Max knows rejection hurt (he's been cast-off by many people before he dared approach a certain silver haired someone) but this was just agony. It was a type of pain Max had never experienced before and it made him feel like he was going to vomit his stomach onto the floor. Or maybe cry until his eyes dried out. One of the two. He wasn't sure yet.
And you know, for once in his life, Max doesn't know what to do. He doesn't even know where to start to know what to do. He expected to be rejected, too. It's not like he was unprepared when he set off to find Kai in the first place; hell, he put barrier upon barrier up around himself mentally so that he knew he would have his defences covered. Kai couldn't have hurt him even if he said no. Even if he called him a fag or something because hey, they are two boys and thats really wrong. Or so his mother has told him day in and day out for the past few years. He still had his defence.
Unfortunately, he thinks, he hadn't taken Kai's meaning more to him than his own happiness into the equation.
Kai had been that person for him. That one soul that you knowshould be yours, but as it turns out, said person just doesn't agree. And it sucks, it does, but Max knows there isn't a whole lot he can do about it, you know? He knows that Kai has an infinite amount of people that would make a better match. Or something. Someone that would make Kai really happy in that weird, tingly kind of way.
Max, blankly staring off to the side, nodded and turned away from the older teen, licking his dry lips and swallowing the bile that had risen in his throat. It's not that big of a deal, he tries to convince himself, it's probably for the best that Kai stays his friend (and team captain and advice-giver and the smart one and his crush and everything he's ever wanted out of life). It's probably just better that way.
"No."
Plain and simple. Stated like the fact it was. Clear and always heard; always listened to, even if you didn't want to. Just like Kai. Max shouldn't have expected any different, but in his heart of hearts, he definitely had. And he tends to think that was his downfall in the end. Sad but true. Everyone always expected Max to bounce back after rejection; after defeat; after confronted with fear; after being shut-down like he didn't know a thing. But the truth was, Max couldn't really do that. Every mistake he had ever made, every painful detail, was catalogued away in his mind somewhere waiting to jump out at him when even a glimmer of doubt sparked in his heart. If he ever so much as hesitated at anything, he was done for.
He really just wanted Kai to want him back. Was that so much to ask?
a/n: Redone because I couldn't stand reading that last version. And there's never enough Kai/Max around the fandom. C'mon guys, help it out! Even if it's just a sentence, you know?