Dear humans;
You may know me as the Prince of Darkness, King of Hell, Old Scratch, and that guy who was played by Al Pacino in that one movie. Well, it's me, Satan, and I just want to say one thing:
You humans are frightening.
You kill, rape, and commit genocide against each other( not exactly in that order.) but you want to blame me. I don't make you do anything, you do it yourself. Stop blaming me every time you cheat on your spouse or steal from your employer's cash register.
Adolf Hitler didn't kill a bunch of people because of me. He committed these crimes because he was a hateful bigot. Same way with Stalin, Pol Pot, and Andrew Jackson. You are just like them. You have the same capacity to commit acts just like them.
Human beings have a way of externalizing evil, when they should be internalizing evil. Evil is an internal thing.
So from now on, please stop blaming me for whenever you do something dickish.
Sincerely,
Satan, Prince of Darkness