Why did this have to happen to me?
What kind of idiot would do this?
I will never be able to forgive myself,
For breaking his heart.
"We are here tonight at the MTV Video Music Awards in New York City, where we have so many famous artists here tonight with us."
"Like who Leah?"
"Well we have some famous bands like Paramore, Good charlotte and Tokio hotel, and some awesome singers like Beyonce, Rihanna and Justin Timberlake."
"I heard that we have a newcomer tonight, she is from Canada and she is nominated for best new artist! She is also a famous actress and she discovered her career for singing just 6 months ago and she is topping the charts with her new album! Its Avery Grace! "
"And here is her car right now!"
I could see the flashing camera's everywhere, waiting for my arrival. I never imagined I would be here. I never imagined my life being as great as it was. I was a 20-year-old actress/singer who was traveling the world; I have everything I could ever want and more. Tonight was the MTV video music awards, my first ever music award show, I was nominated for Best New Artist, this was going to be a great night. I stepped out of the car and walked onto the red carpet. I was wearing a silver dress with silver stilettos; my long blonde hair was down and teased and I looked great. People in the crowds were shouting my name as I walked over to them to sign some autographs.
"Avery! Do you think you will win the Best New Artist award tonight? Are you confident?" the interviewer asked me.
"Well I really do hope for the best and it would be great if I won, because I am nominated with so many other great artists so it would be an honor."
I walked down the red carpet for about an hour posing for the camera and doing interviews. All the same questions were asked, about my nomination, my career and my love life.
"Avery! Are you single at the moment?"
I ignore that question every time I'm asked. Being alone hurt me. I didn't like the fact that I was single, because I still wanted a boyfriend even though I had everything else.
The posing and interviews were tiring after the first hour and then I finally got to go backstage to change.
"Avery, you have to be ready in the next 20 minutes, the show is starting soon" Anna said
Anna was part of my management; she is with me everyday 24/7. I have my bodyguards with me everyday as well.
"What are you going to wear?" asked Erica
Erica has been my best friend since we were little, I take her everywhere with me and she comes with me to all of my gigs and all the set for my movies, she truly is my best friend.
"Probably this" I said
I slipped on a new black strapless mini dress and some black heels, added a necklace and some bracelets and fixed my hair. It was extremely hot outside where the red carpet was and I was burning up, but not just because of the heat. I wanted this award, more than anything in the world right now. I need it, I just want to hold it in my hands and feel the honor of being the best new artist. I never new that my single would reach the top of the charts or even get on the charts, my album sold out everywhere, I deserved this award.
I was escorted to my seat in the audience; Erica and me sat down in the seats reserved for us while Anna and the rest of my "team" sat down next to us, I was right beside Hayley Williams from paramore and Erica was freaking out.
"That's Hayley Williams! Do you realize who you are sitting next to!?"
I laughed " I've met her before Erica, we are friends."
"Well" she looked a little unsatisfied but she laughed.
The show seemed to be going by extremely slow, all I wanted to hear was best new artist be announced, I was over excited. Finally after waiting through a few good performances, some jokes and awards presentations there was only one award left before best new artist, it was for best rock video.
"And the nominees for best rock video are…"
Paramore
Good Charlotte
Tokio hotel
Metro station
"And the winner is… Tokio hotel!"
Who the heck is Tokio hotel? I saw them go up on stage and their image was so…. Weird. One of them was completely normal looking, another had long brown hair and bulging muscles, another was like a gangster inspired look, and he had dread locks, the last guy was the most unusual of them all, but I had to admit he was kind of cute, his hairstyle was so out there and he was wearing makeup, his clothing was extremely stylish for a guy, in fact all of them were pretty good looking. Anna leaned over to me over Erica
"Your going to need to know this for later but the one with the lion hair is Bill, the one with the dreads is Tom, him and bill are twins, and the long haired guy is Georg and the last one is Gustav they are from Germany, and you will be meeting them at the after party." she leaned back into her seat as everyone applauded for them. Bill went through his thank you speech really quickly and then it was time for best new artist.
" Now we are going to announce the award for Best new artist, this is an extremely important award because bands and singers that have won this have went on to become icons. And the nominees are…"
I was trembling of excitement.
Anna Simone
Lafee
Avery Grace
Too famous for fame
And the winner is…
Chapter 2
My heart was beating faster than it ever has in my life; I wanted this more than anything.
"Best new artist of the year is, Avery Grace!"
I felt numb, everyone around me jumped out of their seats but I was still sitting, I needed someone to pinch me, this couldn't be real. I jumped out of my seat and screamed my head off, and hugged Anna and some of my other "people" I hugged Erica and then ran up on stage while people were applauding for me. I was definitely going to cry.
I ran up on stage while the celeb presenters handed me my beautiful Moonman trophy, I stepped up to the podium to make my thank you speech, the speech I had prepared for since I was a little girl.
"Oh wow" I started "I've dreamed of this since I was like, 10" the tears are starting "I really don't want to cry, Heh, but I really want to thank my management, my friends and everyone in my family, this is the best possible thing that has ever happened to me, but most of all I want to thank my awesome fans, who helped me get where I am right now, I love you guys!" I blew out a few kisses and headed backstage where Anna, Erica and the rest of my "team" were waiting for me, I hugged them all and they gave me some flowers.
I did some quick interviews and so quick photo's and than I had to go back to my seat in the audience. We walked by that band, Tokio hotel, I looked over at them and they were all staring at me, and it felt a little weird, I saw them whisper things into each others ears but I just kept walking by. The rest of the show went by extremely fast and then it was time for the after party, I was going to have to meet a lot of people. I was most excited to meet tokio hotel, they had been on my mind for a while, and I just couldn't get them out .
Me and Erica walked into the room where the party was held, it was huge, it was dark but there were flashing lights everywhere, and it was hard to see. There were Celebrities everywhere. From the pussycat dolls to kid rock, this was the party of parties. Anna was taking me around to every little group of celebrities she could pick out. I was shaking hands and hugging people and listening to praises of my music and films. Finally it was the part of the party I had been awaiting for the past hour. I saw them all together sitting down on a couch and drinking their drinks. We started to walk over to them but I stopped and Anna tugged on my hand.
"Avery, come on lets go… what's the matter?"
"How do I look? Do I look good? Hot? Yes?"
"You look fine now lets go!" she tugged on my hand again
As we inched closer to their table they looked over at us and I smiled, bill smiled back at me, it blew me away. His face was so bright and well structured; he could have been a statue, a beautiful statue. I didn't mind the black circles of makeup around his beautiful brown eyes, it suited him.
"Hello boys" said Anna
"Hello" they said together, But Bill still had his eyes on me, and I looked back at him.
"You must be Avery grace?" he said
"Uh Yeah"
"Well I am Bill, this is my brother Tom" he waved " this is Georg and Gustav" they waved
"Yeah, I've heard a lot about you guys" I said
"That's cool, would you like to sit down?" Tom asked
"Oh, I don't know-Ow!"
Erica pinched my arm.
"Okay!" I restated
We sat down on the couch together and we talked about our lives and other random things. I could tell Erica was getting the hots for tom by the way she was acting around him; she had her flirty face on. Me and bill mostly just talked together away from the rest of them, it seemed like we connected.
"So you are new to this whole music thing, am I correct?" he asked
"Yeah, I only started a few months ago, I didn't even know I could sing" we laughed
"Well I voted for you, for the award, I liked your song when it first came out, it was so addictive." He started singing it and I was giggling, his voice was so gentle and beautiful.
Soon we realized that Erica and the rest of the guys were at another table, Erica was sitting beside tom and they were SO flirting with each other. Gustav was talking to Anna and Georg was talking to some other red headed girl.
It was around 3:00 in the morning when we realized that mostly everyone left the party and Anna was signaling that it was time for me to leave as well. Erica and tom were dancing but I didn't want to interrupt or she would kill me.
"I had lots of fun"
"So did I" he said
"Well I guess I will see you around, maybe" we laughed
I waved good-bye and started to walk out the door.
"Uh, Avery!" he called me
"Yeah?" I started walking back towards him
"Listen, we are here in the states for 2 more months are you here too?"
"Yeah, for 2 months too"
"Um, well if we could exchange numbers maybe we could meet up sometime, if you want to I mean you don't-"
"Okay" I smiled at him. We typed each other's numbers into each other's phones and I left with Erica by my side.
"That was the most fun I think I've ever had in my life!"
