Ok. If you've happen to stumble across this whilst browsing fanfiction, i do expect you to be confuzed.
This was supposed to be a result to a south park quize on Quizilla, but since Quizilla is retardes, I'm posting this hear, leaving the pictures on quizilla.
If you ARE here because you took my quize, then congradulations. I like you.
Enjoy~
"Piper Evans"
You're the Unique, one of a kind, artistic girl!
Around adults you are polite and respectful (However, you are quick to anger), but around friends, you're fun, outgoing, and often times unintentionally funny (or just stupid). Almost everything about you is unique, different, and even weird to others. You try every day to break the boundary of your comfort zone, trying new things. Your self-freedom is admired by a number of people, while others, not so much.
Eric Cartman: That bitch is so weird; I fuckin' hate that stupid hippie. (You: I told you. I'm. Not. A. Fucking. Hippie.) Quiet bitch! You're either a hippie ore you're a lesbian, make your choice! (You: I swear to god Cartman.)
Kenny: *muffled* She's actually kinda pretty in a way. (Me:...'in a way') Yeah, like, in her own weird way.
Stan: She's always trying to hang around with us, probably because she doesn't have much friends, I mean, I'd be cool with that and all, she's pretty nice and has her funny moments, and she only ever gets pissed off whenever Cartman speaks. Or just opens his mouth for that matter.
Kyle: I wouldn't mind if Piper joined our group, it'll probably seem a little strange to have a group with four guys and then one girl with her sense of... um, 'unique' style. But despite how weird she dresses, she's still pretty nice.
Butters: Aw jeez, Piper's real sweet 'n all, but she can be pretty weird sometimes. But whenever the guys are wanting to make me do somethin' stupid, she'll always stand up fer me if I say I don't really feel comfortable doin' it.
Clyde: She drew a doodle of me during class... with like, the most deformed face you could imagine. She got Mr. Garrison to let her tape it to the board. She thought it was funny as hell whenever people asked, "Who's that picture of? If it Clyde?" Come on! It didn't look anything like me!
Craig: Pretty cute I guess.
Bebe: Piper's really nice. I admire how she developed this unique style, and completely brushes off whatever people say about it. Well, except for Cartman. She really shouldn't let him get to her so much.
Jimmy: P-P-Piper's re-really nice. Sh-she's always he-helping me out when I have tr-trouble with my clu-clutches. I-I still like h-her, Even thou- though she did push m-me ov-over when I-I made fu-fun of T-T-Timmy.
Phillip "Pip" Pirrup: Whenever we are in English class reading Great Expectations, She will turn around and stare at me for long periods of time with a strange look, it's quite odd.
Ze Mole/Christophe: Ah yes, I remember 'er from Ze Revolution, wasn't ze most 'elpful person in the team, but then again, no one vas...
Timmy: TIMMAH!
Token: I don't know her too well, but I know enough to tell you that she makes a really good friend, always nice and looking out for you, but, I can't help but notice the confused stares she gets in public.
Tweak: I'm afraid to be seen in public o-on her 'cause I can f-fe-feel the people's eyes an-and it's- it's too much p-pressure! *twitch*
Wendy: she has a really good sense of fashion, but at the same time everything she wears is totally unique and different, not to mention she's a really great person in general.
Red: Piper's pretty weird, but always nice. She's really pretty too! Whenever I ask her secret, she looks at me and says; "Red, I can promise you this; it don't come naturally." And she then proceeds to sulk. :)
Lizzie: She is without a doubt amazing :D
Bill: That weird chick? Yeah she's pretty cute, but her fashion sense is so gay.
Fosse: Haha, yeah, so gay! (Me: hush you)
Shelly (Marsh): What, that rainbow turd? Do I seriously look like I care?
Kevin (Kenny's older brother): I seen 'er once 'r twace 'round the house before.
Karen (Kenny's younger sister):I've seen her and Kenny hanging out sometimes…
DogPoo: She tried to give me a bath once. But all else aside, she really is nice. And cute.
Kyle Schwarts (Kyle's Cousin): Oh she was very nice to me, but oddly enough whenever I talked about my allergies; her eye would always start to twitch.
Terrance Mephesto: MY EYEBROWS ARE TOO NORMAL!
Ike: I like the pretty lady…
Scott Tenormen: Is that like, one of that fat kid's friends? Yeah, I really don't care.
Trent: I don't exactly know her SEEING AS HOW I WAS IN JUVIE FOR MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF SOME PEOPLE, but I did see her hanging around with those traitors, she dressed weird, was annoyingly nice, and- and- yea.
Damien: She tried to be friendly with me, so I pushed her over.
