Master of darkness, keeper of truth,
I open my soul to your will;
Last time, Ray had panicked and broke the spell when its weight dropped onto his shoulders. But this time, he welcomed it. Kneeling in submission, he reveled as the unnamed force crept down his spine like lanky, wandering fingers, encircling his torso. He knew that nothing was physically there, at least of this world. Had he been transposed to the Other? It was too dark to tell, but he still felt the cold stone floor under his knees and the spell book beneath his hand. The floor trembled, and the chalk circle around him glowed: Not a light, but a dark, purple-black, spiraling upward from the ancient words he had scratched on the floor. Ray squeezed his eyes shut. He pressed his hand firmly against the tome, fingers curled around its edge, his jagged nails scratching the pages.
By your power, I freely accept your...
"Brother! I'm back!"
Lugh's voice sounded far away, though his brother stood mere feet from where he knelt. Blast it, Lugh, he thought, as his mind unraveled the spell. He watched the darkness retreat as he released his grip on the tome. The pressure slowly crept away from his body, shedding like a second skin.
"Brother?"
Don't come closer. I wouldn't be able to save you. I'm not strong enough.
But he felt the slow tread of his twin brother's feet through the floorboards.
Ray's eyes finally snapped open. "What have I said about interrupting my work?" He sighed heavily and slammed the tome shut, wiping a sleeve across his sweating brow.
He glared up through his wayward fringe and immediately regretted his tone. Lugh stood right outside his chalk circle, wide eyes watering as he bit down on his lower lip. He clutched a brown sack in his quivering hands. "I- I brought dinner," he squeaked, holding out the bag.
Ray's body still felt heavy as he rose from the floor. He shuffled his stocking feet in his approach, deliberately erasing parts of the circle in his path. Not that Lugh would be able to understand it, but just in case…
"Thanks," he mumbled.
Lugh quickly swept a hand across his wet cheek, but smiled as he playfully tugged at Ray's sleeve. There were still traces of tears lining his childlike eyes. "Come on, I bet you haven't eaten all day."
It was true, and Ray was suddenly aware of his empty stomach. As they settled on the floor, Lugh tried his hardest to maintain a sense of a normal household: The empty sack served as a makeshift tablecloth, and he spread out the food like it was on display at a royal banquet . Supper was the usual fare—a loaf of day-old bread, a bruised apple, a hunk of cheese with the moldy parts sawed off. Chad to the rescue, again. Ray smiled.
Lugh knew exactly what his brother had been doing, and he felt a literal ache in his chest the moment he walked in. It was easy to feign innocence; he never quite lost it, even after the war. But how could someone, especially your twin brother, believe you never changed? Not once did Ray take the time to understand, nor did he make an effort to.
But Lugh couldn't help it—he was embarrassed that he had actually cried when Ray looked up. It was the first time he hadn't recognized his brother. His eyes were too dark, too distant. He thought he had lost him this time.
But he was grateful to see Ray eating. Most days, he wouldn't eat anything unless Lugh forced him. It was the only time they were both vulnerable, when they were filling their bellies. It was the only time he felt comfortable asking him anything.
So, um…" Lugh stammered. He blurted out something before he could be interrupted. "What are you learning now? More new things from Master Niime?"
Ray took a long time to respond, chewing his bread slowly. He gouged at the cheese with his fingernails to break off a piece. "Yeah. She's happy with my progress." He snorted. "Well, happy as she can be."
"Are you going to visit her again soon?"
Ray nodded. "I have to. There's this part I can't…" He stopped, looking back down at the cheese in his hands. It was obvious that he didn't plan to continue.
Lugh should've replied with, That's great! or, But you're good, so you can learn quickly! But he didn't feel the sentiment at all. He hated Niime. He hated the way she had talked to his brother during the war, and he hated how Ray traveled to the mountains by himself for training. Leaving him behind.
It was an early night for Lugh; he had started the day long before the sun had risen. But he was grateful for it. For the first time, he was afraid of his brother. He couldn't shake the image of those empty eyes from his mind. Where had he gone? They were twins; they were supposed to understand each other explicitly, without the need for words. But it had been a long, long time since Lugh had felt that.
Ray stared at the cabin's ceiling, wide awake, listening to Lugh's steady breathing beside him. All during the meal, he could still feel remnants of the spell on his shoulders, teasing him. He could master this. Niime told him how, and he couldn't go back before understanding it. She'd probably whack the back of his hands with a stick.
He quietly scuttled to the circle, redrawing the lines he erased earlier. He didn't need to read the spell book anymore, knowing the ancient words by memory, but he set the tome before him as a matter of ritual. His mind flashed to a conversation with Niime. Her sons: Three of them fell to the darkness, never returning. It was meant to be a warning, but he laughed. They were weak, Ray had answered, and Niime almost smiled.
But I'm not, he said, furiously flipping through the tome. He slammed a hand down on the chosen page, covering the text he knew so well. He briefly glanced at his brother huddled in the corner. They didn't even have a mattress. Lugh hugged his knees to his chest, his yellow cloak doubling as a blanket. Ray kept his voice down.
Master of darkness, keeper of truth...
The weight of the magic returned. It felt warm this time: comforting, welcoming. It was the first time he had heard a voice.
Welcome home, brother. What it is you seek?
He replied without hesitation, as Niime had taught him, keeping his voice low. "I seek the truth, master. Grant me the power of your world."
The pressure wasn't gradual this time. It enfolded his body like a vice, leaving him gasping for air as it squeezed his throat. His fingers curled against the edge of the tome as he body shuddered. It was not fear. It was exhilaration. Triumph. Darkness swiftly fell like a curtain around him; whether he opened his eyes or not he could see nothing. The Other was a void, but it was home, and he stretched his neck upward in acceptance.
No. You're not ready.
Ray's body slackened, his eyes narrowed in anger. "What are you talking about? I am ready!"
But there was no reply, and the room quickly returned to its ordinary state. It threw him into a shock, but he couldn't move. He again saw the glint of moonlight through the window, the floor beneath him, and felt a pressure on his back. Confused, he twisted his head.
"Lugh, what in the—?" His brother's arms were locked around his neck, his sobs deafening beside his ear. "Get off!"
"No!" Lugh clutched him tighter. "Stop it! I hate this!"
Ray pulled at Lugh's arms, but they were held fast around him. "Lugh, cut it out. Stop crying like a baby."
"I won't let you do this," he said, his voice small, resting his chin on Ray's shoulder. "Every time you open that book, I lose you. I don't know you anymore." He relaxed his grip, but wouldn't release his hug. "You're the only family I have."
Ray tilted his head back in defeat, feeling the damp of his brother's cheek against his own. They both knew he would return to the mountain. But he reached behind him to grasp the back of his brother's head, pulling it closer. Lugh buried his face in his brother's neck, tears dripping onto Ray's skin.
"Promise me, Ray." Lugh's voice was muffled.
No. You're not ready.