B p.o.v

October 5th 2008

dear diary,

I can't believe Edward left. I cant believe they left.

It's been so hard to cope. Charlie made me go to a psychiatrist, the only person i could talk openly about my problems was with the Cullen's, nobody else could fully understand. I still don't comprehend why they left. It was an accident, Jasper was the newest to the vegetarian diet. He would never intentionally hurt me, he was always so careful around me. He only slipped for less than a minute and the whole family left.

I am nothing without them. Without Edward.

1 year on ..

Reading diary entries I had made after he left made me upset, though it also made me proud i had gotten through it. I was alot stronger now. I didn't say his name anymore, not because it hurt but because I had no reason to. I was moving on. I was in my last weeks of school before I graduated. Eric and I had formed an unlikely bond over the loss of our loves. Angela had moved to Scotland to stay with her aunt who was having a hard time coping with the loss of her husband. That was typical Ange behaviour, looking out for everyone.

What started out as friendship between me and Eric soon evolved into a relationship. Ofcourse i was not truly in love with him, and neither him with me but we both needed someone and it just seemed like the perfect thing to do. i deeply cared about Eric though i knew it would never last.

We decided to part on good terms and stay friends, he remained my date to the graduation ball. Which would be the last time i saw him. He was going to college in Alaska and i was taking a year out before deciding what I was going to do. Charlie made clear his disapproval of my decision though he didn't talk me out of it. He knew he would lose.

I quickly closed my old diary and put it under my mattress. i made my way to the shower and washed quickly giving my hair a wash with my favorite strawberry shampoo. Once i was done I quickly blow dried my hair and tied it in a low messy bun leaving a few strand of hair down in front of my face. As always I dressed casual going to school putting on a pair of skinny jeans and a rolling stones tee-shirt teamed with my favorite black converse. I grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and headed out to my truck.

Once at school I was greeted by Eric, Jess, Mike and Tyler.

"Wanna go shopping after school Bells? you can stay at mines afterwards, we can take your truck to school in the morning, of course we need some rocking outfits for tomorrow so we can bag a few last minute votes for queen of the grad ball" Jessica asked in her usual cheery tone.

"Yea sure, I'll call Charlie after school and tell him. I'm sure he wont mind" Its always hard to refuse Jess, she could talk anyone into anything.

"So girls if your finished the prattling on of useless details second bell just rang I don't feel like detention today" what a lovely interruption from mike(!)

"C'mon, move move move move move!" another sweet interruption from Ty, oh how I will miss these guys.

Morning classes passed fast. I was in my seat in biology the seat next to me was previously occupied by him. At that moment I couldn't help but think how differently things may have turned out if it that particular birthday party wasn't thrown. Although I never regret any decision I made. As much as I miss my other family, I feel anger towards him, when they left I felt worthless and would have took him back in an instant. Now I couldn't care less what happens too him. if he loved me as much as was made out. My family would still be intact.

I was brought out from the thoughts that had consumed me for half a lesson my a familiar southern drawl. I couldn't help but hope that my brother had came back. I never had any hard feelings towards Jasper. It was never his fault. he is who he is and I love him. I was made aware of there lifestyle, the blood lust overthrew him that day and i understood. I just hope he never felt and guilt over what happened. It wasn't Jasper who decided to leave and pack up my family. It was him.

As I looked up from my table i was instantly dazzled. There he was, Jasper. Smiling straight at me, i couldn't help but wonder if the whole family was back or just him. part of me hoped it was only Jasper i couldn't face seeing him. The teacher assigned him in the seat next to me. I couldn't help but let out a squeal, I was so happy at least part of the Cullen coven had returned.

"Well hello there little lady. Haven't you grown into a beautiful young woman!" I couldn't help but blush. Jasper was as beautiful, in fact more beautiful than i remembered. His comment made me weak at the knee's.

At than moment I let out another squeal and hugged him tightly. The cold and hardness of his skin was uncomfortable but i didn't mind. Jasper was here and thats all that mattered.