"Ha, I think you have a little crush on tom" I said laughing
"Actually, I kind of like Gustav, he's really cute and nice, we talked for a bit earlier, and tom said he has the hots for someone else anyways"
"Hmm, maybe you and Gustav will date?" I teased
She nudged me and smiled
Best night ever.
Chapter 3
I woke up the next morning in the hotel. It was still dark outside. I looked over at the clock
"6:15? Are you kidding me?" but I wasn't even tired.
I lay in bed thinking about last night, thinking about bill. Just then Erica walked through the door that had our rooms attached.
"Hey, I can't sleep can you?!"
"I know!" I patted a spot on the bed for her to come lay down in and we just lay there together and talked about nothing.
" So I got bills number last night" I said
She sat up "What?! Oh my god! You like him"
"No I don't! We are friends, well sort of." Just then my cell phone vibrated, I picked it up and it said it was a text, from bill.
"Its bill!" I shrieked and sat up to read it
Hey, sorry if it's too early but do you wanna go out for coffee later? Text me back ;)
We looked at each other and I gasped, I needed to text him back.
"Well? Are you going to?" Erica asked
"What do you think Erica?" I smiled and started typing.
Hey, don't worry I can't sleep anyways :P I would love to go out for coffee later how about 12:30? I should probably get more sleep ;)
After I pressed send we sat there in silence waiting for my phone to vibrate again. When it finally did we jumped and I grabbed it quickly.
Perfect I will come by your hotel, ill wait in the lobby, see you then
I shrieked in excitement and me and Erica ran to my suitcase to find something for me to wear. I knew I shouldn't have been making such a big deal out of this but I was a little overexcited, and I did have a little crush on him.
For the rest of the morning I was just getting calls from family and friends back home in Canada and hanging around waiting for it to be 12:30. The time just wouldn't go by fast enough; it was only 10:30. I decided to watch some TV, and turned the channel to music news.
"Last night there were some big winners at the MTV video music awards. Britney went home with 4 awards last night and Avery Grace snagged the award for Best New artist which was a wonderful moment."
I smiled at the comments.
"The after party was wild, there was dancing and singing and it was a smash. Celebs were hanging out together all night and until the early hours"
Some pictures flashed by of all the celebrities, and one came on the TV of me and bill together, I got even more excited.
Finally it was 12:15 after watching TV for the last 45 minutes and I started getting ready.
I wasn't in the mood to get chased by paparazzi today, so I put on a cute hoodie, some mascara and eyeliner and did my hair a bit, slipped on some jeans and went down to the lobby. I was waiting in the elevator and when I got off I stepped out maybe only for a second and then someone grabbed my hand and pulled me behind the pillar beside the elevator. I turned around and bill was standing there with a look of caution on his face.
"What's wrong? What's the matter?"
"Shh!"
He pointed behind me and I turned around. Humungous mobs of photographers were waiting by the front door. We would never be able to get out.
"We will go down the stairs," he said
Quickly and quietly with out being noticed we ran to door that lead to the stairs, there was a door there leading out to the back parking lot. Bill looked out the small window and then opened the door. Waiting there was a small Audi.
"Come on" he yanked on my hand some more
He got in the drivers seat and I went around and got into the passenger side. He put the key in the ignition and slammed his foot on the accelerator. We drove maybe for about 5 minutes and we were at the starbucks coffee shop.
"Here we are," he said
"Holy crap you drive fast, and there are no paparazzi either!" He was all undercover too. He only had a little bit of makeup on underneath his sunglasses and his hair was down. He had a black and white hoodie on with the bands name on it and a pair of jeans and sneakers.
He held open the door for me as I walked in, I slid on my sunglasses and went up to the counter to order but he stopped me.
"Don't worry, ill get it," he said
"No really you don't"
"Just let me" he smiled at me and then pointed at a table for me to sit at, I walked over to it casually so no one would notice who I was, people stared and squinted like they thought they knew but then forgot about it.
He brought over the 2 large coffees and sat down across from me. We were silent for a few minutes just sipping on our coffees. And then I broke the silence
"So are you liking the states so far?" I asked him
"Yeah its pretty cool here. I love the shopping and everything; there is a lot of stuff to do. Your from Canada right?"
"Yeah, boring…"
"Actually I really like it there, I just wish it wasn't so cold" we both laughed.
We sat in the star bucks for three hours talking about almost everything you could possibly talk about. We laughed and flirted with each other the entire time, I couldn't stop looking into his beautiful brown eyes. I looked down at my watch it was 3:30.
"Whoa we have been in here for a while"
"Yeah, but I don't really want to leave"
"Ha, neither do I," we smiled at each other and then the worst thing happened.
Chapter 4
"Hey Avery over here!" I looked over to the left of me and standing there was a man with a camera and tons of other men with cameras behind him. Paparazzi.
Bill grabbed my hand and I held it tight.
"Run" he said
We headed for the back door and I could hear the paparazzi calling after us and running behind.
" Don't look back," he said, " it will make us slower just hold onto my hand"
We pushed the back door open and started running, Bill's car was still outside the front of star bucks but we didn't have time to get to it. So we ran. I held onto his hand tighter as we ran down the sidewalks and crossed the streets, but they were still following us.
"What are we going to do?!" I yelled at him
But he didn't respond we just kept running. We were running on the sidewalk of town square when he pulled me into an alley way, we ran down to the very end of it but there was no other way out. I saw him look around and he pointed up
"A ladder!" he jumped up and grabbed a ladder hanging from the building. He boosted me up and we both jumped into the window of the building. The room was dark but extremely large. I had my back against the wall and he was standing in front of me still holding my hand. We peeked out the window and the paparazzi were scrambling around looking for us.
"They must think we got over the wall." I said
His face was extremely close to mine. I could feel him breathing on my face. My heart was pounding like crazy from running, but it was pounding because of him as well. I closed my eyes for a second and felt his soft lips almost touch mine and then someone turned on the lights. We turned around fast and saw an old woman standing in the doorway.
"You're trespassing your not supposed to be in here!" she said
"We are really sorry we were just running from some people" bill said to her
She gave us a look of shame and disappointment as we walked out the door. We took the elevator to the lobby of the apartment building and bill took out his cell phone.
"Who are you calling?" I asked him
"Tom, maybe he can come and get us from here, and I will ask my security to pick up the car."
" Oh okay"
"Oh and by the way" he said " I had a lot of fun" we smiled at each other.
He started mumbling some things in German into his phone and then closed it.
"My security will pick us up in about 10 minutes, do you want to sit down?" he pointed at a couch near the door and I lead the way to it. We sat down together. I slipped on my sunglasses and put on my hood and he did the same. Finally the car pulled up to the front of the building. Bill held open the car door for me and I got in, he followed. When we pulled up to my hotel I got out and of course there were some paparazzi waiting for me. Some were getting pictures of me, some were getting pictures of who was in the car and some were asking me questions. I ran into the lobby and security guards blocked the entrance doors. I entered the elevator and went to my room. Erica was waiting there for me sitting on the couch.
"You have GOT to see this."
"What is it?" I asked her
"Just watch, its just starting"
"Today in time square Avery grace was found with a mysterious stranger sipping coffee and flirting! when she spotted the paparazzi her and the stranger grabbed hands and started to run away from them. They ran through Times Square just to escape the photographers and news reporters! The managed to eventually get away but the photographers got exactly what they needed, footage. Who could this mysterious man be? We will fill you in. Maybe there is finally someone in her love life, stay tuned"
My jaw was to the floor and then I started laughing. Rica was looking at me puzzled.
"Did you guys really do that? Holy crap!"
I was still laughing; this was going to be hilarious.
Chapter 5
I woke up the next morning with the sun shining through my window. I could hear sirens outside, typical New York City. My phone rang and I reached over to pick it up. I looked at the caller display and it said Gustav. Gustav? How did he get my number? Probably bill. I answered it.
"Gustav?" I said
"Hi Avery, I needed to talk to you, bill gave me your number I hope you don't mind"
"No its fine, what's up?"
"Well, I just wanted to ask you if you could set me up…. With Erica" he said sounding a little nervous
I smiled; Erica was going to be really happy about this " of course Gustav! I didn't know you liked her" I chuckled
"Haha, yeah, I just can't stop thinking about her, could you ask her…like now? Ha"
"Sure gustav one sec." I held the phone to my shoulder and walked into Erica's room, she was sitting on the couch. I walked over and sat next to her.
"What's up?" she asked me
"Well I am on the phone with gustav," her eyes widened "and he wants to know if you would like to go on a date with him…?" her jaw dropped and her eyes were huge, I could tell that was a yes.
