'Wait. I'm supposed to be dead.'
Arthur thought as he opened his eyes slowly and looked around. His mouth wasn't bone dry from the heat, but his hands were caked in dust. He stood up slowly, shook the dust off and looked around. Inside he felt no weakness, no illness, and breathed in deeply before exhaling normally.
"What the hell? This isn't where I died."
The desert stretched on forever, and as he squinted out into the wavy heat, he saw no town ahead in the distance. He looked behind him and saw no town behind him. He was standing, alone in the middle of a sea of death, nothing for miles.
"Well, if I am gettin' this right, it doesn't really make a damn bit of difference if I die out here, because I am already dead."
He was silent for a moment and then said, "Unless I am not dead."
Again, he looked puzzled and down at the ground and then said, "No I distinctly remember dyin'. I closed my eyes and everything went black."
"You are dead." A voice behind him said.
He turned around quickly and saw a young man staring back at him. He couldn't have been more than twenty years old, and he had the same look about him that Arthur remembered having when he was that age—wily, shifty, cunning, and stupid.
"Who are you mister?" He asked.
"I've just been sent here to…help you cross over."
"Cross over? You mean like a river or somethin'?"
The young man gave a small smile and then said, "Sort of."
"What do you mean 'sort of'?" Arthur asked.
"Dyin' isn't exactly simple. Unfortunately, it is what the Christians thought it was. Actually it's more along the lines of the Catholics I suppose."
Arthur let out a long sigh.
"The problem is, you have to redeem yourself."
"Mister, I will be the first to say that I need to 'redeem' myself as you put it, but I don't know what the hell you are talking about when it comes to the afterlife being like the 'Catholics'. I don't know a damn thing about the Catholics."
"Well, essentially how it goes is, you have to pass through purgatory—"
"What is purgatory?"
"This will go faster, if you let me explain."
"Ok." Arthur replied.
"Purgatory is this. Purgatory is the proverbial desert. You pass through it, then you get to Hades."
"You mean hell?"
"Yes—again faster if you shut up—and you have to rescue someone from the underworld—which so far no one has ever been able to do."
"Who? Who could possibly need rescuin' from me? Everyone I ever loved is dead or disowned me—hell even the dead ones have disowned me. I am a piss stain in 'God's' world boy."
"I don't know, I was just sent here to give you this message. If you do it, you get paradise everlasting."
"At this point, I would take being alive again over this horseshit."
"That's an option—"
"You know what? I don't even wanna know how that is possible." Arthur replied.
"Ok, your choice."
"Wait are you saying I can be alive again?" Arthur asked.
"That's not what I am saying at all."
"Then why did you say it was a damn option?"
The young man was quiet for a moment, and then said, "Anything is possible if you do this."
Arthur was growing more and more irritated, and he slowly reached to his hip and found an empty holster. Irritated he looked up and the young man was gone.
"What the hell?" He yelled loudly.
"Find her." A voice said in his ear.
"Her?! Who is her?! You dumbass there were a lot of hers!"
There was silence as he looked in each direction for a moment, contemplating his next move. He looked north—what he thought was north—and began walking towards what he believe was a speck of a town in the distance.
"Arthur you dumb shit, you couldn't even just die. You somehow found a way to get yourself involved in some other dumb mess."
As Arthur pressed on he felt no sweat rolling down his face, and his body no longer felt like it was on fire from the TB or from the heat. He felt no pain in his joints, saw no sun damage on his hands and forearms, and he felt as he had as a young man. He ran a hand through his hair and found it it short and manicured, his face was clean shaven and soft. Everything about him had changed, and as he breathed in the sandy air, a small smile was on his face. There was something comforting in knowing that he was somehow good enough to have a soul. However, the question lingered in his mind on whether any of it was real.
As he walked on into the distance, his spurs clanging loudly, his thoughts began to wander to who 'her' actually was. He knew plenty of women who probably were rotting in hell—and plenty he wished were—but he couldn't think of any off the top of his head who were actually rotting there now that he had loved. He reached in his pocket and found a pack of cigarettes, and when he lit one up and took a deep drag—there was no burn on the pull. He scoffed and then chuckled, walking ever into the distance, taking pull after pull on the cigarette.
