This is Angellique13, as you can see I am rewriting this story. The chapters are going to be longer and of course things aren't going to be as rushed. I just read everything I written for the story and hated it so much. Not much has changed, but I'm certainly making better changes for it. This is a song fanfic, but it has the most songs in this chapter. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Myer owns everything! (except a couple characters I have added!) The music also isn't mine.
Bella's Point of View
I can't let myself believe any of this!
There is no way that he would do that to me, and with Tanya. For heaven's sake she was absolutely fake in so many ways. She was obviously prettier than I am. I wouldn't blame him, I just wish I could have realized earlier. He clearly didn't want me.
Edward and Tanya have a past of having a lot of sex, considering she was the most popular slut in the school. And I do mean completely, name anything and she has done it with a guy or to a guy. I can't really put her in least words. They were "together" for about two years and he claim to not have any real feelings toward her. He told that ever since he met me, he let the feelings for her go. She didn't want out on his life, so she was always trying to pry into his life while we were together. I ignored her as he did also, but I guess what they called bickering was their form of foreplay.
He knew that being with her behind my back would kill me. It was such a low blow. It seems that everything we had was all a lie. Everything he had told me was a absolute misconception on my part.
"Alice, I have to do it." I said to my best friend. She had come to comfort me. I did appreciate it very much, but I just needed my time alone at this point.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Can I get some time to myself?" She nodded and walked out the door with her head hung low. I went to get my guitar. I haven't played in years. I only play when I feel emotional and my dad knows that. He stopped asking about me playing a long time ago, after my mom passed away he just let it go.
I start a melody with no words to put to it, but it for sure came from my heart. All of my music that I have comes straight from how I feel at that particular moment. I start to pick up the words when I finished playing my melody. I guess I sort of figured where this came from, certainly who inspired it.
That last line really stung. I looked into the mirror across the room and saw that I had a few tears running down my face. I guess I really just need to face the truth. I realized what I had to do. He has to hear this song at some point in time. That is going to be my mission. I think that help me come to the conclusion that what has been done is done and I can't do anything about it.
I picked my phone out of my back pocket and called him. It rang once before he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Be at the park in 5 minutes." I said and hung up before he could protest. I drove to the park with my guitar. When I got there, there were a good 50 people here. I wonder why there are so many people at the park, considering this small town.
I looked for a good place and what I found was a bench. I sat there and practiced a little before he came. All I had to do was look for Edward. When I spotted him it was time to start. He clearly couldn't see me from where I was sitting though.
Everyone knows me as the Chief's daughter and the clumsy girl, now I'm up here about to sing. I was nervous beyond belief, but I had to get this off my chest the only way I knew possible. Edward knew almost everything about, so when he found me he looked pained. He knew that I had my guitar for a reason.
Then I began to play
It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything is gone
I looked to Edward to see him with an emotion I couldn't decipher.
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes
A look of understanding went came to his face for one second, then turned to pleading.
You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go
You should've known that word
'Bout what you did with her get back to me
And I should've been there in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
He caught my eye again and once I did I regretted it.
You can see that I've been crying
And baby you know all the right things to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same
I held eye contact with him at that moment. He knew how I felt and I knew he wasn't going to just let this go.
You say that the past is the past, you need one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes
The crowd started gathering around me as I poured my heart in to that song. I let the traitor tears fall down my face.
You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go
You should've known that word
'Bout what you did with her get back to me
And I should've been there in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
I guess he couldn't take it anymore because he turned around to walk off. I started to smile because I knew what my next words would be.
I can't resist before you go tell me this
Was it worth it? Was she worth this?
He stopped and turned to look at me again. One single tear fell out of his eye and he shook his head. I almost felt bad for him, almost gave in, but I kept going on.
No, no, no, no, no, no
You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go
You should've known that word
'Bout what you did with her get back to me
And I should've been there in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
Edward's Point of View
"Edward, how could you?"
Does she really think I would do that purposely to her? She was the love of my life and I don't know what I would do without her. She can't leave me, not because of her.
