The Bear Jew Up to Bat

PREFACE

" 'TEN HUT!" Donny barked. "EYES FORWARD!"

"Thank you, Donny." Aldo remarked casually, then turned to his potential Privates. "My name is Lieutenant Aldo Raine..." Aldo went on and on with the speech that Donny had heard him rehearse 100 times before. "...Killing Nazis," was the only part of Aldo's rant that was audible in Donny's mind at this point. He couldn't wait to get out into France and finally do something productive besides play baseball.

Staff Sergeant Donny Donowitz was the first in command under Lieutenant Aldo Raine's group of soldiers who had been infamously nicknamed by the German army "The Basterds". Donny liked being a basterd, it gave him something to work for after not getting drafted.

Donny was a die-heart Red Sox fan, just as every Bostonian should be. He had played ball since the day he was old enough to throw and catch, and won every award possible for his power hitting, including MVP of his championship high school team. Finally, after a few years of college ball, it was time to try out for the Red Sox. Well, sort of...it was time to try out for their farm system at least. Donny had made it with flying colors, but was stuck in the minors for the entirety of his baseball career.

Finally, he began to get so fed up with his lack of advancement that he went out drinking one night with a bunch of his buddies who were about to ship out to basic training. Being drunk and frustrated, he signed up for the army via a very special recruiter, his friend Aldo Raine. Aldo knew that Donny had a special set of skills, and promised that they would meet again soon.

A few years later Donny and Aldo met again. By this time Aldo had been promoted to Lieutenant, and Donny to Staff Sergeant, making them the perfect match considering Aldo had now begun his own unit and needed somebody to be in charge of the other 8 soldiers.

Donny was a basterd like no other, however. Standing at 6'4 and around 230 pounds of pure muscle, Staff Sergaent Donny Donowitz yielded a 36 inch Louisville Slugger, his weapon of choice for killing Nazis. Donny absentmindedly tapped his fingers on the barrel of his bat as Aldo finished up his speech, "Sound good?" Aldo asked the privates.

"YES, SIR!" they belted, loud and proud.

*One month later*

"Hey, Donny?" Also asked.

"Yeah, Aldo?" he replied as he set his bedding down for the night. They were currently squatting in an abandoned hunter's house way out in the forest somewhere in Nazi-occupied France. Donny's best guess was that the hunters family must have been Jewish, because everything was left perfectly on place, only the bare necessities gone from the home. The family could have been on vacation for all they knew.

"You're off from watch tonight. Hugo's going to take it since you doubled up on his last week. Get some rest, buddy, and ice that shoulder." Aldo drawled. Donny had gone a little too hard on that Kruat Sergeant today, possibly pulling a muscle in his left shoulder. He didn't really care though, he knew that a pulled muscle was better than a bullet to the arm any day; Aldo was just busting his balls.

Lost in thought, he hadn't noticed Utivich had laid his bedding down on the floor of the living room next to him. "Got a cigarette, Don?" Utivich asked. Donny handed him one, snapping back to reality. "We're going to get some girls tomorrow, probably at a movie or something. You wanna come, see exactly how drunk you have to be to make a french girl look cute?"

"Yeah, I'll go. Can't strike out if you never get up to bat anyway, right?" Donny knew he was kidding himself. He, Wicki and Aldo were the ladykillers of the group, breaking hearts and taking names all over France on their nights off. It was about time Aldo had given them a night off anyway, it had been too long on the dirty floor of the French forrest for Donny's comfort.

"Good. Wouldn't be the same without you and that annoying fucking accent." Utivich chuckled. The guys loved to bust Donny for his heavy Boston nasal.

"Have you ever even brought home a girl, Utivich?" Donny fired back, jokingly.

"With the way he snores, no broad would ever want to sleep with him anyway!" Omar interjected

Utivich smiled, "This coming from the guy who's been shut down so many times he can't even count anymore!"

"You're just jealous because you couldn't ever haul in a piece of tail without Hirschberg as your wingman!" Omar shot back. The entire crew erupted into laughter. When everybody was tired after a long stretch of fighting, some playful banter was always a relaxer.

"Alright, alright, settle down, girls. We've got a loooong day tomorrow," Aldo instructed from the stairs. "We've got a scouting detail and then into town for a while to get some supplies. As you can already predict, we'll be walking. Donny, you'll be to the drugstore for medical supplies, Wicki and Omar on groceries and everybody else with me to hunt around for a new place to set up camp. We need a big one, quiet and tucked away nicely this time, preferably a little closer to town and with a car we can snag. Get some shut eye," then he turned off the lights.

Chapter 1

Fuck scouting. It's almost as boring as sitting watch. Donny thought. In reality, that's probably what the entire group was thinking. They had found a Nazi patrol in a small valley just outside of town near an old stone bridge with a brook that had long since dried up. No doubt about it, that would be tomorrow's target for the Basterds.

Finally, Aldo gave the signal for them to fall out, and they made their way back to the house to pack up and get ready for a night on the town. Donny combed his thick, black hair back and washed his hands, trying desperately to scrub the dried blood and caked dirt out from under his fingernails. He never really realized how dirty he got out on a mission until he came back and looked in the mirror at his darkened, sweat-slicked face and stained clothing. A hot shower had never felt better, even though it was the dead heat of July.

"Ready to go, Don?" Aldo asked. The guys were all waiting around downstairs, talking about their future conquests while the Lieutenant and Staff Sergeant combed their hair one last time.

