CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?

Written by: HARU
Written on: 04/10/2016

A/N: kinda Kuroko-centric? It revolved around Kuroko's thoughts and basically how he saw the world as time passed by. Things are repetitive, such as him meeting aomine etc. Nothing changes, it's the same canon storyline but I simply just added a little back-story where Kuroko meets Akashi by accident when he was younger.

Words in italic are to emphasize but if it's the whole dialogue emphasized it's usually a dialogue that has been said before and kinda like a recurring memory. If it does not have quotation mark then it's a little snippet of Kuroko's thoughts. If it has no quotation marks and is inside a bold and italic open and closed parenthesis it's another person's thoughts. Bold is also used to emphasize.

Anyways this is my entry for AkaKuro Week Day 1(High School AkaKuro)! Prompt: Memories

TRIGGER WARNING: Family Argument, Divorce Mention.

— ( 赤黒. )

"I just wanted to see you again."

— ( 赤黒. )

KUROKO'S POV

I never realized how complicated analyzing someone was when I met him. I've always excelled in human observation but when I met him, I couldn't figure him out at all. He wasn't like me that had weak presence, or wore a blank expression but rather, he was an entirely different entity. I felt as if we were in two different worlds.

The first time I saw him was when he was riding on a beautiful white horse. I never knew someone so rich that they had a horse in their residence. I was a little envious at first because I've always wanted a horse too but I never told my parents because I knew that'd be greedy of me to ask such expensive things.

One night I ran away from home. I was just six years old when my parents got into a heated argument. They always fight but they usually make up afterwards but their argument seemed so deep that they mention something about "Divorce". Of course I didn't know that, heck I was just six years old—a child in short. But I knew it wasn't a good thing. I could see tears from my mother's eyes and my father who always wore a cool expression had an enraged expression I never knew I'd see. I tried to call out to them but they were too busy arguing, perhaps my weak presence affects them too. I cried and ran away.

I didn't bring anything with me, just my heavy emotions and tears. I didn't even care if I'd get hit by a car—the chances were high, after all they wouldn't notice a person like me.

I cried, and cried—I felt so cold that night. Pale white snow fell from the night sky and I couldn't help but shiver. The more I ran the safer if felt. When I stopped running I saw myself in front of a huge gate. I was mesmerized by how huge the place was; there were even body guards!

With my weak presence and small height I knew I could sneak in, just to find some heat. A part of me still wanted to live even if the other part kept on screaming the other way around. I looked around and walked more until I found myself getting lost. I didn't know how to get back to where I entered and I was sure I couldn't ask anyone, they might arrest me or worse send me to my parents. I don't want them to hate me; I don't want to fuel their heated argument. I felt myself crying again. The place was so huge and it felt like a maze with such huge walls. I was whimpering and sobbing as he curled up into a ball. I hugged my knees as I let my tears fall.

There was nothing but the silent wind and my faint crying that could be heard but then I heard the neighing of a horse. I looked up and wiped my tears. I've never seen a horse up close and it didn't sound like a horse from the television. I got up and stood back on my two feet and tried to find the source of the sound. It was still scary since I was alone, my legs were shivering and my fingers were trembling as I bit my lower lip in frustration.

I seemed to have found a way out and I peeked to see what was on the other side. My eyes widened when I saw a beautiful white horse but more than that I was captivated by the boy riding the horse. He had the most beautiful crimson red hair and his eyes were intimidating and held such superiority. He felt like a god-like existence. The perfect posture he had made me feel weak, it was as if by just a single glance you couldn't help but bow down and look up at him.

When I narrowed my eyes to observe him I was surprised. I couldn't analyze him at all. The way he moved, the way he talked—they all seemed practiced. He was like a robot that has been built from the inside out. I watched him for almost an hour and he didn't make a single mistake. I felt so frightened after seeing how he continuously did such hard training but after seeing the man in a tuxedo nearby I could see now why the boy with red hair was so focused on doing it right.

He wasn't allowed to make mistakes.

The man under the shade was cold, ruthless and strict. He was like a demon or perhaps a monster. Maybe that was too dehumanizing but truth to be told he could be titled as a tyrant; a coldblooded dictator.

I wanted to pity him but somehow it felt as if he didn't need anyone's sympathy. He looked perfectly fine but I know he wasn't. I couldn't just figure him out. He was so complicated that it frustrated me. I've always guessed what people might think or do next, I've excelled in human observation and yet I could even write at least a single date about this boy. He was too mysterious.

