This is my first fanfiction so it might suck. Disclaimer I do not own warriors. Pretty random. Please R&R. Enjoy :D
"I don't want to go hunting!" Orangepaw whined. "I want to fall asleep and eat candy all day and dream about rainbows and cookies!"
"WELL TOO BAD YOU'RE GOING TO!" Her mentor, Pearlwing yelled. "THAT'S WHAT I SAY! I'M IN CHARGE OF YOU!"
"I'm tired, and I hate training and working!" Orangepaw pouted.
Then Patchstar the leader walked in.
"TREAT MY DAUGHTER BETTER!" Patchstar yelled, knocking Pearlwing out with a single swipe. "GET IN HERE, SOARINGBIRD!"
Rainbowpaw, another apprentice, sniggered at a knocked-out Pearlwing (useless). "Hee hee! Orangepaw is getting one of her sugar rushes. Hee hee, I wonder what happens if it gets worse. Ha ha! Come on, let's throw some acorns at Pearlwing! Ha ha ha!"
THe rest of the apprentices giggled with her while Pearlwing had been knocked out.
Soon some other warriors tried to pin Orangepaw down while being pelted with arcrons.
"I just can't stand that little brat." Soaringbird muttered to herself (for the millionth time) as she tried to stretch her wings in the warriors' den.
Pepperpelt hummed while he went back to the medicine cat's den. He had been strolling through the woods, looking for catnip.
Frostpaw, an apprentice rumored to be Orangepaw's twin behaviorwise, bounded toward Pepperpelt and she knocked him out and stole all the catnip. "THE CATNIP IS MINE! ALL MINE!" she screamed, pelting into the camp and disturbing everyone from their duties.
Then Rainbowpaw tripped Frostpaw with her foot . . . and Frostpaw flung all the catnip into the air.
The warriors attacked it, shieking, "IT'S MIIIIIINE!"
"LET'S EAT RAINBOW COLORED CATNIP!" Patchstar yowled.
"HOORAY! HIP! HOORAY!" The warriors cheered while an elder grumbled, "You didn't even say it right."
Meanwhile, Pepperpelt finally woke up and walked into the camp. He stared at all the cats that were partying. Even some apprentices were with them - stuffing themselves with catnip, of course.
"Please, please, please StarClan! Please don't let the kits start eating the catnip! I'll do anything you want! Just don't let the kits touch the catnip!" he moaned.
As if StarClan wasn't happy with just that little promise, Lemonkit and Puddingkit bounded out of the nursery yelling, "We want to party too!"
Behind them there was a stampede of kits running and bumping into each other.
"No." Slurred one of the dizzy queens. "You're too young." She tried to gather them with her fluffy tail.
"But we want to party with you!" whined one of the kits, puppy-eying the queen.
"WELL, TOO BAD BECAUSE I'M NOT CURING ANY DRUNK KITS!" Pepperpelt yelled.
"Coooomme jiooonn theeehh parrrtttyy wiithhh usss Pepppelt!" The clan yowled.
"Fine, fine!" Pepperpelt groaned and chewed on some catnip, but refused to swallow it. The juices of catnip, however, are the key. . . .
Soon every single cat of WingClan fell asleep with a pool of soda and beer. Every cat was floating around like a sleeping duck. . . . Until one warrior from a different Clan stepped into the pool of beer and soda and screamed like a frightened kit.
"Your ruining my beauty sleep. Go away bird." mumbled Orangepaw, batting at the air with unsheathed claws.
Finally one of the warriors sleepwalked to the Starcliff, WingClan's meeting place, and started to sing "Baby" and woke up the whole clan.
"Stooooop thaaattt ddrrreeeeaddfull siiiingiiinngg SSSwiiiifftttffur!" Patchstar moaned, stuffing her ears with catnip.
The kits had a meeting inside the nursery while everyone else was cleaning up the camp.
"Next time when Pepperpelt gets catnip, we'll knock him out!" Puddingkit declared.
"No, maybe we should look for catnip while everyone is sleeping and then eat it." Lemonkit snapped. "We won't have to take a big risk. Besides, we know what catnip looks like." All the other kits except Puddingkit nodded.
"I think my plan is better." Puddingkit snarled.
"Well, that's what you think." Lemonkit retorted.
"Well, let's see what everyone thinks!" Blossomkit suggested as she eyed the two, who looked like they'd start fighting any day.
The vote was that they should find some catnip while everyone was sleeping.
Lemonkit grinned evilly and rubbed her paws together, making all the kits nervous. "Let's do it when they're all at the Meeting!" Puddingkit gulped.
