I opened a blank document on my computer; the screen was blurry from all of my tears, so it took me a couple of times to get Word open. My shaky fingers slowly typed the words across the screen, but the tears only came faster as I let out my emotions, making 'backspace' my most frequently used key.

1:39 am

I fall for the guys with the pretty eyes and the charming smiles. The ones that know they're hot, and use words like fuck, and baby. The boys that act like they care only to turn around a second later and be a complete jackass. I fell for guys like Alex. Which is why I should have expected it, after everything I had found out, after everything I had been told, I still trusted him. I still wanted him. Even now, after he had cheated, ripped my heart out of my chest, and walked away as if nothing happened…I still want him. Oh god, how I want him. But I want him without the lies, and the cheating, and the going around behind my back. When it's just us, just Alex and I, everything is perfect. It's like we're the only two people left in the world. Alex had always been perfect. His looks were stunning, his words charming, his touch made my skin burn. I'd always figured he would be the one, the one I'd settle down with. Of course that was a silly daydream; most girls dream about marrying their boyfriend, they imagined what it would be like, how in love they would be, how many children they would have. I didn't daydream like that. I dreamed about how I would stay at home with our kids, while he was off on tour with his band, and I would wait, and wait, and wait for him to come home. But now every time I thought about that life I imagined him sleeping with countless numbers of girls while he was on the road, never telling me about it, giving me false hope that I was the only one he wanted, the only girl for him. There was never just one girl for Alex Gaskarth, it seemed impossible for him to ever be serious with someone. Everyone was shocked that he was with me for so long, but I wasn't. He had loved me, and I had loved him. But people change, and so do feelings. Soon enough you realize that maybe you never know them that well in the first place.

Audrey xoxo

I closed my laptop, picking myself up and slowly making my way over to my bed. I fell over on top of it, still in my party dress. I heard the front door open, then footsteps outside my door, before someone knocked three times. I knew hew it was immediately.

"Come in," I mumbled, hoping he could hear me. The door opened, letting in a little bit of light. His lanky body stepped into my room, and I heard a harsh sigh escape his lips. "Is he home?" I asked, despite myself.

"Yeah, Rian took him home." Jack nodded, sitting next to me on the bed. He rubbed my back gently, making me feel a little better. "He's safe; you can stop worrying about him."

"I'm not worrying about him, I'm worrying about me. I didn't want you to bring him here, I couldn't take seeing him." I started to cry. Jack picked me up and put me in his lap, wrapping his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hanging on to him for dear life.

"Rian called me, after they got back to their place," Jack sighed, running a hand through my brown hair, he fiddled with the ends that I had dip-dyed blue. "He said Alex was crying, and asking for you, I think he knows he fucked up."

"You think so?" I asked sarcastically, wiping a tear from my eye. I pulled my head out of Jack's shoulder and looked at his face, he was grinning, knowing he was making me feel better.

"I sure hope so," He nodded, leaning back on the bed so he was lying down. I moved so I was sitting on his stomach, looking down at him. I felt his heartbeat speed up, like he was nervous, or excited.

"Me too," I mumbled. Suddenly the lights turned on, causing Jack and I to both look towards the door. Alex was standing there, staring at us. I could faintly hear Rian yelling at him from the stairs. I turned to Jack, who was still staring at Alex with wide eyes. "I thought you said he went home." I hissed.

"I did go home, but both Rian and Jack forgot that I have a car and I can drive." Alex said from the doorway, his eyes flashed with anger and jealousy, which made me get off of Jack. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing, we were just talking." I answered, a little too quickly. Alex's eyes flicked over to me, and I could see the pain and longing in them.

"Yeah, talking," He croaked through a raw throat, he sounded as if he was going to start crying again. "That's sure what talking looks like. It looked more like you two were…I'm not even going to say it."

"Even if we were Alex, would it matter?" I felt myself asking, and then I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes. I couldn't do this; I couldn't hurt him, even after he destroyed me.

"Yes, it would matter!" Alex yelled, tears falling from his eyes. "I still love you! I still want you! You can't just go fucking my best friend." I bit down on my lip, and hot tears roll down my cheeks.

"But you can fuck whatever girl comes along? Is that it?" I asked, backing away from him, tears cascading down my cheeks in waterfalls.

"Audrey," He whispered, looking down at his feet. I stared at him, waiting for him to continue, but he never did. I started crying harder, not caring about my make-up, or my hair, or the fact that I was still in my dress. I needed to feel Alex's body against mine. My heart was telling me that it would all be okay once I forgave him, once I let him back in. My brain was telling my heart to shut the fuck up. I stared at him a little longer, deciding which one to listen to.

For once, since the moment I laid my eyes on Alex, I listened to my brain.