Baahir: ...Oh, that girl who dresses funky? Yea, I don't know her too well. (me:... did seriously just say funky?)
Bridon: She's nice. But I can tell she gets annoyed when I start singing, but still tries to act polite.
Gregory: She is a very lovely woman with much self-respect! :D
Garry: Oh yes, Piper, she tried to show me sympathy when Stan and his friends wanted to kick my ass. But I could tell she was starting to get annoyed out after she met my family :)
Loogie/Luigi: Yes, I remember her. She was the tooth fairy to the group we found in Cherry Creek. Possibly the only female tooth fairy we had. Rather nice lookin' too, eh? (See episode; "Tooth Trade")
Kip: She added me on Facebook :D
Fat Goth Girl/Henrietta: As much of a shocker this must be to you, I seriously don't care.
Tall Goth: Way too cheery for my standards.
Hair-Flip Goth: At least she didn't try to become, like a vampire
Kindergoth: May she burn in the depts of hell.
Adults;
Sharon (Marsh): Piper's a real sweet girl, she's always so free spirited and expressive, she never obsesses over having all the same things that the popular kids in school have. Her parents are nice folks too, they seem to be very proud of her, and they have every right to feel that way.
Randy (Marsh): She's a nice girl, always saying yes ma'am and sir when around her elders.
Gerald (Broflovski): She's come over once or twice. From what I can tell her parents raise her well. Its good to see Kyle have a nice friend like that
Sheila (Broflovski): Oh it was absolutely precious how she played with Ike when she came over for the first time; we need to invite her over again. I am however concerned about her taste in clothes. I suppose I do admire the fact that she is trying to stand out, I just hope she doesn't overdo it.
Ms. Cartman (Liana): Yes, she and Poopy-kins are nice friends. I won't deny they fight sometimes, but there was one time she actually came over to play lambs with him.
Linda (Scotch): She came over once when Butters and her were paired up for an English project, but I haven't seen her since.
Stephen (Scotch): I don't know her and Butter's relationship, BUT IF HE GETS THAT GIRL PREGNANT HE IS GROUNDED! (You: ಠ_ಠ) (Me: I don't think they even know each other that well…)
Principle Victoria: A good student. I was very proud when she and Wendy began spreading breast cancer awareness around the school. And by all means, I do not regret the decision of letting them fight for it.
Big Gay Al: Oh, she is absolutely adorable~! She just has the kee-yutest little baby face, and not to mention she has her own little style she's developed! OH, I could just eat her up!
Mr. Jefferson/Michael Jackson: Come play Peter Pan with me Piper! Let's all go to Neverland, where we'll be young foreeeeverrr. (Me: RUN. RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.)
Tuong Lu Kim/City Chicken Guy: She arways call on phone and ask for Shitty Chiken Special, but then raugh and hang up. Then she call again next day and do same thing!
Jesus: Nice girl. I'd like to see more children with that same respect she has towards adults.
Ms. Crabtree: AH DON'T GIVE A SHIYAT! (You: Fat whore…) WHAT DID YE-U SAHY! (You: I said, Open the door. :I)
Mayor McDaniels: Ah yes, Piper? I've met her parents before when they first moved here.
Officer Barbrady: Meh...
Stuart McCormick: *drunk* Wha...girl's a'right I guess, it's okay – hic! – though'causeI'mblonde! (me:... that seriously made no sense)
Carol McCormick: Nice girl I guess, I haven't seen her more than once though. Her and Kenny are pretty good friend's though I think.
Mr. Mackey: Real nice girl, always bein' respectful, I wish some students would be polite like that, 'mkay.
Mr. Garrison: Bright kid, tried to cheer me up when I had that break down in class about my gender.
Chef: Piper's a real nice kid, not so sure 'bout her odd style though.
Mr. Slave: Who now?
Other;
Towlie: Wha' ? (me: . nothing) ... (me:...) ... (me:...) ... wanna get high? (me: walk away Towlie. just walk away.)
Flo Kimble: I should be visiting her soon for the first time in three years or so. Ohhhh, I can't wait!
(If you don't understand, Flo is shown to represent the menstrual cycle :D)
Sparky (the dog): Bark. (me:... :I)
Satan: Damien's not too fond of her personality, but I think they'd be cute friends. :D
Mr. Hankey: What now? (Me: what?) ...What? (Me: wha-... fuck this shit I'm goin' to space)
Mr. Kitty: Meow. (me:... :T)
Optimus Prime: ... why am I here? (me: I don't know. why are here? get out.)
