"Angry Grandpa Reviews The Emoji Movie"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with the web series Angry Grandpa. That is all you need to know. Anyway, this is what happens when to Angry Grandpa after he reviews one of the worst movies of 2017. And I'm not lying. It is that BAD. You've been warned, everyone.
Michael Green, better known to everyone around him as Pickleboy and KidBehindACamera, was busy riding in the passenger seat alongside his girlfriend, Bridgette West, who was busy driving in the wheel of the car that they shared together. With the direction they were going, the two assumed that they were heading straight to Angry Grandpa's house for some reason.
Which is why Pickleboy thought he had the need to announce it on his blog via his smartphone.
"What's going on, you guys? KidBehindACamera here." Pickleboy said to his device.
"Bridgette West heeeeeeeeere!" Bridgette said to the phone while focusing on the road as well.
"Right there," Pickleboy pointed to Bridgette, "And today, is Saturday. And today, we're going to Angry Grandpa's house so that we can film his first ever movie review show. And the movie that he's gonna be reviewing is gonna be The Emoji Movie."
"Ohhhh god, that movie's horrible!" she cringed.
"Of course it is, but we're gonna take this review right to Grandpa and see what he thinks about the whole thing." Pickleboy nodded, "Now just so you don't know, we burned a copy of the movie over to Grandpa's computer so he could watch it himself. I'm not sure if he's gonna like it or-" He said, before all of a sudden...
*SCREECH!*
The car had come to a complete stop, scaring the pants out of Michael.
"Agh, what the hell's up with you, Bridgette?!" cried out Michael.
"Michael, look..." Bridgette gulped as she pointed up to the window for some reason.
Trying to see where she was pointing at, Pickleboy looked right to the direction and gasped right away at what he saw next.
"Oh... my... god..." He muttered.
The image he was looking at was North Charleston being up in flames. The entire people were busy running out of horror and fear, basicially due to the multiple explosions that a certain someone was causing. Kids were being asked to hide underground, the cars were racing out of the town quickly as they could, people were trying to gather as many supplies as they can so that they could get out of this town. Heck, they were at least trying to find some sort of cyanide pill to kill themselves from the havoc that was breaking throughout the town.
"WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING HERE?!" Pickleboy shrieked in response, "WHO IN THE HELL WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!"
"GET OUT OF MY WAY, YA F***ING S***!"
Somehow, both Pickleboy and Bridgette could hear that voice from off-screen, followed by another explosion. The two quickly drove over to the right to find out where the source came from.
It wasn't long until Pickleboy had caught his eye on a burnt McDonalds, which was left standing in ruins thanks to an elderly old man with a black shirt, denim suspender pants, brown shoes and a pair of matches in hand, which Pickleboy identified right off the bat in fear and intimidation as everyone's most favorite elderly foulmouth, Angry Grandpa.
"GRANDPA, WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?!" shouted Pickleboy as he got out of the car.
"THE EMOJI MOVIE, THAT'S WHAT, MOTHERF***ER!" Grandpa shouted with rage.
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Bridgette whined.
"I'VE BEEN WATCHING THAT G****MN EMOJI MOVIE THAT PICKLEASS BURNED FOR ME!" AGP loudly exclaimed. "IT WAS F***ING S*** BEING POOPED OUT OF A DEADMAN'S ASS! THERE WAS NOTHING BUT FACES AND LITERAL S**T IN THE MOVIE. WHY IN THE HELL IS THAT PIECE OF S**T A F***ING CHARACTER IN THAT MOVIE, THAT GUY BEST DESCRIBES WHAT THAT F***ING PIECE OF S**T MOVIE IS! WHOEVER CREATED THAT S**TSAUCE OUGHTTA BE CIRCUMSIZED LIKE A F**KING DOG! AND I'LL START WITH YOU!"
"WHOA WHOA WHOA, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" Pickleboy shouted back, trying to get away from Angry Grandpa himself.
Just to threaten Michael even more, AGP decided to light a match and pointed at front of his and Bridgette's faces, which managed to scare them a bit.
"GIVE ME A GOOD REASON WHY I DON'T HAVE TO BURN BOTH YOUR ASSES!" Grandpa shouted in near murder.
"SONY PICTURES ANIMATION MADE THAT MOVIE!" Pickleboy admitted.
"SONY PICTURES ANIMATION MADE THAT S**T?!" Grandpa raised his eyebrow.
Pickleboy didn't answer back, but he did nod as a way to say "Yes" to his foulmouth grandpa. Knowing this was reason enough for his son, Grandpa blew the match out and spared both Pickleboy and Bridgette's lives.
"YA GOT LUCKY THAT TIME, YA F**K!" Grandpa exclaimed. "I'M GONNA FIND WHERE THIS SONY ANIMATION S**T IS AND GIVIN' THEM A PIECE OF MY F**KIN' MIND! AND AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOUR ASS IS NEXT FOR MAKING ME WATCH THAT PUKES**T IN THE FIRST PLACE! GOODBYE!"
Both Pickleboy and Bridgette had watched in disbelief and confusion as Angry Grandpa left both of them in the dust all by himself, possibly to find where Sony Pictures Animation was located in the United States. Pickleboy was thinking about stopping his Grandpa at first, but hearing that threat closeup made him stand where he stood just for the safety of his well-being.
"Well, aren't you gonna stop him?!" Bridgette told him.
"Trust me, I think it's better if he went by himself." Pickleboy suggested, shaking his head right back.
What Pickleboy did was actually smart.
Once Angry Grandpa found the headquarters that ran Sony Pictures Animation, he immediately burned it to the ground and then hack and slashed every living creator who had made the abomination known as The Emoji Movie. And for once, everyone around the world was thankful for what Angry Grandpa had done. And that was to bring down the evil corporation known as Sony Pictures Animation. He was given out book deals, guest spots on popular TV shows, a lifetime pass to the Playboy Mansion for life and was even given a contract to ensure a movie deal about his life. Heck, Angry Grandpa was given the Presidential Medal of Honor and was even given the key to Washington D.C...
...
...
...which he used to beat up Pickleboy just for making him watch that Emoji Movie in the first place. Pickleboy obviously wished he regretted burning the movie in the first place, because otherwise, there's a good chance his Grandpa will go apeshit for no reason and beat his own son's ass for punishment.
Oh, how Pickleboy regretted it so.
I'm not gonna lie one bit, but that would sooooo be Angry Grandpa. Of course, minus the murdering part. I mean, The Emoji Movie is by far the worst animated movie. I think Mars Needs Moms is way better than The Emoji Movie. Sure, it's bad, but I'd rather watch Mars Needs Moms than watch The Emoji Movie. At least, it's a good bad movie. But The Emoji Movie is just a bad bad movie. There is nothing good or redeeming about The Emoji Movie. IT. IS. BAD. If you have any family members, do yourself a favor and tell them to stay away from this godawful abomination. And I'm dead f***ing serious.
Anyway, what did you think about this? You know what to do. Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off for now! Peace, my gangstas!