Invader ZIM
Romance...Ick-Part 1: HEAD SPOOLINGS
Written By: Joy Jarose
Author's Note:
This series is not about Zim and Dib being gay. To be
honest, that is totally out of character. For one thing,
Zim wouldn't stoop that low. Heheh. Well, I did my share
of flames today. Enjoy!
Legal Note:
The series Invader ZIM, its characters and events were
created by Johnen Vasquez and produced by Nickelodeon
and Viacom. This fiction story could not have been
written without the credits of the original writers of
the series. Thanks!
[Cue Fade in, we see the area is the caldusac, around which Zim lives. View cues in to Zim, who is walking GIR, well-minded and focused. GIR stops to stare at the red fire hydrant located a few yards in front of the house, mezmerized. Zim spews angrily.]
ZIM: [screaming] We walked 5 miles and you want to do your- [pauses] business- here?! My squeedely-spooch is throbbing from all that walking! [GIR continues his undisturbed stare. Zim moans, rolls his eyes, and turns away from the robot.] Finish whatever you're doing, GIR! I'm going inside. [GIR looks at him for a moment, as Zim begins to walk away, still in a spew. He pauses suddenly, clutching his side, moanind.] ARRGH! My squeedely-spooch! [He resumes his stance, turning toward GIR once again.] Well, hurry up already!
GIR: 'Kay.. [Zim stands, watching, hands on hips. GIR steps closer to the hydrant. Zim glares impatiently, tapping his foot. Suddenly, GIR jumps ontop of the hydrant and opens his mouth, sucking on the top. Zim stares at the scene in fear-like confusion. He shakes it off quickly, recovers his stance, and marches over to the robot. He grabs the unit by its collar, pulling it off the saliva- soaked hydrant, and pulls it down the sidewalk and up the lawn, dragging all the way. He opens the door and walks inside, shutting it. GIR is left lying on its back. After a moment, the robot stands up, dusting off its dirty costume. Zim shudders, then walks over to the toilet. He climbs in, pulling the chain, flushing himself down into the lab. Downstairs, he takes out his lenses, wincing, setting them in a black case. He shuts the case, and then takes off the Elvis- like wig, setting it offscreen. He sighs, folding his hands in his lap, and falls asleep, breathing lightly.]
[The bell rings, cue view inside the Skool. Zim walks in, backpack slung over one shoulder. He seems happy enough. Suddenly, he notices something odd.. Everyone was acting strangely. TOO strangely. He looked around. Everyone who was normally just plain rude was being nice! He shuddered and sat down, watching as an orange- haired kid walked past, up to the chalkboard. Zim cocked his eyebrows and looked down the rows, where Dib was sitting, spiteful as ever. Dib turned, and, seeing Zim, glared at him. Zim looked back to the board, and his face shrunk, horrified. The kid had just finished writing "Happy V-Day!" in chalk.]
ZIM: [to self] V-Day?... Do they know? [looks around nervously.] Have I unknowingly been defeated? [he sees the girl behind him give a heart-shaped card to another orange-haired kid.] Wait a minute... [He looks to his left, and sees some girls talking. They stop, seeing him staring, and giggle. He gasps, then turns, seeing a boy give a girl a rose with a ribbon. He shudders, turning around. Another boy gives a girl a bunny. To be precise, it is none other than the Filler Bunny with a purple ribbon on its neck. The girl takes it, hugging it. Zim is confused for a moment by the scene. Then he shakes it off, aggrivated. He stands up ontop of his desk, waving his arms in distress, shouting.] What's going on?! [all the comotion stops, and they stare, confused. The Filler Bunny blinks. Zim looks around, seeing he ha severyone's attention, and protests.] Just exatcly what are you all DOING? [Dib looks amued, and gets up from his seat.
DIB: Pretty odd that a HUMAN doesn't know what V-Day is, huh, Zim? [ as he says this, he walks over to the disturbed alien, who is still on his desk.]
ZIM: [frowns, glaring] Why wouldn't I?
DIB: Well, ZIM, why don't you prove your knowledge by describing [quotation fingers] "V-Day" to us?
ZIM: Of course.. Whenever we conquered a new empire, we celebrated "V-Day". [as he says this, the camera slowly zooms in on him. Then, a flashback ensues, and ZIm is in a black, gray background in regular form, grinning slyly. The camera zooms around to a desolated area, smoking, debree settling on the ash-covered ground, Zim standing proudly in the foreground, hands on hips. He turns around, and the background changes to red tones. He rubs his hands greedily, and the camera zooms around to the Irken Army, the crowd of his people cheering him on.] We've conquered another world, and yet another race will now be miserable slaves of the Irkens! [the crowd roars. Zim puts his hand up and the crowd freezes. He whispers to the camera.] I've always wanted to do that. [He lowers his hand slowly, and the crowd resumes the noiseyness. He grins evilly.]
