"And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days" (Goo Goo Dolls)

He's moving. His long, lean arms push out from under the thick duvet, His left one slides up under the pillow he's resting his head on and the right one stretches out toward my side of the bed. His muscular legs twist and the duvet gets caught between them as his right hip turns left and his leg drapes itself over me.

I hold my breath and wait. His beautiful face is just inches from mine. I can feel his breath glide over the crook of my neck. His gorgeous hazel-green eyes don't twitch or flutter. His breath stays even and deep. He doesn't wake.

I've been awake for an hour, even though we only went to bed at 2am. Even though it's barely 7am and the sun is just starting to push its golden light into the loft. I can't sleep.

Last night was incredible. It was without a doubt the best New Year's Eve of my life. And I'm completely certain this will be the best year of my life. I don't know why it feels that way. I mean, yes, things are going great for me – I'm gaining critical and financial success in New York, my mom is happily engaged to Tucker. Molly is doing great in school. And most importantly, Brian and I are rock solid.

I turn and look at him and can't help but smile. He was a fucking mess last night. One of those good, fun, drunk, high messes... All touchy and clingy and happy and hyper. Much like I suppose a kitten would be if it were drunk. Brian Kinney was a drunk kitten last night. I stifle a laugh at the revelation.

We were at the newly rebuilt Babylon. The club was packed. The music was amazing and we were all safely ensconced in the new VIP area high above the dance floor. Everyone was there – Michael and Ben, Deb and Horvath, Ted and Blake, Emmett and Drew, and Daphne and her boyfriend. Brian had even let Hunter and his girlfriend in, provided they stuck to a 1 drink at midnight only rule. Not that he would know how much they were drinking. He was high and hammered and I loved it.

His hands were always on me or reaching for me. It didn't matter who he was talking to or what he was doing, he was attached to me. He was kissing me every five minutes. Not the light loving kisses but full-on make out sessions that made everyone groan. When they did he responded with some quick remark like "Sorry. He's irresistible" or my personal favourite, "I'm addicted to him. I can't help it."

When midnight rolled around we all went down to the center of the dance floor and as the confetti fell and bells and horns went off everywhere, he picked me off my feet, swung me around and kissed me within an inch of my life. Deb laughed so hard at the spectacle she spilled half her champagne.

"You two are so fucking in love it's obscene!" She announced merrily.

Brian put me on the ground, nuzzled my neck and proclaimed at the top of his lungs. "Yes we fucking are! But you haven't even seen the obscene part yet."

And the hauled me off to the backroom.

Now, here in the barely risen morning sun, he's breathtaking. Even this hung over slumber does nothing but make him more beautiful. His chestnut hair is matted and tousled. His brown thick eyelashes flutter slightly and his full lips are parted just the slightest.

I run my hand over from his temple, down his neck, over his broad shoulder and down his side to his exposed ass and right leg. I try to be feather light with my touch so not to disturb him. I can't not touch him because I am acutely aware that at this time tomorrow I won't be able to touch him. He'll be here and I'll be back in New York.

I sigh.

"Why so down, Sunshine?" I hear him whisper. "Was I that bad last night?"

"You were fucking fabulous last night," I tell him with a grin even though he can't see it because he hasn't opened his eyes yet. "You told everyone we were in love. Yelled it actually."

"How breeder-esque of me. Remind me not to mix E and Chivas Regal again," He says softly and his lips move up ever so slightly in a smile.

I kiss them as they slide back into a relaxed state and he starts kissing me back. His tongue pushes into my mouth and I suck on his bottom lip when he tries to end it so we kiss some more and before I know it we're both breathing heavy.

He rolls on top of me and roughly pushes the duvet aside so our naked bodies have direct contact. He groans a little. "I'm still drunk."

I laugh. "I'm not surprised."

One of his hands tangles itself in my hair and the other slides down between us and cups my balls. I sigh and kiss his neck. Then suddenly his hands go to my hips and he rolls us so I'm on top of him. He reaches up and captures my lips and kisses me hard and long. He takes my hand in his and guides it downwards, but then bypasses his dick and his balls and I find my hand at his entrance.

He captures my lips again. I draw and soft circle around his hole and then tentatively push a finger inside. He grunts and bucks his hips. I push in another. His lips slide to my ear and he pulls my earlobe into his mouth and sucks.

I watch him reach for the condom and lube and moan as he grasps my dick in his hand and gives it a firm pump. Then he proceeds to slide the condom down my shaft. I can't help but let my eyes widen in surprise. He catches the look before I can conceal it and he smirks at me. "You okay with this?"

I nod. I feel drunk myself. I'm giddy. I pull myself up to my knees and wait for him to turn around. Brian hardly ever lets me top and when he does, it's from behind, his face buried in pillows and sheets. Protected.

I wait for him to turn but he just raises his right leg and drops in on my shoulder. The weight is heavy and unexpected and I almost tip over. My eyes are the size of saucers now, I know this. He glances at me and then looks down and whispers. "Do it."

I don't need to be told twice. I lift his left leg and place it on my shoulder and sheath the condom in lube and place it at his entrance. His puts one hand on my waist and the other on my shoulder and pulls me forward. I enter him from tip to base in one hard motion.

He hisses and his eyes snap shut. I groan and my mouth hangs open. We don't move for a minute. His hands are digging into my bare flesh but I don't care. The feeling of being able to stare at his gorgeous face while I'm inside him is way more powerful than the sting of a few scratches.

I start to slide out – just a little bit – and slide back in. He grunts. I do it again. And again. It's a slow, easy rhythm. I can feel everything this way and he can too. His hips start to buck up and his right hand wraps around his cock. Oh my god there is nothing hotter than watching him jerk himself off as I fuck him.

I kiss his chest and his neck and then finally his lips and he kisses me back and our tongues dance. My pace picks up and he moves his hand faster and I watch precum drip from him and I wish I could lick it.

"Brian..." I feel the telling tingle in my balls and a warm wave in my abdomen. "Brian.."

"Come." He commands.

"Look at me... please," I beg and his eyes flutter open.

I come.

He follows, warm fluid shooting between us. I drop down on top of it - on top of him – unable to hold myself up.

He runs a hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head.

"This is going to be the best fucking year ever," I proclaim through pants as I fight to regulate my breathing.

He laughs at me but then whispers. "Well it's definitely off to a great start."