"She says yes Gustav"
"Thanks so much Avery! Oh yeah, and bill wants to talk to you, bye"
"Bye Gustav" I was still giggling
Then I heard bills voice.
"Hey, sleep well?"
"Very well actually, did you see the entertainment news last night?" I asked him
"Well yes, I am no longer Bill Kaulitz, but I am now the mysterious stranger." We started laughing, Erica was eyeing me across the room and I looked at her and giggled. I knew what she was thinking and she smirked at me, I went back to my room so me and Bill could talk in private.
"This is kind of funny, they don't even know who you are" I turned on the television and saw a picture of my face
"Wait bill, turn on channel 25"
I sat and watched
"Now we all know you gossip guys and gals out there are dying to know who Avery grace was spotted with yesterday in Times Square. Was it an old friend? A celebrity? Who knows… well now we do. After examining the pictures of her and the mysterious man, we found a large tattoo on the mysterious mans left arm from a picture of him with his sleeves rolled up. We have determined from evidence of clothing and this tattoo that it is none other than the front man on Tokio hotel, Bill Kaulitz! Well let's just say they do make a lovely couple."
"Haha! Oh my god! They think we are dating, the media is so hilarious" I was giggling
"Well do you want to be dating?"
I froze, what was I going to say to that?
"What do you mean?" I said
"Would you like to go on a real date with me?"
I smiled, I knew I wanted this.
"Well, yeah. I really do"
"Good, how about Wednesday night?" he asked
"Yeah, I'm free"
"See you then" he said
"Bye."
I ran into Erica's room shrieking.
"Holy cow what's the matter with you?"
"I have a date with bill!"
"Really?!"
"Really!!!"
We started jumping around together in excitement. Its only Monday, I don't think I can contain my excitement.
Chapter 6
~*~Wednesday morning~*~
I woke up at 7:00am; I was extremely excited for my date tonight. What am I going to wear? I lay in bed for a while thinking about what we were going to do tonight. I talked to him yesterday and he said it was a surprise, but what was it? Just then someoner knocked on my door
"Come in!" I yelled
Anna came in and sat on the bed with me
"I have some news" she said
"What is it?"
"Well you haven't exactly gone on tour yet for your album…"
"Right" I said
"And I just got a call from some ones management asking you if you would like to tour with them around the states for the next month and a half and then go to Europe!"
"Oh my god, are you serious! Who is it?!"
"You're really going to like this..."
"Hurry I'm going to spas!"
"You are going on tour with Tokio hotel!"
I started shrieking again. I hugged Anna really tightly and then Erica walked into the room.
"What's going on?"
"I am touring with tokio hotel!!!!!!"
Next thing I knew, Erica and me were dancing around like little kids and screaming our heads off. Basically wherever I went Erica went, and I knew that she would never pass up on this.
The day passed by quickly and then before I knew it, it was 6:00. Bill was coming in an hour.
I jumped in the shower, did my hair and makeup and slipped on a cute white dress and some jewelry. I hope I look good.
When I was finished getting ready I sat on the couch to watch some more TV, then I heard a knock on my door. I shut off the TV, grabbed my purse and opened the door.
Tom was standing there, he didn't look too happy.
"Tom? What's the matter? Come in…"
He walked in and sat on the couch.
"Are you okay?" I asked again
"I'm fine, I just…"
"What is it tom?"
"I'm just upset okay?"
"Well cant I help you? At all? Talk to me"
He looked up at me; I had a puzzled expression on my face.
"Okay, well my girlfriend just dumped me! For a guy in another band! Can you believe that?" I sat down next to him on the couch and we talked for a half an hour about his little situation, he was really upset. After we talked I told him bill was coming any minute and he got up to leave.
"So, did you find out we asked for you to tour with us?" he asked
"Yes I did, thanks for that." I said
"It wasn't my idea, it was Bills, but of course I wanted to as well you know?"
"Ha, yeah. You know tom we are friends, and you can talk to me anytime, about anything"
"Thanks Avery, well I will see you tomorrow, thanks again" he hugged me and I hugged him back, like friends.
Chapter 7
After he left I went back to sit on the couch again. It was 7:30 and Bill still wasn't here to pick me up, was he standing me up? I didn't want to think that but I was still waiting after all this time, and then I heard knocking.
I went to the door and opened it and saw Bill standing there with a bouquet of orange tulips, my favorite color.
"I am so sorry I'm late, I was held up at the hotel, there were some problems with the security"
"Its fine really" I said. He handed me the flowers and I hugged him.
"How did you know I liked orange?" I asked him
"Just a wild guess" he smiled
"Thank you bill" I smiled back
"Well are you happy about the whole touring situation?"
"Are you kidding? I was ecstatic! It's going to be the best!"
"I'm sure it is" he was beaming "We are sharing a tour bus and hotel, and apparently all of our rooms are attached in a chain of doors" he said
"Wow, that's sounds interesting" I turned around to put the flowers in a vase and when I turned back he was standing extremely close to me, like the other day.
"Should we go now? I still don't know where your taking me" I said
"We should" We held hands and walked out of my room together.
"You know there is going to be a lot of photographers downstairs…" I said
"Aren't we officially dating now though?"
"Right" I giggled
We stood in the elevator and waited to get down to the lobby, we were going to get swarmed. We were getting closer to the lobby when he held my hand tighter.
"Ready?" he said
"Ready"
The doors of the elevator opened and I could see the flashes already we walked out together holding hands and smiling for the camera with security behind us. We walked out the front doors of the hotel and jumped in the car.
"You know, that wasn't so bad… I think I can get use to it" I said
"So do you want to know where I am taking you?" he asked me
"I would like that"
"Well, we are going to a restaurant, it has an amazing view, and then I thought we could catch a musical afterwards"
"A musical? That's sounds great" I smiled at him
We were in the busiest part of New York City, the lights were on everywhere and it was so amazing.
We walked into a building and stepped into its elevator. Bill pressed the highest floor and we were heading up. When we finally got there I froze. It was a small room at the top of the tower. There was a small table set up with candles and food already waiting for us. The whole thing was made of a glass window, except the floor. I put my hands over my mouth in shock and walked in. through the window you could see everything, The lights and everything.
"Oh my god!"
"Isn't it great?" he said
I ran up and hugged him; he hugged back tightly and led me to the table. The food was fantastic, and the view was incredible, I couldn't have asked for a better date. We talked and talked about everything we would do on the tour together and future plans for our careers, and about us, and how we would be spending all of our time together. After we ate we went to the theatre to watch hairspray, which was my idea, and it was great. We laughed together and had loads of fun. It was 12:00 midnight when he decided he would take me back to the hotel. When we got there, there wasn't a photographer in sight. We walked in and up to my floor.
"Well this is my room, I had a really great time, thank you" I said
"I had fun too, I'm glad you liked it, I've never gone so far out for a date before, maybe because I have never cared about anyone as much as I care for you."
I was blushing like crazy and I knew he saw it. He caressed my cheek and his face started to get closer to mine, his arm was leaning on the wall beside my head and his other hand was now on my hip pulling me closer to him. I had my arms down but then he kissed me, and I moved them up around his neck. We stood there and kissed, like something you would see in a movie. Should I open my door? Should I invite him in? Am I ready for this? I wasn't ready, for now I just wanted to kiss him. His lips were so soft and gentle, as if he didn't want to hurt me. I finally pulled it apart.
"Bye bill" I said, staring deep into his beautiful eyes.
He didn't look turned down or angry, but he understood that I just wasn't ready to let myself go. He kissed me one more time and then he walked back to the elevator. Was I on fire? Cause it sure felt like it.
Chapter 8
I opened my eyes and it was still dark outside, I looked at the clock on the dresser, it was 10:30. I sat up in the bed. I looked over to my left and,
"Ah! Erica!" I screamed, Erica was sitting on the bed waiting for me to wake up.
"Haha, calm down! I wanted to ask you how your date was last night"
"It was amazing, the best date ive ever been on in my entire life" ihid myself underneath the blankets.
"Uh oh" she said
"Uh oh what?"
"Did he reject you?"
"No! I rejected him! But he perfectly understood that I wasn't ready okay?"
"And now you regret it"
I looked up at her.
"Yeah, but I want my first time to be special, not totally planned you know?"
"Yeah" she hugged me to try and make me feel better
"Oh yeah, Anna wanted me to tell you that the tour starts in 2 days, so you have to have all of your things packed and ready before than and we have to go over requirements and security issues and all that, and have you talked to your parents lately? Do they know about-"
Just then my cell rang, I picked it up "mom and dad" I looked at Erica
"That's creepy…. pick it up!"
