Never The Whys

Summary: On her first assassination mission, twelve-year-old Mara Jade experiences more than she realizes when the job does not end smoothly.

Part 1

The big-boned man was directly in her sights. She breathed evenly but she still felt nervous. This was live. No hologram targets this time. As soon as she pulled the trigger on the sniper rifle, she would end a life. From what she had read about Chief Admin, Bruenor Olig, he didn't deserve to live. The people in the Valphrin system merely followed his rule by his force. That force's strings were attached to the Empire. Apparently, Bruenor's other interests interfered with the Empire's plan.

"Easy," whispered Commander Adan from behind her. "The wind is picking up from the northeast. Shift your sight line about five degrees to the right."

She compensated as he instructed. She wanted to get this right. It was an important part of her training. She had excelled at every category that was presented to her. Now there was one last challenge. A live target. Success would mean impressing him. The one who had raised her and gave her a home in the Imperial Palace. He put her through extensive training among the elite of his soldiers and guards. She wanted to continue on in her honorable service to the Empire.

She focused on her target. She found that spot at the base of the neck where the spinal cord begins. One perfect shot there and it would be lights out. She breathed in gently and let it out slowly.

She fired.

The sound from the sniper rifle was different from a blaster. It was thinner and had less reverberation making it quieter. But no less lethal. Her shot hit the desired area and Bruenor went down to the ground. Panic began to spread though the crowd with whom Bruenor was speaking. Screams and shouts were heard around the area. Guards scrambled to their Chief's aid in a futile attempt to save him.

Twelve year old Mara Jade knew Bruenor was dead. A slight grin formed on her lips. The moment was glorious. Her first true test of commitment to the Empire.

Commander Adan peeked through the window and said, "Nice shooting, girl."

"Better than you could do."

Adan chuckled. "You dare challenge a member of the 501st ?"

"Former member."

"Once a member of Vader's Fist, always a member. But you keep up that level of confidence. Just don't overdo it. Come on, let's get out of here. You know how to fold that up?"

"Yes," she said with a tone of defiance. She started taking apart the rifle as Adan retrieved their equipment. She separated the two sections of the weapon to place them inside the case. The section with the scope was angled towards the open window.

Adan looked over. "Mara! Close the scope!"

"What?"

"The reflection from the scope. They can see it down there. Close it now."

She quickly placed the cover over the glass and Adan came over to the window. They saw a group of guards looking up in their direction. Then a few took off towards the building they were in.

"Ah, sithspawn! They saw it. Come on, we have to get out of here. Follow me."

Mara felt a twinge of embarrassment as she shoved the pieces of rifle in its case and began to follow the Commander down the hall. They came to another room with a window on the opposite side of the plaza with the crowd. It led onto a small veranda. They climbed over the veranda wall and onto a low roof of the next building. They slid down a drain pipe to land on the ground floor.

"This way," Adan commanded. He ran down an alley as she kept up with him. The alley twisted left and right in various patterns until they came to an opening. There was a bridge that was built over a small river . Once they reached the start of the bridge, they could hear the footsteps of the guards behind them.

Adan looked at the river and then to the case holding the sniper rifle. "Throw that in there."

"What?"

Adan threw the bag full of their equipment into the river making a big splash. "Throw it in!"

Hesitantly, Mara hurled the case into the river. What a waste of a good weapon. And her first one to use in an actual mission. She was reminded of what Palpatine had said about sentimental value. It was foolish greed.

Almost as if he could read her thoughts, Adan said, "It was either that or your life."

The sounds of the guards were approaching fast. Adan grabbed Mara by her shoulders and said, "We have to separate."

"No, we have to stay together."

"If we're both caught, we lose. You are too important at this stage. I have to distract the guards. I still have my comlink. Remember your training to find a way to contact me. Now run!"

She hesitated only for a few seconds before she could actually see the shadows of the guards coming around the corner of the alley. She turned and ran across the bridge. She reached around the corner of another alley on the other side of the river. She turned to peek around to catch a glimpse of the guards in their red and grey uniforms approaching the Commander. He turned to dive into the river as they fired their DL Blasters at him. Mara could no longer tell if their shots hit their target. Commander Adan disappeared.

