Safe vs. Shame
A/N: OK first off, I'm sorry this one-shot is a day late, but I have a perfectly good reason. You see, since yesterday, October 21st, was Back To The Future day, my movie theatre was doing a screening of the entire trilogy at 5:00 P.M. and I wanted to go, despite the fact that I had to miss the new South Park episode "Safe Space" But I was willing to miss it, since I haven't seen the any of the BTTF movies since I first saw them back in 2009 and 2010. I thought a lot of people would be there, so I bought my ticket at 2:30 or so. Turns out, I was one of 28 there, which was a small amount even though we were in one of the smaller theatres. And about half of them left after the second one finished. But I stuck around for all three of course. :)
Back on topic, I just got done watching the newly released uncensored version of "Safe Space" on South Park Studios and I definitely have a good story in mind for this one. And as usual with my series of after-episode-one-shots, this is not part of my RFSP series. And of course, I don't own South Park. Enjoy!
"God damn that stupid fat ass!"
Kyle fumed as he watched Butters pull the switch to drop the trapdoor that sent Reality falling down with the rope still attached to him, effectively killing him.
"What happened out there?" Wendy asked. Wendy and Kyle both were still serving a two week detention service for refusing to help Cartman with his body shaming "problem"
"Those idiots just hung Reality!" Kyle answered.
"What!"
Wendy got up and joined Kyle at the window and sure enough, Reality's dead body was left hanging there as everyone else rejoiced. Cartman was doing a little victory dance and when he saw Kyle and Wendy staring at him, he flipped them off while flashing an evil smirk.
"How can everyone else in this god damn town be this retarded!?" Kyle screamed out of annoyance. "Why am I the only one that can see right through the thick layers of lard that make up that fat ass and see the difference between when he really cares about something and when he's just doing shit for personal gain!?"
"That makes two of us!" Wendy added. "Four if you count Stan and Kenny."
Kyle and Wendy drew back from the window and returned to their seats.
"If we weren't already in detention, I would SO get out there and beat the living shit out of him again!"
"You and me both!"
Kyle and Wendy sat in angry silence for a few minutes to try and calm down.
"I'm actually surprised Wendy." Kyle told her after the two had calmed down.
Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Surprised? What for?"
"I kind of figured that you, the biggest activist I've ever met, would try to at least verbally take that lard tsunami down. Why didn't you try and make another cause?"
Wendy sighed with what sounded like a hint of disappointment in her voice.
"I didn't do anything because I didn't think anybody would listen. They didn't the first time."
Now it was Kyle who raised an eyebrow. "First time?"
Wendy rolled her eyes. "I figured nobody'd remember. Don't you remember that big fuss I made a while ago about this very topic? You know, about Photoshopping yourself?"
"You mean that time when Kanye West kept trying to convince everyone that Kim Kardashian isn't a hobbit even though everything he said about her contradicted his argument?"
"Exactly."
Kyle began to recall those particular events. Wendy had tried so hard to convince everyone to not give into the negativity of others and that it's what's on the inside that matters, but nobody had listened, not even Stan. Kyle faintly began to recall that Wendy had gotten fed up so much that she had eventually given in.
"Why did you give up?"
Wendy shot a confused glance at Kyle. "Excuse me?"
"The first time this happened. You were so fed up with nobody listening to you, you eventually gave up and gave in. Why?"
Wendy uttered a disappointed-sounding sigh. "I'd…rather not talk about it; but…now that you mention it…I think we should get out there and do something about this."
"But Wendy, you were telling people to ignore negativity. Cartman's trying to do the same thing but to act like the negativity never existed as well, to act like they're perfect. This is kind of the opposite of last time don't you think?"
"I don't care." Wendy answered as her eyebrows narrowed with confidence in her eyes. "Something has to be done Kyle."
"Are you willing to risk PC Principal's wrath?"
"You're damn right I am! He deserves it anyways. After all, it is kind of his fault."
"Uh…how is it PC Principal's fault?"
"Because if he wasn't so damn PC-like-there's-no-tomorrow, Cartman wouldn't have had anybody to take advantage of, none of this would've happened, and Butters wouldn't be in the hospital!"
"So what should we do then?"
"That I don't know…yet."
Meanwhile, Randy was making his daily trip to the new Whole Foods store and was just about to check out when he saw that the same cashier that had been taunting him for the past several days now for not giving money to charities.
