A/N: This story is based off of a story by the Brothers Grimm called Hans in Luck. No, I don't think Kagome would be this stupid; I just thought it would be funny.
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Kagome had served her master, Inuyasha, for seven years, and then she said to him:
"Inuyasha, my time is up; I should like to go home to my own time, so give me the Sacred Jewel, if you please."
Inuyasha replied with a grumble: "You have followed me faithfully through the Sengoku Judai and have been honest; your reward will match the way you have worked." And he gave Kagome the Sacred Jewel Shard, lodged in a rock as big as her head.
Kagome wrapped the rock in her spare uniform, and set out towards the well. As she was walking along, always putting one foot in front of the other, she saw a Sesshomaru riding comfortably upon the lively Ah-Uhn. "Ah," said Kagome, "what a fine thing it is to ride! There you sit, as on a stool, you trip over no stones, and save your shoes, and how quickly you cover the ground!"
Sesshomaru stopped and said: "Why do you go on foot, then?"
"Because I have to," Kagome replied, "For the Sacred Jewel is lodged in this rather awkward-sized rock and I have to carry it home; I can't even hold my head straight, and it hurts my shoulder."
"If you like, we will exchange," said Sesshomaru. "I will give you Ah-Uhn, and you can give me your rock."
"Wonderful!" cried Kagome; "but I tell you fairly, this is quite a burden."
Sesshomaru dismounted, took the rock, helped Kagome onto Ah-Uhn, placed the reins in her hands and said: "Now, when you want to go really fast, you must click your tongue and shout: 'Yip yip!'" Sesshomaru left with a satisfied look on his normally stoic face.
Kagome was delighted to be riding so comfortably and freely on a dragon. After a while, she thought it would be nice to go faster, so she cried: "Yip, yip!" The dragon started to gallop, and before she knew what was what, she was thrown into the bushes between the forest and the road. The dragon would have bolted if he had not been stopped by Akitoki Hojo, who was running along the road, pulling a wagon full of ramen noodles behind him.
Kagome soon picked herself up, but she was rather angry, and said to Hojo: "This is ridiculous! I was thrown off and nearly broke my neck! I won't get on that thing ever again. Your cart is another matter: I could pull it along with ease, and have a cup of noodles each day besides! Ah! What I would give for such a cart!"
"You can enjoy all that," said Hojo, his eyes searching longingly at her. "For I don't mind in the least giving you this cart for your dragon."
Kagome agreed with the greatest delight, and Hojo soon swung himself into the saddle, waved goodbye, and rode off.
Kagome pulled the cart quietly behind her, thinking what a lucky bargain she had made: "All I need is chopsticks, and I can have noodles as often as I like, and I can drink the juice when I am thirsty. What more could I want?"
When she came to a hut on the roadside, she stopped, and ate all the food she had with her, and washed it down with a cup of sake, on which she spent her last ryo. The she pulled her cart on towards the well. Her stomach growled, for it was lunchtime, and when Kagome came to a trench which looked hazardous to cross without a bridge, she felt very hungry and tired. "I know," thought Kagome, "I will make myself a cup of noodles." She let go of the handlebars and grabbed a package, then thought for a moment. There was no water around, and she could make no fire. Finally she got frustrated, tripped on a rock, and hit her head so hard that for some time she could not think where she was.
Fortunately for her, Kikyo soon came along with a bow and a quiver of arrows. "What sort of thing have you gotten into, Kagome?" she cried, as she helped poor Kagome to her feet. When Kagome told her what had happened, the priestess handed her a flask and said: "Take a drink, it will revive you. That cart looks much too large to go down the well, and heavy besides. And it is full of enough food to fill a village, but you have no water or fire!"
"Well, well," said Kagome, "who would have thought of that? Certainly it is a fine thing when one can prepare ramen noodles at home; what a feast one has then! But I don't even like ramen that much anyway; I prefer deer meat or something that I can hunt, something fresh!
"Well now," said Kikyo, "for the love of you I will let you have my bow and quiver for your cart of ramen."
"Kami reward you for your kindness!" cried Kagome as she gave up the cart, took the bow and quiver from Kikyo's back, and tied the strap around her torso. Kikyo walked off, also looking satisfied.