"Well this part is pretty good. The no pain part." He said and threw the cigarette on the ground.
Arthur stopped, let out a long, angry sigh and then shouted,
"Would be better if I knew where the hell I was and what the hell this is!"
He sat down on the ground and looked ahead of him.
"I don't even know what way north is." he muttered.
He looked down at the ground, and picked at his boots for a long while, until he heard a female voice shouting in the background. Slowly he turned around and saw a woman approaching quickly on horseback. He squinted into the heat and saw a familiar face.
"Renee?"
"Arthur!" She shouted loudly.
"What are you doin' here? How are you dead?"
She slowed the horse beside him and looked behind her quickly then looked down to him. He stood up quickly and put his hand on the horse's bridle.
"That is a long story." She said quickly.
"And you don't got time to tell it?"
"No." She said looking behind her.
"There's nothin' there Renee."
"Yeah there is, it's just hard to see. Get on Arthur."
He looked behind the horse and squinted harder into the heat.
"Is that what I think it is?" He asked.
"Yeah, get your ass on Arthur."
He looked up at her and quickly jumped on the horse, as she quickly nudged the horse into motion.
"Renee?" He asked.
"Yes?"
"Honey, why are a bunch of skeletons chasin' you?"
"That is also a long story." She said as she handed him his gun belt.
He quickly strapped his gun belt on as she pushed the horse harder into the growing distance.
"There's nothin' in any direction Renee."
"Not to you Arthur." She said as they continued to push forward.
"Why do you keep sayin' that?"
"Because this is purgatory, and purgatory is different for everyone Arthur."
They continued to ride until the massive hoard of "skeletons" finally backed off, their angry yellow eyes fading in the distance. Renee pulled back on the reins until the horse slowed to a canter. Ahead in the distance was a small town, similar to Blackwater.
"Is that Blackwater?" He asked.
"Sort of." She replied as they pulled to a stop outside of town.
They sat in silence for a moment as Arthur removed his hat and ran his hands slowly through his hair. Renee's breathing slowed as she hopped off the horse. Arthur slowly came down and gave her a strange look.
"You wanna explain all that mess back there?" He asked.
"Let's just say," she said as she pulled some things out of the saddlebag, "I went somewhere I wasn't supposed to go."
"Renee." He said, trying to get her to look at him.
"Yes Arthur?"
"Honey, how did you die?" He asked.
She was quiet for a moment as she handed him the reins. She hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Some guy beat the crap out of me in Saint Denis. Bad John was all."
Arthur's hands clenched on the reins as he let out an angry sigh.
"Damnit Renee, I told you to get outta there."
"I know you did Arthur, but you know being a woman is a little different than being a man out in that world."
"Why didn't you just come with me when I asked you to?"
"You were sick Arthur."
"That's why I asked!" He shouted.
"No, you asked me to run away with you."
He shook his head as she pulled two bedrolls off the back of the horse's saddle. Quickly, he tied the horse onto a nearby tree and gently took her arm and led her towards him. She was just as beautiful as he remembered. Short copper hair, green eyes, and milky ivory skin. He remembered how much she used to burn in the sun when he would take her out of Saint Denis, away from the saloon, hunting or fishing. She was the only woman he had ever known that enjoyed hunting alligators. His time at Clemens Point had been greatly enhanced by her presence, and when he found out he was sick, she was the first one that knew.
"I asked you that, because I was fallin' in love with you. I wanted to spend the last days of my life with you."
She looked up at him, and ran her fingers through his hair slowly. He slowly reached for her hand and kissed it softly as she sighed.
"Oh Arthur." She said softly.
"If you could explain all this mess to me that would be greatly appreciated." He said softly.
She let out a small chuckle as he smiled and then leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. He softly pressed his forehead against her's and closed his eyes. His breath was sharp as a long moment passed between them. He smelled as she remembered, leather, sweat, and too much cologne. She leaned in and hugged him, a tear rolling down her face as his eyes watered up as well.
"I missed you." He said softly.
