So here I am, writing yet another parody for a random video game which I wasted hours of my life on to complete. Ready or not, here comes the story!
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"SUPER PSYCHO KITTY ATTACK!" shouted the young woman as she leapt into the air and slashed the claws protruding from her hands down towards her opponent. The man yelped and barely managed to block the blow, the force from it sending him flying backwards. The woman was after him in a second, deftly pinning the man to the ground. He panted as he yelled out,
"Okay okay! You win all ready! Get off of me, Rylenthia!" The woman who bore said name narrowed her eyes down at her opponent. She puffed out her lower lip and asked in a whiney voice,
"How do I know you're not just going to attack me when I let you up, Woo-Woo?" Jing Woo rolled his eyes and sighed before replying. He shifted slightly and said slowly,
"I won't attack you, I promise." Rylenthia seemed to consider this, cupping her hand to her chin in thought. She blinked and finally got off of Jing Woo and proceeded to break-dance, all the while yelling out,
"WHOO HOO! I AM THE MIGHTY KITTY MONSTER OF DEATH! ALL TREMBLE IN FEAR AT MY AMAZING BREAK-DANCING SKILLS, WHICH ARE FAR SUPERIOR TO GAO-GAO'S BREAK-DANCING SKILLS!" Jing Woo chuckled lightly as he pushed himself up. For all of the senior student's insanity, she was actually quite good at fighting. Damn good in fact. He glanced over towards the building where Master Li lived, smiling as he saw the Master looking at Rylenthia.
"Hey, Ren? Master Li is watching you." Woo said quietly, motioning towards the Master. Rylenthia stopped dancing and stared over at Li, her eyes practically bulging out of her head. Her jaw dropped and the Master wisely decided to retreat to the safety of his abode. Rylenthia let out a strangled screech and yelled out,
"AHHHHH! MY AWESOME BREAK-DANCING SKILLS WERE OBSERVED BY MASTER LI-LA-LOO! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS DON'T YOU!" She then whirled around and jabbed Jing Woo in his stomach with one of her fingers, a wild look in her eyes. Woo backed away slightly, looking around nervously.
"Uhh…no. What does it mean?" he replied, hoping Rylenthia wasn't about to temporarily lose whatever sanity she had left. The last time that had happened, it took the whole school, including Master Li and Smiling Mountain, to restrain her. In the time that it took to stop her wild attack however, she had utterly destroyed several buildings around the training area. As far as Woo knew, Rylenthia was still paying off the damages. Woo was brought out of his musing by Rylenthia hissing,
"It means that he will begin break-dancing and steal my awesome title of 'Da Bestest Break-Dancer Around'!" The thought of the old Master break-dancing was too much for Jing Woo to handle. He snorted, than began to laugh, further distressing the young woman. Her eyes began to water and her lip started trembling. Jing Woo forced himself to stop laughing, and he put a hand on Rylenthia's shoulder. He grinned at her and said,
"Don't worry Rylenthia, Master Li wouldn't do that to you. He was just admiring your skills." Rylenthia's eyes lit up and she cocked her head to a side, staring at Jing Woo.
"You sure?" she asked. Jing Woo nodded in answer and began to walk out of the training ring. Before he could get out, he was tackled from behind as Rylenthia launched herself at the younger student and gave him a crushing bear hug.
"Woo-Woo is nice! I'll spar with you again if you want, as a way to thank you!" Rylenthia offered as she released Jing Woo. He paled and stood up, shaking his head. Rylenthia seemed hurt by this refusal, and gave Woo a withering glare. He cringed and managed to stammer out,
"Uhhh, I can't spar with you because you have to go see Master Li. He wanted to talk to you…" Rylenthia blinked and stared over at Master Li's house. After a moment's thought, she trotted briskly over towards the building. She waved cheerfully at several students as she passed them, smiling with delight as they waved back at her instead of holding up one of their fingers at her as Gao the Lesser generally did. Rylenthia had yet to figure out the meaning behind such a gesture, as no one at the school was willing to tell her. When she had finally asked Gao what it meant, he had only smirked and walked off, obviously happy that he knew something she didn't.
"Typical!" she heard someone mutter. She snapped her head up to see who had managed to approach her without her knowledge, and felt the top of her head slam into something rather hard. She let out a yelp of pain and leapt several feet away, rubbing her head with vigor. Rylenthia glared up to see what the offending object was that dared harm her skull and spotted Gao the Lesser standing there rubbing his chin, a scowl upon his face.
"Great, out of all the people to run into, I have to run into you," Gao snarled, glaring at Rylenthia. When she didn't reply, he scowled and continued,
"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" There was still no reply from the woman. Gao growled and stalked towards Rylenthia, his eyes promising murder.
"REPLY, DAMN IT!" Gao yelled. Rylenthia blinked, stared directly into Gao's eyes, and then stated,
"You are a very ugly man." The manner at which she said this last thing suggested that she had very recently figured this bit of knowledge out and was anxious to share it with the rest of the world. Gao's jaw dropped at her audacity. Rylenthia giggled at the look upon Gao's face and strode past him, patting him on the shoulder as she did so.
