Episode tag to "Fugue in Red", like many others I think I was left wanting more at the end of the episode! Very short as I wrote this right after, to satisfy my own need and then decided to publish.
"The Mentalist" characters, storyline etc. do not belong to me.
Won't Let Go by PJ MEH
Teresa could only stand and watch as Patrick Jane's memories came flooding back. Finding his wife and daughter's bodies in the very room of the doorway in which he stood, the pain, the grief, the guilt…
Suddenly, but not unexpectedly, Jane's legs gave out as he leaned back against the door frame and slid to the floor. He sat there silently, his face contorted in pain.
Teresa approached tentatively and knelt down in front of him.
"Jane I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.."
Jane was finding it physically painful to hold back the tears that threatened to brim over. This was his pain and his alone. As Teresa gently put her hand on his arm he whispered, "Just…go.."
Teresa's grip tightened, "I'm not going anywhere Jane."
He couldn't hold it together any longer, as the tears began to spill Teresa's grip tightened still. "It's okay Jane, it's okay". He fell into her arms as the pain took over his body, his breaths came unsteady with his sobbing and Teresa held him firmly. She felt his pain through her veins, and couldn't help feeling the guilt of bringing it back. He'd been happy, as contorted as that happiness may have been. She could have just let him be, let him go. But that man that had walked away from her with the bimbo in a red dress was not the Patrick Jane she knew, and she couldn't watch him go. She knew she would have to hurt him to keep him, but she couldn't let him go. And deep down she knew he wouldn't want to go, despite the pain and guilt and self loathing, those memories were what drove him and what kept him alive.
"I can't stay here" Jane whispered as he regained his composure. Teresa stood and held out her hand, Patrick took it but never made eye contact, ashamed of himself for allowing her to see him lose control. He stood and silently followed her down the stairs and out to her car.
The long drive back to her apartment where she would let Jane set up camp on her couch was quiet. Teresa knew one day he could be the man she knew, and also be happy. There would be many steps before he could reach that point, and for every two steps forward there would be a step back. This was one of those steps back.
She just hoped he'd let her help him through those steps, because she wasn't going anywhere, and she wasn't letting Jane go either.