ZIM: [laughing] Mmm-hmm-hmm.. Bwahaha! Ahahahahaha-! [as he laughs, the flashback stops, and Zim is still on his desk, laughing insanely.] Bwah-hahahaha-au! [his laughter cuts short as he opens his eyes, realizing the entire class is staring at him. One of the kids suddenly responds, his voice accompanied by a German accent.]
KID: Aoh! You are frum Germany too, yah? [Zim stares at him. He jumps off the desk as the class resumes.]
DIB: [sarcastically] Oh, YEAH, right! That's EXACTLY what we're doing! V-Day, [twirls around girlishly and sighs] so WONDERFUL! [Zim flames with confusion and anger.] But, V-Day is about war and conquest! Not about, [glares around] FLOWERS, and-and CARDS, and- [pauses, then points to the girl and the Filler Bunny furiously.] BUNNIES! [he smacks his hands over his mouth, knowing he caused a scene. Dib holds in a muffled laugh, then glances around.]
DIB: [whispering to Zim] Hey, that's all well and good, but here, we celebrate "V-Day" differently. For instance, on "V-Day", you ALWAYS pretend to hate EVERYBODY.
ZIM: [unsure] EVERYBODY?
DIB: [nods] EVERYBODY. [Zim looks defeated for a moment, but he quickly resumes his suspicious persona, glancing at the smirking Dib, untrusting.]
ZIM: Pfft! Like I'd believe the puny, scummy likes of YOU, Earth filth! [ a girl is just approaching Dib from behind with a heart card. Dib cannot contain himself.]
DIB: [raging, pointing at Zim.] HEY! Just because I haven't showever in a few days DOESN't mean that I'm scummy FILTH! [he suddenly realizes what he just said, as everyone around him freezes. He smiles nervously. The girl stops, backing away slowly, then drops the cards and runs, shreiking. Zim snickers.]
ZIM: I'll play along with your planet's dumb little game, DIB. I see that this is a day for... [shudders] ROMANCE and things of that sort. Don't take me for a fool, human. [he walks away, past a bewildered Dib.] If anything, it is you who is the fool. [he walks down the aisle and arrives at a table in the back. Two girls are whispering, one blonde-haired and the other red-haired. As he stops, they see him and giggle. He cocks an eyebrow, keeping watch of them from the corner of his eye, and picks up a piece of red construction paper. He looks it over, then picks up a pair of scissors by the sharp end, sticking the paper inbetween the handles. He pushes them, twisting them, then glances at the girls, who are giggling again. He turns to the kid nearest him, seeing that he is holding the scissors by the other end. His face shows he realizes the mistake, and he takes the scissors by the handles, and begins cutting at superspeed. The two girls stare, awed by his talent as he pulls a piece of tape from offscreen, smacks down a piece of lace onto it, placing the tape over it, and then sliding his finger over it to make it stick. He smiles, satisfied, then holds up the card proudly. It gleams in the sunlight, laced up, virtually perfect, saying "I Love You". It is a true masterpiece. Several other guys around stare in disbelief, as their cards droop. Around Zim, the girls drop their cards, rushing toward him, screaming. He lowers the card in confusion as they surround him. Then, they all start babbling on all at once.]
GIRL 1: Oh, for me, Zim? You shouldn't have! [she stares at the card, starry-eyed.]
ZIM: Hmm? [Suddenly, he is flooded by more girls.] AAAAAAAAHHHH-! [Dib laughs hysterically, falling on the floor. In all the comotion, Zim manages to make out the laughter, and his rage takes over. He begins to literally throw girls out of his range.] MOVE YOUR CARCASSES NOW! I MEAN IT! MOVE! ARGH! GET OUT OF MY WAY OR FEEL MY DOOM FIST AS IT COMES DOWN ON YOU! [He finally appears out of the flood of frightened girls, glaring, panting. Dib's laughing ceases. He gets up, staring, uncertain.] YOU! [Zim pointed, walking toward him.] You have made a fool of me for the LAST time, DIB! [He lowers his voice, as his finger flips Dib in the nose. Dib rubs it, as he backs away.] You laugh at what you think is misfortune, but to them, [he holds up the card in triumph] to THEM, I reign surpreme and you're at the bottom of the V-Day FOOD CHAIN! [Dib's mouth drops, as he lifts a shakey finger, pointing. Zim cocks an eyebrow, and turns around. He, too begins shaking, as the girls have closed in on him, furious. One of them steps forward, a girl with brown hair.]