"Don't worry! Beauty is only skin deep, Gao-Gao!" Rylenthia said encouragingly, then paused and seemed to ponder something. She blinked and continued,
"Well I guess in that case you would have about as much appeal as a disfigured wombat." She shrugged and cheerfully skipped up the steps that lead to Master Li's house, Gao staring after her. He could hardly believe his ears, no one DARED to call him ugly unless they wanted a sudden and rather tragic end to their life. Yet that…that…IDIOT had not only insulted him once, she had done so twice!
"Oooooh she'll pay…she and all the rest of you pathetic FOOLS! JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE!" Gao yelled out, earning himself some startled glances from the surrounding students. They averted their eyes abruptly as he glared towards them, and they proceeded to act as if Gao the Lesser did not exist.
Gao began to storm off, thinking to himself. Most people thought of Rylenthia as a beautiful, if crazy, young woman. For one odd reason or another, Rylenthia could only be seen in light purple clothing. The outfit she usually wore consisted of a light purple top, the sleeves extending to her elbows. Small ribbons of periwinkle silk trailed off of the shoulder area of this top, flying behind her like small banners whenever she walked. Whatever purpose those things served in battle was the object of many debates for the students, although Gao thought she just had them because she thought they were pretty.
Her leggings were, you guessed it, light purple and cut off at her knees. They had intricate patterns swirling all along them that came together to form a phoenix with its wings outstretched. Her shoes were simple sandals, a gift from the cobbler upon her twentieth birthday. Gao's eyes narrowed, HE hadn't gotten any presents from any of the villagers, yet Rylenthia had gifts showered upon her. This, of course, pissed Gao off something fierce.
When Gao had first arrived in Two Rivers, he had immediately spotted Rylenthia and had, for a while, pondered on the question of whether or not to woo her. As soon as he saw her lunacy as well as her skill, he had lost all interest in her. He had no need for a wife that might be able to surpass him in skill.
Dawn Star was the next logical choice, as she was beautiful as well as slightly weaker than he himself. Yet, all his advances on the young woman had been in vain. Nothing seemed to impress the young woman, which left Gao annoyed and confused. Most of the time he had to just merely mention his vast collection of wealth and he had girls lining up to see him. His eyes narrowed in anger, the peasants here were far too arrogant for their own good. (A/N: I detect a hint of irony here…).
Gao blinked as a younger student ran past him, a panicked look in his eyes. "What is going on?" Gao the Lesser asked. The student stopped long enough to yell out something about bandits before taking off again, charging straight for the building that housed Master Li. Gao shrugged and found himself walking towards the garden that Dawn Star had planted. Maybe this time she would actually give him a favorable response…
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After leaving Gao behind, Rylenthia had dove into Master Li's building, ducking behind whatever could provide shelter from being spotted. Right now she was squatting behind a giant pot that held a plant, looking through the leaves of said plant. She grinned evilly to herself and launched herself out from behind the pot and attempted to tackle the passing Master Li.
"MASTER LI-LA-LOO!" she shouted happily, blinking to herself as she saw the older man deftly dodge out of the way of her path with practiced ease. She squealed and managed to land on her feet instead of her head and glared up at the smirking Master.
"No fair! No dodging allowed!" she whined, scowling. Master Li rose an eyebrow down at her and pointed out calmly,
"If I wasn't allowed to dodge, you would've tackled me long ago." Rylenthia digested this piece of knowledge and nodded. She stood up and asked,
"So, what did you want to see me for?" Master Li motioned for her to follow him and began to walk off. She trotted cheerfully behind him, humming softly to herself. They entered the unofficial conference room and both sat down across from one another. Master Li regarded his student and took a breath to steady himself as he prepared to tell her things he had kept secret from her for the twenty years of her life. He looked her square in the eye and said,
"I now believe you are old enough to know your origin…in other words, where you came from." He added the last part hastily as he saw Rylenthia give him a confused look as he had said 'origin'. No doubt she was would have made some comment about whether he or not he meant the musical instrument or the intestines and whatnot inside of her body. He sighed and thought, 'Just how am I going to explain this to her so she will understand?'. After a few seconds of thought, he began again. "Now listen to me very carefully. You are…"
The next second, a younger student burst into the room. Rylenthia screamed out something about 'stalkers' and deftly tackled the student. Master Li quickly grabbed Rylenthia and forced her off of the younger student. She scowled and proceeded to sulk in a corner of the room, glaring at the wall dejectedly. Master Li rolled his eyes and regarded the younger student,
"What happened?" he asked. The student looked up at the Master and replied breathlessly,
"Bandits…at the beach. Kia Min was injured, the bandits will attack Two Rivers soon…" Master Li blinked and looked over at Rylenthia who was mumbling to herself sulkily. He scowled and said,
"Rylenthia, you need to go to the beach and help stop the bandits. I must attend to my fallen student. Take Dawn Star with you, and be sure to stop by Gujin's shop to get a weapon I have left in his safe-keeping. Now go!" With that, he grabbed Rylenthia by the collar of her shirt and tossed her outside of the building.
Rylenthia landed on her hands and knees, looking around confusedly. One minute she was having a rather nice conversation with the wall, and the next she was outside. She stood up and dusted herself off, trying to remember the things that Master Li had been telling her. She grinned to herself happily as she remembered she was supposed to find Dawn Star and Gujin and after that was done, go beat up some bad-bad bandits. She began to skip off towards Dawn Star's garden, hoping her best friend would be there.
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And there you have it, the first chapter. It was rather fun to write, and I hoped you enjoyed it. Until next time then…