Title: Falling Into The Light
Author: Rothalion
Rating: K for caution
Summary: A prequel of sorts Auron refusing the hand of the high priest's daughter and the punishment he receives prior to leaving on the Pilgrimage.
A one shot maybe a bit plot less.
Review to:
Warnings: Implied Braska Auron relationship
Disclaimer: Everybody belongs to Square except Dargil, Javig, Legeron and Sajik
Auron made his way to the temple through the gloomy half-light of the Beville morning. The coolness of the night had brought a rainstorm in from the sea and the air smelled of lamp oil, damp dirt, Jasmine and salt. He perfunctorily, absent of any real consideration, returned the salutes of passing crusaders and lower ranking monks as he walked doubting if any of them noticed or cared that his salute lacked its normal snap. Midway to his destination, he halted abruptly when a stern voice rang out.
"You sir!"
Turning he faced purple clad man who had spoken, his brown eyes locking on the steely gray of the older warrior before dropping to a kneeling position, left knee and fist on the ground, right knee bent, right hand on his sword behind his back, eyes downward, the proper salute for an upper echelon Warrior Monk.
"You call that a proper salute to one who out ranks you? Though I am not from Beville, I know that you are Sir Auron and I would think that you of all men would have a bit more care with his etiquette. Speak up boy, what sad excuse will you offer for this slight?"
"None, Lord. I was, I am distracted." It took no effort for the instinctual respect drilled into him since childhood to take over and his deep baritone voice while strong was replete with contriteness. "I offer to my esteemed Lord my sincerest apologies and accept any punishment he chooses to administer under the eyes of Yevon."
"Yes, yes and to all the men who have received such a slovenly show of respect in return for theirs thus far this dawn?"
"I would proffer the same to them as well if I could, Lord."
"Distraction will get you and your men killed in battle son! Distraction is the bane of all warriors. You were taught this were you not?"
"Yes, Lord"
"Lack of focus, thoughts for ones self, loss of control, fear, love all these are weaknesses we ripped with brute force and with meditation from the imperfect, weak, hollow being you were when you entered the temple! Have you forgotten?"
"No, Lord."
"You may have risen quite high in this order Auron but never forget your true station! Many others and I rank far, far above you. Many others and I weave the pattern that is the fabric of your very existence. It is this upper class of men who also wield the weapons to unravel that fabric! We control your very existence. Have you forgotten that as well?"
"No, Lord."
"Rumor has it that you have done just that, boy. I am aware that Girian grooms you not only for Second but for son in law as well. Rumor also has it that you have indeed denied your true station for a selfish desire. Should that be the case then Yevon help us for we stand to loose a fine comrade and superb swordsman. Think well upon my words and remember your teachings! I fear that you will need them! Salute me properly, heed my warning and be on your way!"
Once on his way again Auron tried to focus on the training schedule for the day, but despite Braska's encouraging words from the night before he could not ease the dread that filled his heart, or quiet the bitter memory of the pain he had endured at the High Priest's hand. Unwillingly he replayed the events of his meeting with Girian once again in his troubled mind.
"No my Lord with my sincerest apologies I can not take the hand of your fine daughter. I am a sworn Warrior Monk, I took and hold dear my vows of celibacy and devout loyalty to ridding Spira of Sin, I have become Guardian to the High Summoner Lord Braska and have pledged…"
"Rubbish! All of that is subject to change, vows, oaths, and devoutness. That Al Bhed loving priest will find himself another Guardian! He is unworthy of his title anyway. He defiled his oaths when he took that heathen for a wife. No other Aeons will bond with such a one as that! You both delude yourselves with pitiful and false hope! I on the other hand do have concrete and viable plans for you, have always had plans for you and your so called 'devotion' to Braska and your celibacy drivel will not thwart them any more than you will with such self centered insolence!"
"I will see my Lord Braska through to Zanarakand. I will make no woman wife, widow or vessel of my base desires. Your words and threats fall upon ears that hear only the call of the duty to my Summoner, and the vows I suffered for, the vows, that despite my Lord Girian's disparaging contempt for, I do cherish."
For a long moment, Girian had sat in stunned silence. Then he stood crossed to Auron and slapped him with surprising force across both cheeks his grizzled sword hardened knuckles and palm drawing blood from the unflinching monks lips.
"You disgrace this order. You disgrace and dishonor my loyalty to you. I brought you to your place of stature, Auron! I smoothed the way for you when your bull headedness and temper threatened to have you cast out into the streets of Beville a pauper. Me! Me because of your friendship with Kinoc! You are as near a son to me as he is! You owe me!"
"I owe no one Lord! I suffered the trials of my training and would have readily accepted my fate as I told you on each occasion of your interventions. I owe my place in the order to my will to become the man I am. The man I choose to be!"
"You would refute my opinion! You, you lowly worm. By Yevon's hand you will be punished for your self indulging decision! By Yevon's almighty punishing hand and you will will beg, Auron, beg for Sin itself to come and rid you of your sorrowful life, to end your shame and pain! This meeting is over, your life is over!"
Auron dropped to his knee and bowed his head as was required. Girian's robe brushed against the side of his face as the angry man stormed past him. It was a gentle caress, like wind on a damp spring morning, the warrior remained perfectly still though despite the tingle that skittered down his spine. It would be that last gentle sensation Auron would feel for a long time. At the door the High Priest paused, snorted in disgust and with barley a flicker of his wrist cast multiple pain spells upon the prone warrior monk. A fellow priest called for Girian to halt Auron's agony but the plea went unheeded and Auron continued to writhe in pain.
He returned home well into the night Girian's punishment having lasted far past the supper bell leaving Auron unconscious until after the third guard shift. Weak, disheveled and very near dropping from exhaustion, he retold the tale to Braska and succumbed reluctantly to the kind Summoner's ministrations to heal him. Braska healed his guardian's body but no words seemed able to ease the man's mind.