GIRL: [lowering her tone] Give up the card. [Zim clings to it.]
ZIM: Or what? [He smirks.]
GIRL: [pointing to the alien] GET HIM! [Zim freaks and immediately throws the card into the air, fleeing, terrified. He shreiks the whole way, running past Dib to the far end of the classroom. He faces a corner, panting, looking back to the flood of girls fighting over it.]
ZIM: Phew! [he places his hand on the wall to steady himself, panting still. Suddenly, someone taps his shoulder.] Huh? [he turns around to see a little tiny girl. He screams as she pulls out a heart-shaped box. Zim is confused, then takes it suspiciously. He opens it a crack, peeking inside. He closes it, aggrivated. He then tries to humor her.] Um...Why did you give me poop in a box, little girl? [he turns around as he is saying this and realizes she is gone. Dib walks up to him, snickering.]
DIB: Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day, ZIM! [Zim looks fearsome.]
ZIM: V-Valentine's Day?! [the bell rings, and he remains still, shocked. He finally regains his thoughts, and, with the box, walks out the door. Outside, he is walking down the street, when we see the girl pop out from behind the bushes. He stops, hearing her, turns to look and the girl disappears. He turns and she is in front of him.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-! [suddenly, the dream stops, and Zim is screaming in his sleep. He opens his eyes, terrified, and clutches his chest, panting. He looks around, checking his whereabouts. He sighs.] No creepy girl... No Dib... No Valentine's Day. [suddenly, he hears two muffled laughs. He looks up, and realizes the transmitter screen is on. Seeing the Tallest, he stares, confused, as they snicker. Then, they burst out laughing, one of them falls off his chair, crying. Zim glances down, and gasps, seeing a red light on.] GIR! [GIR falls down from upscreen, onto his lap. He pushes him off, annoyed.] Did you leave the Thought Transmitter on AGAIN? [he points to the button. GIR follows his gesture.]
GIR: Oops... [Zim sighs.]
ZIM: Oh well, nothing too serious. [he gets up and walks over to the tube, only to be frightened once more. In the transport tube lies the heart-shaped box. Zim breathes deeply in, then shreiks.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-! [cue fade out, we still hear Zim.]
Romance...Ick-Part 1: HEAD SPOOLINGS
Written By: Joy Jarose
Author's Note:
This series is not about Zim and Dib being gay. To be
honest, that is totally out of character. For one thing,
Zim wouldn't stoop that low. Heheh. Well, I did my share
of flames today. Enjoy!
Legal Note:
The series Invader ZIM, its characters and events were
created by Johnen Vasquez and produced by Nickelodeon
and Viacom. This fiction story could not have been
written without the credits of the original writers of
the series. Thanks!
[Cue Fade in, we see the area is the caldusac, around which Zim lives. View cues in to Zim, who is walking GIR, well-minded and focused. GIR stops to stare at the red fire hydrant located a few yards in front of the house, mezmerized. Zim spews angrily.]
ZIM: [screaming] We walked 5 miles and you want to do your- [pauses] business- here?! My squeedely-spooch is throbbing from all that walking! [GIR continues his undisturbed stare. Zim moans, rolls his eyes, and turns away from the robot.] Finish whatever you're doing, GIR! I'm going inside. [GIR looks at him for a moment, as Zim begins to walk away, still in a spew. He pauses suddenly, clutching his side, moanind.] ARRGH! My squeedely-spooch! [He resumes his stance, turning toward GIR once again.] Well, hurry up already!
GIR: 'Kay.. [Zim stands, watching, hands on hips. GIR steps closer to the hydrant. Zim glares impatiently, tapping his foot. Suddenly, GIR jumps ontop of the hydrant and opens his mouth, sucking on the top. Zim stares at the scene in fear-like confusion. He shakes it off quickly, recovers his stance, and marches over to the robot. He grabs the unit by its collar, pulling it off the saliva- soaked hydrant, and pulls it down the sidewalk and up the lawn, dragging all the way. He opens the door and walks inside, shutting it. GIR is left lying on its back. After a moment, the robot stands up, dusting off its dirty costume. Zim shudders, then walks over to the toilet. He climbs in, pulling the chain, flushing himself down into the lab. Downstairs, he takes out his lenses, wincing, setting them in a black case. He shuts the case, and then takes off the Elvis- like wig, setting it offscreen. He sighs, folding his hands in his lap, and falls asleep, breathing lightly.]