"OOOOrraaaaannngepaaaww," Pearlwing slurred, trying to snap out of it (it wasn't working). "Yeeeaah?" Orangepaw asked. Pearlwing smirked.
"I quit! Some other crazy warrior can be your mentor!" she yowled, just as Patchstar knocked her down with a beer bottle."Whoooops," Patchstar meowed, glancing at the warrior. "Peeeeppeerpeeellt!"
Pepperpelt grumbled as he stepped into the clearing. "What is it now - OH MY STARCLAN!" he screamed, staring and pointing at Pearlwing. Patchstar snapped out of the catnip mode fully now. "It's just a knocked-out warrior," she snapped, glaring at Pepperpelt. "Don't you deal with worse?"
Pepperpelt shook his head, still staring at Pearlwing. "It's a sign from StarClan!" he shrieked, prodding Pearlwing. "It - it says that oranges will save the Clan?" He paused, uncertain, then shrugged. "I guess there's catnip in StarClan, too."
*Insert awkward silence*
"LA LA LA LA LA LA SINGING AN AKWARD SOOOOONG! HUM DEE DUM! OOOHH LOOK A TACO! Ahem. GET YO' BUTTS OVER HERE FOR A FRICKIN' MEETING" sreamed Patchstar
"TODAY ORANGEPAW'S MENTOR SHALL BE IDIOTSTAMMER!" screamed Patchstar
"T-Thank y-y-y-y-you P-P-P-P-Patchstar." mumbled Idiotstammer, "M-m-may Starclan honor yo-"
He fainted.
*Silence* "THE TACO IS MIIIIINE!" a random cat screamed.
"HUMM DEE DUMM DEE DUM!" Orangepaw sang, terribly, "TODAY IS TACO DAY!"
"HOORAY!" the clan screamed.
"WE SHALL CELEBRATE THIS DAY WITH MORE CATNIP!" yowled Patchstar from her den.
"YAYYY!"
"MORE CATNIP FOR EVERYONE!"
"MWAH HA HA HA HA!" luaghed Lemonkit.
"WE KITS WILL HAVE THE POWER!" Puddingkit added.
"Well won't we get sick or something if we eat it, like Greencough or Sugar rushes?" Reasonkit (a very reasonable kit) mewed nervously.
"Don't be such a stupid wet blanket." Lemonkit answered crossly.
"Yeah!" agreed the other kits.
They kicked Reasonkit out.
Poor Reasonkit.
"Hurry!" hissed Lemonkit from her hiding spot.
"COMING!" screamed Veryloudkit
"Yeah!" hissed Veryslowkit
"SHUT THE MOTHER *bad word* UP!" screamed Puddingkit
All the cats froze in their spots.
One word:
BUSTED
Soon all the kits were crowded around the elders.
"Mister Elder will you tell me a story?" said Puddingkit, using puppy-eyes.
"Allright, listen carefully," rasped the elder, "Once upon a time, THE END."
The kits glared at the elders, earning a throaty "RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!" before stalking off to the nursery. Veryloudkit could be heard whining.
"THAT WAS A HORRIBLE STORY!"
While the kits sulked, the warriors and apprentices partied.
"LET'S SING STUPID SONGS!" screamed Annoyingpelt
"ALLRIGHT!" the clan answered.
Soon the started singing a song from Shirly Temple. (TOTALLY DISCLAIMER)
"On the good ship the lollipop,
Where bon bons play.
It's a good trip to the candy shop,
It's a sunny day on peppermint bay!
Soon everyone fell asleep, except Orangepaw. "OOOH, PEPPERMINT BAY! Where's that? Mama, can you get a limo to take me there?" Orangepaw then realized they were all snoring. "Aw, *insert bad word*."
"YOU SHALL NOT SAY THAT!" Orangepaw jumped and looked around. "Who said that? If you're a kittypet, rogue, loner, weirdo, random Twoleg, dog, or whatnot, GET OFF WINGCLAN TERRITORY YOU LITTLE *YET ANOTHER BAD WORD*!"
"I am the Censor Warrior, and I'm not a kittypet, rogue, loner, weirdo, random Twoleg, dog, or whatnot. I'm a stranger!" Orangepaw shrugged. "Same thing. And you'd probably lose your job here, we cuss a lot. If you like, go over to RuleClan - they always ramble about the warrior code and whatever other foxdung they can think of. Descendants of Hollyleaf, y'see."
A maniacal grin lit up on the Censor Warrior's face. "COMING RULECLAN HERE I COOOOOOMME!"
Orangepaw blinked while Censor Warrior ran right off a cliff.
"That was awkward."
Remember, I am new. :P and I NEED IDEAS! HELP A POOR AUTHOR IN NEED BY GIVING ME IDEAS!