I pressed the talk button
"Hello?"
"Well hello there stranger!" my dad of course
"Hi daddy"
"Well how are you?"
"I'm pretty good"
"What's been going on in that life of yours?"
I talked to him about the tour and the awards and all the things that have been going on, except bill.
"So we were watching entertainment news the other day, and you were on it" said my mom
"Oh really? I didn't know that"
"So you have a boyfriend now"
"Um, yeah I guess you could call him that"
"Why didn't you tell us about it? We shouldn't have to question you Avery!"
"I didn't tell you because… well… I thought you wouldn't approve of him, I know he's really different but it's his image mom, and he is the sweetest person I have ever met and I really like him"
"Well, we don't disapprove, as long as he makes you happy"
After talking a little more on the phone with my parents I hung up and fell back to sleep. Erica was lying beside me and I was sure she was sleeping too.
~*~1 week later~*~
The tour had started off great, we had already played 4 shows and they were awesome. I was getting used to the tour bus. Erica was always with Gustav, they were going steady now. Tom was always with his guitar and sometimes we would do stuff together. Me and Georg would play video games and hang out. And bill and me would usually just be together almost all day, we talked and laughed about things and we were always hanging out.
"I'm so excited for the show tonight!!!! This is going to be the best one!"
Erica woke me up from my deep sleep in my tour bus bed.
"Erica, let me ask you a question… do you sing or dance?"
"No"
"Do you stay up till the early hours of the morning?"
"Nope."
"Then think of how someone who DOES do that would feel… TIRED" I through a pillow at her
"Haha, alright grumpy"
Chapter 9
I slept in for another few hours and then I felt someone touching my hand. I opened my eyes and bill was standing by my bed he stroked my hair out of my face but I covered it with my hands.
"Don't look at me! I'm hideous when I wake up!"
"Haha, no you aren't. You're beautiful."
I sighed and he kissed my lips softly.
"We have to get up, we are going to be at the venue soon"
"How long are we in the states for?"
"Just another week, and then we are going to Germany for 1 month and then that's it, we have a month off"
"Sounds nice" I smiled
When we arrived at the venue I had an hour to get ready. I put on some snazzy clothes, some makeup and fixed my hair. I went to the backstage room and Erica and the guys were sitting on the couch eating pizza, but Bill wasn't there.
"Hey" I said
"Wow" said Tom
I looked down at my outfit.
"What?" I said
"You look great" all the guys were staring at me wide eyed, I always dressed like this, did I look different? Even Erica had the same expression on her face.
"Thanks…where's bill?" I asked
"He's getting ready in the other backstage room" said Gustav
"Okay, I guess ill go see him" I walked over to the table, grabbed some pizza and went into the other backstage room. Bill was sitting on the couch he looked up when he saw me come in and he smiled.
"What are you doing back here by yourself?"
"I don't know, just thinking I guess" he said
I sat down next to him and he put his arms around me, I laid my head on his chest and then I looked up at him, I kissed him, just one quick peck, but he kissed me again. This tiny kiss eventually became a make out session. I was sitting on his lap and before I realized it I was lying down on the couch and he was above me. We kissed for who knows how long and then the door opened, I shot open my eyes and pushed him off me, he landed on the floor, tom was standing at the doorway.
"Haha! Am I interrupting something?" he said
"Owwwwwww" bill moaned
"Oh god I'm sorry bill! I reacted too fast" I felt really bad
"What do you want tom?" bill said
" I just came to tell you that the show starts in half an hour… Is that enough time?" he started laughing hard. Bill chucked a couch pillow at him and tom closed the door, I could hear him laughing in the other room.
The show was like any other, Exciting and fun. But the entire time I sat backstage I couldn't help but think what went on in that room. We could have… you know. I was so close, but for some reason I still didn't want it. We have been dating for almost 2 months and all we've done is kissed and hugged and cuddled and snuggled, but I was afraid that it wasn't enough for him.
"Erica?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you and gustav… had sex yet?"
"No, I'm not sure I'm ready for that, and neither is he. Why do you ask?
"I don't know. Me and bill haven't either but I keep thinking that if we don't he wont want to be with me anymore."
"Do you think of him as someone who would do that to you?"
"I don't want to think that…"
"I think you should do whatever is best, and I think you are ready after I heard what went on in that room earlier today, Haha!"
I buried my head in my hands and sighed.
"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, its okay." She rubbed my back.
Maybe she was right, everything is okay maybe he felt the same way I did, I would eventually need to talk to him about this.
Chapter 10
~*~1 week later~*~
My alarm clock went off at 4:00am, the flight for Germany left in 3 hours and we needed to get to the airport and eat. I got up, got dressed, I barely even primped myself but I still looked reasonably good. I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I managed to get all of my stuff and bring it out to the hall for the bodyguards to pick up. I went downstairs and Erica was there waiting for me.
"I'm so excited!" she said
"Me too" I replied
When we got on the plane we had first class seats and they were humongous, you could fit 3 people in them at least. The first and only thing I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't want food or drinks, just sleep.
I fell into a deep sleep and then I felt someone sit beside me, I looked over my shoulder and bill was sitting there, he wrapped his arms around me and put up the foot rest on the seat,
"I love you," he whispered in my ear
"I love you too bill" I said back
We fell asleep together in that chair, and it was the most comfortable I have ever been.
The 6 hour plane ride seemed to pass by relatively quickly, we got off and tons of fans were waiting there for us, pictures were being taken and autographs were being signed, I didn't understand a word of what half of my fans were saying but at least I had some.
We went to the hotel and I packed my stuff in my room, I was thankful we didn't have a show tonight so I could sleep some more.
I lied in my bed thinking about my family and how much I missed them. I must have been 10:00 at night when I finished daydreaming and I heard a knock on my door.
"Come in!" I yelled
Bill came around the corner
"Hey Hun,"
"Hi" I said
"I haven't seen you around since we got here, what have you been doing?" he asked
"Just lying here, thinking about stuff"
"I just wanted to talk to you about something. Something important" he said, he sounded serious.
I sat up.
"What is it?" I asked. He sat down on the bed next to me.
"Its about our little make out thing last week"
"Oh right" I bit my lip
"I'm sorry I got so carried away, I guess you didn't really notice what was happening until I was basically overtop of you." He looked down.
"Its fine, I kind of liked it actually" I smiled
"I have something to tell you," I sat and listened "Its been an extremely long time since ive had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl for that matter, I guess I have been acting so all over you is because I love you so much and I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I keep thinking that you will break up with me… because we aren't… you know"
"Oh god bill no! I would never do that to you! I thought you were going to do that to me" I said
"Well the thing is…"he started " oh gott how do I say this… I'm still…. well I haven't…well…"
"Sh" I pressed my finger to his lips "I know what you mean, and its okay, cause so am I"
He looked up at me and I smiled at him.
"I'll, be right back…" I said.
I walked into the bathroom. I hope he caught my drift. I had my suitcase in the bathroom for some strange reason. And looked through my bag for something seductive to put on. I rummaged through and found a silk lingerie set. Where the hell did this come from? I never bought this! I looked at it and saw a little card on it
Avery,
For your first time, enjoy!
Erica
Oh god! ERICA! I was going to kill her, but thank her at the same time. How she got this past me I don't know.
I slipped it on and I looked surprisingly good in it. I messed up my hair a little and shaved my legs quickly. I sprayed on some perfume, it was his favorite one that I wore. I looked at myself in the mirror in shock. I realized that I was never going to get back my virginity, I wanted my first time to be special and I knew it would be, I hope it was worth it. I was having a roller coaster of emotions. I was nervous, happy, sad and don't forget nervous. I put my hand on the doorknob and opened it slowly. He was sitting on the bed but stood up when I walked out of the bathroom. His shirt was off and the suspenders on his dark gray jeans were hanging down. I walked over to him slowly and his eyes popped open. I was extremely close to him now. I traced my finger down the contours of his chest, his abs and all the way down to his star tattoo. His skin was cold like stone, I pressed my face against his chest and he hugged me tightly.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked me
I looked up at him and kissed his soft lips passionately.
"I'm sure"
He grabbed my hand and led me over to the bed.
Chapter 11
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. I couldn't have asked for a better night. I would never forget this. I felt bills arms wrapped tightly around me and I opened my eyes. I turned around and saw him sleeping. I quickly and quietly snuck out of his grasp and went to the bathroom. I saw the lingerie I had been wearing on the floor beside the bathroom door, I picked it up and threw it back in my suitcase. I put some pajamas on and went back out to the room.
