"Most people didn't know how I first met Jonathan Archer. It was assumed that I didn't meet him until I was assigned to the Enterprise, but that's simply not true.

I met Jonathan in San Francisco in the year 2145. That was a tough year for me, what with trying to (legally) change my name from Melanie to Malcolm, starting on testosterone, and finally joining Starfleet. It was slightly weird to be introduced to Jonathan, by a superior officer I didn't know very well and wasn't really out to, as Melanie, especially since as soon as the officer left us alone I told Jon, "Call me Malcolm."

I hadn't started on testosterone yet, so my voice was still rather high and I still appeared very feminine. I was worried that he would immediately reject me, because despite it being the 22nd century and things had progressed so much in the last one hundred year there were still plenty of bigots out there. To my immense gratitude Jonathan was very accepting and the two of us quickly became friends. It wasn't even a month later that we began dating. He was such a gentleman, always making sure that I was comfortable with whatever was going on, helping me get out of situations I wasn't comfortable in. I always appreciated being around him, and I always appreciated around him. And not once did he misgender me.

Well, things got heated between us, not in an angry way- no it was most definitely in a sexy sort of way. And I had always been comfortable with vaginal penetration, and since anal penetration squicked me out that's what we did. And we used both kind of condoms. I wasn't on birth control because the thought of it just messed with my head. But despite using all of the condoms properly, I still managed to get pregnant.

I think I handled it pretty well despite the circumstances. Jonathan, however, did not. We talked about it, and he just was not ready to be a father. So I let him out. We broke up and I carried on being pregnant, and trying to not let the dysphoria get to me. I made it to the spring of 2146, when my daughter was born. She looked just like Jonathan.

Now, he wasn't absent by any stretch of the imagination. Jonathan came a saw her a few times a week, and while things were a little tense between us, they weren't horrible. And little Jessie loved it when Uncle Jon (as he insisted on being called) came to visit.

It was in 2149 that Jonathan was assigned captaincy of the Enterprise. Coincidentally, he was made her captain the same day that I (finally) started on testosterone. I had thought that this would be the end of Jessie and I seeing Jonathan on any sort of a regular basis, but while his visits definitely lessened in frequency he never totally stopped coming to see us. He even delivered the news that he wanted me to be his armory officer in person. Of course he understood if I declined, what with Jessie and all, but I spoke with my sister and she was more than happy with moving to the States to raise my daughter while I was in space. I've often felt guilty, both about disrupting my sister's life and leaving my child with a woman she's only met over video. The frequent communications I had with them since this voyage began has been enough to remind myself that I did the best for my career and the two women closest to me are happy and proud of me for following my dream.

It is now 2151, and while Jonathan and I are back together, our relationship is relaxed in private- no too deep topics mentioned, though surprisingly marriage has been mentioned- and professional in public. The majority of the crew, save for the senior staff know that Jonathan and I had a relationship before Enterprise or that we are in a relationship now.

I realize that this is not in fact a letter to anyone in particular, but it is just something that I needed to get off my chest."

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed slumped back in the pilot chair of Shuttlepod One and let out a heavy sigh. He could feel Commander Tucker's eyes on him, and very slowly turned to look at him. The engineer was staring at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed.

"Yes, Commander?" Malcolm asked, his tone clipped and voice rough.

Trip shook his head. "It's nothing. I just didn't realize you were leaving a kid behind. I'm sorry."

Malcolm sighed and closed his eyes, tipping his head up to face the shuttlepod's ceiling. "Thank you."

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Disclaimer: I don't anything having to do with Star Trek: Enterprise or any other Star Trek series, and am not profiting in anyway from this story.