Half a year had passed. Six months and three days to take it exactly.
Why he knew that so well? He counted the days.
He also scored the hours, minutes, yes he did everything to distract himself from the actual events of his crappy life.
He just couldn't believe it, couldn't believe what happened. He did not understand why he had to go through that again. Wasn't it hard enough the first time?
Why does everything had to repeat again? Was he the one to blame? Was Mimis death really his fault?
Every evening he had her face in mind, he remembered every morning her scent, he saw everywhere her silhouette in front of him.
It was all so incomprehensible, trapped in a world in which he would not want to live anymore. Not like that and not without her.
There was a knock.
But noone responded. Roger Davis just stayed silent at the wall, still lying on his bed, with his mind trapped in the past.
Another knock.
Still silence.
"Roger? .. You have to get out of your room."
A hesitant voice echoed through the silence. It was the voice of his best friend.
He sounded worried.
As always. Mark Cohen attended and helped and cared and helped.
That's what made him to the person he was, right? A much better person than he was.
"Roger …?"
Wouldn't he realize that he didn't wanted to answer? What did the filmmaker expected from him? A cheerful response? A sign of life from a nearly dead? Hell no.
"Roger, you need to grab some food."
Why should he eat? why live? There was no sense in this world, there was only pain.
"You have to go under people.."
He could get up now, he could leave his room, go out, grab some smack and everything would be fine again. Just one shot again, it sounded so easy..
But would it be the right choice?
"Roger..?.""
Would it already make a difference? He would die more quickly, but that was also better than the life he had. He would no longer have to think, no more sleepless nights, instead he would just feel a flooding of good feelings.
"Okay..I leave you alone now.."
The voice faded, and a door slammed. Mark had left the apartment, that was his chance.
He could do anything he wanted.
With these final thoughts, Roger stood up and walked toward the door.