She nodded into his chest as he pulled her closer to him and rested his head on her's. He closed his eyes as her perfume entered his nose, intoxicating him.
"I missed you too." She replied.
Tears rolled down his face as they stood there, the night sky rolling over above them. He looked up and saw a million stars overhead as a tear rolled down his face, his hands holding her against him firmly. The rest of the world disappeared as they held that embrace for that moment. In that one moment, he knew that whatever this life was he was in now would never be the same again. He slowly pulled back and looked down at her, and softly wiped the tears from her face.
"Honey don't cry, I ain't that special. If I was competing' in an ugly contest, I would be winnin'."
She let out a small laugh as he smiled and then said, "We should set up camp."
"Yeah." She replied as he pulled the rest of the supplies out.
"So, you wanna explain this crazy ass place to me?" He asked as he began pitching the tent.
"I got the same introduction as you. It's purgatory." She replied.
He nodded and then asked, "What exactly is it then?"
"It's everything and nothing."
He sighed and then said, "Well that don't make a lick of sense."
"I'm just telling you what that kid told me." She said.
"Wait a second, the same fellar that I saw, you saw him too?"
"Everyone sees him." She replied as she began setting up the campfire.
"So how exactly do you get outta here?" He asked.
She passed him some crackers and settled down by the fire.
"Past this town."
"Then what?" he asked.
"Then the underworld." She replied.
"You mean hell?"
"Yeah, more or less."
"Is it fire and brimstone? Or more like sin and gluttony?"
"Not really like either one of those, it's really your worst nightmare, depending on how low you go." She said.
They ate in silence as he stared into the fire.
"Everyone has to go through it?" He asked.
"Yeah."
"Did you go through it?" He asked.
"More or less."
"Why are all of you talkin' in code?"
She sighed and handed him a pack of cigarettes. He took one and lit it.
"It's not code, it's just different for everyone."
He was silent as he took a long drag off the cigarette and watched her light one.
"Is it me, or is this place worse than bein' alive?"
She shrugged and then said, "Being alive wasn't all that great for me."
"About the same here." He replied.
They sat in silence as Arthur looked over at her.
"Is there somethin' you ain't tellin' me?" He asked.
She shook her head no and looked over at him, "It's pretty much that simple, we have to journey through hell proper to get to heaven."
"And you were sent here to help me then?"
"Yeah." She replied.
"Why you? Of all the women I wronged, why you?"
"Maybe because you never wronged me. I wronged you."
He was quiet for a moment as he looked into the flames and then said, "You never wronged me. I know why you didn't come with me."
She peered over at him, "Why?"
"You knew what I was, and even if I was dyin' it wasn't never gonna change."
She scoffed as he lit up another cigarette. She then exhaled deeply and said, "I didn't go with you, because I couldn't watch you die Arthur. I wanted to remember you like this."
He exhaled slowly, the smoke wisping through the fire, his eyes lost in the flames.
"It was completely selfish." She replied.
"No, it wasn't. It was way too much to ask of you." He said as then took another long drag.
"No one wants to be alone when they die." She said as she took his hand.
He nodded as he slowly kissed it.
"Were you alone?" She asked.
"Yeah."
She nodded and then said, "I was too."
—
Arthur sat in silence on the end of the bed as he waited for her. She was due into work at any time, and after his trip to the doctor down the street, he knew that he had to tell her before he left for good. He wanted nothing more than to leave, and take her with him. Spend the last days of his life in her arms. The very smell of her was what he missed. She always smelled like perfume, a rich beautiful citrus smell. It was like no perfume he had ever smelt on a woman. She was always faintly dusted in it, not over sprayed in it like the other girls. She also wasn't anything like the other girls.
"Hey there big boy—" she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling.
"Hey." He said softly.
"Arthur."
Quickly she closed the door behind her, and stood there for a moment.
"What's going on?" She asked.
He looked down at the ground nervously, his hands clasped together firmly. She quickly hit the floor beside him, her knees hitting hard through her long Burgundy gown.
"Arthur?"
"Renee, I've got TB." He said quietly.