Scenes/Scenarios/quotes:
"Come on now Piper, will you please tell m-"
Piper put a finger over Butter's mouth. "Shhhh," Piper said, "Pancakes"
"Huh?"
"Make me pancakes."
"But- but- What?"
"No offence Butters, but your only good for making pancakes."
"How am I not supposed to take that offensively?"
"Like a champ." she smiled "Now where's my pancakes?"
"Guys, Klye and I are going to go look for a way out again." Stan said to Piper, Cartman, and Kenny.
"Well you can't go on an empty stomach." Piper replied, looking through her bag. After a moment, she pulled a few bags of Fruit Snacks out and set them on the table.
"You had those this entire time?" Klye asked, giving her a surprised look.
"Yep, I always carry Fruit Snacks with me!" She said, grinning.
"Why?"
"Because... I like Fruit Snacks." She said, giggling slightly. (Piper is known for carrying fruit snacks around. It's best if you don't question it.)
"Give me some, I'm fucking starvin'!" whined Cartman.
"Fine, fine." Piper sighed, throwing him a pack too.
"Um guys let's-"
"Shush." Cartman held out a finger to silence her.
"You did not just shush me!" she stomped her foot. She was ignored again.
"What about Damien?"
"Him too. Even though he's supposed to be creepy, he's really just one big bundle of Narm Charm." Piper replied.
"Just sleep on that side of the room" Stan said, pointing to the opposite wall.
"Not if I don't get a blanket!" Piper contradicted stubbornly. "You have warm pajamas; I only have a tank top!"
...
"...and pants." She added uncomfortably when Kenny's head whipped around to stare at her.
Arriving at the table, Piper saw what could be described as a mini-disaster. Cartman was shoveling in food and making a huge mess that Kyle was apparently yelling at him for.
"Cartman... You have stuff on your face." She said, walking up behind Kenny and taking a seat next to him.
"Psh, where?" He asked.
She gestured to her entire face.
Shrugging me off, he continued to eat in his messy manner, making Piper frown.
Cartman took a seat next to her and smiled. She really wanted to hit him. "Don't smile. I'll hit you."
Pipers's head shot up, and she hit the cabinet and burst into giggles.
"Guuuuuuuuyyys!" she said, swaying in her spot.
She made to get off, and Kyle, ever the gentleman, rushed in and caught her before she hits the ground. "Yaaaay!" Piper claps her hands almost drunkenly.
"I thought...you'd -hic- let me fall or -hic- somefink..."
"Umm, Mrs. Evans?" Stan called.
"Oh don't worry boys; she just gets like this when she drinks too many sodas!" A voice replied from the living room.
Piper burrowed her head into Kyle's hat and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Wangohome."
"Piper please get off me."
"No! Wangohome!"
"You are home; now seriously, get off your freaking heavy!" Klye said straining to stay upright.
"Dude, help me!" He said to Stan.
"I don't know what to do!"
"Wangohome!"
"…I think so too." Kyle mumbled, watching as Piper joked with Craig, bumping into him with her hip.
The silence was a bit awkward, so Piper smacked Cartman across the face and walked out. I'll think of something more creative later… Every day of this sorta drains out your Ideas. Piper thought.
"Wow, look at the size of these houses." Piper said in slight awe as they passed mansion after mansion.
"I know right? Cherry Creek is the richest part of Denver. I'll bet these kids get like 10 bucks a tooth from the 'tooth fairy'." Stan said, putting air quotes around tooth fairy.
"Hey, this house looks perfect, there's obviously kids living there." Cartman said, pointing to a large house across the street with toys spewed about the yard.
They didn't speak as they began running towards the house, Piper lagging behind a bit due to her poofy tooth fairy dress.
They arrived at a window on the side of the house, and Stan was to first to speak.
"Here, you can tell this is a kid's room because there are Mega-Man stickers on the window. Kenny and Kyle began to help Piper tie a rope around her, making sure it wouldn't come undone, and walked over to a pole, which Stan and Cartman were readying to lift.
"Piper, once you're in the kid's room, leave the tooth under the pillow. Then come back out and we'll wait for the parents to notice. Then you'll swing back in and take the money they left." Stan instructed, starting to lift the pole along with everyone else.
"Dude, this is the smartest business venture ever." Cartman said, his voice straining slightly as he lifted the pole higher.
Piper neared the window and grasped onto the ledge, ready to pry it open before she felt a presence next to her. She turned to see a red haired boy ,also being lifted in the air by four other boys, with a blue princess dress on, complete with matching plastic wings like her own, and a painfully obvious blonde wig with red strands peeking out here and there.
"What the…"
They stared at each other.
Piper eventually looked down and gave her friends a puzzled look.