She was alone for the first time in her life.

She started running along the alleyway not knowing if the Commander was alive or not. She had to dodge several of Valphrin's people on the way. She came to a wide open area in the middle of several dwellings. Mara spotted a small clothesline attached to one apartment. Clothes were hanging in the air to dry. She remembered her training. Make use of any disguise. She went towards the line and grabbed a dark tunic from the line. She continued to run through the maze of apartments. Once she was sure that nobody was following her, she stopped to catch her breath. Under a flight of stairs that reached the upper floors of housing was a dark alcove. She hid underneath.

Mara then began her disguise. She put on the tunic, which was a few sizes too big for her. She then tied her long red-gold hair into a tight bun. She took a fistful of fine dirt and smeared it on her tunic, face, and hair. Now she belonged. She was now a temporary citizen of Valphrin. Just like she was taught.

Her lessons before were merely drills accompanied by soldiers or Palpatine himself. Now she had no one but herself. She had time now. Time to reflect. She forgot to cover the scope. It seemed like such a simple thing. That was why she was hiding and the Commander fled. He might have escaped. He may have been shot. Or worse. Captured. But he was an experienced soldier. A member of Vader's own elite regiment. He knew what had to be done.

But did she know? In all tense and purposes, she was still a child. There was something underneath the memories of her training that she had never felt before. Fear. She wondered. Had the Commander ever experienced fear? He had never shown it. Did that mean it wasn't there?

Stop, Mara Jade! There is no fear. Only hate. It was useless to be afraid. Non productive. It was an unnecessary emotion. And what had Palpatine always said about emotion? It was the enemy of precision. She needed to move on. She needed to find a way to contact the Commander somehow. That could take time. She needed to take shelter first. She couldn't stay in this dark alcove forever. She could find an abandoned dwelling. Or an inhabited one. She had skills that could defeat any attempt at her life. She started to leave the alcove when she saw him.

The small boy was dark-haired with scruffy uncombed locks. Mara judged his age at around six or seven years. He stood there in the light staring at her hiding in the shadows. He kept silent with a look of curiosity. It was beginning to be frustrating for Mara to be stalked at.

"What?" she snapped at him. "What do you want? Go away!"

The boy asked, "Are you lost?"

"No. I know exactly where I am."

HIs face brightened in joy. "Are you playing Hide And Seek?"

"Sure, boy. I'm playing Hide And Seek by myself. One, two, three, here I come! Oh, look, I found me. Game over. I win. Now go away!"

"You sound sad. And scared."

"I'm not scared."

He announced, "My name is Enoban Dusat. Eno for short. What's your name?"

"Retta," Mara said on the spot.

"Hi, Retta. Do you want to come over my house and play?"

"Now, why would you invite a total stranger into your house?"

"You're not a stranger. I know you're name is Retta."

Mara had to chuckle at the young boy's simplicity. "That may be true, but you don't know me."

"Not yet. But if you stay there hiding then no one will know you. You'll be all alone. Where's your mommy and daddy?"

"I have neither," she said.

"Maybe that's why you're sad. You should come to my room. I have lots of toys that don't make me sad no more."

"Where's your mommy and daddy?"

"My daddy's at work. He'll be home soon. My mommy isn't here anymore." He grabbed her arm and started pulling her. "Come on, Retta, come on!"

Seeing how she did need a safe haven for the time being, and that she wasn't going to silence the boy short of killing him, Mara got up and let him lead. He pulled her through the many dwellings in the back alleys. She now noticed that they all were made of the same sand colored permacrete formation. It would be hard to tell them apart. Though, she could retrace her route back to the bridge if she had to. Part of her training was memorizing directions. She was being dragged by the boy until he stopped in front of a first floor dwelling.

"Here it is," Eno announced.

The boy went to the front door's controls and entered a code. Mara took note of the sequence and embedded it in her memory. Even Palpatine marveled at her perfect graphic memory at such a young age. They entered the apartment and the boy took off down the hallway. Mara looked around at the basic setup. A kitchen that led into a small dining area. A lounge area with a small holoprojector. The boy's father wasn't well off, but he got by.