She looked panicked as she watched tears slowly roll down his eyes. She put her hands on his and then wiped the tears off his face. She sent him a pained look as he looked off to the side, his eyes red. She wiped his face and then said,
"Oh Arthur."
"I didn't know what to do, so I walked around town for a while. Then I got freshened up and figured I would come and tell you before I left."
She smiled as he sniffed and then coughed loudly into a handkerchief he pulled out of his pocket quickly. Slowly her hand moved on his head and she could feel he was warmer.
"You freshened up?" She asked.
"Yeah, went and got my hair cut and everything. Didn't know what the hell else to do."
She let out a small laugh as he smiled and cleared his throat. Slowly she rubbed his back and then said, "How did you find out?"
"Embarrassed myself. Passed out on the sidewalk. Some fellar drug me to the doctor, even gave me $10.00 to help with the cost of seein' him. Doc gave me a shot of something. Even gave me a chocolate bar."
She smiled as he pulled out a small chocolate bar and put it in her hands.
"No you should keep this." She said.
He looked into her eyes and then said, "I was hopin' it would convince you to run off with me."
The smile faded from her eyes and she knew what he was asking. She also knew there was no way it was possible.
"But what about Dutch and your friends?" She asked.
"I'm in a gang Renee. They ain't my friends."
"But you love Dutch Arthur."
"It was Dutch that hired that damn German, who sent me off to collect some lousy debt from the guy that coughed on me and gave me this!" He shouted.
She felt him quivering as he coughed into the handkerchief again.
"I'm sorry." He said softly.
"No it's ok."
"I just hope I didn't give it to you." He said.
"I don't know." She replied, the mortality of her profession hitting her.
"If I did I am sorry."
She was quiet as she put the chocolate bar he had given her on the night table beside them.
"Arthur, I think you might be the only man since my husband that I have loved."
He gave a short laugh and then said, "You are the first woman since Eliza. I was hopin' after we was done runnin' that I could make an honest woman of you and an honest man of me. Somehow though I don't think that could ever happen, choices we made."
She smiled and then said, "You made me honest Arthur."
"How so?"
"Whenever you would pay me, I would always put it back in your wallet."
He laughed as she smiled and then said, "I loved bein' with you, still do."
He coughed again as she ran a couple of fingers along his hair. She wanted to run away with him so badly, but the prospect of being with a dying man was more than she could handle. The push and pull of love was something she had never had to deal with in this profession. Nothing about her life had turned out the way it was supposed to. Her husband had died and left her penniless. She had turned to her profession to get by and still be able to stay away from the dangers of the world beyond the city. It was all she had known. When Arthur entered her space, it was if the wild suddenly became new and exciting. His sense of humor, his rugged looks, his sinewy body—everything about him was forbidden and exciting. One night she had read his journal when he was asleep and putting the money back in his wallet. That was when she fell in love with him. She discovered amongst the scribblings and drawings, a portrait of her—lovingly sketched with the words 'I think I am in love with this woman, and that is a daunting thought indeed'.
She often hoped for him to return, and when the days went by she would grow restless and agitated. Sex was sex with other men, but sex with Arthur was making love. He didn't make a lot of noise, he was quiet and let her make as much noise as she wanted. But often, she would make small noises with him in tandem, enjoying the fragrance of his body, the roughness of his motions, the feel of his rough skin. He would entertain her different positions, and over the past few months she had bought a tattered old book from the store down the street full of different positions on love making. One involved him coming up behind her as they sat together, her back to his chest or the other variation, where she wrapped her legs around him as they moved together. Sex wasn't a chore with Arthur, it was exciting and new.
"Renee?" He asked.
She snapped back to reality, and looked at him.
"Do you wanna come with me?"
She envisioned in her head what would happen if she went with him. He would get sicker and sicker. His body would slowly be eaten away by the consumption until there was nothing of "Arthur" left. Then it would still take it's time taking him from her. But she couldn't leave him. But she couldn't stay either.
"I can't." She said, and then burst into tears. He took her into his arms as she cried, softly soothing her as he pressed his face against her head. He pulled her up from the floor as she held him intensely. She looked up at him and tried to kiss him before he stopped her.
"Renee, don't." He said.
"I don't care." She said softly.
