Oh, Boy!
Me: This is my first Quantum Leap crossover, which helps kick off my newest crossover fic!
Dianne: Boy, you ARE crazy about crossovers.
Me: Well, I gotta compensate for not owning stuff.
Doctor Sam Beckett both hated and liked leaping.
He liked it because he got to fix things, put right what had been done wrong, by either his host or something else.
He liked it because he got to see things in someone else's point of view, and, if he didn't know, he could always ask his best friend Al.
He hated it, though, because the leaps were random, so if one minute, he was a fraternity boy who saved his mother's life thanks to Sam, the next, he was a girl who had to dump her boyfriend so she could have a better future.
He hated it, because Al had the tendency to hit on pretty girls, and well...when he leaped into Samantha Stormer once, Sam HAD to glare more at Al.
But hey, what could go wrong?
"Yes! We won! We won! Jakey, WE WON!!" The Blackstone Bears carried Sam (in Jacob "Big Jake" Stonewall's body) onto the shoulders.
"You did it, Sammy! Thanks to you, Jake and Kate are going to have enough money for their baby girl." Al smacked his back, at which moment, Sam felt the familiar feeling.
He was leaping. Light surrounded him as he leaped out of Big Jake's body and into someone else's...
"Elizaveta! You just missed the shot!" The world of light faded away, leaving Sam in someone else's body.
"Wha--?" He was interrupted by a black-haired Filipino girl.
"Great. Thanks to you, we didn't get the shot of Alfred and Arthur kissing! What is WRONG, Elizaveta? You're usually such a great photographer of yaoi!" the girl started admonishing him.
Hearing his friend Al's snicker and wolf whistle behind him, Sam could guess what had happened (again): He had turned into a girl.
"Oh, boy."
"What 'Oh, boy'?! Come on, we've got more yaoi to get!" With that, the young Filipina dragged Sam away.
"Al, tell me about yaoi later!" he yelled as Evalynn Carla Santos gave him a strange look and continued dragging him away.
"When will he know that yaoi is actually the Japanese term for boy-loves-boy?" Al chuckled in response to his own question. "He's going to freak out."
Sam let out a breath, glad that he was able to run away from the (photo) shooting spree, slumping down onto the ground. "God, I can tolerate one guy kissing another, and can be alright with lesbians, but that girl is crazy if she thinks that I will shoot a photo of two guys kissing one another!"
Just as he started to doze off, a hissing sound, just right beside him, suddenly made its presence known. Sam held his head, a headache starting to form.
A portal. A portal was appearing, and it was affecting him badly. He could only watch in awe as people and weird, animal-like things jumped out of the portal.
First, a yellow fuzzy thing with a hat on (and weird hat as well, it was red with a black strip running over and in front, with a blue arch and dot) jumped out quite gracefully, although it looked panicked.
Second, two more fuzzy yellow things, but with no hat, jumped out less gracefully, right on top of the other yellow thing, who yelled, "OW!"
Third, a young, tanned girl around the age of 11 or 12, maybe even 13, slid out, right onto the three yellow, fuzzy things, prompting a "Get off of me!" from the first little weird thing.
Fourth, a blue-haired, light-skinned girl (seemed 10 to him) slid out as well, missing the would-be pile as the first yellow thing stuck its head out. It struck Sam that unlike the other two, this fuzzy thing had expressive eyes and could talk, in the metaphorical sense of the word. And the three fuzzy yellow things seemed familiar too...where did he see them again?
Fifth, a deeply-tanned, closed-eyes kid with weird clothes (come to think of it, the rest of the kids had weird clothes) slipped out, completely missing the two and landing on his front.
And sixth, three people made a heap of the young deeply-tanned boy. In fact, the two humans had all-white uniforms with a red R, but the girl had red hair that actually did this little curl thing, and the boy had purple (or was it blue?) hair. The not-so-human looked like a cat, but it was standing and talking!
Have I gone crazy, or are those people from that anime Pokemon?! Sam rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Where is Al?!
"Look, I have a photo to shoot!" Elizaveta yelled at Gooshie. "If your friend Sam doesn't take care of my body and MY friends--"
"He can and he will! Although he's probably swearing about why he's leaped into a girl again..." Gooshie tilted his head to the right. "He doesn't like it when Al flirts with him."
"Al's a guy. Isn't he?" Now Elizaveta's eyebrow quirked a small bit.
"Yeah. He is. Going for the cute and beautiful girls. Always flirts with them, he does. Sam leaped into your body, which has big bazoombas, and cute everything, so Al's BOUND to go flirting." Gooshie sighed. "Even if he's married, it's going to be a field day for him. He even has a little book."
Elizaveta stifled a giggle. Somehow that sounded crazy. "That guy is married?"
"Yeah. He's an Admiral, that Al Calavicci, and married as well. But, hey, you can't stop the guy."
Elizaveta rolled her eyes. "Sounds like Francis."
"Francis?"