Mara memorized the layout for possible escapes. She followed the boy's path in the hall. She passed by the refresher and came to the end of the hall. Before her was another door locked with a code. She tried the same code as the front door and the controls flashed red. Not the same. And she would place several credits on the fact that the boy didn't have this code. She turned to her right to the second of two bedrooms. Inside Eno was already playing with his toys. A fake DL Blaster was in his hands.

"Blam! You're dead!," cried the boy.

She feigned death. "Oh! Such a young age for me to go."

"Dad got me this for my Life Day this year." He dropped the toy gun and picked up a small model of what looked like a Z-95 Headhunter. "He got me this, too." He moved the ship with his hands as if it were maneuvering in space.

Mara grinned. She was still too young to pilot a ship, but Palpatine promised those lessons when she became of age. Soon she would be flying the real version of Eno's model.

Eno was inside his imagination with the model when they heard the sound of the front door sliding open. A deep voice called out, "Eno! Are you here, son?"

Eno dropped his ship and ran out of the room and into the hallway screaming, "Daddy!"

Mara followed him to see the boy clinging to a man who looked like a grown clone of his son. The eyes contained more sadness, she noted.

The man saw her and put down Eno. "I see we have a guest."

"Yeah, this is Retta. I found her hiding under the stairs."

Before she spoke, Mara decided to add one more ingredient to her disguise. She added to her accent a hint of Coruscanti. She doubted if Eno could detect it, but his father may. "He's right, sir. Your son found me under the stairs."

"Why were you hiding?" the man asked.

"I ran as soon as I heard the shot that killed Bruenor. After he...went down...I thought it was the best time to..." She trailed off on purpose.

"To...what?"

She looked at the man directly into his eyes. "To escape, sir. You see, I was...well, it's embarrassing to explain."

The man lifted his head in realization. "You were one of Bruenor's servant girls. You would have been much more when you came of age."

Mara nodded slowly. Palpatine always said that the best made up stories were the ones that your targets made up themselves. Just give them a few statements and they formed their own conclusions.

"No wonder you were scared. I'll bet you had no clue why you were at Bruenor's rally today."

Mara shrugged. "They just brought me along. Whatever Bruenor needed."

Eno added, "Retta doesn't have a mommy or daddy."

"I bet she doesn't. You're safe for now. You're welcome to stay here for the time being. The authorities are telling everyone to stay inside. They're still looking for the assassins."

"Assassins?"

"Yes, the guards believe there was a team working together. They must have separated."

"And they're on the loose?" Mara added a sense of panic in her voice.

"Apparently, so. But don't fret, girl. I'm more than capable of defending myself and my son. The whole administration is in an uproar. The villagers, well, they're celebrating. They're not going to miss Brutal Bruenor."

Mara chuckled. "I heard that's what they called him."

"I'll bet you have a ton of stories."

"Yes, sir."

The man scoffed and said, "Where are my manners? I am Nom Dusat. How about we share some Brutal Bruenor stories over dinner?"

Eno cheered as Mara-nay-Retta said, "Sounds like a plan."

Nom then proceeded to make them a small dinner, which consisted of freeze dried ronto sticks that he heated in the nanowave. He opened a can of fruit sauce with it. Simple. It was a meal that was certainly less than what Mara was used to in the Imperial Palace. She ate it nonetheless because she was hungry. At least it was better than the dry rations that the Commander would have supplied.

Nom started in on Bruenor. He listed all of his faults, including cheating, gambling, and females no matter how old. His political views were always selfish. Never did he think of the villagers in his own district. His plans all benefited him alone. Nom asked Mara if she knew that Bruenor adopted the same mandate of the Empire of no aliens in the administration. Mara said she knew of Bruenor's rule, but not of the Empire's. Of course, Mara knew. She knew everything about Bruenor when she read the report on the way to Valphrin. Retta, the servant, wouldn't know about the Empire.

Eno burst out with, "Daddy, do the ronto monster!"

"No, I don't think Retta wants to see that."

"Yes she does. You want to see the ronto monster, don't you?"

"I'm not sure I want to see any monster."

Nom gave an embarrassing look. "It's silly."

"No, it's funny," cried Eno. "Come on, dad."