I stood there for a second and watched him sleep. He was like a statue. Every feature of his body was like an artist carved it. I heard the door to the room slowly opening; I walked over and saw Erica walking in through the attached room door. She looked at me and she looked at bill sleeping in my bed and she covered her hand over her mouth and started having an excited spas. She rushed over to hug me and I shooshed her and pointed at bill sleeping.
"How was it?" she whispered
"The best night ever" I laughed quietly
Bill started to move a little and I pushed Erica out of my room. He sat up in the bed and smiled at me. I walked over to him and sat on the bed beside him. I kissed him passionately and then there was a knock on the door
"Be downstairs in 5 minutes Avery!" I heard Anna say
Bill got his clothes and snuck out of my room back into his. I got dressed and did all of my morning necessities and went downstairs to the hall for some breakfast. When I went down Bill, Tom, Georg, Gustav and Erica were already getting their food. I walked in and went up to the table to grab some grub. Across from the table bill kept giving me flirtatious looks and some funny faces, I Giggled constantly but Erica and Tom couldn't figure out what I was giggling for. I saw tom look at bill for a sec and then look back at me. I saw him barge out of the room. Why did he do that?
"What's up with tom?" I asked Erica
"I don't know, why would he just barge out like that?"
We sat down at the table and soon tom came to join us. He sat away from me and away from bill, pretty much away from all of us. He ate his food like he hadn't eaten anything for days and he smashed his fork on the plate. We were all staring at him, trying to figure out what was with his crummy attitude.
"Tom? Are you okay?" I said
He looked up at me; he looked as if he was in pain. The expression on his face was startling it looked like he was about to cry.
"Yeah, I'm fine…"
He was silent for the rest of the meal.
We had a show that night, and it was my first show in Germany ever. I was more than excited right now. When it started I was the first to go out and perform, I did 4 songs and all of the fans were amazing, I never thought I would make it this far in my career I felt so happy.
The entire day, Tom had said nothing to anyone. He always talks to me about stuff and out of nowhere he seems like he is upset with me. I might as well just forget it.
~*~2WeeksLater~*~
We were doing the last week of our tour in Germany, the entire month had been a blast but I couldn't wait to go home to see my family.
Bill and me were sitting together on the tour bus, he had one arm around my shoulders and we were just staring into each other's eyes. His brown eyes and my blue eyes.
"Avery?"
"Yeah?"
"I wanted to ask you something…"
"Shoot" I smiled
"I know you wanted to spend a month off with your family but I was wondering if…well if you wanted to stay here, with me maybe for a few weeks over the month, if that's okay with you"
"Yeah of course!" I kissed him
"And maybe later you could move in"
I froze I looked up at him, I had nothing to say
"All the guys said it would be awesome if you did, and Erica too, we've been dating for awhile and I thought it would be nice to have you around more"
"Of course I will!" I kissed him again, this time more passionately. "But I need to ask my parents first, I want to see what they think"
"Of course" he said smiling Breathtakingly.
Chapter 12
When we got to the hotel I was super tired. My room was attached to Erica's room and Georg and Gustav's room. I immediately went to the bed and plopped down on it. Someone knocked on my door.
"Who is it?"
"Its tom"
"Come in!"
Tom walked around the corner and stopped in his tracks. I sat up in the bed and went to sit on the couch. I patted on the seat signaling him to come sit down. HE sat next to me and I looked at him concerned.
"Tom, what's been up with you lately?"
"I don't know… I guess I just miss my ex that's all"
"Oh tom" I hugged him. He flinched but eventually gave into it.
"Its okay, she is an idiot, just forget her. I don't know why any girl would turn you down. Your sweet your funny your nice, and you have a lovely smile"
We laughed; he did have an amazing smile, just like bills.
"Thanks Avery, you always know what to say" he chuckled
"Well that's good"
We sat in silence for a minute, but then he broke it.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, um tonight there is a club party down in the ballroom all of us are going even Erica and bill wanted me to come and tell you so you could come."
"Yeah okay, sounds fun"
He got up and started to leave.
"Ill see you tonight, and wear something nice okay? Haha"
"Yeah I will tom"
I shut the door behind him. I tore through my suitcase trying to find something presentable to wear to a club/dance party. Something that Bill would like.
I pulled out a small black dress, it was tight and strapless but it was perfect. I picked out a pair of stilettos and did hair and makeup. I went down the hallway to Erica's room and knocked on her door. Nobody answered so I figured she must have already been down there. When I got to the ballroom there were people everywhere, including photographers. I let them take a few pictures of me and then I went in. There were flashing strobe and colorful lights and loud music making the ground shake. When I went in I saw the guys and Erica sitting at a little booth table, Erica spotted me and waved me over. I sat down next to bill and he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Glad you came" he smiled and kissed my hair.
"Yay! Lets go dance" Erica grabbed all of us out of our seats and pulled us onto the dance floor. Me and bill slow danced a few times, but we weren't REALLY dancing if you know what I mean, and I danced a lot during all of the fast songs. I was really tired so I went back to our table. Tom was sitting there alone.
"Hey!" I said
"Aren't you supposed to be dancing with Bill?" he smiled
"I'm tired so I'm taking a break"
I sat closer to him so it was easier to talk. I looked at him straight in the face and his seemed to be getting closer to mine. I froze at the shock of him being so close to me, and then His lips, were touching mine. I pushed him away and slapped his face. I gasped.
"Tom." I said
I felt uneasy, dizzy almost, what just happened. I need to get away from him; I wasn't feeling so good anymore.
Bill and Erica were coming back to the table when I started to walk out, Bill grabbed my arm.
"Are you okay?" he asked
"Yeah I just don't feel well I'm going to my room"
"Okay" he kissed me and I continued to my room. The entire time I kept thinking what the hell just happened?
Chapter 13
I went straight up to my room and fell asleep. Maybe I would forget about this in the morning, and I would act like it never happened.
When I woke up Someone's arms were wrapped around my waist. I had clothes on, that was a good sign. I turned over and bill was lying next to me, I sighed in relief. He opened his eyes to look at me.
"Good morning beautiful" he said
"How did you get in here?"
"Thanks for the greeting" he laughed
"Sorry"
"I went through Georg and Gustav's room, I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I stayed here." He said
"Awe, why are you so amazing" I smiled at him and he smiled back, I thought I would faint. He caressed my cheek.
Just then my phone rang. I didn't want to pick it up so I let it ring. It stopped but then started again. Bill passed it to me and I answered.
"Hello?" I said
"Hello this is Avery grace?"
"Yes who is this?"
"I work for Vanity Fair and I would like to ask you to do a photo shoot, we are shooting it here in Germany, are you interested?"
"Of course, yes!"
"Its actually a double shoot, we want Bill Kaulitz to do it with you"
"O really? Ill ask him" I held the phone to my shoulder.
"So, vanity fair wants us to do a photo shoot together" I said
"Sure, sounds fun" he smiled
I put the phone back to my ear.
"We'll do it"
"Great, tomorrow at the studio 7:00am" she said
"Thank you bye"
~*~Tomorrow~*~
My alarm came on at 6:00am; I didn't really need to dress up, since I was getting all the stuff at the shoot done for me. This was going to be so exciting.
Bill and me got in the car; the guys and Erica were bored so they came along to watch.
When we got there we walked in holding hands.
"Hello my name is Christine, and ill be shooting you today" she smiled, she seemed like a friendly woman. The entire morning I hadn't even looked at tom, but I could tell when he was staring at me. I didn't want to think about what had happened, I needed to forget and so did he.
My wardrobe stylist led me to my dressing room. There was a large couch in it and a full spot covered in clothes for me to wear. The first thing was probably the skimpiest item of clothing I would ever wear. It was a pair on slim black skinny jeans and a black silk bra. What kind of photo shoot is this? I got my hair and makeup done and looked at myself in the full figure mirror. I was shocked about how reasonably good I looked in it, I was never really confident with my body. I stepped out onto the set, and Erica, Georg, Gustav and especially tom's eyes were huge. I sat down in my chair and patiently waited for my boyfriend to come out onto the set with me. I did some photo's alone first and they turned out fantastic. When I saw him walk out of his dressing room I swore my heart stopped beating. He looked like something that wasn't real; he could have been up on a ledge somewhere flaunting his stone like body and beautiful face. Every inch of him was incredible. He walked over to me slowly and I placed my hand on his heart. His tattoos only made him look even better. He was wearing a pair of dark gray jeans and no shirt. Suspenders where hanging on the side of his jeans, just like that one night.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked
"I'm sure, how about you?"