[The bell rings, cue view inside the Skool. Zim walks in, backpack slung over one shoulder. He seems happy enough. Suddenly, he notices something odd.. Everyone was acting strangely. TOO strangely. He looked around. Everyone who was normally just plain rude was being nice! He shuddered and sat down, watching as an orange- haired kid walked past, up to the chalkboard. Zim cocked his eyebrows and looked down the rows, where Dib was sitting, spiteful as ever. Dib turned, and, seeing Zim, glared at him. Zim looked back to the board, and his face shrunk, horrified. The kid had just finished writing "Happy V-Day!" in chalk.]
ZIM: [to self] V-Day?... Do they know? [looks around nervously.] Have I unknowingly been defeated? [he sees the girl behind him give a heart-shaped card to another orange-haired kid.] Wait a minute... [He looks to his left, and sees some girls talking. They stop, seeing him staring, and giggle. He gasps, then turns, seeing a boy give a girl a rose with a ribbon. He shudders, turning around. Another boy gives a girl a bunny. To be precise, it is none other than the Filler Bunny with a purple ribbon on its neck. The girl takes it, hugging it. Zim is confused for a moment by the scene. Then he shakes it off, aggrivated. He stands up ontop of his desk, waving his arms in distress, shouting.] What's going on?! [all the comotion stops, and they stare, confused. The Filler Bunny blinks. Zim looks around, seeing he ha severyone's attention, and protests.] Just exatcly what are you all DOING? [Dib looks amued, and gets up from his seat.
DIB: Pretty odd that a HUMAN doesn't know what V-Day is, huh, Zim? [ as he says this, he walks over to the disturbed alien, who is still on his desk.]
ZIM: [frowns, glaring] Why wouldn't I?
DIB: Well, ZIM, why don't you prove your knowledge by describing [quotation fingers] "V-Day" to us?
ZIM: Of course.. Whenever we conquered a new empire, we celebrated "V-Day". [as he says this, the camera slowly zooms in on him. Then, a flashback ensues, and ZIm is in a black, gray background in regular form, grinning slyly. The camera zooms around to a desolated area, smoking, debree settling on the ash-covered ground, Zim standing proudly in the foreground, hands on hips. He turns around, and the background changes to red tones. He rubs his hands greedily, and the camera zooms around to the Irken Army, the crowd of his people cheering him on.] We've conquered another world, and yet another race will now be miserable slaves of the Irkens! [the crowd roars. Zim puts his hand up and the crowd freezes. He whispers to the camera.] I've always wanted to do that. [He lowers his hand slowly, and the crowd resumes the noiseyness. He grins evilly.]
ZIM: [laughing] Mmm-hmm-hmm.. Bwahaha! Ahahahahaha-! [as he laughs, the flashback stops, and Zim is still on his desk, laughing insanely.] Bwah-hahahaha-au! [his laughter cuts short as he opens his eyes, realizing the entire class is staring at him. One of the kids suddenly responds, his voice accompanied by a German accent.]
KID: Aoh! You are frum Germany too, yah? [Zim stares at him. He jumps off the desk as the class resumes.]
DIB: [sarcastically] Oh, YEAH, right! That's EXACTLY what we're doing! V-Day, [twirls around girlishly and sighs] so WONDERFUL! [Zim flames with confusion and anger.] But, V-Day is about war and conquest! Not about, [glares around] FLOWERS, and-and CARDS, and- [pauses, then points to the girl and the Filler Bunny furiously.] BUNNIES! [he smacks his hands over his mouth, knowing he caused a scene. Dib holds in a muffled laugh, then glances around.]
DIB: [whispering to Zim] Hey, that's all well and good, but here, we celebrate "V-Day" differently. For instance, on "V-Day", you ALWAYS pretend to hate EVERYBODY.
ZIM: [unsure] EVERYBODY?
DIB: [nods] EVERYBODY. [Zim looks defeated for a moment, but he quickly resumes his suspicious persona, glancing at the smirking Dib, untrusting.]
ZIM: Pfft! Like I'd believe the puny, scummy likes of YOU, Earth filth! [ a girl is just approaching Dib from behind with a heart card. Dib cannot contain himself.]
DIB: [raging, pointing at Zim.] HEY! Just because I haven't showever in a few days DOESN't mean that I'm scummy FILTH! [he suddenly realizes what he just said, as everyone around him freezes. He smiles nervously. The girl stops, backing away slowly, then drops the cards and runs, shreiking. Zim snickers.]