But one thing I knew, he wasn't genuinely happy. I could see it from those cold eyes of his. There was an underlying sadness that wasn't noticeable but if one would look closely, there was a hint of sorrow that lingered.

On that day I saw him as a king that can't be reached by mere humans. He was a king who wore a crown made of gold and decorated in diamonds and a thick red cape that wrapped around his shoulders. He had a throne that was made only for him, a throne no one must touch. He was an existence far too different from humans.

Three hours later when the strange boy had finished his horse riding lessons I knew I had to resume finding my way back to the exit but somehow I couldn't help but continue to watch him until he was gone from my sight. I admired the way he walked, how his back was so straight and his chin held up high. His gaze was straight; only looking at where he was going and not letting the world distract him, however he stopped which surprised the butler next to him and me as well.

He glanced at the back and for a second we had an eye contact. There were no words exchanged however I could feel myself weakening at his cold gaze. He turned his gaze once more and had completely left my sight. I shivered a little after experiencing such a daunting eye contact. It felt as if a ton of metal was dropped on my tiny body.

But fear aside, I was surprised that he noticed my presence. I never knew he had sharp senses and it just made him much more interesting. He was no ordinary human. He was no ordinary child. He was no ordinary wealthy being. He was no ordinary well-trained student. He had transcended what was ordinary.

After that it took me at least two hours to find an exit but even if I was focusing on where I have to go I couldn't help but keep on getting distracted by the boy I saw a while ago.

I asked myself repetitively, "Who was he?"

I wanted to meet him again. I really wanted to know him more but the chances of meeting him once again was small. The possibility was not zero, however it was still considered impossible. He seemed like a child of a very wealthy family so of course he'd be in a school for wealthy children, a school where only the best could attend.

Before I collapsed in the middle of the street I was held by a pair of arms. I blamed my weak body and the cold night. I looked up and made eye contact with familiar red hues. I was feeling dizzy that my consciousness felt like it was going away ever so slowly. I could see his lips move but I couldn't catch what he said. Before I knew it I had fallen unconscious.

When I woke up I saw myself in my room. I wondered if last night was just a dream but when I looked at my arms I saw a few scratches and band aids. I knew where they were from—after getting lost in that odd household I've been stung by a number of thorned roses by accident.

I removed the blankets and I tried to get out of bed when my mother suddenly barged in my room and gave me such a tight hug that I could feel myself losing air. She was crying and I couldn't help but cry as well. She was apologizing repetitively and reassured me that everything would turn alright. She was so sorry for her immature acts and the fact that she didn't even bother looking at me when I called out to them she was so guilty about it. After that father entered my room and gave me a tight hug. He apologized and cried as well. He was so ashamed of himself arguing with mother while I was there.

I was happy, I was truly happy that they were back to normal. It was so unnerving when they were fighting like it was their last time they'd fight.

I gave them a tight hug back and smiled. But even so, my mind couldn't help but wander off while thinking about that boy. He saved me but why?

I wanted to ask him that, maybe fate will be kind.

— ( 赤黒. )

It's been six years since that incident and now I'm going to enter a famous school, Teiko Academy. I studied hard just to enter this school and I was relieved that I was able to pass all the tests. It was my first year to enter middle school and I've heard that the basketball team here was extremely good and I trained myself as hard as I could so I could be in the team. After all, I did promise a dear friend of mine that once we enter middle school we'll be facing each other on the court but in different sides.

When I realized that the basketball club had three strings I was devastated to know that I was placed in the last string. I felt hopeless for a second but I knew I shouldn't give up; I should train harder in hopes that someday I'll be promoted to the second string.

After the second string members were announced I thought that the day would have ended but I was wrong. When the teacher had mentioned the students who got into the first string I was surprised. I had weak presence so I made my way to the side and saw four distinct students. They had colorful and odd hair but when I laid my eyes on a familiar red head I couldn't help but feel certain warmth towards him.

Day after day I practice all alone in the third gym after the schedules practices. Somehow I couldn't just get any better. If I had to rate my shooting skills it'd be three over ten. It's not even acceptable to be in the third string, I began to wonder if I was considered to be in the third string out of pity but nevertheless I continued on practicing. I kept on messing up my dribbles and I was extremely slow. It felt hopeless but I never lost hope because I knew the chance of being promoted wasn't zero. Even if it was just a point one percent it was still not zero.