That so called thing that we call a female had me pinned. She knew exactly what to do to make me want her. I couldn't resist her, but I should have fought. I shouldn't have caved. This is my fault.
"I loved you," I think I heard her whisper as she got into her car and slammed the door. I felt my heart shatter into a million of pieces as I looked into her tearful face. She then drove off, going as fast as she could. She used the past tense. I deserved it, I guess.
I see this calls for a comeback. I need her to understand how I felt and that I can't do anything without her. The only way I can do that is to get through to her heart. I will to go about it like she did, maybe not exactly like she did. I will get through to her with music. That was always both of our breaking points. We both loved music so much. What she didn't know was how much I felt for her. She can't break up with me. Not after everything we've been through.
I went straight home to get to my piano.
I didn't have to think of what I was going to sing because I already wrote my song. I wrote it right after that night. I felt so guilty and I couldn't hold it in. I planned on telling her, but I just didn't get enough time.
I recorded the song on a CD. I didn't want to have a public display like she had. She had to feel it like she made me feel it.
The note started with, "I know how you feel. Now it's time for you to know how I feel. I love you." I stopped writing because it was time to just play the song and tell how I feel.
Bella Point of View
I couldn't really wrap what just happened into my head.
As I walked in the house, Charlie was sitting in his chair watching the game. "Hey Bells, you got this package from Edward. He came over just a few minutes ago."
Bella,
I'm sorry and you know that. I love you.
I hope you really listen to this song. I
Made it when I made that mistake with
Tanya. I hope you understand how I still
And always will feel...
Edward
"Why with Tanya?" I asked the note as if it would respond.
I popped in the CD and started to listen.
"I know how you feel. Now it's time for you to know how I feel. I love you." I heard him say. Then a soft melody came on…
Silence is easy
To say this is killing me
I'm sorry
You wasted a thousand tears on me
But something was missing
And I'm regretting it tonight
Pushing you away
I know you don't believe me
But I just wanna say
I remember conversations
Before I gave up on me
Well if it's any consulation
I remember everything
And you can't take that
No you can't take that away
You were the one saved me
And you can't take that away
They turned off the street lights
Before I could say goodbye
Cause I was a lost cause, you still kept me alive
So if you are listening
I'm regreting it tonight
Maybe it's too late
But if you ever could belive me
I just wanna say
I remember conversations
Before I gave up on me
And if it's any consulation
I remember everything
And you can't take that
No you can't take that away
You were the one who saved
And you can't take that away
I remember conversations
And if it's any consolation
I remember conversations
Before I gave up on me
And if it's any consolation
I remember everything
And you can't take that
No you can't take that
You can't that
No you can't take that away
You were the one who saved
And you can't that away
Can I really put myself through this much pain. I really don't want to do this to myself, but I have to do it to him.
I reread that note 6 times already. I guess now is the time to dread the first day of my senior year. Everyone was expecting Edward and I to be over, but we were going to prove them wrong. Well that flew out the window.
Well at least the break just started and I have a while before I have to face the walk of shame. I will have some time alone to get used this. Like seriously, we were together for not even a year yet. We were always friends though and now this has ruined it. He was my best friend before Alice, and I guess always will be. I just can't do it right now.
Alice has planned a shopping trip to make me feel better, but that would only make matters worse. I hate shopping, but Alice thinks I love it. If she decides to give me a break from shopping that would be perfect. This will give me time for my music. I sort of missed making music. It used to be my number one priority until I only played when I got emotional. I used to play on a daily basis, it was my life.
I stopped playing because my mom died in a shooting by a guy who was shooting random people to get his point across, and that was after she took me to guitar lesson. She dropped me off and I didn't get to say goodbye. I blamed myself for it because if I didn't have to beg her to take to guitar lessons she would be here with me, helping me through this problem. I couldn't even look at my guitar without remembering my mom. The pain caused me to go into this depressed. My dad ended up sending me to a doctor and they put me on meds.