Kagome walked on, well pleased with her good luck: all the problems she had were immediately put right. Presently Koga caught up with her, carrying a large slab of meat over one shoulder, and after they had gone through the "My woman!" niceties, Kagome began to talk about her good fortune, and what good bargains she had made. Koga told her that he was carrying the meat to his wolf clan. "Just look at how big this meat is!" he said to Kagome, "and see how heavy it is; it was the fattest deer in the bunch! My boys are in for a real treat!"
"Yes," said Kagome, as she weighed it in her arms. "It's pretty big, but my arrows can catch bigger."
While they were talking, the wolf-demon kept glancing suspiciously around him. "Look here, Kagome," he said at length, "I am not so sure about your bow. You said you got it from Kikyo, right? I am so afraid that you hold a bow that is cursed or poisoned. Many priestesses can do that, and it would do you no good at all if you shot an animal and at its poisoned meat. The best thing you can do is toss it away in some dark hole."
Honest Kagome was terrified. "Goodness," cried she, "do you think Kikyo would do that? I don't know how to get it off my hands, and I need to get home soon! Please, take my bow and arrows and I'll take your slab of meat."
"I shall risk it, to keep you safe, my love." Agreed Koga, and he took the bow and the quiver, and ran away along the road.
Good Kagome, free of worry, walked on homewards with the slab of meat in her arms. "When I think about it," she said to herself. "I have even gained by this exchange: I might not have even found an animal to hunt, and this slab of meat is surely more than what I could have salvaged. How pleased Grandpa and mom and Sota will be!"
As she passed by a lonely hut, there sat an old woman, playing with pretty stones as she sang:
"Magic stones, Magic stones,
heal the flesh, strengthen bones!
When this woman goes to rest,
twice the size of her old breast!"
Kagome stopped and watched, and at length she said: "You must be doing well, for you are so spry and lively at your age."
"Yes," the woman cackled, "being a priestess has a golden lining. A true priestess always find magic to refresh the body and mind when she puts her powers to it! But tell me, where did you hunt such a fine slab of meat?"
"I didn't hunt it," said Kagome, "I exchanged it for my bow and quiver."
"And the bow and quiver?"
"That I got for my cart of ramen."
"And the cart?"
"I exchanged a dragon for it."
"And the dragon?"
"For that I gave the Sacred Jewel lodged in a rock as big as my head."
"And the jewel?"
"That was my prize for traveling the land and dealing with Inuyasha's bad attitude."
"I can see you always knew what to do," said the old priestess; "now, if you could manage to make yourself forever young and spry, your life would be good."
"How can I manage that?" said Kagome.
"You must be a priestess like me; all you need is a magic stone. I have an extra one I don't need, so I will not ask more for it than your meet; are you agreeable?"
"How can you ask?" Replied Kagome; "Why, I shall be the most beautiful and young woman on earth; if I am forever young and spry, why should I ever worry again?" and she handed her the meat and took a stone the size of a tire in exchange.
"And this," continued the priestess, as she dug through her pockets, "this is an ofuda that will grant you luck. Take it, and look after it."
Kagome walked on, singing for joy. "I must have been born under a lucky star," she thought. As she had been on her legs since daybreak, she began to feel very tired, and also very hungry, since the last time she had eaten had been this morning with Inuyasha. The stone weighed her down dreadfully. "It would be nice if I did not have to carry it," she thought, as she dragged herself along. She crept like a snail to a river beside the road, to refresh herself with a cool drink of water, and to rest; she laid the stone carefully on the edge of the river, and sat down next to it, and stooped down to scoop up some water, but first the ofuda slipped out of her pocket, and then the rock fell into the river and was carried off.
When Kagome saw the rock and the ofuda carried off by the current, she jumped for joy for being rid of such a heavy burden so easily.
"I am in luck again!" exclaimed Kagome; "there is no man under the sun as fortunate as I!" Then with a light heart, and free from every burden, she sauntered gaily along until she reached the portal back to her own time.
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A/N: Oh Kagome, you silly, silly girl. Inuyasha would be pissed if he found out! heh