Hard to Love
Kendall walked into his and Logan's shared bedroom. He looked to the bed they had shared for quite some time now. It was actually two single beds pushed together to make one bed. Kendall looked at the small form that was Logan. He walked over to the bed and sat down in front of Logan who was sleeping. Kendall looked down at the tear stained face beside him.
Kendall hated that he was the cause of the tears. He hated that his beautiful angel had cried because of him again. Kendall felt his heart shatter every time this happened. It broke more and more every time he came home to this.
This wasn't the first time Kendall had walked into his and Logan's shared room and found the brunette like this. It's seems that ever since they came out to L.A. things changed. Kendall and Logan started dating shortly after their first tour had ended after Logan had a fling with an actor who broke his heart. Things had been great at first.
"No way," Logan said shaking his head.
"Come on, it's not that bad, just try it," Kendall said holding the cup out to Logan. Logan looked at the concoction Kendall had made.
"That is not a smoothie," Logan said shaking his head.
"Yeah it is now try it," Kendall said waving it under Logan's nose. Logan wrinkled his nose. "If you love me you'll try it," Kendall said shaking the smoothie slightly.
"I hate when you do that," Logan said glaring at the blonde. Kendall just smiled and held the smoothie out. Logan took the smoothie and took a sip and handed it back to Kendall. "There you happy?" he asked.
"Well?" Kendall asked.
"It wasn't horrible," Logan said. Kendall just laughed and kissed Logan on the cheek. Logan smiled and turned his head and caught the blonde's lips. Kendall pulled back and laughed, Logan laughed a well.
"So did you like it?" Kendall asked.
"Yeah, you're an amazing kisser now get back here," Logan said reaching out for the blonde.
"You know what I meant," Kendall said.
"Come on, I want to make out and you're refusing me?" Logan asked.
"Tell me you like it," Kendall said.
"Just drop it and c'mere," Logan said taking a step closer to Kendall. Kendall took a step back.
"Just admit you likes it and you can have your wicked little way with me," Kendall said.
"Oh my god fine, I liked it," Logan said grabbed the blonde by his shirt and pulling him to him. He crashed their lips together.
They were in love. That was all that mattered to them. They had been happy and had fun. Kendall treated Logan like he was a king and did everything for him. Logan on the other hand treated Kendall the same way. They would happily do things for the other. Kendall didn't mind doing things for Logan. He just wanted to make Logan happy. He wanted to be everything that Logan deserved. Logan in return did the same thing. He wanted to be what Kendall deserved.
Things between them were great and Kendall fell more in love with Logan everyday, if that was possible. He was always finding something new to like about Logan, even thought had had known him for years now.
"Kendall," Logan said looking over at the blonde who was sitting beside him. Kendall tore his gaze away from the TV and looked at Logan.
"Yeah?"
"Can you do me a favor?" Logan asked.
"What?"
"Can you get me a soda?" Logan asked giving Kendall his best pout.
"The kitchen is like ten feet away you lazy bum," Kendall said laughing as he stood up.
"Yeah, but I don't want to get up right now," Logan said as Kendall walked into the kitchen. "Thank you," Logan called out to him.
"Yeah, yeah," Kendall waved his hand at Logan a smile on his face.
Sudden a whip sound filled the air and Kendall and Logan both looked over at James and Carlos who were laughing. Carlos was holding his phone in his hand.
"Someone's whipped,' James said.
"Am not," Kendall said shaking his head as he looked at his two friends.
"Kendall my soda," Logan said. Kendall nodded his head. He grabbed a soda from the refrigerator and brought it over to Logan.
"There you go," Kendall said. Logan smiled as Kendall sat down next to him. Logan leaned over and kissed the blonde on the lips.
"Thank you," he said smiling.
"Oh my god."
Logan and Kendall parted and looked over at James who was staring at them.
"What?" Kendall asked.
"I just realized something," James said looking at the two.
"What now?" Logan asked sitting back on the couch as he opened his soda. He took a sip.
"You've got him trained," James stated looking at Logan.
"What? You're nuts," Kendall said shaking his head.
"He totally does," Carlos said catching on. He nodded his head.
"Think about it, he wants something and he asks you," James started.
"Shut up James," Logan said kicking the other brunette.
"Anyways he whines until you give in and if you do it he gives you a kiss," Carlos said looking at Kendall now. Kendall looked over at Logan with a brow arched.
"They're crazy," Logan said shaking his head.
"Are we?" James asked.
"Yes now shut up and watch the movie," Logan said looking at the TV. James put his hands up and turned his attention back to the movie. Carlos just shook his head and started to watch the movie again.
Logan looked at Kendall with a smile and snuggled into his side. "Love you," Logan said. Kendall laughed and shook his head.
"Love you too," Kendall said. He leaned in closer to Logan's ear. "By the way I know what you've been doing you sly little fox, I don't mind either," he whispered. Logan grinned and leaned up and kissed him again.
Then things changed.
Kendall started to push the boundaries a bit. He started to do thing he wouldn't normally do. He stopped putting Logan first sometimes. He stared to worry a bit more about himself at times. He and Logan would fight and then they'd make up. Logan wasn't so innocent, but Kendall did most of it. He started most fights.