I will never tell anyone about that. I don't even think my heart could take that pain anymore. I didn't even tell Edward about that day. I was always afraid he would blame me and break up with me. I thought everyone would hate me for it. It really was my fault. Phil told me every single day that it was my fault why she wasn't alive. I shook my head to shake away the awful memory. I will never speak of what happened those months. That was also the reason why I lived with Charlie. I couldn't take what Phil did to me. It made the misery worse to have to be with him. I miss my mom so much. I need her. She would be able to get me out of any type of emotional pain I was in. She would drain out all of the pain I had. She was like my safe harbor.
I thought Edward could have been my new safe harbor.
I guess it's time to go down memory lane. I went to my closet and pulled out a black box. This was where I had my old pictures and my songs from when I was 13. All of the pictures were of my mom. And all of the songs were about my mom. I will always keep her in my heart. I saw the first song I ever wrote for her and started to play it. I got through most of the songs in the box.
I knew things weren't going to be too good going down memory lane. I knew if I went she wouldn't just appear back into my life. I knew she loved me. I know I love her. I know I couldn't get her back. I knew I needed her back. No one will ever love me like my mother did. I felt what she felt after that shooting. I couldn't help her like she helped me. She helped me with everything possible.
I also wrote a song for Phil. I never gave it to him because it would have made everything worse. He would have made me feel worse. I don't even want to remember that song. It hurt too much.
"Bella?" I heard a sweet velvety voice. That caught me off guard. Why is he in my room?
"Why are you here?" I kind of got a clue though.
"Bella what was that song about?" He asked.
"You didn't answer my question."
"I came to apologize again, but in person." That was so predictable. "Bella I'm sorry and I love you." He pleaded.
"Well you should have thought about before you did what you what you did with what's her name… Tanya?" I yelled.
"Don't be like that. I hate when you're like this. Bella please just give me a second chance. I did it for your sake. I love you." What?
"And your logic is?" I tried to calm myself.
"She told me some things…" He said. I wait for him to continue. He looked like he had more to say. When I knew he wasn't going to continue I walked out of my room with my guitar.
"Bye, Edward." I said and opened the door.
"Bella, this isn't over." I heard him whisper, but I don't think so because it was so low. I didn't care I went to my meadow. That was another secret about my life. No one knew about that meadow. It was my life. I felt closer to my mom there. She used to always take me when I was a kid when my dad was at work.
She didn't marry Phil until I turned 12 and that was when we moved to Phoenix. She never stopped loving my dad. My dad sort a felt it when she died. When I moved in with him we used each other. That was the first time Charlie ever showed how he felt around me. He wasn't a man to do anything like that, but he loved my mom very much. I needed him to know I was here.
I sat on a broken tree trunk and played a song I wrote for Charlie. This helped him a little to get out of his misery, but it kept me in mine. I had to help my dad though. He was more important to me. I didn't even pity myself. This was his favorite song I wrote. He heard all of them. He wanted me to send them to a producer, but I couldn't find the will to.
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears You used to captivate me by your resonating light These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me
I ended up crying by the end of that song. That song always got to me. I know she can hear it, at least I hope she does.
I get of the tree and lay down in the grass holding my guitar. I started to remember stuff about her. Stuff like her hair, her eyes, her form, her energy, and just her in general.
It was only a moment in time that I felt myself drift off.
Edward's Point of View
She never told me about her playing the guitar like that. I thought it was just a little thing she did. I felt what she felt while she played that song. I love her, but it seems to me I need to know her. I thought I knew, but it seems like she is holding a chunk of her life out. For all I know she could be a killer.
I drove home in a daze.
I went back to my piano to play another song. I felt a melody coming on to me. I finished it in an hour. I loved this. I really need words now.
I love her so dearly.
I wished she could just understand that.
