DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon, Hau, Sun, Moon, or other canon characters. They are property of Nintendo. I do, however, own some of the characters.
This fanfic is rated T for profanity and mild suggestive themes. Not suitable for those under 13.
THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRSENTS
JELLO PROBLEMS
CHAPTER 1: DOWN THE DRAIN
Hau was a happy child - perhaps a little too happy, but his family didn't seem to mind. He loved his grandfather Hala, his friends Sun, Moon, and Lillie, and especially malasadas. He had a large extended family, including lots of cousins. Hau was close with all his cousins and loved playing with them. That is, except for two of them...
Among Hau's cousins were the Jello twins, Lemonjello Kalena Dolly Momoa and Orangejello Kawena Molly Momoa. They were the daughters of his father's younger sister Kina and her husband Isaac. They were identical twins, aged five years old. The two girls lived in Iki Town, not too far from Hau's house - Hau lived in the same house as Hala. Lemonjello and Orangejello were a terrible twosome, causing trouble, breaking things and blaming it on others, and throwing tantrums. They especially loved to torment Hau. Although Hau was normally extremely happy, he got rather dull around the Jello twins.
We cut to a day at Hala's house. Lemonjello and Orangejello were running around, playing carelessly with baby dolls. One of them ended up getting its head ripped off.
"Aw, poop!" said Orangejello. "We broke another one of our baby dolls!"
"Don't worry, Orangejello," said Lemonjello. "Our mommy will buy us another one. I know where Hau and Makoa keep their action figures. Let's wreck those instead." Makoa was Hau's little brother. He was seven years old.
Hau was in his room, sitting on his bed and watching his little cousins. Sun and Moon were also there. Sun was sitting on the bed near Hau and Moon was sitting on the floor.
"Gee," said Sun, "your little cousins sure play rough."
"Yeah," said Hau. "Too rough."
"And they seem to break all their dolls," said Sun.
"I know one thing for sure," said Moon, stroking the ends of her hair. "Those fucking brats can't be trusted with toys. And kids thought I played rough when I was that age! And who the fuck names their kids Lemonjello and Orangejello?"
"Don't ask," said Hau.
"Better not tell them about Jumeau dolls," said Sun. "Those are the fancy dolls that they make in Kalos. They cost a ton of money. If Lemonjello and Orangejello broke one of those, I'd probably have a heart attack. I can't bear to see expensive things getting destroyed."
"Well of course!" said Moon. "Sun is rich and gets a lot of expensive toys that us normal kids can't afford."
Lemonjello and Orangejello were rummaging through the football-shaped toy box, throwing toys around the room.
"There's gotta be something good in here," said Lemonjello.
"A-ha!" said Orangejello. "Hau's Marvel superhero action figures! Let's see...there's Spiderman, The Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Wolverine, Ms. Marvel, Black Widow, Squirrel Girl..." Orangejello threw the action figures out of the box. "Hey look, it's Beast! Hau's favorite action figure!"
"Let's play jacuzzi with him!" said Lemonjello. "He's got a men's bikini on."
"Okay!" said Orangejello.
Lemonjello and Orangejello laughed as they left the room and made their way to the bathroom. Hau didn't notice, but Sun stared at them. Hau started rambling about malasada while Sun was sitting there, mouth agape.
The Jello twins sneaked past the living room, where Hala was watching TV with his wife Mapuana. They entered the bathroom, where they placed the Beast action figure on the toilet seat.
"This toilet makes a great jacuzzi," said Lemonjello. "Don't you agree, Beast?"
"Want me to turn the whirlpool on," said Orangejello. "Okay."
Orangejello pushed the handle on the toilet.
"Hmm..." said Lemonjello. "Needs more bubbles."
Meanwhile, in Hau's room, Sun heard laughter and the toilet flushing. Moon also noticed the action figures scattered across the floor.
"Why are all these action figures scattered all over the goddamn floor?" said Moon.
"Hau..." said Sun. "I think I hear something coming from the bathroom."