The guard came for him at the training hall just before the bell for the mid-day meal. Girian must have thought that Auron would resist because he sent six warrior monks instead of the Crusaders with Kinoc in charge of the squad.
"Auron, please step from the training floor." Kinoc ordered his voice stern.
Auron did so and a hush fell across the room as he faced Kinoc.
"So you have come. I have been waiting." No hint of fear tinged the warrior's voice.
"Yes, my father has determined your punishment."
"And…"
"I am sorry, I can not say. I was sent only to bring you to the Great Hall."
"Did you think I would resist, Kinoc?" Auron asked, nodding to the six warriors, sarcasm now coloring his tone.
"No, my father…"
"What your father is doing is wrong Kinoc; you know this to be the truth."
"What would you have me do, Auron?" The man hissed spreading his hands palms up in defeat.
At that Auron laughed acidly and shook his head. While he had worked, clawed, and prayed his way to the higher levels of the order it was no secret between the two friends that Kinoc had never hesitated to grasp hold of any situation to ease his ascension through the ranks. The power hungry acolyte passed by no advantage even at the risk of tarnishing his honor or taking a fellow acolyte down to achieve his end. Vows and oaths meant just as little to Kinoc as they did, to the High Priest Girian, his father. They were simply a sugar coating, a grand illusion that made the order look more holy than it truly was, another layer insulating the warrior monk class from the common people.
"I do not know, Kinoc. The right thing, the right thing for once in your life." He turned and walked away toward the hall with long confident strides the squad and Kinoc following.
Kinoc caught him up and grabbed his broad shoulder spinning the taller man roughly around.
"Auron, you stubborn fool!" He spat in an angry whisper. Then snapping at the squad, "Back off all of you!" The guard stepped away from the two life long companions. "You can still change your mind, man! He is going to give you that option, to reconsider your lack of obedience. To make amends for your insult and do what is right for the order, for Spira, for you my friend! Do not throw your life away so easily over oaths and vows that mean nothing to all but a handful of men. How many Auron, how many of us can you name that feel as strongly as you do, that actually keep the oaths of our office. How many even refuse the oath of celibacy or if they take it break it? How many? Marry her! Get my father a grandchild and I will see to it that you are posted away. Far away. Dojse maybe you love it there! She is young it will not take many couplings, your oath be damned! It is your life I fear for!"
"I have made my choice Kinoc. I am a monk a Warrior Monk sworn to uphold the laws of Yevon, and now further sworn to be Guardian to my Lord Braska…"
"Your Lord! My Yevonite ass, your Lord! Anyone with a set of eyes in his head can see that the man is more to you than your Lord, your Summoner! Your oaths!" Kinoc snorted and shook his head. "You shatter that oath if you follow that heathen lover! You defile your beliefs every time you lust…"
"Be careful Kinoc you…"
"Me have a care! You my friend despite your seemingly blind devotion to Yevon have misplaced your ideals. You my friend have allowed love and unholy desires to cloud your judgment. You forget Auron, I know you so well! I may know you better than you know yourself. I have heard you…"
"Enough! I will not…"
"You will hear me!" Kinoc screamed grabbing the bigger man by the neck of his breastplate and pulling him within an inch of his face. He lowered his voice to a wrathful hiss. "I have heard you dreaming of him. I have heard your dream desires, I know what truly lies in your oh so devout heart, Auron. Maybe that treasonous priest has opened his heart to such base desires, become twisted by his companionship with those Al Bhed beasts, but you…I can not believe you would even let such blasphemous thoughts even itch at the edge of your pious mind! Do not let this perverse desire destroy you as it destroyed Javig. Remember Javig Auron? Remember you and Javig? You survived the punishment mighty Auron but poor Javig…" Kinoc pushed Auron away and shook his head, "Javig died for the sins of both of you. I know what is in your heart. For Yevon's sake, do not let it kill you too. Set love aside. Recant, take his offer! I tried he will not see any other solution! What good is your love for Braska if you are in the Farplane?"
Auron drew a shuddering breath the impact of Kinoc's words had unnerved him. He had fought a bitter battle with himself over his feelings for Braska, a battle that had nearly driven him to end his life rather then admit his feelings, a battle that had rekindled his deep seated guilt over the death of his long dead best friend Javig. Despite knowing the young man's death had more to do with politics then a slip of control between two young men, the reawakened guilt over the incident had threatened to destroy him again. The memory of the brief period of experimentation with Javig had awakened his feelings for Braska and brought him closer than he had ever come to breaking his vows. Only the Priest's counseling and unconditional love for the confused warrior had dragged him back from the edge of disaster. Yes, Kinoc did know what lurked in his great heart, but Kinoc underestimated the true depth of his love for the Summoner.
"Then let The High Priest have his way. So be it!" And again, he turned and strode defiantly toward his fate.
Again, Kinoc spun him round and with all traces of anger or accusation gone from his voice, "I have sent word to Maester Mika. Maybe he can stop this if he receives word in time."
"Kinoc you take a great risk!"
"I do not wish to watch you die my friend."
"I will not die all that easily Kinoc. You know me better than that."
They turned and walked side by side and after a time Kinoc broke the silence voicing his gravest fear.
"The Via Auron, what if it is the Via? Purification be damned its certain death. No one has ever…"
Auron shrugged, "Kinoc I will be fine."
Outside the entry to the Great Hall Kinoc spoke once more. "My friend, even if you do not, I do fear the wrath of my father and the others. So if this does not go well…" He embraced Auron tightly and Auron reciprocated the gesture.
"Thank you Kinoc, for everything. Luck to you always. Now let's discover the fate of this wayward monk."