn."
"Finn? You let that asshole knock you up? What kind of moron are you? I knew you were self-centered and rude but I never took you as dumb!"
"Quinn! I thought you would understand!"
"Why, because I made a mistake in sophomore year? I let Puck have sex with me because I was feeling bad about myself and wanted reassurance that I was pretty? No, this isn't the same. I bet you were asking for it. I bet you were begging for him to have sex with you. I bet you were moaning like the little whore you are!' Quinn found that she was on the verge of tears now. She had no idea why. It's not like she felt bad for Rachel. Hell, she couldn't care less.
"I love you."
"What?"
"I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."
"You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. What part of "just sex" is hard for you to understand?"
"Q…"
"Stop."
"No, Quinn. I won't stop. I'm pregnant."
"Go-"
"And I love you."
"No, you don't.
"Yes, I do."
"Shut up."
"Quinn Fabray. I am in love with you." The sincerity in Rachel's voice as the words came out of her mouth almost hurt Quinn. Almost.
"I don't care; I'm leaving."
"No. You aren't, actually," the words spilled out with a force no one could deny as a bit frightening. Before Quinn knew it, Rachel was standing in front of her closed door as if to block her lover from leaving.
"Rachel, move."
"No." Quinn was surprised already by Rachel's reluctance to give in. Usually when Quinn was with Rachel, she found that the short brunette was oddly submissive… in a completely non sexual way, of course. God, Rachel was fucking dominant in bed. Quinn eyes widened as she realized what she was thinking. When she wasn't actually doing anything with Rachel, she did her best to pretend like there was nothing between them: No sex, no friendship, and no feelings. Quinn internally chided herself. There never were any feelings, whether she was having sex with Rachel or whether they just passed each other in the hallway at school. Some part of her in the back of her mind tried to argue with that, so Quinn just let her attention drift to the wall to change her train of thought.
"Please. Help me. I'm scared."
"Too fucking bad."
"Quinn, I don't like the person you've become. You've become heartless and cold ever since we got back to school. Where's the fun loving, sweet Quinn I started all of this with at the beginning of summer-"
"You mean the beginning of summer when you were with Finn and could care less that you were cheating on him- that you didn't see us as anything worth acknowledging?"
"That's not how it is. You know that."
"Actually, I don't, Rachel. Everything you've done has convinced me otherwise!"
"I just admitted that I love you!"
"Admitted? Like you're ashamed of whom we are. Who you are. What we've become."
"What are we? Because I don't think you want to be anything with me."
"I want to be everything with you! I want to give you everything I have within me. I want to have everything with you; a fucking house and white picket fence and three children and for us to grow old sitting in wooden rocking chairs on the porch!" Quinn had lost it at this point. Everything was just pouring out. All she got in return was a strange silence from Rachel. "You know what? I love you too. Alright? But this doesn't mean what we're doing is okay!"
"Don't you dare say being gay is-"
"I'm not saying that at all. If you think I'm saying that, you don't know me half as well as I thought you did. I have no problem with being gay- which I'm not- but my mom would. Our school would. Do you see how Kurt has been treated?"
"We could face it together!"
"Right. Quinn Fabray, bisexual and Rachel Berry, whatever you are. Sounds just peachy, doesn't it?"
"I-I don't know who I am. That doesn't mean-"
"Exactly. You don't know anything. I don't know anything. We can't pretend as if we do. Now let me leave."
"If we work through this together we can have everything you want. We want the same things for each other, can't you see it? Quinn, we're in love. You can't deny it."
"Oh, I can't? Just watch and see," the blonde replied, the tone of her voice was emotionless as she pushed Rachel to the side and stormed out of her house. Quinn managed to hold in her tears until the exact moment she got into her car.