"Alright dick-hole, I've got you this time!" Randy thought to himself as he approached the check-out aisle.
Randy began placing what he had selected on the small conveyor belt as the cashier rang up each item for him.
"Let's see…." The cashier said as he called out each item. "Twenty dollars on beer, fifteen dollars on steaks, seven dollars on milk, nine dollars on soup, $3.81 on grapes, and $2.48 on crackers. Your total is $58.29, and would you like to make a donation to help feed hungry children around the world?" the cashier asked Randy with a smug grin.
Randy, wearing his #shamelessAmerica shirt, responded with an even smugger grin and flatly stated "No."
The cashier, although shocked at first, quickly thought up another plan.
"No problem sir, just tap the little box on the screen right there that says 'I hog all the food to myself and don't give a damn about those less fortunate than me'."
Randy whistled and two seconds later, a raggedy looking kid that was likely from a downtrodden third-world country approached the register and tapped the box for Randy.
The cashier donned a stunned and defeated look, not having expected that in the least. The moment Randy and the kid walked away, the cashier took out his phone and started posting a whole pack of negative spats to Randy's Twitter page.
"Alright kid, you know the drill." Randy told his companion. The kid took out an iPad and used to hack into Twitter and delete all of the negative comments that the cashier had just posted.
"You'll be there for the shooting of the next commercial won't you?" Randy asked the kid, who nodded "yes" in response.
"Alright, I'll see you then!"
Later in the day, Wendy and Kyle both traveled to Hells Pass Hospital to pay Butters a visit.
"Butters? Butters?" Kyle said as quietly as he could as he tried to wake the sleeping blonde up. Butters' eyes blinked a few times before finally opening.
"K-Kyle? W-Wendy? What are y-you guys doing here?" Butters asked as he coughed in between words; still having severe symptoms from the exhaustion he had been experiencing.
"What do you mean 'why are we here'?" Kyle asked in a soft voice. "Dude, our friend is in the hospital and we're not going to see him?"
"O-Oh…I should've realized that…."
"We need to ask you something." Wendy told him.
"OK, what?" Butters asked.
"Well, since you're stuck here in the hospital, we wanted to know if you minded the two of us taking your job of removing negative Twitter posts for a while." Wendy replied.
"Oh g-golly, you'd really do that for me?" Butters asked.
"Of course dude. It's the least we can do to get back at that fat asshole-I mean it's the least we can do to make sure the job gets done so PC Principal doesn't give you detention."
"Aw gee, th-thanks fellas."
Later that night at Kyle's house, Wendy and Kyle were up in Kyle's room busily going through all the POSITIVE comments they could find on Cartman's Twitter page and removed them one by one.
"Isn't this just going to get Butters in more trouble? Or at the very least, won't he get grounded?" asked a concerned Wendy, not having realized this before.
"It's no big deal. If we get caught, we'll just come clean and Butters won't get punished."
Wendy looked a little impressed. "You're willing to tell your mom that you did this?"
"If that's what it takes to finally take Eric fat ass Cartman down, I sure am!"
A/N: Wow, Season 19 is already halfway over! From the looks of it, this season's not going to have an episode about Kim Davis, or Ashley Madison, or Cecil the lion! (Then again, I already did one about Ashley Madison with my other story "Cheaters Never Win")
I can see them doing Kim Davis at least, what with PC Principal and all, but it's a seriously missed opportunity if they completely bypass all of them, especially the lion!
But anyways, before I sat down to watch this week's episode, I had wondered if it was going to be some kind of rehash of Season 16's Emmy winner "Raising The Bar" or the Season 17 finale "The Hobbit" and it was in a way, but it was able to stand out as its own story at the same time. "The Hobbit" was more about just not giving in to peer pressure and to be fine with what you are, while "Safe Space" was more about pretending the negative comments didn't exist. You've done it again Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone.
And I also liked how the new kid David from "You're Not Yelping" made a cameo appearance with Stan and Kenny. I wonder if that means he's going to replace Cartman or be the fifth member of the group when it's not Butters?
As far as this one-shot is concerned, I really feel like this should have more chapters based on the ending. I'm sure I'll add more to it someday, but I've got other stuff to work on right now.
I hope you enjoyed this! All reviews are very much appreciated!