"I'm ain't givin' this to you Renee."
"It doesn't matter anymore Arthur, we had sex after you had it."
He pulled back a bit and then said, "I love you too much to give you this. You have life left in you honey. I want you to have one."
Her face crumpled as he took her in his arms again. He could feel the tears on his chest as she cried.
"Don't leave me here alone." She said softly.
He snapped back to reality and pulled her back and looked at her intensely, "I'm not ever gonna leave you. I will always be with you."
—
Arthur woke up to the sounds of birds chirping in the distance. He looked over at the tent and saw Renee sleeping peacefully. He slowly rose up from the bedroll he had laid beside the fire and threw a few more sticks on it to keep the embers going. Quickly he picked up his gun belt and headed over towards a small patch of desert. Slowly he roamed and killed wild game, his mind lost in his thought. He couldn't stop thinking about that conversation that day, and how he had wished he had not listened to her.
"I shoulda just taken her with me." He said as he looked down at a rabbit he had just killed. As he headed back to camp he saw her moving about the fire, preparing a pot of coffee.
"So, we still drinkin' coffee, even though we dead?" He asked as he approached and dropped a few small dead animals by the fire.
She smiled and handed him a cup. They sat in silence as she looked over at him, slowly roasting game over the fire on his knife.
"Where did you find my gear?" He asked.
"It appeared right before you showed up." She said.
"This place is strange." He said as he handed her the knife.
She nodded and slowly ate the rabbit, as he picked at his boot again.
"I want to apologize to you." She said as she handed back the knife to him.
"What for?" He asked.
"That day when you told me you were sick, I should have gone with you."
He finished off what was left and then looked over at her, "I don't blame you for not."
She nodded as they sat awkwardly, a strange tension between them that had never existed before. He wasn't sure if she was even real, and she wasn't sure if they would be able to pull this off.
"I know what you were sent to do." She said.
"Yeah I have to rescue someone from hell or some crazy shit." He replied.
"It's Eliza."
He looked up at her and then asked, "Why her?"
"I don't know, I don't make the rules."
"Then who is makin' them Renee?"
"I don't know!" She said.
Arthur was lost in thought as she quickly got up and went walking towards town. He thought about Eliza, and how he had found out about her death. Every single woman he met always seemed to be inaccessible to him. He would love someone hard, fast, and true just like everyone wanted—but in the end he never got a single woman to come with him. Renee had been the first one he had slept with since Eliza and Isaac had died. Issac. The whole thing was overwhelming, thinking about it again.
"Renee?"
He got up and saw her walking into the saloon across the way.
"Where you going woman?" He shouted as he caught up to her.
"I'm going to have a drink." She said and jerked her arm away from him.
He sighed and walked in behind her, and was abruptly introduced to the strangest act of characters he had ever seen. There was that mutant he had found over in Lemoyne, the naked wolf man he had killed near Roanoke Ridge. Every weird and crazy place he had visited in life had somehow found it's way into the bar. The oddest thing he noticed were a couple of skeletons with light blue glowing eyes sitting at the bar. Renee walked up to the bartender, who was the man he had shot and killed for the shotgun in Roanoke Ridge.
He cleared his throat as he joined her and the man returned a nasty glare his way.
"We'll have two beers." She said as Arthur leaned up against the bar with her.
"Why did you run off?" He asked.
"Because I am jealous I guess." She replied.
He looked around as she stared at him.
"Ok I am sorry honey, but this place is weird."
"What are you talking about?" She asked quickly.
"First of all there is some kind of mutant animal having a shot of whiskey by the damn piano. Then there is a naked man with him having a drink. It's as if every strange person I ever ran into during my travels is in this bar."
"What are you talking about?"
"Whatchu mean?" He asked.
"They are people Arthur."
"No Renee, they are strange looking people."
"Clearly we are seeing two different things." She said.
"Like over there is the guy I found in the—swamp…" He said, his voice trailing off.
"Arthur?" She asked as his eyes went black.
"That man over there…" he said and then took a deep breath.
"That man where?!" She asked loudly.
"That man accosted me in the middle of the swamp, robbed me, and left me with my ass in the air two miles away from his house!"
