This blast of plot just hit me. It is a one-shot, but I might just make this my story for a mass of one-shots for my babies (PruCan…..you should know this)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia, that is Hidekaz Himaruya.
Welp, off you go to read.
"Oh fuuuuck" Canada, otherwise known as Matthew Williams stumbled into his husband. Who happens to be the awesome me. Yes, you heard it. Matthew is my husband; suck it up bitches, Matthew's mine.
He snickered about something I couldn't understand, and proceeded to flop around the house laughing about something. Even though he was a drunk as hell, he was still awake, demanding for me to hurry up so we could cuddle and watch, "some shit movie I found". I was putting our jackets on the hanger by the door and dropped the car keys in the key basket, when I saw him lying on the kitchen table staring at the wall talking about how monkeys and polar bears were going to eat our brains. This kid is fucked up when he's drunk I swear.
Matthew and I went to the bar earlier as a present for our 20th year anniversary. He challenged the bar manager to a drinking contest and actually beat the guy by 5 shots of vodka. Keh, the manager was a lightweight. Afterwords he was demanding the buffest guy to a hand wrestling match, can you believe the fucker one. Matthew was jumping up and down about how he trained in the mountains or some shit like that.
The whole time there I was only limited to a few drinks since I was the designated driver. It sucked really bad, but I dealt with it so Mattie could relax and have some fun. He's been swamped lately with work and looked like he needed some let loose time, so I took him to the bar to get him drunk off his wonderful, gorgeous ass.
Back to the present, he started rolling in the hallway when I dragged him to the couch and turned on the television. He started mumbling about something, but I wasn't really paying attention.
I felt a hand grab my chin and force me to face Matthew. He looked at me and with the most serious face he could muster. It was so fucking cute.
"Have you ever noticed," he paused as if trying to even remember what he was saying, making this adorable concentrating look. I think he found his train of thought, since he said "How cum is kinda like dick puss." He still had the serious-ish look in his face. I couldn't think of a response, so he just kept on talking. "Think about it," he flopped his head onto my lap and looked up at me. "If someone has a wound, the human body makes puss and it looks all icky and gross. And when a guy cums, the seamen exits his dick, like how puss is on a cut or gash. So wouldn't it make sense to call seamen dick puss?" he looked at me quizzically while I just looked at him and blinked.
I ruffled his hair and chuckled, "Go to sleep Mattie, you're drunk."