"All right." Nom took two ronto sticks and placed them inside his mouth on end at opposites sides. They stuck out like fangs. "Rawwwarrrrr! I am the ronto monster and I'm here to eat up little boys."

Eno could not stop giggling. His laughter spread to Mara. It made her wonder when the last time she did laugh. It was a silly act. Pointless. No purpose. But it was fun. She suddenly stopped herself from grinning. Fun was not allowed in her training. Yet, upon watching the joy between father and son, it was the first time she had asked a simple question. Why was fun forbidden?

Nom kept on. "Why, here's a tasty morsel. I'll start tickling him to death first." Nom started poking Eno gently around the sides of his stomach. Eno laughed harder as he squirmed in his chair.

It was a strange sight for Mara to see. She had never seen or experienced contact that didn't involve combat of some type. She could tell that there was much affection between father and son. She just couldn't accept it. Affection led to emotion. Emotion equals failure.

Nom finally let go of Eno and took out the two ronto sticks. "All right, that's enough. That's all I need is for you to get sick from laughter on a full stomach. Are you done eating?" Eno nodded. "Good. Then you can show Retta how a big boy clears the table."

After Eno picked up and stacked each of their plates, he disappeared into the adjoining kitchen. Mara uttered, "Special kid."

"Same as you were once, I suppose."

Mara looked away. "I'm not so sure. I was a servant since I was very young. Even younger than Eno." She said it to sustain her disguise. But when she really thought about it, there was a certain truth inside of it. "I was an orphan ever since I can remember."

Nom chuckled. "Me, too. But I can remember my parents. They died in an accident when I wasn't much older than Eno now. " There was a silence before he asked, "Do you know what the best thing about being an orphan is? You can learn to be yourself."

Mara gulped. She changed the subject slightly. "Eno said his mother wasn't here anymore. Did she leave?"

"In a way. She died giving birth to Enoban. He was her last gift to me."

"I'm sorry. Eno must be really special to you."

"Yes. I would do anything for that boy."

As if on cue, Eno appeared from the kitchen with a device in hand. "Daddy, I think you have a call." He laid the device on the table in front of his father.

A comlink. Mara's eyes brightened for a few seconds. All of her questions about emotions disappeared in an instant. All that mattered now was the mission. She could use the comlink to contact Commander Adan, wherever he was.

Nom took the comlink and answered, "Yes, Dresh? You're kidding. It's on now? All right, I'll turn it on." He clicked off the device and got up to turn on the HoloNet. "There's some kind of announcement on the Valphrin network."

The image on the holoprojector showed a man at a news desk. He was already speaking.

"...keeping you safe and sound. Again, the Valphrin Guard has ascertained that the gunman who shot and killed Chief Admin Bruenor Olig this evening is on the loose. He is suspected to be armed and dangerous. The Guard ask that you keep within your homes to allow a more thorough search of the area. It is also known that the gunman had an accomplice. The only description we have from the authorities is that it is a female with long red hair. Her whereabouts are also unknown. Authorities advise to not let anyone of unknown origin inside of your homes. The Valphrin Guard assure us that these perpetrators of this heinous crime will be caught and answer for what they have done. And what they have done was take the life of a great man, leader, and cornerstone of the Valphrin community. We now bring you the biography of the now late Bruenor Olig. May he rest in peace."

At that point, Nom switched off the holo. "Now, isn't that something. Of all the hidden interests and backstabbing that man has done to Valphrin over the years, they're now putting him on a pedestal." He turned to Mara. "Personally, I would like to meet that assassin and shake his hand."

Mara froze for a moment. She wondered if she put enough dirt into her hair to mask its redness. It gave off more of a bronze color than her natural red. And the part about letting strangers in the homes. Does Nom know? No. He couldn't. Regardless, she had to get away and contact Adan. They had to escape before the guards caught either of them. The act of getting caught didn't scare her. She could find ways to get away. What scared her most was facing the wrath of him for her failure. She couldn't let that happen.

No matter what the cost.

Nom then said, "Well, you two hold down the base for a moment. I have to visit the 'fresher." Nom set the comlink down on the table and walked down the hall.

The comlink. Now was her chance. But Eno was watching. No problem. "Hey, Eno, do you know about the comlink here?"

