'Ello loves. Yes, I know it has been forever since I've written anything, and I apologize. I was super super busy with school work and the like. However, this story has a theme that hits close to home. My boyfriend and I just broke up the other day. No, it wasn't anything sad or tragic. We sort of mutually decided to , anything that is said in this story is something that at one point in the relationship I was subconciously thinking to myself, which was obviously quite stupid.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
No.
He looked at her, bright blue eyes shining in the sun as he flashed his pearly white teeth. He was almost like a puppy, in a way. He, as had been demonstrated many times, had that relentless "never give up" attitude. Couple that with the fact that he followed her around everywhere, and how he looked so lost when she put him down, and you see why she sees him as puppyish. So, he became just that in her eyes. A little lost puppy that needed someone to pet him, and someone he could love.
She had finally decided to give him a try. He was decent looking, and getting stronger every day. Soon enough he would be a figure to look up to, and she would be at his side. Because out of all the girls that hyperactive Naruto, destined for greatness, could choose, he chose her. And she should feel honored by that, right?
She liked him of course. Why else would she have said no? She liked him. She maybe even loved him. He was a very nice boy. He always showed up promptly for their dates, never did anything out of line, and never wanted anything more than to be loved by her, and her alone.
But as she walked through the village, tongue lapping at the ice cream in her hand, she studied her newly found boyfriend. Their first date. He had never even kissed her. He was holding her hand and blushing slightly, talking about everything and everything. What a typical Naruto thing to do. And he was her boyfriend. And she was happy. She was fine. He loved her. She was fine.
Wasn't she?
No.
She smiled at the mirror, making the finishing touches to her makeup. She was ready for tonight. She was beautiful. And it was all for Naruto, the one man that would always be there for her. Her boyfriend. She loved her boyfriend. He was amazing. She loved him.
She heard a knock at the door, and throwing one last glance at the reflection, headed down to the living room to answer it. It wasn't often a kunoichi got to look her best. And she did look pretty good. Rosy read lips to match her rosy red cheeks, dark mascara to hide the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. With the fiery red dress Ino picked out, it was perfect. She was perfect. They were perfect.
She opened the door to see her new love looking dashing in a suit and bowtie. No obnoxious orange, no pranks, but a plain black suit, white shirt, and a red flower, matching her dress perfectly. It sort of resembled their relationship that way. In its perfection. Because they were perfect. They were in love. They were great together. They were fine.
Weren't they?
No.
They arrived at the ball, hand in hand. And for a split second in her subconscious, she was embarrassed. Would people laugh at her for holding his hand? Would they think her stupid or just plain desperate for arriving with a being such as him? She would have pointed and whispered the same thing at Hinata, not too long before. Should she let go?
She was about to untangle her hand, and then stopped. She felt guilty. Naruto was her boyfriend. She didn't feel guilty for holding his hand. She was unashamed of their love. She was great. They were great. She would keep her hand in his. Because they were in love of course.
She watched the lights in his eyes as he surveyed the dance floor. He was excited to be there. To be there with her. And so she was excited as well. To be there with her boyfriend. The one that she loved. Because they were a couple. And they should be romantic.
She spotted Ino and went over to talk to her, slightly annoyed by the man following her, still keeping her hand captive. Couldn't she ever talk to Ino alone anymore? She needed some good gossip! Would she never be alone with Ino ever again? When they got married eventually she would ask him for her space. Just not now, she didn't want to offend him.
When she got over to Ino, she quickly retracted her hand. She was scared of what Ino would think, watching her and Naruto strolling everywhere, hand in hand like they were in love or something. Oh right, they were. Oh well.
She watched in the corner of her eye as Naruto looked around, not looking quite comfortable but not wanting to leave her side in case he was needed. And then he was staring at her face, studying. And then he was staring at her hand. Did he want to know why she had pulled it away? She felt slightly guilty. But what if he wanted to hold it again?
She slipped her hand in her pocket. There. Now it was impossible. And he wouldn't feel bad. And it was completely normal. If a girl doesn't want to hold a boy's hand, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. They were still in love. They were still fine.
This was normal, wasn't it?
No.
She leaned her head on his shoulder as they danced, swaying slowly to the rhythm. Because that's what people do when they're in love. She had seen it in all the movies. However, she was getting a crick in her neck, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with her. This was awkward. And uncomfortable. Maybe they just shouldn't dance.
The song ended, and she took her head off of his shoulder and sadly smiled at him. Well that was a waste of a good dance song. Well, not really, she amended. Because she was with her soul mate on the dance floor. It was foreshadowing the beginning of the rest of forever.
But did she really want him forever? She told him she wanted to get a glass of water. He offered to get it for her. She refused, said they could go get it together. He reached for her hand. She let him hold it. No sparks flew, no feelings arose in the pit of her stomach. But that's okay, she thought. She was just too tired. She wasn't in the mood for this stuff. Feelings would return with caffeine. She looked at the bracelet he had given her, which once filled her with girlish delight. They were fine. They were fine. It became a chant in her head.
Was this even worth it?
No.
He walked her home. Like any gentleman should, she supposed. He was perfect. They were perfect. They held hands and laughed, now that the pressures of society were gone. No eyes could see them. But as he put his arms around her waist, her laughing eventually started to cease. She felt nothing.
They arrived on her doorstep. Each of them knew what was to come, but neither of them voiced the thought. It was the dreaded first kiss. She was nervous and terrified. She unlocked the door, and opened it, flicking the lights on inside so she could see the contents of her home. She didn't really want him to come in.
He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Then his face became serious, and he leaned in, eyes closed, lips slightly puckered. He was coming closer… and closer… and closer…
Was this okay?
Nononononononononononono.
All she could think about was the prospect of Naruto's lips on hers. She didn't want them there, they didn't belong there. He could not have her lips. And then she thought of Sasuke Sasuke Sasuke. This was not what she wanted. This was not the way it was supposed to be.
"NO!"
She shoved him back as she jumped backwards and covered her mouth, shaking her head wildly. Her loving boyfriend looked on in shock as she shakily ran into the house and slammed the door. His mouth hung agape for a moment, and then he sat on her porch steps, sinking his head into his hands. He had known it would happen, he must have.
She was panting as she turned around dizzily. Her back hit the door and she slid to the ground, sobbing her heart out. She didn't want this to happen. They were in love, they were a couple. They did couple-like things. Couples kissed, so she and Naruto could too. She had half a mind to go back out there and demand that he kiss her, just to prove it to herself. To prove that she was in love.
But then she realized. She could not go back out there. She would never go back to the way they were. Because she didn't love him. She didn't know if she had ever had. And one day he would get over her, and she would cheer. Because she didn't deserve him, and he wasn't the one. He wasn't her soul mate.
He may be mad at her for a while, but one day he would thank her. He would be a happy Hokage, with beautiful kids and a gorgeous and more-deserving wife. Perhaps one with white eyes would do him well. And she would be on the sidelines, her heart still in pieces from a former love.
Were they fine?
No.
But they could be friends, couldn't they?
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