Somehow while I was in the middle of practice someone showed up. I guess he was trying to find the ghost playing basketball in the third gym. I saw a few other students try to come and see the ghost as well but after getting inside they immediately leave out of fear. Was my presence that low? I didn't mind but it was hard to find a partner to help me practice.

The person I met was Aomine Daiki, one of the first year students who were able to make their way to the first string. I instantly became friends with him and it was difficult to catch up with his skills, and I knew that it was a long path to be the same as him. I couldn't help but feel appreciated when he acknowledged my skills.

After months of practicing with him I began to realize that I wasn't getting any better, and if I was then it wasn't enough but when I look at Aomine-kun, I could see the evident progress she has made over the months we've practiced together. I was talked to by a teacher that I should just quite the basketball club and I knew that from that day on I don't think there was any hope left for me.

I went to the third gym and saw Aomine-kun practicing and waiting for me. I gave him a melancholic expression and told him that I was going to quit basketball. I told him how I loved basketball but there was no chance of me being able to stand in the court with him, there's simply no more hope.

Before Aomine-kun could've continued speaking suddenly three familiar people entered the room. They were also the other first years who were able to enter the first string, I'd have to admit I was envious but I knew that they were far different from me. I looked at a certain red head and I couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity towards him, did I meet him before? I couldn't remember but it feels like I have. My memories have become hazy already and it's making me a little light headed however I didn't let it lose my composure.

When Aomine-kun had pointed out my presence the three were surprised, it was to be expected though. I made eye contact with the red head and I felt as if I have made eye contact with those crimson red hues already yet it feels a little different. The red hues I remember were cold and had an underlying sadness—that was from what I could remember whereas these red hues had warmth and softness.

His eyes began to brim with amusement and interest, when he said something about my hidden talent I was surprised and the others were astounded as well. I never expected someone to tell me that I had a hidden ability, more so it had just given me hope once again.

He introduced himself and his name was Akashi Seijurou. I felt my heart ache and my stomach twist in pain. My mind felt like it was ripped apart as I subconsciously tried to remember him.

"I'm interested in you."

When he told me that I could feel that I've heard those exact same words before, but when?

I took note of his words and researched about my hidden ability. I read books about magic tricks and realized that perhaps I could apply it to my style. If I had weak presence then perhaps I could do passes? I've never been good in dribbling or shooting or anything in general but I'm sure I could manage some good passes.

I polished it and in no time I was in the first string along with the other first years that became first string players. They even became starters. It felt so amazing to be on the same court as them. A little overwhelming but somehow it made me happy that on the day I lost hope someone came and gave me hope. It was as if he gave me another chance to live—

Another chance to live?

"I'm interested in you"

Beautiful crimson red hair and eyes that was as red as rubies. There was a boy who seemed to be around my age, he sat on his saddle and rode and a dazzling white horse. He looked like a prince—or perhaps a king. It was as if he wore a cape only fit for a king. A crown made of gold and decorated in the most beautiful diamonds and his clothes made of the best leather available.

One cold winter night I felt myself slowly dying, my hands were cold and nothing warm was left of me. I knew I'd die by freezing to death but suddenly I was enveloped by an unfamiliar warmth.

Beautiful fiery red hair that matched blazing red eyes that could simply just set me to flames in a second.

Could it be? That he was the boy I saw when I was six years old? The boy who saved me from freezing? The boy who I can't figure out?

— ( 赤黒. )

Before I knew it time had passed by so much that we were already in our last year of middle school but even so that didn't change my feels for a certain red head.

Ever since I remembered him my feelings of admiration towards him blossomed into love. I concealed my naïve feelings and told myself that he was a precious friend and I couldn't let that slip away. I continued to admire him and observe him but it was no use, I could never get him. He was far too difficult to understand, it was as if he didn't want anyone to understand him at all.

However, things have changed since then. I never saw him smile when I sneaked into his household. He always had such a cold and unapproachable demeanor. Even if he still had a superior and unreachable aura one could say that he had also radiated warmth. He smiled a friendly and genuine one. Something I've never seen. It made my heart so weak that it was no long emotionally painful but physically painful.

Ever since I've been able to in the first string and play official games I've felt closer with the rest of them and in addiction to that a new member joined the first string as well. He was annoying, but he was a good friend. We all got along well despite the difference in our personalities. Some of us weren't compatible with each other but that's what makes a group of friends interesting, right?