"What is it?" asked Hau.
"You might want to take an inventory check on your action figures," said Moon.
Hau looked at his action figure collection. He noticed that one of them was missing.
"Where's my Beast action figure?" asked Hau frantically.
"You don't want to know," said Sun.
"Let's go to the bathroom," said Moon.
Sun, Moon, and Hau made their way to the bathroom, where they heard the Jello twins laughing as they flushed the toilet. After each flush, the Beast action figure drew closer to the toilet. By the time Sun, Moon, and Hau reached the bathroom, it was already too late. The twins pressed the handle together, knocking the action figure into the toilet.
"BEAST!" yelled Hau.
Hau ran over to the toilet in the hopes of reaching for his action figure, but to no avail. The action figure was sucked down the toilet, while Lemonjello and Orangejello laughed and smirked.
"BEAAAAAST!" screamed Hau. His scream was particularly loud.
"Oh, Hau," said Sun, trying to comfort Hau. "I'm so sorry about what happened."
"You can always get a new Beast action figure," said Moon.
"Moon!" said Sun.
Hala rushed into the room and saw Hau on his knees, crying his eyes out.
"Hau!" said Hala. "What's wrong?"
"Lemonjello and Orangejello flushed Hau's favorite action figure down the toilet," said Moon.
"Oh dear," said Hala. "Not another one." He looked at Lemonjello and Orangejello. "Don't smirk at me, young ladies! You girls are in big trouble." He turned back to Hau. "It's okay, Hau. I can call Adriana Cabrera, the local plumber, and she'll come to fix it."
Hala called Adriana Cabrera. Within half an hour, she arrived at the house. Adriana was an overweight, butch-looking woman with olive skin, dark brown hair in a skater boy style, piercings on her ears, nose, and tongue, denim overalls over a plaid work shirt, and loads of tattoos on her arms.
Adriana entered the house and talked to Hala.
"So, what's the problem?" she asked Hala. She spoke in a smoker's voice.
"My granddaughters flushed one of my grandson's action figures down the toilet," said Hala.
"Not a problem," said Adriana. "I'll just take the toilet off and reach into the cesspool to find the toy."
Hau ran over to Hala and Adriana.
"Please, ma'am!" said Hau. "Please save him!"
"Don't worry about a thing, kid," said Adriana.
Adriana went into the bathroom, unscrewed the toilet and took it apart. Sun, Moon, Hau, and Hala watched her do it, while Lemonjello and Orangejello stood outside. Hau was crying.
"Don't worry, Hau," said Sun. "I'm sure Adriana will be able to find your action figure."
"I'll have to dig into the cesspool," Adriana told Hau.
Hau screamed. Moon covered her ears since she didn't like hearing Hau scream.
Adriana dug in the cesspool, where she eventually stumbled upon the Beast action figure. She took it out of the cesspool and handed it to Hau. The action figure was covered in poop and broken in a few places. Hau screamed again.
Sun smelled the action figure.
"Aaaaugh!" he said, covering his nose and mouth. "It smells horrible!"
"I'm afraid that thing isn't worth saving," said Moon. "You'll just have to throw it out."
"Sorry, kid," said Adriana. "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do."
Hau dropped the action figure and washed his hands. Then he ran to his room crying. Sun, Moon, and Hala looked angrily at the Jello twins.
"You little brats have some explaining to do," said Sun.
"I think you need a good old-fashioned spanking!" said Moon.
"Grandma's already called your mom," Hala told the twins. "You girls better apologize right this minute!"
Lemonjello and Orangejello shed crocodile tears.
"We're sorry, Grandpa," they said. "We didn't mean to do it."
Hala sighed.
"It's okay, girls," he said. "But remember to treat other people's property with respect."
"We will, Grandpa," said the twins. "We promise."
But as they promised, Lemonjello and Orangejello had their fingers crossed behind their backs.
"I don't think those girls will ever learn," Sun told Moon.
"I doubt it," said Moon.