So this is post 1x13 with elements taken from what I know is happening in Season 2. Probably some cannon divergence as I'm in the UK and haven't see the new episodes – just going off the clips/trailers I've watched, plus the spoilers and GIFs I've seen…

This is my imagining of what's going through their heads and how things pan out. If you want to skip ahead… Chapter 4 sees their first post-reunion interaction. And I think Chapter 6 (not yet written) is where the good lovin' will really begin.

Contains contextually appropriate swearing, and (eventually) sexual content. If anyone would like to beta the next chapters, do let me know.

- Chapter 1 - Shattered

As she pushed the piece of broken glass against the girl's throat she caught a glimpse of her reflection… Clarke Griffin. That young girl drawing on the floor of her cell a little over three weeks ago... there's no way she'd recognise the Clarke Griffin staring back at her now.

Three weeks, was that all? My God, she'd coursed an orbit in a heartbeat, seen and done too much in an attempt to survive and keep everyone else alive.

She manoeuvred the girl to block out the reflection. It was distracting to see who she'd become. She couldn't face that Clarke right now... couldn't afford to think about how dark she'd gone. All she had to do was find Monty, find the others, and get the hell out of there.

"Who are you people? Answer me! How many of us are here? Where are they? Say something!"

Bellamy came to lying on his back in the dark, the ringing in his ears blocking out any other noise. He couldn't hear Finn's hacking cough, or his own ragged breathing – the sound of his battered body struggling to take in air. As he tried to catch his breath through the pain, all he could do was lie back staring at the sky.

That's when he saw it. A shooting star... a real one! Clarke.

This time he knew exactly what to wish for.

May we meet again.

She was in another white cell, identical from the last but for the painting on the wall. This time they'd tied her up. Back in a detention again… I really mustn't make a habit of this, she'd thought wryly as they'd locked her in. They knew now not to underestimate the blonde girl. She would fight, she would attack, she would think nothing of hurting anyone who got between her and her people... no matter how scared they looked or how much they whimpered in fright.

This me. This is who I am now – Clarke Griffin of Earth. I've done terrible things; hell… I'm capable of worse than I could ever have imagined. And there's no going back. I won't let them hurt my friends - my people.

Bellamy flickered through her mind before she managed to push him back out for a moment. "Brave Princess," he said, this time with a pride that shattered her heart.

She didn't need a mirror to see herself clearly, and this time she couldn't hide from the image that confronted her. She felt the full force of the self-loathing she'd seen flicker through her eyes earlier. This time it broke her.

She'd closed the door when they were still out there. Finn, Bellamy, and God knows how many more who'd been fighting to get back.

She began to sob uncontrollably, unable to stem the torrent of thoughts – the disgust – which began to overwhelm her.

She'd lost Finn once already, and now he really was dead, both times because of her. First she'd failed to save the Grounder girl, then he'd gone after Bellamy and she'd closed the door on him... on them both.

Bellamy. Oh God! Bellamy! How could he be dead? How was it even possible for that big, strong, over-protective ass of a man to be gone? She should have kept the door open. She should have ordered Miller to close the door and gone out to him instead of Finn. Anything but what she'd done. Why hadn't she gone to him? She had been paralysed when she saw him fall. "He's killing him!" she'd screamed. But it was me - I killed him - I let him die.

"I'm a monster," she gasped out between shuddering breaths, hollow eyes staring at the floor before tears overwhelmed her again. There was no one there to correct her, he was gone. I told him I needed him, but he needed me and I let him down. He needed me… I failed him… I've lost him and it's all my fault.

Hugging her knees to her chest she began to rock. I need you Bellamy. I can't do this on my own. How am I going to get us out of here without you? How am I supposed to do anything without you?

It was a while before she realised that the keening sound was coming from herself, and a good while longer before she fell into a fitful sleep with tears still glistening on her cheeks. It wasn't until the next day that she decided they couldn't be dead – not really. This time she wouldn't let them down. She'd get everyone the hell out of here, find Bellamy, Finn, and Octavia, and make everything right.