"Yeah, Francis. Only, Francis is more extreme than Al. Francis, he's the type that would try to bed you, and would slip his hand down your butt and touch your sensitive parts if you let him. He'll take boys, girls, homosexuals, metrosexuals, anybody as long as he can touch their you-know-whats. In short, Francis is a pervert. Which suits him, since he's the representation of France. And French people believe they're the experts on love. Oh, yucky. My friend Evalynn, now she's the expert on love. She tells Alfred and Arthur that they don't have to go bedding themselves every day, they just have to open up to each other. Although I don't like her obsession with those Bo Sanchez books..."
"Bo Sanchez?"
"That Catholic preacher in her home. She represents the Philippines, and her people are pretty religious and a little teensy bit superstitious, so, she shares that with them. Whenever a bookstore has a new Bo Sanchez book, she's the first one there. In fact, I even heard she bought National Bookstore out of Bo Sanchez books once. That's how obsessed she is."
Gooshie noted what she had said. Wait a minute.
Did she just say FRANCE? And PHILIPPINES? "What do you represent, Elizaveta."
"I'm the nation of Hungary. Oh, God, I just spilled too much!" Elizaveta clamped her hand over her mouth. "Did anybody catch what I said?"
"I sure did." Ziggy's voice in the room startled Gooshie. "I have the whole conversation."
"Great. So that means I nailed my own coffin. Better put in the final nail." Elizaveta crossed her arms. "We're not just representations. Every single one of my friends are nations. We're tied into the map's lands. So the little tiny nation in Southeast Asia, that's the Philippines, where Evalynn resides. It's hot there, especially in the summer. And Francis, he's France, so he always tries to go nude in front of all of us. Lucky for us, Poland beats him to it by dressing up as a girl."
Gooshie's eye twitched.
"Poland?"
"Yeah. Feliks, that's Poland to you, he's always dressing up as a girl. A few times he even tried on some of Evalynn's historical dresses and Lidalila Neda's, Iran's her country name, stuff. He's way into cosplaying, since you get to dress up like an anime character. Classically, he goes for girls like Misty, May, Dawn, Sailor Moon..." Elizaveta had not even finished when Al entered.
"Boy, oh, boy, it's a good thing you're in Sam's body, because if you were in yours..." he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Aren't you married?" Elizaveta asked.
Al felt his cheeks grow hot. "Gooshie, you told her?"
"Yes, sir, I did. She told us a lot, sir, as well."
"Stop calling me sir."
Hungary rolled her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. "America, or Alfred, and his boyfriend England, call him Arthur, they've got respective things. Alfred's scared easily of ghosts and Arthur claims he can see magical things! Evalynn's the only one who believes him, maybe 'cause she has a 'diwata' and a 'headless priest ghost' in her house. Never believes those alien myths, though. Maybe 'cause she doesn't HAVE any aliens, just ghosts and magical people. Weirdos." She chuckled to herself.
"Well, thanks for the information!" Al hurriedly made his exit.
Ash could not believe the bad luck he had gotten. First, he had transformed into a Pikachu. Second, Q interrupted (well, that was one bright spot, Dawn and Brock had to stifle their laughter) and gave everything back, and now some stupid portal opened up, paused his universe and landed them somewhere where Pokemon didn't exist, according to his girlfriend.
Who was now staring directly at a man (fifty-ish?) wearing a dress.
The fifty-ish man stared at him, scaring Ash. What the heck was going on?
The man's head suddenly turned right. "Al, what's going on? I just lie down on a tree and some portal opens up and dumps kids with Pokemon!"
Ash's jaw dropped. Al was wearing a blue-skulls tie, pink-and-red jacket, plain white shirt, and long, fringed, green cowboy jeans. And his hand had passed right through the tree!
Dianne's eyes seemed wider than wide. Did she see the man in the dress and Al?
"Sam Beckett? Why are you in a girl's body? And are you talking to Al?" she asked, as Dawn's eyes also widened.
"Who's the guy in the dress?" Dawn asked at the same time Dianne said, "That's Sam Beckett, and his hologram friend, Admiral Albert Calavicci, must be here!"
Ash raised an eyebrow that disappeared under his hat. "How did you know?" he asked.
"You guys remember, right? That I'm from another universe where all of you are fictional? Especially Sam and his friend Al?"
The man in the dress (Sam, probably) just looked at Al and said the one thing that Ash felt.
"Oh, boy."
Me: Yeah, I know, not my best work. Don't ask. I had a deadline.
Dianne: I finally, finally, FINALLY get a reappearance.
Me: Oh, shut up.
END NOTES/REFERENCES
Pokemon (and kids) can see Sam for who he really is, as well as Al. Since Ash was transformed into a Pikachu (ASHACHU! WHEEEEEEE!), he can see Al and Sam. Dianne can't, but she knows, since she does come from another universe.
Elizaveta spilled so easily because she was nervous. Who wouldn't be, when you see a fifty-ish man in the mirror instead of you?