A heavily intoxicated L was a scary one, with no doubt.
The three greatest world's detective let out a rambunctious snort as a equally alcohol taken Matsuda spat out a slurred joke.
Apparently L had, by accident, eaten a heavily alcohol-based strawberry cake and (having a terribly low alcohol tolerance) had promptly stumbled to the living room where the rest of the force were drinking, forcing Light to come(with his chains of course, for if it weren't for those, Light screaming and hugging his roller chair begging desperately not to go with a drunk L would've worked).
Light sat bored and irritated at a plush chair, refusing anything prudishly, not wanting to lose all his dignity like the rest of the monkeys and act like a baboon.
"I love girls with a flat tummy and a sexy face~!"
"CHESTTTSSS!" a member of the force murmured happily, pink-faced.
"How do you like yo' lovers LLLLLLLL?" Matsuda giggled drunkenly. "I love them with huggeeee chests, too!" L chuckled, his face whipped with a crimson hue, his panda-like eyes half open.
"With a round posterior!" L hollered and Light shuddered, frightened as the utterly disturbing image of a drunk L was burned into his mind forever. "He has thisss finneeeee perfectly formed fanny and a flat stomach and he has these gawwwjusss, bewtyfurr sepia pools and chestnut hai-"
Here while pantomiming smacking a fictional ass in air Light shot up from his seat horrified and grabbed his arm tightly.
"My god, come with me you stupid, insufferable, drunk idiot panda!" Light cried out, indignantly and quickly began to drag a hiccupping, staggering L back to their room.
Under all the boisterous noise, a slightly less wasted Soichiro blinked confusedly.
"Didn't he say 'he'?"