We won game after game and it felt as if we had reached a professional level. I've noticed how everyone gradually changed; their abilities had become stronger and more dangerous as if it was a hidden blade in their own bodies. It felt terrifying; the thought of them leaving—I couldn't help but pray that it wouldn't happen. I didn't want them to leave; I didn't want to be left alone in the shadows again. I wanted us to stay together—forever.

But I was wrong, even with prayers and naïve wishes such pitiful desires cannot be answered. Our friendship broke and the way we played basketball was no longer fun. It was cold and selfish. They all have changed, however—someone's change had affected me greatly.

I remember how Akashi-kun had become a completely different person. I could sense it, he was easier to read, the more menacing aura he emitted and the evident confidence in his expression was truly ominous. It made my heart sink.

"W-Who are you?"

Who was he?

Was he a shadow of his own creation?

"Hm? I am the one and only, Akashi Seijurou, of course."

Perhaps he was a person that hid behind the King's curtains.

The golden crown had been tainted with onyx markings.

Akashi-kun, can I see you again?

— ( 赤黒. )

I've entered high school and somehow the heavy weight in my heart was never lifted. I could remember last year as if it was yesterday. Everyone had changed, everyone had left in their own separate paths—it was lonesome as it was only I who clung on them yet they all left without a single glance back.

I entered the basketball club once again, I told myself I'd quite but I knew I couldn't. I had to beat them, if defeat is the only thing that could make them realize their fault then so be it. I'll become the phantom sixth man of this new team and make them shine. Even if I'll be left out once more, I don't care. I just want them to come back. I just want him to come back.

We entered the Interhigh and with our hard work paid off we were able to hold on and beat one from the Generation of Miracles, his name was Midorima Shinatou who decided to enter Shutoku High. It was tough but we managed. After defeated a number of strong and difficult teams we were extremely in high spirits knowing that perhaps we do have a chance to be able to go to the finals, however it was unfortunate that we'd have to face Touou, the school where Aomine-kun entered.

It wasn't easy and in the end he crushed our team. The person who had always helped me in basketball back in middle school was no longer the same. It was painful, it was tragic—it was despairing.

We picked ourselves up after enduring hard training; I also tried new kinds of techniques in order to beat the teams. I knew that with what I am now I wouldn't be able to compete with my former teammates. We entered Winter Cup, the last chance for us this year.

Amazingly we made it through the preliminaries; it was rough especially the last one against Kirisaki Daichi. We ended up having a tie with Shutoku but that was alright, that'd only mean that all five generation of miracles will be competing against each other in the Winter Cup.

It was unfortunate that our team had to face Touou first. It was nerve wrecking and we couldn't help but remember the previous match, we couldn't help but had an underlying anxiety and thought that we might lose and be crushed like how we were back in the Interhigh tournament.

With one shot different we were able to defeat Touou and somehow that defeat had made my former partner realize what defeat truly was and how it felt. I was able to reconcile with him and it could see that I was getting another step higher to my goal.

After Touou we had to face other schools but somehow we managed. But it was difficult that we had to face Yosen next, the school where Murasakibara was. Everyone who knew the generation of Miracles knew that Murasakibara was a very strong center and it is almost impossible to get through him.

The game was a mess, he even broke the hoop. He almost crushed our spirits, almost but we would never let anyone crush our spirits anymore. Once was enough.

Beating Yosen was no easy feat but it was definitely blissful that their hard training had been paid off. Afterwards our team advanced to the next match who was against Kaijou, the school where an astounding player was in and his name was Kise Ryouta. He was an efficient player that had an ability that was a great threat towards our team. He was a fearful opponent; he was able to copy moves so well that he was even able to copy the generation of miracles, something that had never been done before.

It was no joke, the game was pure terror. It was as if the court was burning with such huge flames yet at the same time as cold as the void. The tension between both teams was like invisible blades. The match was like a war and in the end we were able to stay standing.

Even with cuts and bruises we held our head up high as we proudly raised our swords.

However, we have yet to face the biggest challenge. It wasn't just a challenge for our team but for me as well.

Ever since middle school I never once saw him after that. The only time I was ever to see him again was when he called out to the Generation of Miracles to drop a greeting.

But to think that I'd be facing him as an opponent, it was unsettling.