Donny had seen the most beautiful broad earlier that month at the grocery store. She was the cashier, and he had hopelessly flirted with her, but had never even gotten her to speak a word. He had been hoping that Aldo would give them the next day off; considering the huge mission they had successfully completed earlier that week, almost losing Omar to capture and Wicki to a bullet that should have killed him, but bounced off of his gun instead, they had well-deserved one. However, Aldo had other plans, and Donny had not been able to see her since. He was dying for a girl. He had always been able to reel them in so easily back home, and these French girls loved American soldiers, but it had been too long since he'd seen a halfway decent broad naked, and he intended to fix that tonight.

By either a miracle stroke of luck, or Aldo repaying him one of the hundreds of favors they owed each other, Aldo had chosen a bar for that night that was right next to the grocery store. Don't get your hopes up, she's probably not even here. Man, was she hot. I haven't seen a rack like that on a girl around here for months. I better get something tonight, otherwise I may need a new bat.

Just as he was doubting his luck, there she was, sitting alone at the bar, tossing something small and metal from one hand of the other, sipping in what looked like a very large glass of wine. Fuck yes, here we go!

Donny saw Wicki and Hugo begin to approach her as a tag-team, but he quickly gave them the death-glare, and they backed off. "Sorry, Sarge," Wicki muttered as he brushed past Donny. They moved to a pair of German speaking girls tucked away in the corner.

"Hi," Donny smiled.

"Hi," she said with a French accent.

"English?" he asked, she nodded. He sighed with relief.

"You look like you've had a long day." Donny said as he slid into the barstool next to the grocery store girl and ordered her a whiskey.

"Well, getting un-engaged is one of the qualifiers for a 'long day' I guess," she sighed, her accent completely gone all of a sudden.

"You're American?" she asked him.

"100%!" he said proudly, "Boston, best city in the world. But apparently you are too?" he asked, confused.

"I used to live in America but these past few years I was a nurse for the French army for a while before the war. I lived here with my brother. He was killed nine months ago in a train wreck. I quit my job as a nurse and took over his family's business as a grocer instead. I like to pretend that I am French around outsiders so they'll accept me easier and come to our store. What's your story? You're an American soldier no doubt, come here to get me drunk and take me upstairs?" She's got a fire in her, I kind of like it. She was also, on the way to being drunk. This could be a fun night.

"Well, I figured we'd get to know each other a little better first, but you told me right off the bat that you just broke off your engagement, you wanted me to come over here, even if you are drunk, admit it. You thought I was hot in the grocery store. You love soldiers, you wouldn't have become a nurse if you didn't. Staff Sergeant Donny Donowitz, you are?" he asked. Donny figured he'd respond with a little fire of his own. It couldn't hurt, and she seemed to like it.

"Catherine Mayfield. And you're right, I am drunk, I did want you to come over here, and I do want you to take me upstairs." That was all the conformation Donny needed; he downed his second whiskey, took her hand and asked the bartender for the key to a spare room while casually slipping him some cash for both of their bills.

"Mmmm, Donny," she muttered as he began to kiss her neck. They were in one of the many bedrooms above the bar, the door slightly cracked open, tangled up in the sheets.

"You like that?" he asked, continuing to kiss it roughly and nip at it slightly.

"Mmmmhmm," she breathed, "you can be a little rough with me, it turns me on." Donny could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on her breath, but at this point, he was so turned on it didn't even matter. He began to nip a little harder, then finally slid off her underwear, before musing at the scene of her naked beneath him, basically begging to have sex. She wants it rough? I guess I should give her what she wants, he thought then slammed all the way into her with a grunt.

Catherine was asleep and sweaty on Donny's muscular chest while he recovered, thinking about how fantastic that had felt after so long. There must have been another couple in the next room, because there were some pretty interesting noises coming through the thin walls. Maybe Wicki and Hugo had finally gotten those German girls drunk enough. They would always tag team girls. Wicki would charm them and Hugo would use his fame and "brute sexy" tactic as a girl once called it. Quietly chuckling to himself at the idea of anybody referring to Hugo as "brute sexy", Aldo bursted through the door holding what looked like a German machine gun and his buck knife, splattered with blood.

"Donny!" he yelled. I fell off the bed, knocking Catherine off with me.

"What the fuck!" she exclaimed sleepily. I picked my pants up and started to get dressed as he explained.

"We've got a problem! 'Bout six krauts walked in, one recognized Hugo. Luckily it was a quick one... Hugo slit the throat then Wicki and I took care of a few but we gotta get out of here before the other start coming after us. Leave the broad and let's-" he froze when he saw Catherine pointing a small gun, probably small enough for her to fit in that little purse of hers, right at him. I didn't know what to do when she shot it. I knocked her over, pushing her into a wall and reached for the gun, but it was already back in her hand. Aldo had ducked, the bullet flying past him and hitting a Gestapo officer directly in the forehead, killing him on the spot. With Aldo on the floor still, she stood up and shot two more Gestapo in the chest, clearing out the last of what must have been the remaining krauts Aldo had been talking about earlier.

"Damn, little lady!" Aldo complemented, "You're one hell of a shot!" He looked her up and down, "And one hell of a looker too..." he trailed off.

"I worked for the French army, I had some practice," she shrugged.

"French army, huh?" he said to himself. "Donny, the broad comes with us." he ordered and then marched out.

She smiled as she put on her remaining clothing, I smiled back and simply said, "Welcome to the Basterds."