Bella's Point of View
I arrived home with two holes in my now fragile heart. I went upstairs to see a book on my night stand. I forgot I sat my old copy old Wuthering Heights on there. I went to go pick it up. When I lifted it up a note came out of it. It read:
Bella,
Happy 16th Birthday Bella, you're so old. I'm so sorry I can't be there on your very special day. I love you so much. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. You know that I died from a shooting when you were younger and I'm truly sorry for that. That incident wasn't an accident. I knew what was going on in that bank. I walked in there on purpose. I had to do it Bells. I loved Charlie too much to not be with him. Phil threatened to harm you if I left him. I know what I did caused you sorrow, but I wouldn't have been any help if I stayed in your life. I can't put that on you. One day you will forget all about me, but please at least save a little space in your heart. Don't yell at Charlie because he didn't do anything, I don't even think he knows my reasoning. Bella this hurts, you don't know what I'm going through. Can you do one favor though? I want you to go into you black box and give Charlie the note I wrote him. Help him Bella. I hope all is well. Oh yeah, I approve of the guy you're going to marry one day. I know you will pick the right man. You were always so picky, and that is what you need to be. Tell him all about me. Make it as if I was right there. I make me as known as Charlie. I would really appreciate it. It'll be okay Bella. All you have to do is move on. Let Charlie date someone special. Don't let Phil hurt you. I'm serious Bells. One day we will be together. Well, I guess that's all. I love you forever.
Mom
P.S I know you call me Renee behind my back. It's okay though. I still love you just the way you are.
"Wh-wha-what?" I asked to no one in particular. I ran to my black box and there I saw was a note that said Charlie. I wiped away all of my tears. I took the note with my box and guitar and went to my car. I chose not to read it because it must have been private. I will grant him that. I drove to the station.
I saw my dad by his desk.
"Dad, mom wrote this for you." I said, heavily breathing.
"Don't mess with me Bells. It's not funny at all."
"Just read it." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked out. I let him have his space. He will need it.
I decided I couldn't go home just yet. I couldn't go home to feel the pain that I knew I would feel once I step foot into my house and picture my mom walking around.
I drove until I couldn't see Forks again. I stop my car and got out. I went to the front of my car and lay there. I just stay there looking at the sunset. It was a beautiful sight.
I heard a car coming from the opposite direction, but I didn't take my eyes off of the sunset.
Then I heard the car come to a stop on the other side of the road. That was when I looked into his face. He had beautiful bluish green eyes that I couldn't stop staring into. "Hi, may I ask what are you doing?" I heard the male say.
"Watching the sunset, it's beautiful." I told him honestly. I started to gaze at the sunset again to distract myself.
"You mind if I join you?" He asked.
"Suit yourself."
"If I may ask, what is your name?"
"Bella Swan, and yours?"
"Gregory," He said, looking at me warily. "Why are you up here alone? You know you're in the middle of nowhere, right?" He asked with a chuckle.
"I just needed to get away from everything, you know? Where were you headed before you stopped?"
"Same reason for me, but I saw you and just couldn't resist. I'm heading to Forks, Washington to meet up with someone." He said and I could tell that he was smiling because I could practically hear it.
He looked into the passenger side of my car and saw my guitar. "Do you play? I would love to hear you sing."
"Sure," I said confused.
"I have a song I would like you to sing. Your voice is perfect." He said getting excited.
"Sure, what do you want me to sing?" I asked. He went to his car to get something. He came back with some sheet music and a guitar. "Dude, you play?" I asked amazed.
"Yeah. Well I would like to sing this please? I will play it." He handed me the paper and I looked over it before I heard a beautiful melody. He really had talent. Now he wanted me to sing with for him.
I started listening to the beat and then he told me it was my cue to start.
He started nodding his head as I sang the first line.
Just the other day she was a little girl But just the other day I saw that little girl But I know she is so much better Just the other day she was a little girl But just the other day I saw that little girl But I know she is so much better
Taking over the world
With her smile
Taking a tongue down her throat
By a boy that didn't give a damn
That she was only 15
'Cause she was more than willing
To take a chance,
To find romance,
To grow up fast.