ZIM: I'll play along with your planet's dumb little game, DIB. I see that this is a day for... [shudders] ROMANCE and things of that sort. Don't take me for a fool, human. [he walks away, past a bewildered Dib.] If anything, it is you who is the fool. [he walks down the aisle and arrives at a table in the back. Two girls are whispering, one blonde-haired and the other red-haired. As he stops, they see him and giggle. He cocks an eyebrow, keeping watch of them from the corner of his eye, and picks up a piece of red construction paper. He looks it over, then picks up a pair of scissors by the sharp end, sticking the paper inbetween the handles. He pushes them, twisting them, then glances at the girls, who are giggling again. He turns to the kid nearest him, seeing that he is holding the scissors by the other end. His face shows he realizes the mistake, and he takes the scissors by the handles, and begins cutting at superspeed. The two girls stare, awed by his talent as he pulls a piece of tape from offscreen, smacks down a piece of lace onto it, placing the tape over it, and then sliding his finger over it to make it stick. He smiles, satisfied, then holds up the card proudly. It gleams in the sunlight, laced up, virtually perfect, saying "I Love You". It is a true masterpiece. Several other guys around stare in disbelief, as their cards droop. Around Zim, the girls drop their cards, rushing toward him, screaming. He lowers the card in confusion as they surround him. Then, they all start babbling on all at once.]
GIRL 1: Oh, for me, Zim? You shouldn't have! [she stares at the card, starry-eyed.]
ZIM: Hmm? [Suddenly, he is flooded by more girls.] AAAAAAAAHHHH-! [Dib laughs hysterically, falling on the floor. In all the comotion, Zim manages to make out the laughter, and his rage takes over. He begins to literally throw girls out of his range.] MOVE YOUR CARCASSES NOW! I MEAN IT! MOVE! ARGH! GET OUT OF MY WAY OR FEEL MY DOOM FIST AS IT COMES DOWN ON YOU! [He finally appears out of the flood of frightened girls, glaring, panting. Dib's laughing ceases. He gets up, staring, uncertain.] YOU! [Zim pointed, walking toward him.] You have made a fool of me for the LAST time, DIB! [He lowers his voice, as his finger flips Dib in the nose. Dib rubs it, as he backs away.] You laugh at what you think is misfortune, but to them, [he holds up the card in triumph] to THEM, I reign surpreme and you're at the bottom of the V-Day FOOD CHAIN! [Dib's mouth drops, as he lifts a shakey finger, pointing. Zim cocks an eyebrow, and turns around. He, too begins shaking, as the girls have closed in on him, furious. One of them steps forward, a girl with brown hair.]
GIRL: [lowering her tone] Give up the card. [Zim clings to it.]
ZIM: Or what? [He smirks.]
GIRL: [pointing to the alien] GET HIM! [Zim freaks and immediately throws the card into the air, fleeing, terrified. He shreiks the whole way, running past Dib to the far end of the classroom. He faces a corner, panting, looking back to the flood of girls fighting over it.]
ZIM: Phew! [he places his hand on the wall to steady himself, panting still. Suddenly, someone taps his shoulder.] Huh? [he turns around to see a little tiny girl. He screams as she pulls out a heart-shaped box. Zim is confused, then takes it suspiciously. He opens it a crack, peeking inside. He closes it, aggrivated. He then tries to humor her.] Um...Why did you give me poop in a box, little girl? [he turns around as he is saying this and realizes she is gone. Dib walks up to him, snickering.]
DIB: Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day, ZIM! [Zim looks fearsome.]
ZIM: V-Valentine's Day?! [the bell rings, and he remains still, shocked. He finally regains his thoughts, and, with the box, walks out the door. Outside, he is walking down the street, when we see the girl pop out from behind the bushes. He stops, hearing her, turns to look and the girl disappears. He turns and she is in front of him.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-! [suddenly, the dream stops, and Zim is screaming in his sleep. He opens his eyes, terrified, and clutches his chest, panting. He looks around, checking his whereabouts. He sighs.] No creepy girl... No Dib... No Valentine's Day. [suddenly, he hears two muffled laughs. He looks up, and realizes the transmitter screen is on. Seeing the Tallest, he stares, confused, as they snicker. Then, they burst out laughing, one of them falls off his chair, crying. Zim glances down, and gasps, seeing a red light on.] GIR! [GIR falls down from upscreen, onto his lap. He pushes him off, annoyed.] Did you leave the Thought Transmitter on AGAIN? [he points to the button. GIR follows his gesture.]
GIR: Oops... [Zim sighs.]
ZIM: Oh well, nothing too serious. [he gets up and walks over to the tube, only to be frightened once more. In the transport tube lies the heart-shaped box. Zim breathes deeply in, then shreiks.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-! [cue fade out, we still hear Zim.]