"You're gonna have to sit on someone's lap."
Donna flashed him a shy smile, and Josh almost wished they were alone because he could feel his heart just about beat out of his chest when she softly said "okay."
It had been a long day. It had been a long week actually, but nothing was more stressful that when he didn't have Donna by his side and she had been more or less MIA ever since she called CJ. He was mad at her, livid really, and he was hurt that she'd lied to him and he was mad at Commander Wonderful for putter her in that situation to begin with.
More than anything, though, at the moment he was just completely overwhelmed by how incredible she looked. So overwhelmed he had actually said as much out loud, which was something he usually tried not to do. It was relatively new, this whole "being in love with Donna" thing. Or new to him anyways. New to his conscious mind, really; if he thought about it, he had been in love with her long before her previous (god Josh hoped it was previous) boyfriend had pulled those feelings to the surface. A part of him had probably been in love with her the entire time, but that part of him wasn't allowed to speak.
He did have to deal with the part of him that had finally realized, just two months ago, that what he felt for Donna was not friendly feelings, nor were they feelings a boss might have for their assistant. No, these were feelings that he had kept hidden for as long as he could, because they were feelings that could very well get him into trouble. He still tried not to use the word, because that would make it real.
But god all of that was really hard to remember looking at her now. The way her curled hair fell lightly over her shoulders, the way she looked wrapped up in his coat—his coat—because she hadn't been wearing one when she came outside, the way she softly smiled at him as they bantered.
He wasn't kidding about her needing to sit one someone's lap, they had been crammed into the cab on the way over as it was; there was no other way for them all to fit. Josh just wished circumstances were different because when he slid into the car and she climbed in on top of him, it just felt so right. He wrapped his arms around her waist—because what else was he supposed to do with his arms?—and she leaned back into him so that he could hook his chin over her shoulder. Charlie continued to chatter about proving his love for Zoey and Toby continued to scoff and Danny continued to mock and Will continued to pretend to listen (because he was still new and usually just seemed happy to be included in such things) and Josh just sat silently, breathing deeply as if to absorb as much of Donna as possible while he had the chance. He felt like such a pervert, but she hadn't seemed too upset at the prospect of sitting on his lap so maybe he wasn't completely out of line.
As the cab began to roll forward, Donna's hands came to rest on top of his, causing Josh to jump in surprise. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her lips quirk up in a smile as she squeezed his hands, and he turned his hands over to lace their fingers together so he could squeeze back. Of all the positions they'd found themselves in over the past five years, this surprisingly was a new one. Honestly Josh was surprised that they'd never had occasion to sit like this in the past, and now that he was experiencing just how well they fit together, well, he'd be damned if he didn't seek more opportunities to do so in the future.
Because they did fit together so well, just like they seemed to in all areas of life. His head fit right in the crook of her neck, their hands slotted together perfectly. As cliché as it sounded, Josh wanted to stay like this forever. For once he was grateful she lived so far from the White House, only so that it could prolong this trip back.
Josh was so distracted, he hardly noticed when the car finally came to a stop until Donna shifted on top of him. He subconsciously tightened his grip around her waist, apparently determined to keep her close to him for as long as possible, and she squeezed his hands again to snap him out of whatever haze he had fallen into. Finally noticing that their counterparts were no longer in their seats, Josh reluctantly unwound his arms to let her up. She glanced at him over her shoulder, giving him a look that he couldn't quite read.
He followed her out of the cab, still paying no mind to Charlie's continuous rambling about his love for Zoey. Normally Josh was happy to indulge the younger man in this type of conversation—he considered Charlie a younger brother—but at the moment he was entirely too preoccupied with his own romantic troubles, his much more secret than his friend's, and he was still a bit dazed from the past half hour.
Donna stopped when she noticed that Josh was slow to follow them back inside, and extended a hand out to him. Josh caught up to her and she placed her hand on the small of his back, gently guiding him towards the building. It was a familiar gesture, but the contact was almost too much at the moment.
"Aren't you cold?"
Josh blinked, racking his brain trying to process her question. "Huh?" he asked.
"Aren't you cold?" she repeated, slower, and Josh took another minute to process. Oh yeah, she still had his coat.
"Oh, uh, no," he stuttered. "I'm fine. We really weren't outside for very long."
He caught her giving him a look out of the corner of his eye, but Josh stared resolutely forward and hoped to god he didn't do something embarrassing like blush or trip over his own feet.
The Secret Service agent stationed at the door motioned them in, and Josh let Donna step inside ahead of him. She made a beeline for his office, probably to drop her—his—coat off, and Josh followed after her. He had lost track of the other guys once they had entered the building, and Josh honestly didn't care enough to even wonder where they had gone. He paused at the door to his office, just watching as Donna hung his coat on the rack. She turned towards him and stopped too, and there was that look again. It was like she was trying to read him, but couldn't quite tell if what she was reading was right.
Or she could read him perfectly as always, and was just confused by what she saw. Honestly Josh found the two scenarios equally likely.
They continued to look at each other, and Josh could feel his face growing warm but he refused to be the first one to look away. He may be her boss during working hours but when it came to this—anything outside of the office—Donna called the shots and they both knew it. All he could do was try to stay on somewhat even ground.