Then to give it all away
To the first guy,
First try,
First lie,
First goodbye.
Taking over the world
With her laugh.
Taking her time with him
And I can't say I've ever been so proud
That she is only 15
But she is more than willing
To take a chance,
To
To grow up fast.
Then to give it all away
To the first guy,
First try,
First lie,
First goodbye.
"That was beautiful. I knew you would have wonderful sing voice."
"It wasn't all that good. Your lyrics were great, but I'm not much of a singer." I say to him.
"Oh, I know a great voice when I hear one. I don't really here singers that great anymore. But who listens to little ol' Greg anymore." Wait what did he mean Greg?
"Wait the Greg Krowski that is definitely the top teen artist right now?" I asked shocked.
"How many Greg's do you know?" He asked with a smile. Okay this has to be a dream because there is no way that Greg would be here with me on his account. I love his music, it has great meaning.
"Oh, I'm sorry for wasting your time." His smile completely went away and he became serious in a instant.
"You're not wasting my time. I love actually feeling normal, even if it's only for a while. You're not a crazy teenage girl that every time, they see me they scream. I miss how this used to be. Just hanging out like a normal teenager." He says to me.
"How old are you anyway?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Wow, there's a first, usually girls just know. Well, I'm 17." He says. "Do have any music yourself? You seem like the type of girl that writes music."
"I do, sometimes when I'm in the mood to, I write them." I say honestly.
"I would love to hear them."
"Are you sure?" I ask and he nods. I reach into my car and pull out a song that I worked on a while ago. "Okay I'm going to play one song that you will have to sing too. Here it is." I hand it to him and he looks it over. I pick up my guitar and start playing.
Once we finished the song we were in our cars. He told me to follow him. I said why not? So now I have no clue where we were going.
After about 30 minutes of driving, we stopped at this building. I park next to him. I got out the car go to him.
"We are about to go to my producer. If you don't mind I would love to record that song with you. I already called my producer and he's here." He says.
"Uhmm, I don't mind, you can sing it." I say.
"No, you're singing it with me Miss Swan." He said to me. He's being so ridiculous. No way was I going to get up there in sing.
He starts to pout. "Pretty please, I need you."
"Fine, lead the way." I say, obviously caving in. He then grabs my guitar and I was ready to protest, but I knew it was helpless. I knew I was going to lose against him. While we're walking I see a man in a suit down the hall.
"Is this her?" The man asks Greg.
"Yep." He replies.
"Bella this is my producer Mike." Greg tells me.
"Hi," I say stupidly.
"Nice to actually meet you Bella." He says to me. He holds his hand out for me to shake, which I shake.
"You too Mike." Man, why can't my brain work right. I don't even sound educated.
"Let's get this show on the road then." The man says. We walk into a studio. Greg and I sit in front of two microphones getting ready to sing.
"Are you ready?" Mike asked. We nodded and I started to play the song.
Hey, slow it down whataya want from me There might have been a time Just don't give up I'm workin it out Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see) There might have been a time Just don't give up I'm workin' it out Just don't give up on me (So hey) just don't give up Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
When I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
that baby you're beautiful
And there's nothing wrong with you
(nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
but thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(it perfectly)
When I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
(uuuuuuh) I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Please don't give in, i won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me
The song was made for one person to sing, but we made it two because I didn't want to sing alone.
Next thing I hear is clapping. I turn to see Mike with a huge smile on his face. He presses the button so we could hear him.
"That was awesome. You two have wonderful chemistry. It seemed so real." He said then walked in through the door.
"I think we should perform this." Greg says to Mike.
Mike then looks at me. "Would you sign with us? I could have the contract ready." He asks. Then I look to Greg with a smile on his face.
"Uhmm… Sure? I will have to talk to my dad about it though." I said, but it sounded more like a question.
"Bella?"
As I turned to see who it was, wish I didn't.
Thanks for reading this to my old readers and my new readers. I love you all and hope you keep reading.
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