Renee was silent as the music abruptly stopped.
"What?" She asked loudly.
Arthur's body shook as he pointed at the man across the room.
"Hey friend." The man said and waved.
She felt Arthur charge forward like a bull, but couldn't have predicted how angry he was about to get as she hung onto his arm for a split second before he shook her off and began beating the man senseless.
"Arthur!" She shouted as she pulled him off the man on the floor.
"He did things to me that were just goddamn indecent!" Arthur shouted.
"Arthur!" She shouted again as the black rolled out of his eyes. He looked over at her as two sheriff deputies appeared in the door, wearing Lemoyne raider outfits.
"What the hell is going on?!" He shouted.
"Arthur be quiet." She said as she pulled his arm.
"Why, what are you seein'?" he asked.
"Remember what I was runnin' from before?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Run." She said softly.
They quickly turned and ran out the back exit and as Renee quickly grabbed the camping gear and flung it on the back, Arthur jumped on the horse and took the reins. Quickly she jumped on the back as he shouted "Ya!"
The horse took off as the two Raiders/Skeletons ran after them.
"What the hell is wrong with this damn place?!" He shouted as she flipped around and fired two shots and he saw out of the corner of his eye, the two raiders fall to the ground and disappear.
"You keep asking that like I have some kind of answer!" She shouted back.
"Well you have clearly been dead longer than me Renee!" He shouted.
"That is definitely not true, I died after you!"
"Let's not split hairs over—what?" He asked as they continued down the trail.
"I died after you Arthur."
He slowly brought the horse to a stop.
"That don't make any damn sense Renee!"
"I know!" She replied.
She sighed and rested her head on his back for a long moment and then said, "Just head towards Lemoyne Arthur."
"Lemoyne? What is Lemoyne, hell?" He asked.
"Yes." She replied.
"Well ain't that fittin'."
They rode through the desert sun, as Arthur put on his hat and focused off into the distance. He could see a small sign out quite aways and figured it would make sense to just keep heading that way. The sky looked darker down at that end, and as they kept riding, even the color of it began to change. He could hear her breathing on his back as they rode forward.
"Makes sense I would go to hell honestly." He muttered to himself.
"I don't see why." She said softly and lifted her head off his back.
"You only seen the good side of me." He replied.
"I know what you are."
"Yeah a damn crook."
"No, a good man."
"How do you reckon that?" He asked as the sky grew darker.
"The sum of a man isn't measured by what he had to do to survive. It's measured by his actions when he wasn't pressured to survive."
Arthur scoffed and then said, "The world is an unforgiving place Renee, and so is the otherworld apparently."
"How do you account for that?" She asked.
"Well I figured it was when I saw that bar of sins I just walked into." He said.
She was quiet for a moment and then asked, "What did that man do to you Arthur?"
He stopped the horse abruptly and then said, "I do not want to talk about that Renee."
She laughed to herself as they began to move forward again.
"Had to be a reason he was there—" she began.
"Renee!" He shouted as she laughed.
He gripped the reins tighter and then suddenly reared the horse back, causing her to fall off rapidly down onto the ground. She laughed as he trotted over and looked down at her.
"You could have killed me." She said as she slowly stood up.
"Honey you are already dead." He snarled.
She smiled and looked into his eyes for a moment and then kissed him. He was taken aback and then closed his eyes and softly kissed her back, his tongue slowly entering her mouth.
"Oh none of that!" She said loudly as he pulled her onto the horse and sat her in front of him.
He smiled and held her close with his free hand as they grew closer to the Lemoyne sign. He smelled her hair, that same inviting perfume he loved so much. She quickly flipped around and kissed him again, this time putting her tongue deep into his mouth. Her breath was hot as he returned the kiss and kept one eye open as the horse plodded on.
"Maybe we should stop?" He asked.
She looked over her shoulder the night sky above them, the Lemoyne sign now readable in the distance. She knew what was beyond that sign much more than he did. He looked over towards it and remembered his own encounters with Lemoyne.
"Let's keep going, we can stop at the tavern once we cross the border…well it's not really a tavern as much as it is a brothel."