"Positive" he said and kissed my forehead. We walked onto the set together. We posed together romantically, passionately and did some funny pictures together, I got pictures with Erica and Georg and Gustav, and a few with tom, but I was acting happy the entire time. I still didn't look at his face.
The shoot was finally done and I went back into my dressing room, I was extremely tired so I sat down on the humongous couch. Someone knocked on my door. I got up to answer and Bill was standing there but he didn't hesitate he just kissed me. He was leading me towards the couch still with his lips on mine. He shut and locked the door and we plopped down on the couch together to "relax" together.
Chapter 14
The photo shoot was exhausting and I went straight to sleep when we got to the hotel, we didn't have a show that night or the night after so I simply slept and slept and slept. I woke up the next day at around 6:00pm and Erica was sitting on the couch in my room watching TV. It was already dark outside since I'd been sleeping for a long, long time.
"Good morning sunshine the earth says hello!" she said
"Whatever" I replied
I got out of my bed and sat down on the couch next to her.
"So did you enjoy that photo shoot yesterday?" she asked
"Yup"
"Good cause they sent over a copy of the magazine" she handed it to me and I saw the picture of me and bill together on the front cover holding hands. I flipped through the pages of the interview we did and saw all the great pictures I had taken with my friends and my boyfriend.
"Wow" I said
"I know! You guys have SO much chemistry, but wait till your parents see it"
"Damnit! My parents!" I yelled
"They are going to kill me when they see this Erica!" I said
"You don't know that, maybe they will be proud of you for doing this photo shoot with class" she said and put her hand on my back and rubbed it to calm me down.
"Your right, its nothing to worry about" I took deep breaths
Erica stared down at her watch "dangit I got to go, me and Gustav are going out tonight"
She headed for the door " see you later Ave!"
"Bye!" I yelled.
After she left I locked the door, but then she knocked again, she must have forgotten something. I opened it but Erica was standing there, tom was. He pressed his lips against mine and closed my door and locked it behind him, this was a very familiar scenario, except this time I pushed him away.
"Get off of me tom!" I yelled at him and pushed his chest. I looked at his face and his eyes were red and glossy as if he had been crying.
"Im sorry…"
"What ever get out!"
"Please don't do this to me,"
"Why tom? Why are you doing this to me? What you did at that party was the biggest mistake of your life! You could ruin my whole relationship with bill! And I love him!"
"Well I love you" he practically yelled it out there.
I froze for a second. This couldn't be happening, I didn't want this.
"No you don't tom, now leave."
"Yes I do, I've been in love with you for the longest time! I don't know how you couldn't see it! When you started dating bill, I hated him, I was jealous that I couldn't be with you! And seeing that photo shoot today made me want to be with you even more than ever! I love you and you can't change that!"
I put my head in my hands and squeezed it trying to make this go away, or at least be just a dream. He got closer to me and wiped the tear off of my face. And he kissed me again, and this time, for some reason, I didn't push him away.
The morning sunshine shone through my window and I felt bills arms around me. His cold stone arms. It was all a dream, nothing happened last night. I started turning over but noticed something that wasn't right. Bills left arm was over me but there was no "freheit 89' written on it. I slowly turned to look at the person next to me, and I started screaming.
Chapter 15
My shrieking must have woken tom up as well cause he was screaming too. I fell off the bed and wrapped a blanket around me. I couldn't believe what was happening, I started bursting into tears.
"Avery," tom started
"SHUT UP!" I yelled at him
"This isn't happening this isn't happening." I was whispering to myself
the door attached to Georg and Gustav's room opened and Georg and gustav walked through it into my room.
"We heard screaming is everything okay?" Georg asked and then both of their eyes widened "oh my god" Georg said.
I felt like I was dying for a second, this was not happening. Georg ran over to me and wrapped another blanket around my back, because I was naked and so was tom. Georg scooped me up and put me down on the couch while I squeezed my head and the tears kept pouring out.
"Avery, I'm sorry"
"Get out tom, please"
"Avery really, I'm sorr-"
"GET OUT TOM!" I screamed at him and he ran into Georg and Gustav's room with a blanket around his waist.
Georg was rubbing my back trying to calm me down but Gustav hadn't moved an inch from the door. Its like he was frozen there.
"You need to promise me that you wont tell bill, or anybody, please" I begged them and they both nodded. Gustav brought me a pair of my pajamas and I slipped them on, I told them not to leave me. My eyes were red and puffy from crying but I was glad that I had someone's shoulder to cry on. I rested my head on Georg's shoulder while we sat on the couch.
"Are you okay Avery?" he asked me
"I don't remember anything that happened last night, its all a blur" I started crying again
"Its alright, are you going to tell bill?" he asked
"No, not right now, I don't even think I can forgive tom for this, if he hadn't kissed me a few nights ago this never would have happened, I pushed him away but he didn't give up this time I guess"
Erica ran in the room and Tom was behind her.
"Oh my god Avery what's wrong?"
"Get tom out of here Georg" I whispered in his ear
Erica sat down beside me and hugged me, tom looked at me with a hurt expression on his face, I didn't want him anywhere near me, and he clearly hasn't realized what he's done
"Give me a second Avery, to talk about this" tom said
"No, NONONO! How could you do this! I told you to stay away! Do you realize what you've done! I could lose Bill for this! I can't lose him! And now you will lose him too! Leave me alone tom!"
He walked out of the room. I explained everything that happened to Erica, I was glad she was there for me.
Chapter 16
~*~ Next day~*~
My stomach was growling loudly when I woke up, I was so tired but I needed some food. I got out of bed and looked at the clock, 2:00pm? I was still tired! Whatever. I walked to the minifridge with my eyes closed and grabbed an apple. I munched on it for a few minutes and went back to sleep. But I landed on something.
"Ow!" bill screamed
Now I was awake
"Bill? What are you doing here?"
"Georg and gustav told me you weren't well yesterday, so I stayed with you last night, do you not want me here?"
"No no no! I need you here!" I practically jumped on him and squeezed him tightly, I started crying again.
"Don't cry, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just…I love you so much, I hope you know that," I said, the tears streaming down my face.
He pulled me in front of him, and kissed me "I will always love you, no matter what"
The tour was over in 1 week, I needed to work myself up to tell bill about what happened between tom and me. I started getting sick a lot, and I was always really tired, I could never stay awake half of the time and I was eating like an animal. I was sitting in my hotel room watching tv and bill came in.
"Hi," he was smiling and kissed me while he walked by
"Hi…"
"How are you feeling?"
"Okay… listen bill we need to talk about something," I said
He sat down on the couch across from me.
"Okay, what is it?"
I started to cry, he was going to come over to hug me but I put my hands in front of him to go back and sit down.
"I need you to know first that what I'm about to say, I regret and it meant nothing, and It doesn't matter if you forgive me or not because I don't deserve forgiveness"
Just then tom walked in my room.
"Hey guys what's going on?" he said
"Sit down tom" I said
"Avery, what are you talking about?" Bill's eyes started to get glossy; I didn't want to see him cry.
"Um… a few nights ago… when I started to not feel well, I was actually depressed and upset with myself because… me and tom…"
I saw a black tear run down bills face and more started falling down mine.
"Me and tom slept together" toms eyes were wide, he had no reaction. I put my head in my hands and continued to cry. Bill sat on the couch motionless; another tear fell down his face.
"How could you do this to me?" bill said
"It meant nothing, and I need you to know that" he stood up and so did tom, bill looked over at him
"Im sorry bill" he said
Bill started yelling at him in German, I didn't understand anything they were saying but I sure did understand when bill pushed tom into the hotel wall.
Bill looked at me again.
"I'm so sorry bill" I said again
"So am I..." The pain in his expression stung me; I didn't know what to say to make this better.
Chapter 17
I pushed tom out of my room and lied on my bed bursting into tears. Clearly it was over between us. I fell asleep in seconds. I was going to have to go home, I had no reason to stay here anymore. When I woke up it was dark outside, I had this disgusting feeling in my stomach, and then I ran to the toilet, I started violently throwing up and when it was over I started to feel hungry again. I went back to the minifridge and ate some chocolate bars and fell asleep on the hotel couch.
Erica came in my room later.
"Hey" she said
I didn't say anything; I was too upset to talk.
"Avery, we need to talk," she said again
I still didn't say anything
"Are you going back home? Cause if you do of course ill come with you"
"Yeah" I said
"How are you feeling?" she asked
"Other than the violent throwing up, the pacing hunger and the fact that I'm falling asleep every 20 minutes I'm terrible."