— ( 赤黒. )

"You're interesting."

"You have a hidden ability."

"Kuroko."

"You went beyond my expectations."

"You are wonderful."

"You are important to this team. You are important to everyone and to me."

"…"

"What do you mean? I am Akashi Seijurou, of course."

"Tetsuya."

"Answer me, what is victory?"

Please stop.

My mind is so noisy, it's annoying. The more I stop my thoughts the louder it gets. It's painful and it's irritating; I just want it to stop.

He who gave me another chance to live, and another chance to be able to stay playing basketball in Teiko, he was the one who saved me from freezing and he was the one who pulled me from hopelessness. Even in the shadows, he found me. I don't know why but it makes me so sad yet relieved. No matter how deep I drown myself, I'll always be pulled by this beautiful red light.

Akashi-kun, can I see you again?

— ( 赤黒. )

It was time. The match against Rakuzan has finally begun.

Painful, heartbreaking—Akashi truly did change. No perhaps it wasn't change but it was as if another side of him had been revealed.

We were getting crushed, after Akashi being able to enter the zone even Kagami was having a hard time to keep up. Everyone was on the edge but we never gave up. Even if we take another step and it'd be towards the end of the cliff we'll keep on standing. So long as our feet can still stand on land we can still fight.

Somehow along the game I saw Akashi lose his composure, it may not be evident but I could clearly see the frustration in those beautiful red hues. He was a boy raised to be perfect, he had never tasted defeat so knowing it now was out of his agenda. He's not letting anything or anyone defeat him however that perfect status he has must end now.

"I'll help you, Akashi-kun."

"Just like how you saved me years ago, I'll save you from this burden you've carried since you were still a child."

When Rakuzan called for a timeout I couldn't help but glance towards the other team. I kept on looking at Akashi-kun and worried if he was okay. I didn't want to hurt him but I know that I'd have to if it means that he'll have to be released for this pain he's been in for so long.

Soon as the timeout has ended both teams were back on the court. I prepared myself for the worst but somehow my heart began to pick up its pace. I was feeling excited, I didn't know why but it felt so good.

Soon as the ball started to move I marked Akashi-kun and when he gave me that smile, I knew everything had changed.

"It's been a while hasn't it, Kuroko?"

That soft and tender gaze of his, I'll always remember it.

His tone that was so gentle and reassuring as if it was a lullaby.

I could just cry in happiness but I knew I had to focus in the game and triple my strength. Akashi-kun before was strong but with his original persona back, he was a stronger opponent.

Remember that one winter night when you were riding your horse?

I thought you looked really cool.

You had such a perfect posture and the way you controlled your horse was amazing.

I was only in the sidelines; hidden in the shadows and yet somehow,

You saw me.

I adored your beautiful red hair,

and your eyes that could melt me any moment from now.

You had such a warm existence and yet the first time I saw you, you were so cold.

I didn't know why, but just like snow you were cold.

However what comes after when the snow melts?

It becomes water and how does it become water?

When there's heat.

I wonder what melted the cold ice you've built.

After winter, what comes next?

Spring.

And spring is the season that grants rebirth,

Everything suddenly becomes more colorful and my world began to become vivid when I met you.

Ever since that one winter night, I've always waited for the day I'd see you again.

When you disappeared in middle school, I waited to see you again.

Even if you're there I could never admit these strong emotions I feel towards you.

It's terrifying and frustrating but I can't help but fall in love with you.

I can't figure you out, Akashi-kun but no matter how hard I try—

I'll still long to see you again and again.

The buzzer beater echoed and there was a second of silence throughout the stadium. Once the winners were announced our team rejoiced as tears streamed down our cheeks. Our limbs felt numb and weak for a moment that some had collapsed due to the stress and fatigue. I cried. I cried in joy, I was so happy and relieved that we won. After rejoicing with my team I saw Akashi-kun walk towards my direction and reach out for a handshake.

"Kuroko. This is a victory for you… no—for all of you…"

I could almost cry but I kept my tears from falling. I accepted his handshake and smiled.

"Thank you, Akashi-kun. This is for saving me so many times since back then."

Red hues widened in surprise.

( So he remembered, huh? )

"Thank you for saving me today."

Kuroko gave a small nod and let go of the handshake.

Even after defeat he could still see the king's crown, shining like it once was. It was back to its original beauty.

"I'm glad I could see you again, Akashi-kun."

— ( END. )