They would fight over silly things too. They'd fight if one of them forgot to set their alarm, or if they turned the alarm off and didn't wake the other. They would fight over what to watch on TV or what to do on their days off. They'd also fight over Kendall flirting or Logan not paying attention to Kendall.
"What the hell was that?" Logan asked as he stormed into the apartment ahead of the blonde. Neither of them noticed James and Carlos sitting on the couch watching TV. The two looked over at them, neither of them looked shocked that Kendall and Logan were fighting again.
"I didn't do anything wrong," Kendall said his arms crossed over his chest.
"You are unbelievable," Logan said shaking his head. He stormed down the hallway to their bedroom. Kendall followed after him.
"I'm sorry I didn't know it was illegal to talk to someone other than you," Kendall shouted.
"You weren't jut talking to her," Logan snapped turning around once they were in their bedroom.
"Yes I was," Kendall said.
"You were flirting with her. I am not blind Kendall," Logan shouted.
"I was not flirting, I was being nice," Kendall said.
"Bull shit," Logan snapped. He crossed his arms over his chest and glare at the blonde.
"I was being nice. I mean it's nice to have attention on you once in awhile," Kendall said.
"Don't even go there," Logan said shaking his head.
"Why not? I mean you can ignore me all you want, but when you want attention and I'm talking to someone else you get all pissy," Kendall snapped.
"I do not get pissy."
"You do too."
"I do not."
"God, why do you have to be so god damn stubborn? All I was doing was talking to her and welcoming her to the Palm Woods and you're acting like I was fucking her in front of you," Kendall said.
"Might as well have been. The way she was laughing and you were touching her," Logan hissed.
"Where are all these insecurities coming from? You know I'm with you," Kendall stated.
"Doesn't feel like it. Sometimes, you feel like you're a million miles away," Logan said shaking his head.
"God, you are so stupid sometimes," Kendall said before he could stop himself. Logan froze his mouth hanging open. Kendall's eyes went wide as he realized what he had said.
"What did you just say?" Logan asked looking at Kendall shocked.
"Nothing," Kendall said quickly shutting his mouth, as if maybe it would take his words back.
"Get out," Logan said pointing to the door.
"I didn't mean it," Kendall said quickly. Kendall knew how Logan felt about being called stupid. All through elementary he had been called stupid and kids teased him. Logan had taken to studying and reading book to get smart. He had worked hard not to be stupid. Kendall knew it was a sensitive subject for Logan.
"No, I can't keep doing this Kendall," Logan said shaking his head.
"What do you mean?" Kendall asked scared that Logan was going to break up with him. He didn't want that to happen. He loved Logan more than anything. It killed him when they fought.
"I jut can't," Logan said shaking his head.
"Don't do this," Kendall said taking a step closer to Logan.
"I can't keep fighting with you. This just isn't working anymore," Logan said.
"You can't do this," Kendall said tears stinging his eyes.
"Just go," Logan said pointing to the doorway. Kendall shook his head.
"No, you can't do this, I love you," Kendall said.
"I said get out," Logan said moving forward and pushing Kendall out of their room. Kendall stumbled into the hallway. Logan slammed the door shut and Kendall heard the lock click.
Kendall shook his head as a tear slipped down his cheek. He hated that he and Logan fought all the time. He just wished things could be easy. He wanted things to go back to the way they had been before. He wanted that carefree love they had, not this fighting almost hate filled one they had now.
Logan stirred in his sleep. He blinked sleepily at the blonde. He rubbed his eyes trying to get them to adjust. Kendall just sat there.
"Ken?" he asked Kendall nodded his head and leaned in and pecked Logan on the lips. Logan welcomed the kiss. "I'm not mad at you."
"I hate when you do that," Kendall said shaking his head. Logan had every right to be mad at him. Kendall had called him a Stupid, the one thing that hurt Logan the most. It reminded him of his lonely childhood.
"I love you Kendall."
"Why?"
"Cause, underneath it all you're a good guy," Logan said sitting up. Kendall sat up straighter and looked at Logan.
"I care more about what I need and things that I want, more than I care about you sometimes. How you can still love me is beyond me," Kendall said shaking his head. Logan laughed.
"You may test my boundaries a bit Ken, and you don't make it easy at times, but I see the real you," Logan stated simply.
"I wish I was more like you Logie," Kendall said smiling at the brunette. Logan smiled and shook his head.
"I love you just the way you are Kendall, you make life interesting."
"God, you're too good for me Logie."
"You keep thinking like that you'll drive yourself insane."
"So are we back together then?"
"Yeah, I can't live without you," Logan said nodding his head.
"This has got to be it, I don't want to break up anymore," Kendall said looking into Logan's eyes. He was serious. He didn't want to break up anymore. He just wanted to be with Logan.
"I know this is where I want to be, Kendall," Logan said nodding his head.
"Me too, there is no one else but you," Kendall said. Logan smiled and pulled the blonde into a kiss. Kendall grinned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Logan.
It would be a challenge. The change wasn't going to happen over night. It was going to be something they had to work at. Kendall would have to try hard to be the man that Logan deserved. He would change for him. They would overcome this challenge. They always did. Everything would work out.
So this is a rewrite of my fic Hard to Love obviously. I was looking it over and it was seriously lacking a plot. I mean it had traces of one but it wasn't very good. I had to fix it up. I think this is a bit better than what I had before. I hope you like it.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND