Title: The Way the World Begins

Author: TakeAWhackAtIt

Pairing: Will/Jack

Rating: T

Warnings: none

A/N: My roommate got me addicted to Will & Grace several months ago, and I'm almost done watching the episodes from all eight seasons. This story originally started out as several random Will/Jack scenes that I then merged together into this monster. Not only is this my first W&G fic, it is also my first slash fic (that I've written, not read). It is also, quite possibly, the longest fic I've ever written. The story is completely done, and I'll post probably about a chapter a day (there are 5 total the way things are set up right now).

Disclaimer: I do not own Will & Grace. Nor do I own T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men", which is the poem I quote at the beginning of each chapter. I found the words to the poem fitting, in a strange way- let me know if you agree.

Part I:

"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw.

Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar."

The door closing after Karen's rather dramatic pronouncement seemed to echo in Will's apartment, the absence of her chatter making the room seem painfully quiet as the two men stood in awkward silence.

Jack felt as though his heart, which had been fluttering with the possibility of something more developing with Will, had dropped out of his chest and started forming some kind of puddle beneath his feet.

Nothing had happened.

And now, if the rush of relief in Will's eyes was anything to go by, nothing ever would.

Ever since he had woken up next to Jack, Will had been filled with a dizzying mixture of emotions. The idea of being in a relationship with Jack, of even having just slept with Jack was…indescribable. Just like the man himself.

The thought of being with Jack was something Will had rarely allowed himself to consider for even the briefest of moments. But once or twice, in the solitary darkness of his bedroom after yet another failed relationship, or following one of Jack's quips about Will checking out his ass or secretly being in love with him, Will had contemplated the idea of his friendship with Jack becoming something more. And waking up with his best friend naked next to him had brought those vague, secret imaginings forcefully to the front of his mind. Since that morning, Will had searched his mind for any memory of what might have transpired between them, wondering if Jack's hand brushing against his as Jack handed him the coffeepot one morning should remind Will of some other kind of touch, or if the warmth of Jack's breath on his ear as the younger man leaned over Will's shoulder to read Leo's letter to Grace should spark memories of something more. But there were no sudden floods of memory- apparently, because nothing had happened to make the memories in the first place.

And, after the initial rush of relief- that first, instinctive thankfulness at the idea of a reprieve from the thoughts that had been relentlessly plaguing his mind- Will couldn't decide if he was delighted or devastated.

Jack, never one to be comfortable in silence, was the first to speak. "So…nothing happened!" He forced himself to sound cheerful and unsurprised, as though he'd expected nothing less, mentally cringing as the emotions rang horribly false in his ears and heart. He just prayed that Will, caught up in his own relief, hadn't noticed.

The other man nodded. "Nothing happened!" Will repeated- as if reassuring himself of the statement's truth, Jack thought. If possible, his spirits fell further.

An uncomfortable silence descended yet again as the men just stared at each other. Feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious, Jack cleared his throat. "Well, now that that's settled, I think I'll just…" he motioned jerkily towards the door, "Head home."

Will's agreement came almost too quickly. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I've got some…stuff to do." The excuse sounded lame even to Jack's ears, but he was so desperate to escape the tension that was all but choking him that, without making eye contact, he mumbled a goodbye and left.

Jack walked the few feet to his own front door and fumbled for the doorknob, ignoring the slight tremor in his hands. As he pushed open his door, he was startled to hear Will's door open behind him. He froze, halfway inside the safety of his apartment, when he heard Will's voice.

"Hey, Jack?" Will's tone soft, tentative.

Jack turned slowly, leaning deliberately against his doorframe. "Yeah, Will?" Though Jack succeeded in schooling his face into the perfect image of nonchalance, the high-pitched timbre to his voice told an unfortunately different story.

Will took a hesitant step into the hallway. "Are we…" He faltered. "Are we okay?"

Forcing himself to remain casual, to pretend as though everything between them was completely unchanged, Jack nodded and asked, with a hint of confusion, "Of course we are, Will. Why wouldn't we be?"

Ha- and people said he couldn't act.

The other man blinked. "No…no reason!" Will chuckled lamely. "I just wanted to make sure things weren't going to be, you know, weird between us after this whole fiasco."

Oh. So, Will saw this thing- the possibility of having slept with Jack- as a fiasco. Despite the sting Will's words caused, Jack kept his face carefully neutral. "Why would things get weird? Nothing happened, remember?" Jack's tone and the unspoken duh at the end of the sentence implied that Will was a moron for even thinking such things and would he please stop wasting Jack's time with useless questions, thanks so much. Jack hoped it was enough to satisfy Will so he could escape to his apartment

"Right, right- of course," Will hastily agreed. "You're absolutely right. I just…wanted to check, that's all."

"Well, now you did, and we're fine." Jack hoped the smile he directed at Will wasn't as strained around the edges as it felt.

"Okay, then. Well," Will smiled back at Jack, and seemingly pacified, began walking back towards his own apartment. "See you later, Jack." For the briefest of moments, Jack thought he caught a hint of something like regret in Will's eyes, but it was gone so quickly that he thought he must have imagined it- a trick of the light, a product of his own wishful thinking.

Jack hummed a noncommittal response and quickly opened his door, sighing in relief when he was safely inside his own apartment, with two doors and a hallway between him and Will. He flicked the lights on, closing his eyes against the sudden glare of the lights as he slowly slid down to sit on the floor, back against the door and knees pulled up towards his chest.

He shouldn't be hurting as badly as he was. Jack had known for years that Will wasn't interested in him romantically, had come to terms with that fact over the years out of pure necessity. But he'd allowed himself – stupidly, foolishly, naively—to believe that that morning could change things between them, that that single, solitary incident could prove years of history false.

Jack thought, as he sat in the silence of his apartment, that he'd never been more wrong.