CHAPTER 1

It was a chilly fall evening in Seattle but Alice felt oh so warm. She was gliding, and skipping, and grinning, down the busy street. She felt like the happiest, luckiest girl in the world. She looked up to her fiancée and his expression was a reflection her own. He grinned back at her, his eyes shinning with bliss and adoration. He bent down and kissed her softly - sensually. She couldn't stop smiling, her eyes looking down at her hand for the millionth time. She admired that special finger, which now had a beautiful, perfect ring on it. She twirled and laughed, and Jasper giggled and pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. They kissed slow and deep, ignoring the other pedestrians who stared and frowned at them.

When they arrived in front of her apartment building, she paused, her smile faltering a little. The complete lightness she had been feeling became a little heavier. She worried for her best friend, her sister, her only family. And right then, she couldn't push away the feeling of guilt.

As always, Jasper was attuned to her feelings and he grabbed her hand, letting her know that he was here to support her. He knew that announcing their engagement to Bella was a bittersweet affair. Alice, Bella and her son Tony had become a family, and she didn't want to break it up. She had helped raise Tony since he was only 3 weeks old, and thinking of being separated from them made her sad. Alice knew that Bella would be happy for her, but Alice couldn't help wondering how Bella would manage once she got married. It would be hard on her and Alice didn't want to be the reason that Bella would suffer once again.

Jasper squeezed her hand and she looked up at him, and she couldn't help but smile at the beautiful man staring at her with pure love. She knew deep in her heart that he was worth it.

Bella had a headache and she was glad that Tony had finally fallen asleep because it had been a long, trying day and she had no more patience for her son at this moment. She picked up a few toys on her way to the living room and put them down in a corner in a meager attempt to make the apartment look cleaner. Alice had just texted her to say that she was on her way home and that Jasper would be with her.

Bella sat down on the couch, finally taking a second for herself. She grabbed her cup of tea that she had made earlier and took a sip, making a face because the tea was completely cold. She closed her eyes and thought about her best friend. Alice had been dating Jasper for almost a year now but Bella had never met him. She wasn't sure why that was. First, she wondered if Tony was the reason why. They both didn't want Tony to meet the guys she dated in case it didn't last. But Bella knew that Jasper was different from all the other guys Alice had dated before. Bella could tell that Alice was in love with him and that it was serious. Bella worried that the real reason she didn't talk more about her relationship to her was because Alice could tell that Bella's heart ached every time the word love was mentioned. Bella couldn't think about love without heart-wrenching pain. At that thought, Bella's chest constricted, her breath wavering with sorrow. She opened her eyes and skillfully pushed away all thoughts of the reason why she was suffering. She had learned through therapy and through years of practice how to push away the memories of her past. She took deep, steady breaths and reminded herself of what was good in her life. Her baby. Her best friend. Her supportive friends. Her job. Her apartment.

The door opened and Alice came in, followed by Jasper.

"Honey, I'm home!" she joked as she hurried to the living room.

Bella got up, put a smile on her face and went to greet them.

"Hi!" she said as she hugged her friend. "How was your trip?"

Alice wanted to jump and scream her news, but she knew better and tried to take things slow. She couldn't resist grinning though, and Bella smiled back. Alice noticed that she looked tired and felt a twinge of guilt.

"It was great." Alice answered as she pulled Jasper closer. "Bella, this is Jasper."

Jasper bowed his head and then extended his hand. " It's an honor to finally meet you, Bella," he said politely. He felt nervous to meet the only family Alice had. He knew that Bella and Tony were extremely important to Alice and so this was a big deal.

Bella smiled and shook his hand. "Hi Jasper, it's nice to finally put a face to the name," she joked while her eyes met his for the first time. And then she froze, recognizing these gentle eyes too well. It was an instant punch to her gut. Memories that had been pushed deep inside for so long came rushing up. She felt nauseous. She quickly looked away, afraid that the pain would be noticeable, and pulled her hand back from his. She felt like her legs couldn't carry her anymore. She wanted to crawl to a dark corner and hide. She wished she could erase the memory of these eyes and forget about that horrendous day when she had seen him before. That had been the day when she'd lost her heart.

But beyond the agony, and through the haziness of her thoughts, she heard her friend's happiness cut through her meltdown.

"It's amazing to finally have the most important people in my life together in the same room," Alice cheered.

Bella owed Alice this much, and so she took a deep, shaky breath and turned around.

"Let's go sit down. I want to hear about your trip," she croaked out as cheerfully as she could manage.

She walked slowly to the couch, her every step weak and strenuous. Alice and Jasper were following her. With her back to them, she felt a little more in control. She felt as if her whole body was shaking, and her throat tightened so much it was impossible to swallow or talk at all. But she pushed through. She refused to think about where she knew him from. She pushed all thoughts away as she settled on the couch, the couple sitting down across from her, clasping hands and smiling. She counted her breath, and felt her heartbeat gradually slow down. She couldn't freak out now, not when Alice looked so happy and Jasper was the reason for it. Alice deserved love and happiness and all things good. Alice was an amazing person and she had sacrificed too much already for her and Tony. So she looked back up at them and forced a smile that was not quite perfect. Alice stared back at her, full of questions and worries.

Jasper was not paying attention to the girls because he was looking around the apartment, curious about every little aspect of it. He relished in finally seeing the place where Alice lived. He couldn't believe that he had been with her for almost a whole year, and that he was going to marry her, and yet he had never seen her apartment.

The worried voice of his fiancée brought him back to them.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. So tell me? What's the big news?" Bella answered, a somewhat awkward smile on her face. Jasper noticed that she looked a little pale. Her face seemed somewhat familiar but he wasn't sure where he would've known her from.

He looked to his side and found Alice studying her friend with a suspicious look. For a few, long seconds, nobody said anything and Jasper wondered what was happening.

"Alice," Bella pled. "I'm fine. I promise."

Alice examined her friend for a few more seconds before nodding and exhaling.

"So? How was your little vacation?" Bella asked again.

Alice turned to look at Jasper and smiled widely. He smiled back at her, completely enamored.

"It was amazing! And something really important happened!" Alice exclaimed with so much animation. She couldn't sit still. " So, Bella, you know you and Tony are my family. You are like a sister to me," Alice continued, her nerves reappearing. "And so I wanted you to be the very first one to know," she paused, adding suspense to the news, "Jasper proposed! And I said yes!" She exclaimed, her joy bursting through her trepidation. She bounced and waived her ring finger in the air.

Bella jumped off the couch, squealing, and ran to hug her friend. "Oh my god, Alice! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" She shouted enthusiastically as Alice was bouncing in her arms, a beautiful grin plastered on her face.

Bella refused to let her broken heart, her past, and her own anxieties damper Alice's happy news. She ignored the ache that was twisting inside of her. She focused on her friend's smile, and on taking one breath at a time. She acted as delighted as possible. She listened with forced excitement to the details of how Jasper proposed, and she managed to laugh and celebrate with them, even if deep inside, she was utterly sick with the fact that Alice was marrying into this particular family. And that she might not be able to push her past away any longer.

...

I hope you're intrigued. Let me know what you thing :)

I have a few chapter written already, so hopefully I'll update soon. xoxo