"Hey, what the hell are you guys doing?" Cartman barked.
"We're going to sneak a tooth under this rich kid's pillow, then come back and collect the tooth fairy money his parents left him." A blond haired boy said in a nasally voice.
There was a slight pause before Stan spoke up.
"Hey, you can't do that!"
"Yeah? And why not?" Another boy shot back at him.
"Because that's what we were going to do!"
"Ya, you ripped off our idea!" Piper said, still dangling in the air along with the other boy.
"What the hell are you talking about? We've been doing this for over two years!"
"Two years?" Kyle asked, surprised.
"Nice tooth fairy costume, you think anyone will believe you in that?" The boy next to Piper said suddenly, in a mocking tone.
"It's better than your dress! You look like a bad Jennifer Lopez nightmare!"
"How dare you!" He yelled, as they began a slap fight.
"Ok, in the game, Piper's husband has just been murdered. I'm the chief officer of police who first discovered the body. Cartman; you're the priest that helps Piper through her mourning,"
"Damnit." Cartman mumbled.
"Ok, and Piper," Stan said, looking towards her direction. "Kyle's going to be the head detective of your case."
"Case?" Piper repeated, raising her eyebrows, "You calling me a Fruit Loop?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Never mind." Piper coughed.
"I don't believe so…" Pip murmured to Piper, then perked up as a dark-haired boy came up on the snow covered field.
"Damian! My good friend!" Pip crowed, prancing up and latching himself onto him.
Damian threw him off, sending him nearly 20 feet away from where they were standing, scowling heavily. Piper blinked. That was kind of…
…weird.
Christophe took a slow drag off his cigarette, staring calmly at the brunet. Piper huffed and fumbled with the keys, plugging them into the ignition.
"Good. Now, fleep ze switch!" He commanded.
Piper blinked. "What?"
"Press ze gas pedahl." The French boy sighed in annoyance.
"Oh." They jerked out of the driveway, creaking along slowly.
"Good, now gun it."
"Um, Okay. Wait what?" Piper looked over at Christophe, mildly confused.
"Gun ze golf cart, you know? Vroom, vroom?"
"Um, are you sure?"
"Oui."
"Okay then." They sped down the street, Piper clutching to the steering wheel with a death grip. They made a sharp turn that would only be legal in Grand Theft Auto and swerved to avoid a large tree.
"You are doeeng excellent." Christophe praised. "Fantasteec."
Piper beamed at the praise and went faster, beginning to enjoy her "driving lesson". A police car pulled up next to her, sirens blinking. She smiled and waved. "Look Christophe, police!"
"Yes Piper, police. Drive faster."
"I can't this is as fast as it goes."
Christophe hissed in annoyance. "Fine, make a turn at ze crosswalk."
"Okay!" Piper swerved, scraping against a metal fence. No doubt leaving scratch marks on the tires as they shot down the road.
"On the count of three, jump out of ze golf cart." Christophe shouted.
"What? No! This is my dad's, he'll kick my ass if something happens to it!"
"I weel buy you anozer! One!
"Christophe!"
"Piper, argue and die!
"Goddamn it!"
"Two,"
"Three!" They jumped out, Christophe pulling into a professional tuck-and-roll. While Piper slammed into the pavement, barely pulling her legs away to save herself from becoming crippled. The golf cart eventually slowed down on its own. The police car came to a stop, an angry officer rushed out.
"Do you have permission from your parents to be driving a golf cart on a main road!"
"Sheet. Run, Piper, run." They ran, easily losing the overweight police man.
Piper bent over, gasping for air. Christophe lit another cigarette, eyeing the brunet. "Same time next week?"
"…Sure."
(A/N: I'm having way too much fun with these, they're starting to become more and more like mini-stories)
"NO TRABAJAR AQUI! VAYA!" Piper suddenly yelled, running over to the Peruvian pan flute band.
The band stopped playing, looking at her in surprise.
"NO PLEYA LA MUSICA EN LA PROMENADE! NO ES BUENO!" She continued to yell in Spanish.
"This is our Peruvian flute band's turf, you got that?" Stan growled, the band members look at them for a few moments, then continue to play, grinning.
"God Damnit!" Kyle yelled.
"NO! NO ES BUENO!" Piper grabbed one of the members Siku and threw it. This made them stop playing as the Siku player looked at his now empty hand, then proceeded to run in the direction of the instrument.
"Come on guys, let's just go." Stan said, walking away. Piper and the others followed, only to see another band playing up ahead.
"Jesus Christ!"
"NO, NO ES BUENO! NO TRABAJAR AQUI!" Piper yelled, running in their direction.
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