She flinched…
"Do you have your period right now?" she asked
"No" I scowled "why?"
"We are on the same schedule, and I have mine right now" we satin silence and then she looked at me in shock, and I realized what was happening
"Avery you don't think"
"NO!"
"No? Avery! The sickness the hunger and fatigue! And your period! It's late! I'm getting tests, ill be right back"
I stood up and started pacing, this was not good, what if this was toms baby!
I waited impatiently for Erica to come back with the pregnancy tests and when she finally did I ripped them out of her hands and headed for the bathroom.
"Avery!" she knocked on the door
I used one and waited for the results I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed next to Erica.
A little pink plus sign appeared on the screen, my life was over.
"Oh my god" I started to cry
"Avery! Its okay! These aren't 100% true! I will make an appointment at a clinic,"
She ran to the phone and looked in the phone book for a clinic. I sat on the floor on my knees and my hotel door opened, tom walked in.
"What's going on?" he asked, he looked worried
"Tom, I might be pregnant"
I thought I saw him stumble a little, I hope he doesn't faint.
"Um…I… I don't know what to say,…" he said, he looked like he was going to cry
"I am pretty sure it's yours tom…"
His face hit the floor
"Holy shit tom!" I jumped to my feet and closed the door, me and Erica dragged him to the couch and fanned him with a couple magazines, his eyes started opening.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry Avery but I cant do this" he walked off and closed the door behind him.
"I made an appointment with a doctor for tomorrow morning, ill go with you if you want…"
"Yeah that sounds great Erica, thanks so much" I started to cry again and she hugged me tightly, 10 minutes later Georg and gustav came in the room
"We just heard something from tom," Gustav said
"HE TOLD YOU?!" Erica yelled
"Well the guy is freaking out over here!" Georg said
"I can't believe this! Okay tomorrow I am going to the doctors so I will figure it out then but can any of you see that I'm the real victim here? I am the one who is pregnant! ME! I am pregnant"
"What?" Bill's voice came from the door attached to Georg and Gustav's room.
I looked over with tears in my eyes.
"Oh no, you weren't supposed to hear that" Erica said.
"And I suppose that this "child" is toms?" Bill said
"Bill, this wasn't supposed to happen, just leave I don't want to see you"
"Well why not? I should be the one saying that! After what you did to me! And you," he looked at tom "what the hell could you say that would ever make me forgive you"
The two of them started going at it in German and then Georg and Gustav joined into the little argument while me and Erica sat there staring in shock at what was going on. I intervened
"Oh my god just shut up! All of you! I can't take this anymore, after my doctor's appointment tomorrow…I'm leaving, I am going home where I belong, and clearly nobody wants me here. I've lost everything"
I walked out of my room and into Erica's, hoping that everyone in my room would leave. I could just hear Erica saying,
"Listen bill, you really don't have much of a reason to forgive Avery right now, but you cant even imagine what she is going through, she doesn't want to see you cause it breaks her heart,"
"She broke mine!" he yelled back
"Well think about this! She will be gone and you wont have to see her ever again until toms child is born!" she came in the room and shut the door behind her.
Chapter 18
~*~Next day~*~
"Are you ready to go?" Erica asked me
"Yeah, lets leave, I want to get this over with"
The drive there was full of anxiety and depression. When we arrived at the clinic I was served right away.
"Hello there, I am doctor Sherwood are you Avery grace?" a white haired woman asked me
"Um yes, I am"
"And you are here for a confirmation on your pregnancy"
"Yes"
"And ultrasound?"
"Sure…why not"
We walked into the small room and went through the entire procedure. When the doctor walked back in she had a smile on her face
"Good news, your pregnant" she said
I faked a smile and so did Erica, but I was actually a little happy, I had always wanted kids, but not exactly this way.
"Your already a few weeks along, would you like the ultrasound" she said
"Yeah, okay" I smiled
They did the natural procedure for an ultrasound and I sat patiently while she rubbed the jelly stuff on my stomach. When she started using the machine a little picture came up on the screen.
"And there…is your baby" she said
I started to cry, but not tears of sadness
"Would you like to know the sex?"
"Yeah, I would" I said
"It's a girl"
I don't think I am so upset anymore.
When we got back to the hotel the first thing I did was call my parents.
"Hello?" my mom answered
"Hi mom"
"Oh sweetheart hello! How are you!"
"I have something important to tell you, and first I have to say, please don't kill me"
"Oh Avery what is it?"
"um you see, I'm kind of pregnant"
It was silent for a second and then she started screaming
"Oh Avery! I'm going to be a grandmother!"
"Wait your not mad? You haven't even met my boyfriend! I'm all he way in Germany, I mean I coming home but your not mad?"
"Well you are coming home WITH him aren't you?"
"Um…no"
"Oh no, why not?" she asked
"Well it's kind of a long story, but I'm coming home tonight"
"Okay sweetie, ill see you soon"
"I love you mom"
"I love you too, take care"
I hung up, time to prepare for the long ride home.
Chapter 19
Erica and me had all of our things packed and taken to the cars and it was time for us to say good-bye. Tom, Georg and Gustav came down to the lobby. Earlier I had shown tom the picture of the ultrasound and told him it was a girl. He acted strangely compassionate to it and was all for helping me with the baby while we still maintained our friendship.
"Well I guess this is goodbye you guys" Erica said.
She hugged Georg and tom and I knew she would want to have a long goodbye with Gustav, I knew she would miss him
I hugged Georg and Gustav
"I'm really going to miss having you around" Georg said
"Haha, ill miss you too Georg" I said
"Bye Avery, it wont be as fun without you" Gustav smiled but I could see his sadness.
"We will come back and visit before the baby is born, and maybe you can come back to Canada for the birth"
"Of course" they all said
I hugged tom last.
"You cant leave," he said " bills worst fear is losing you"
"No, his worst fear is losing the both of us, and he still has you."
"He hates me, he will never forgive me"
"Give it time" I handed him a letter
"Give this to bill for me please tom"
"Of course" he said
Bill,
I can understand how angry and heartbroken you are right now. I hope you feel better knowing that you wont see me for a very long time. I will miss you more than anything in the world while I'm gone. There will not be a day that goes by that I wont think of all of the wonderful times we had together. I hope that you remember me in a good way, because I will always love you no matter what. What I did was inexcusable and unforgivable, I want you to forgive tom, and I don't say this for him or myself, but for you. Tom loves you, he is your brother and I know that he can't live without you and you cant live without him. Find a place in your heart to forgive the both of us.
I will always love you.
Avery
~*~ 8 months later~*~
My stomach had gotten really big; I got calls from the guys almost every week asking how I was feeling. My face was of course plastered on every magazine in the stores and all over the television. I had constant interviews about my pregnancy and all of them included the question. "Who is the father?" of course I lied and said an old boyfriend I had gotten back together with, to protect my friends.
Everyday I missed bill more and more, I felt the pain. I wished that this beautiful girl were his. I liked being at home with my parents and my family, I had told them the entire story and they stood by me completely.
I was sitting in my bedroom and Erica walked in.
"Hey girls" she referred to me and the child
"Hey Erica" I said
"How's the baby?"
"Same as ever, never stops kicking"
"I spoke to tom yesterday, do you think he's excited to be the father?"
"I think he's going to learn how to deal, he seems happier now that bill forgave him, I think he would rather not be a dad, but I understand"
"I always thought that you and bill would have kids, I mean you 2 were perfect together, didn't you guys…you know…anyways?"
"Yeah … OH MY GOD ERICA"
"What? Contractions?" she asked
"I just realized something! Something important!" I stood up,
" The doctor said that I was only A FEW weeks along!"
"Yeah, and…"
"Me and Tom only had sex a few days before the appointment!"
"Oh my god, Avery, do you know what this means?"
"Bill is the father!"
Chapter 20
This was one of the best moments of my life, this baby wasn't toms, it was bill all along. Erica was jumping around hysterically in excitement; I picked up my cell phone and dialed Tom's phone number.
"Hello?" he answered
"Tom! Tom! I have good or bad news, however you wanna take it,"
"What is it? Is something wrong with the baby?"
"No! The baby isn't yours"
"What?"
"Its bills!"
"Oh, thank god, I wasn't ready to be a dad yet, I'm good with being an uncle"
"I'm coming to Germany, tonight, just so I can tell him myself"
"Well can I tell Georg and gustav?"
"Go ahead but make sure they don't say anything to him"
"Alright, see you later Avery"
"Bye" I hung up and dialed my agent to set up a reservation for 2 seats on the next plane to Berlin. After me and Erica gathered everything we headed for the airport. We boarded the plane quickly; they estimated us being in Germany by 7:00pm.