And damn she really did look beautiful tonight, Josh thought again. Somehow standing here in his office, no longer shivering from the cold and so completely in her element, Donna was even more radiant than she ha been earlier in the evening when Josh had allowed his mouth to run ahead of his brain in its observations. He was so completely captivated by her and wondered not for the first time in the past few months how he hadn't noticed it sooner, because now that he had, he really wasn't capable of thinking about much else.
He realized a moment too late that she was saying something, and gave a sheepish smile which he knew she would be able to interpret. As predicted, Donna rolled her eyes before repeating herself. "Don't I recall you saying something about Inaugural Balls?" she asked, a teasing smile playing over her lips.
"Eight of them," Josh responded automatically, smiling back at her.
"Well," she said, "we'd better get going then."
Josh tried to think of a witty response—anything to try to diffuse the tension that kept trying to seep its way into their interaction—but found himself totally at a loss for words. Donna raised an eyebrow at him, clearly expecting some sort of response as well. You should try keeping brain function while looking at you, Josh thought, mouth going dry as one of her shoulder straps slid down just a bit further. God he was so screwed.
"Josh?" she interrupted his thoughts yet again, and Josh wondered how many times she would do that before she started to demand to know what had him so distracted. And, well, his brain was in no condition to come up with a convincing lie at the moment, and his mouth clearly had a mind of its own, so really he hoped she would step out of character and just leave it alone, at least for the rest of the night. At least while she looked like that.
"Yeah, right, balls, let's go," Josh rushed out, making to turn back towards the door and into the relative safety of the public eye, but she grabbed him with a hand on the sleeve of his coat to stop him.
"Josh," she said. Oh god please, he begged. Not this, not now. But instead of asking the question Josh was vehemently dreading, Donna reached out with her other hand to swing the door shut, then suddenly she had a hand on the back of his head, tangled in his hair.
Before Josh even knew what was happening, he felt her mouth on his and oh god she was kissing him. Donna. Was kissing. Him.
His brain had short circuited at that and he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to, so acting purely on instinct he brought a hand—the one whose sleeve she wasn't still holding—around to her back, to pull her closer to him. Their proximity in the car just minutes earlier did nothing to prepare him for this, this feeling of her body pressed against his, of her hand in his hair, of her kissing him.
And then all too soon it was over, and she was pulling back, until their only point of contact was her outstretched hands holding each of his. At some point she must have turned them because now she was standing between Josh and the door, looking suddenly shy, but cocky at the same time, like she knew she had complete control of the situation but was trying to project innocence to further capitalize on that control. Well, it was certainly working.
She looked up at him through her eyelashes, something she had way too much practice at, yet something that still seemed to get him every time. All Josh wanted to do was kiss her again. Well, that wasn't all he wanted to do, but that would certainly be a good start. But he was frozen in place, waiting for her to be the one to make the next move.
Suddenly, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. A moment later, Charlie poked his head in.
"Excuse me, but he's ready. He sent me to round up the senior staff," he informed them. Josh shook his head to clear it and swallowed in an effort to bring some moisture back into his mouth.
"Yeah, thanks Charlie," he acknowledged. "We'll be right there." Josh knew his voice came out strange, and Charlie clearly noticed it too because he shot him a look, but didn't say anything. He backed up and closed the door behind him, leaving Josh and Donna alone again.
"Well," Donna began, suddenly seeming much less confident than she had just a minute ago.
"Yeah," Josh agreed.
"You'd better get going."
"You can come if you want," Josh offered. "It's…I know what this is, I'm sure everyone would love to have you there." I'd love to have you there.
"I'm not senior staff," she protested.
"You basically are," Josh shrugged, becoming more comfortable as they shifted back into boss-and-assistant. He at least knew what to do here. "Donna, trust me. No one's gonna send you away, it's not like we're discussing state secrets. The President's appointing Will as Toby's deputy. Come on, it'll be fun."
"If you're sure…" she still seemed hesitant, but Josh didn't care how hesitant she was so long as she came with. All he knew was that the last thing he wanted at the moment was to put any distance between them.
"'Course I'm sure, now come on, we don't wanna keep them waiting."
He dropped his hands from hers, instantly missing the contact, but knowing that no matter how strange everyone knew their relationship to be, it was in no way appropriate for them to walk through the west wing holding hands, especially with the possibility of reporters around every turn. They would need to have a conversation at some point, ideally one that involved more kissing and fewer clothes, but now was the time for them to get back to work.
That line seemed blurrier than ever, because for the first time since Josh had realized he was in love with her, it wasn't just a hopeless fantasy. She was here, she was real, and for reasons unbeknownst to him she had kissed him. Maybe Joey Lucas was right after all, maybe the excitement of the day had swept her up, maybe she was feeling the same things he was feeling. He didn't know, but now wasn't the time to ask.
Just as he went to get the door, Donna beat him there and cast one more look over her shoulder, a bit of her confidence from earlier returning, and now she looked more like his Donna, the one who teased him and bossed him around and refused to bring him coffee all while anticipating his every need and keeping his world turning. It was like a breath of fresh air after the sheer weirdness of the last hour.
"Just so you know," she said as she turned the knob, eyes never leaving his. "You look amazing tonight too."
And then she was gone and Josh was left reeling again.
This woman would be the absolute death of him.