I slowly made my way over to him, aware of Jack's eyes on me, and walked around him. I passed through the doorway, walking down the stairs. I got down the first two steps when I heard someone yelling from my room. I walked back to my door quietly, making sure I was extra silent so I could hear what was going on.

"No," I heard Alex yell at Jack. "No, no, no! You stay the fuck away from her!"

"Dude, you fucked up. If you think she wants you back after that, God, there's something wrong with you." Jack sighed. I heard the bed creak and knew he was sitting up now.

"You're lying, she loves me…she has to." I heard Alex's voice crack at the end, and I knew he was crying again.

"You know what Alex? You had an amazing girl in the palm of your hand, she loved you. God, she told me all the time. You were finally doing something right in your life, and what do you do? You go and fuck it up. I hope you're fucking happy with yourself." I heard footsteps start towards the door so I turned and ran down the steps, walking into the kitchen.

Rian was sitting at the kitchen counter; a beer was sitting on the counter in front of him while his head rested in his hands, propped up by his elbows. I walked over to him and lightly poked him. He raised his head, looking at me with tired eyes.

"Aud," Rian smiled, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I'm sorry about…you know who." He laughed, shaking his head. "He's such a mess."

"Well, he did it to himself." I shrugged, slipping on to the stool next to Rian's. I heard angry footsteps on the hardwood floor and knew that Jack was in the kitchen. I turned to face the kitchen door, my eyes landing on one Jack Barakat.

"He's so idiotic, Aud, how'd you put up with him?" Jack asked, laughing.

"Honestly, I don't know. I should get an award for it, though." I laughed, then realized Alex hadn't come down, which meant he was in my room, alone. I excused myself quickly and rushed up the stairs. I put my hand on the doorknob, twisting it. I pushed, sending the door away from me.

Alex was curled up on the floor, in a ball, crying. I felt my heart break; I couldn't stand seeing him like this. So…broken, pained, and vulnerable. I walked over to him, sitting by his head. I took his head and laid it in my lap, running my fingers through his hair.

"Baby, please…" Alex cried, holding on to me. "Forgive me."

"Why should I, Alex?" I asked, I knew I was about to cry. "I gave you my heart, hoping that you would protect it, but instead you shattered it, and then walked all over the broken pieces. I love you, I really do. Of course, more than anything, I want to get back together with you…but I'm not going to. You have to prove something to me…okay?"

"What is that?" Alex asked, sitting up, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Prove that you want me back. Prove that I'm the only one you want." I whispered, looking into his eyes. Alex nodded fiercely, but by the look in his eyes I knew that he was going to do it. He wanted me back, he needed me.

I stood up and waited for Alex to walk out of my room, and then followed him down the stairs. I pointed to Rian, and made a little movement with my fingers that said 'get a move on, kiddo.' I followed the two out to their car, and wondered if Alex was sober enough to drive them back home. I decided that he would have to be.

I walked to his side of the car, holding the door as he got inside his Audi.

"Promise me something, Aud." Alex said, looking up at me.

"Anything, Alex." I nodded, smiling.

"After I prove myself to you, you have to marry me." Alex looked into my eyes, and I knew that this was some twisted way of proposing to me. Who proposes after they're caught cheating? Oh, that's right, Alex Gaskarth, who does whatever the fuck he wants.

"Why?" I asked, knowing that in the end I would say yes. Honestly, the idea of my name becoming Audrey Gaskarth got my heart racing, but also breaking.

"You're my only one, Aud. If I'm going to prove it to you, I'm going to prove it to you for the rest of my miserable life." Alex smiled. "I love you."

"Likewise." I smiled, feeling myself start to cry. I shut Alex's door before watching him drive off.

I went back inside to search for Jack, but he was right behind me, his nostrils flaring. "Did he just propose to you?" Jack asked.

"I think so." I nodded, grabbing Jack's hand. "Come on, Kitty, it's kind of cold out here."

Hello there my beautiful potatoes :} Oh God, I've missed you guys so much. Since this will posted in the early early morning of July 23rd I can officially say that yesterday was my birthday. Why am I saying this? Why do I always get off topic in the little bold bottom of the story paragraphs that are usually longer than the chapter? Why? Okay, so like...review this shit, tell me what you think. Was it amazing, or was it rubbish?

~ Extra shit, if you guys have any free time, and just need something fun to do, go watch Jennifer's Body. That is my all time favorite movie, I swear. I'm going to just run around town and yell at everyone to watch it. Lololol, I'm a freak, which is why I have no friends. I'm kidding, that's not why, it's because I ate them all. Ohmygod, ignore me. From now on just ignore this part, it's basically my stupid ramblings anyways. xD