We were into the plane ride about 3 hours and Erica broke the silence.
"You must be so happy Avery," she said
"Yeah, I am happy, I hope bill is happy about this too"
"I'm still going to be the godmother right?" she asked me smiling
"Duh!" I said, we laughed
"I've really missed bill, I just hope he missed me too, I can't wait to tell him"
I stared out the plane window, thinking about how he could react to this news. I imagined our life together and how beautiful our little girl would be.
The plane arrived in Germany at around 6:30pm just as I thought it would, I had called tom and he gave the driver directions to the hotel they were staying at. My heart was pounding faster than it ever has in my life; I was ready to do this. I was nervous to see him, it had been 8 months that I had been away from him, and I hope he wasn't still mad.
When we arrived at the hotel I forgot about my bags, me and Erica just ran inside. Tom was waiting for us in the lobby. We rushed up to hug him, it was a little hard for me cause of my stomach and all but we managed.
"I'm so glad you're here, bill and the rest of the guys are upstairs in my room watching TV, lets go."
I was shaking of excitement and the baby was kicking like crazy, she must have been excited too. We entered the room and when we walked Georg and Gustav jumped up off the couch to greet us, from behind them I saw bill sitting on the couch still his eyes widened, clearly he didn't expect us to be here. It was silent for a moment while he stood up off the couch and came closer to me, he was still fragile I could tell.
"Hi bill," I said
"Hi" he actually smiled, I thought I would faint, he walked over to me and gave me a friendly hug, I wish it had meant more.
"How are you, how is" he gulped "the baby" he smiled again
"Good, actually I have something to tell you, its really important"
"Yeah? What is it?" he looked nervous at first but I could tell he was listening. I grabbed his soft hands and led him over to the couch again.
"Listen, I know that I hurt you, but I've learned to forget. I will never forgive myself for what I did, but I've missed you more than anything in the world, I think about you everyday and I wish I could be with you again. But I came here today to tell you that this baby, its not-" I grabbed my stomach in pain, something was wrong. I fell to the floor grasping my stomach and Bill and Georg caught me before I hit the ground
"Avery!" bill screamed my name
"What's wrong with her?" Erica asked
"Its coming the baby is coming!" I yelped
"Gustav get help!" tom yelled
The baby was coming, and bill still didn't know she was his. The pain was unbearable
"Get me to a hospital now!" I screamed
"I have to call her family!" Erica yelled
There was too much noise, I blanked out.
Chapter 21
I woke up on a hospital bed, I was still in unbearable pain, and I saw Bill and tom beside me while I was getting pushed to an emergency labor room. Bill and tom were talking to the doctors in German since I barely knew any, I didn't understand what they were saying. When we stopped moving I grabbed Bill's hand and pushed his face to stare at me.
"Bill,"
"Its okay everything is okay" he caressed my hair
"The baby, She is yours bill, she's yours. Not toms or anyone else's she is yours. Our daughter" I finally said it. I saw tears well up in his beautiful brown eyes, the ones that our daughter would have.
"Really? So,"
"Me and tom meant absolutely nothing, I don't love him, I love you"
"I love you too" he said back and kissed my forehead.
The bed started moving again and I clenched his hand tightly. I started screaming in pain once again.
"Don't leave me," I said looking into his eyes begging, "I need you"
"I will never leave you, don't worry" I started panicking, was I ready to give birth?
I was probably in labor for 3 hours tops, it was terrible. I had probably squeezed all of the blood out of bill and Erica's hands. Gustav and Georg were sitting in the waiting room to greet my parents when they arrived. Tom was moral support for bill; he was having a hard time coping with the fact that he was about to see a baby being born.
"Alright miss grace, you NEED to start pushing now" said the doctor
I could feel more pain than I have ever felt but somehow I was content. I was happy, I had everything I wanted. I would live in a beautiful house with my beautiful child and my more than perfect lover. Screaming and yelling I pushed out my child, Bill stared at me deep in my eyes to try and get me to concentrate on him and not the pain. Before I knew it, the pain was over and I collapsed in relief.
"Oh my god! Avery you did it!" Erica said
"It's a girl," said the doctor
"I'm so proud of you," bill said and kissed my hair
I couldn't speak, they wrapped my little girl in a blanket and cleaned her up but I couldn't yet hold her, I needed to rest, and that's exactly what I did.
I woke up in silence, I couldn't hear any noise anymore, I looked over to my left and saw my parents sitting in chairs by my bed.
"Oh, she's waking up!" my mom nudged my dad
"Hi mom, hi dad"
"Oh Avery!" my mom said and grabbed my hand tightly
"We are so proud of you," my dad said
"I couldn't have done it without Erica there, and bill"
"We met him, he is a very sweet boy, and you know how to pick 'em"
"Haha, mom,"
"She's beautiful Avery, she looks just like the 2 of you, she has his brown eyes, and the cutest little head of platinum blonde hair, just like you had when you were born"
"I wish I could see her, I guess I will soon"
"Have you picked out a name for my little granddaughter?" my dad asked
"No, not yet, I just told him the baby was his, he is still in shock, but we will pick one, together"
"Where are you planning on living?" my mom asked
"Well, bill has a house, but its in Germany"
"That's really far away" she said
"I know, but I can always come visit every couple months, I don't want her away from her culture either, don't worry, I will figure something out"
"Alright sweetheart"
There was a knock on the hospital door and Bill walked in
"I'm sorry to interrupt, can we have a moment?" he said
"Of course" said my parents and they walked out, Bill closed the door behind him and sat beside the bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked
"Amazing" I smiled
"I forgave you a longtime ago Avery," he looked down "I didn't think you still cared about me, but the truth is, I thought about you non stop everyday, I still loved you, and when you told me what happened I never thought I would be with you ever again, I wanted us to have a happily ever after together, I was mad but, I'm not anymore. I want you to stay here in Germany with me and the baby too, because I love you more than anything in the world"
I started feeling little tears well up in my eyes
"Of course" he hugged me and I kissed him passionately, just like old times.
The doctor came in holding my little girl.
"Would you like to met your daughter miss grace?" he asked
I held my arms out to cradle her in them. When he placed her in my arms it felt like she belonged there, like a missing puzzle piece. She opened her beautiful little eyes and the color was breathtaking, they were brown like Bill's but just a little more chocolate colored, she had his cheekbones and she definitely had my hair.
"We need to give this cutie a name," I said playing with her tiny hands and feet
He stared at her for a minute, and caressed her soft face. She grabbed his finger in her tiny hand. This is how I had always imagined this moment.
"I think I like the name Ilsa, it suits her" he said
"That's beautiful" I said smiling at her, she smiled back "Ilsa,"
Chapter 22
~*~3YearsLater~*~
"Mama! Mama! Look what I found!" Ilsa called for me
I ran to her from across the garden. She held a tiny flower in her hand. An orange tulip.
"That's beautiful sweetie, lets go put it in a vase" I smiled at her and swept her up into my arms.
My beautiful little girl had grown from a baby to a toddler. Her long silky blonde hair and her beautiful brown eyes. Her smile was just as breathtaking as Bill's smile and she even had a little accent just like him too.
We had the perfect life. I still kept on with my acting/singing career and bill and the band still toured around everywhere. He was always here when I needed him, he took care of Ilsa as equally as I did and he adored being around her, and she adored being with him. Watching the 2 of them together brings tears of happiness to my eyes, when I think about everything that had happened over the years and how happy I was now.
We all lived together in this huge house in Hamburg Germany, sometimes I was sad because I was away from my family at home, but I always visit. Erica and gustav got married a year ago, they were ready to take the next step. Me and bill haven't quite gotten there yet, but we will.
She jumped out of my arms and started running.
"Ilsa!" I yelled after her
"Daddy! Look what I have!" she ran over to bill, he was sitting on the couch with tom in the living room.
"Mommy says it's a orange tulip" she smelt it
"Your mother loves these flowers Ilsa" he looked at me and smiled, he kissed her forehead and picked her up to place her on his lap. I walked over and sat beside him and he put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my lips.
"Uncle Tommy you have the flower" she handed it to him
"Why thank you" he said and we laughed
Gustav, Georg and Erica came into the living room to join us. I had my family here, a whole new family.
Ilsa cuddled in between me and bill on the couch and we snuggled together.
"I love you," he said to me
"I love you too, more than ever," I said back
He kissed me passionately.
We were officially in our happily ever after, together