"Not really. Daddy never lets me touch it."

She picked it up from the table. "Did you know it can make music?"

"Really?" Eno's interest definitely perked.

"Well, not actual music. It can make a bunch of beeps that can sound like music." She switched the setting to encrypt. She started depressing the comm button randomly. A series of beeps emitted from the speaker. Eno giggled. She continued the beeps until she secretly tuned the frequency to the one she and Adan agreed on to use in emergencies. The beeps were now no longer random. Yet they still sounded like beeps to Eno. On another comlink somewhere in Valphrin, a message was being sent. She hoped it got to the Commander. He could have lost his comlink. It could have been damaged. She had to take the chance that neither had happened. She had just finished the message when Nom's voice boomed.

"What are you doing?"

Before she could reply, Eno cheered, "She's making music, daddy."

Nom gently took the comlink out of Mara's hands and sat down at his chair. He said nothing.

Mara smiled and said, "I was just showing him a different use for the comlink."

Finally, Nom said, "I don't let him play with this. It's not a toy. Right, Eno?"

The boy hesitated before he said, "I guess. But it was fun."

"I'm sure it was. Speaking of fun, why don't you go play in your room for a while? Daddy wants to talk to Retta for a moment."

"But I thought we all could play a game."

"Maybe later. Go on, now."

The boy nodded and he went back to his room.

Mara could tell a difference in Nom since he came back from the refresher. It wasn't just that his tone of voice dropped an octave. There was a physical change as well. She tried to concentrate on what it was without calling attention to herself. Nom began his own interrogation instead.

"What exactly did you do for Bruenor?"

She shrugged. "Whatever he needed. Food, drink, clean laundry, and, of course, companionship. Also he needed someone to laugh at his stupid jokes."

"Uh huh. Were you performing any of those duties at the rally today?"

"Some, yes. Why?"

"Well, it just occurred to me why a servant such as yourself would be present at a political rally. Bruenor's servants, especially the ones he favored, would have stayed at his palace."

"Oh, so you doubt me now? Is this because of what they said about letting strangers in your home? Your son invited me in because he saw that I was scared and alone."

"I'm sure you were."

"So, what? You think I made all this up? You think it would be that easy?"

"It would be for a professional."

"Oh, so I'm one of the assassins now. Nom, I'm only twelve years old."

"I thought of that. The only way it could be possible was if you had a partner. An accomplice. Isn't that who you just messaged on the comlink?"

He knows, she thought. She cursed herself for not thinking ahead.

Nom continued. "See, I was just wondering after the broadcast. When I came back and heard the comlink, I knew."

"Heard it? There was only the sounds of beeps."

"To an untrained ear, yes. In my youth I took classes on encryption techniques because it was a requirement in order to be hired by Gailek Systems."

Mara found herself mutter, "Valphrin's largest security system."

"That's right. It amazes me how a servant like you could possibly know that. Now, I didn't understand all of your message before. It's been too long for me to remember all of the hundreds of translations. But I recognized the groupings of codes. Enough to know it was a message. Was it to your partner in crime? Will he be coming here?"

Mara felt once more the cringe of defeat that day. Too many mistakes. What were her options now? She knew them. Each one ended with Eno becoming an orphan. Or worse. She could no longer make any room for hesitations. Her training in the Empire came back to the forefront. She had to do what she must. Like Nom. It suddenly occurred to her why he was confronting her now, after he went to the refresher. If he had gone to the refresher. She mentally scanned him for that difference she knew that was there. Was this part of the Force that Palpatine said she possessed? She noticed something about the sleeve of his tunic. A bulge. He was holding his right arm at a certain level. Something was there. Something that wasn't there before.

She must have stared at the spot on his arm for too long. Nom noticed.

In a flicker of motion, Nom quickly brought up his arm. Out into his hand from under his sleeve came a mini blaster. He gripped it and intended to aim at Mara.

Mara was quicker.

She grabbed his wrist that held the blaster up so that he couldn't fire. In the same motion, she picked up a knife on the table with her other hand and brought up the blade to Nom's jugular.

She leaned into him and whispered, "It would be wise for you to let go of the blaster."

End of Part 1