Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam or the characters.
AN: I just rewatched all of MSG, Zeta, ZZ, and CCA in the span of two weeks. I fell in love with the series all over again and had to write something. Anyways...
Scorch
She had pleaded with him to stop fighting Amuro. Her and his sister, both trying to reason with him as if reason still existed within him. If he were a kinder - perhaps with even one more shred of compassion - he could have stopped. Maybe, just maybe, he could have lived in hiding with his sister. Perhaps, he would still be Casval, Edwardo, or anything else. But, he can't stop. The hate, the anger, all of his wrath scorches his very soul like a hot oil. He can't escape it - the pain...the rage - nothing will stop him.
Not even her - not even Lalah Sune.
Char leaps into the air, rocket launcher in hand. He lifts it towards Kycilia Zabi. She pleads one last time. He pulls the trigger. The kick from the blast, pushes him back as he watches the ship go up in flames. It's over. The Zabis are gone. He can rest now. Char closes his eyes. Perhaps he'll just stay here. Perhaps he'll just wait till death claims him.
He feels arms around him. His eyes flicker open. Lalah is holding him. She's crying, and she whispers "Why, Char, why? Why are you so angry?"
He wants to run his hands through her hair. He wants to be close to her. He's thought about it for so long, but the closest he's gotten was a kiss. God, could she ever forgive him? No, she wouldn't. She should leave. She should let him die. It's more than what he deserves for exploiting so many people - for playing games. If there is a God - a just God - Char Aznable is certain he'll burn in hell.
"Why don't you hate me?" his voice is cold, almost soulless even.
"Because, I love you," her voice is so breathless...so beautiful.
He should take her pistol from her. He should put it to his head. He should tell her to leave. And, he should blow himself a way like a flame in the wind. But, he can't. Because, he's dreamed of her for so long. Because, he needs her. Because, maybe, even someone like him can be happy.
He doesn't deserve her, but damn, if he's going to just let her slip away from him. His hand links with hers. The raging hell fire in his soul subsides as spark of hope ignites within him.
Hawaii. It's not the first place he would have thought to go, but Lalah wanted to be near the beach. Maui is like a paradise. The sunsets, the smell, the simplicity of it all - it's different than life in space. The rain, the lightning, the way the sun dips behind skyline in array of pink and purple each night is so undeniably breathtaking. Char can imagine a lifetime on this small island where perhaps he could just be.
It would be so quiet, so peaceful.
The wind rustles through his hair. Sunset turns to night. Char gazes at the night sky. He used to live among the stars. Once with his family, once alone, and once with her.
"Do you miss it?"
Lalah's green eyes are looking up to him. She's wearing a sari dress of red and gold that spills passed her feet, her hair is down, and the way she looks at him is paralyzing.
"Sometimes," he manages to say.
She goes to the balcony rail, her eyes gazing up at the stars. "I miss it sometimes too."
…
Being drawn into the Gryps conflict had happened so fast. Char had been fully aware that the Titans were corrupt, but this was not what he had expected. The experimentation on human life, the gassing of thousands, the destruction of colonies - it wasn't supposed to go this far. Then, there were the more personal casualties - the people that died on their crew, and the one that turned her back on them. She's out there somewhere - Reccoa. She's fighting for Scirocco. God knows why, but she fights for him like a loyal dog.
Char tries to focus as he dodges a beam directed at him from Scirocco's mobile suit. Kamille and Lalah have Scirocco cornered. The Zeta Gundam thrusts into Scirocco's mobile suit. He's not going to just die. No, Char can feel the narcissistic rage in a searing headache. He's far, but not far enough not to feel the whatever evil resonates from the dying mobile suit. The explosion that ignites is blinding. Scirocco is gone, but something doesn't feel right.
He cannot hear her like he once could. Char panics. Kamille comes through the com. "Lt. Quatro…Miss Lalah...do you read?"
"Right behind you, Kamille," he says.
He sends a signal to Lalah. There is silence at first.
"The stars...the stars...they are so bright…" her voice is so lost. "Where am I….who am I?"
No, no, no…
His mind reaches to the day they met, to their life on the colonies, and to Maui. He sees so many paths that he could have taken where this never happened. Should've, would've, could've. But, he didn't. And, he failed her. He failed the person he loved more than anyone. If he hadn't become so soft…
His soul burns like the sun, and that anger he had long forgotten resurfaces. He'll kill the Titans. He'll kill Reccoa. He'll kill Haman. He'll scorch the earth in a blaze of hellfire. Whatever it takes. He will make them all suffer.