A/N Hey guys. So I wanted to start a lighter story. I'm still working on my other story 'Changes' but it's a darker story. It was getting rough trying to think like Beca. So I decided to write a lighter story as well. Let me know what you think. Reviews are helpful.
I do not own anything Pitch Perfect related.
Chapter one: Fuck my life.
Why am I always getting myself into these situations? Oh right, because I am an idiot!
I thought moving in with my best friend right after graduating high school was the best idea ever. Boy was I wrong. Amy is a bit, well, different. She moved here our freshmen year of high school, from Australia. Her accent as thick as ever. Her confidence never failing. Her plans? Not so much.
I tried to tell her this was dumb. I tried to tell her we would get caught. Did she listen? No. Did I listen to myself? Of course not. Now here we are. A dingy, smelly jail cell with far too many drunk people? Why are we in the tank? Because when the cops heard Amy's reasoning being why were at the zoo at 3 in the morning. They obviously thought she was wasted. When I just sat there, shaking my head and mumbling to myself, they thought I was too. I can't blame them. I didn't say anything. What was there to say? There was no logical or legal reason for breaking into the San Diego Zoo.
A few hours ago, I was laying in my bed. Now? It's 4 in the morning and I'm laying on a bench in the drunk tank trying to re evaluate my current living situation.
Here, let me just take you back.
×××× 4 hours ago ××××
It was midnight and I was finally getting to sleep. It was a long ass day and I was exhausted. I heard stomping through the house so I threw my pillow over my head to try and cover up Amy's loud ass walking. Next thing I know, there is banging on my door.
"What! Jesus Amy!"
Amy came bursting through the door. "Short stack! I need your help! This is serious! Get up!"
"Shit, ok. I'm up. What's wrong?" I hopped out of my bed, freaking out thinking someone was trying to break in or something. I almost wish it were that.
"No time for questions. Get your shoes on. Follow me."
I followed her without question, into her car. We started driving and as the fog from my sleep deprived mind started to clear.
"Amy, where the hell are we going?"
"That is none of your concern at the moment. Have I ever let you down?" Amy asked me that. As if I couldn't list hundreds of occasions where she did just that.
"Yes Amy. You have. Countless times." She looked at me as if I were the insane one. After an hour of questioning her, I resigned to my fate. No stopping the tasmanian devil once she sets her mind to something.
A little over 2 hours after we started driving, we pulled up in front of the damn San Diego Zoo.
"Amy, what the fuck are we doing here?"
"Just follow me. I need your help." Amy begged. Like literally begged me.
"What? No. Amy, if you think I'm going in there, you are sadly mistaken. No. Absolutely not."
Well. I went in. Apparently Amy had discovered that the damn zoo had dingoes. Yeah. Dingoes. Those mangy looking dog things. Amy decided that she was sick of people not believing that she could wrestle them, or something like that. She wanted me to record her wrestling a pack of fucking dingoes and put it on youtube. I honestly have no idea why I went along with it. I blame sleep deprivation, but it was probably because Amy looked so determined. That girl is my family. Period.
Well anyways. Obviously we were caught, and obviously Amy tried to convince the fucking police that this was necessary.
×××× Present ××××
Any ways. That's how I got here. And if I tried to say that this was the first time Amy got me in a situation like this, I'd be lying. There was that time we had to run from mall security because Amy stole one of the horses off one of those kid carousels. Yeah. Really. She full on sprinted and tackled one. Broke the damn thing off its pole and took off. Of course I followed her. She had the car, and we lived in L.A. No way I was paying for a cab to get back to our place. I made just enough money to pay my part of the rent and keep myself alive.
Amy had money, and always tried to tell me that I didn't need to pay. Apparently her mom left her a shit ton. Never got the full story on that. Not sure I want to know. But I'm no freeloader. I DJ some nights and cover shifts at a local radio station. There may also be a possibility that I sometimes dog walk for extra cash. I won't confirm, nor deny it. Anyways. Point is. I can take care of myself.
Then there was that time she stole a golf cart from airport security. I have no fucking idea how we managed to get away with that. Like, none. Then there was that time she convinced me to ride topless through the sunroof of limo she rented, down Hollywood Blvd. Alcohol may have been involved with that one. I also may have swallowed a few bugs. Maybe. There are countless other times. But this is the first time we actually got caught. And now I am in jail. Fuck my life.
"Finally! Freedom!"
"Amy, stop shouting! You realize we have community service right? Like, we have to actually go! If we don't, not only will our records not be expunged, but we will also go back to jail. No cheese puffs. No burritos. Nothin." If anything can get through to Amy. It's food. Amy stopped talking. Well for about five minutes.
"So. I'm thinking about setting up a performance booth."
Of course you are. Of course you friggin are! Why do I hang out with this weirdo? What the hell am I doing with my life? "Really? And what might your performance be?" Why the hell am I asking? I shouldn't have asked. She's going to think I'll help her. Fuck. Abort. Abort.
"Well, I need a black wig first. Maybe some lingerie. Come shopping with me?"
"Can't Ames. I've got a shift at the station. Don't forget. 5pm, be at the youth center. You have to be there Amy. Community service is not optional. Be there." I really hope she shows up. I can't deal with kids on my own. Hell. To most people, I'm still a kid myself. I'm only 19.
"Uhhhh. Well. Hmmmm. I may, or may not, have made plans to flee the country."
The amount of times I've rolled my eyes at this woman by now is countless. "Amy, this is serious. Be there. I mean it. I won't get you on the list to Pulse on Friday night if you aren't there."
"Fine, fine. I'll be there. Just keep those horny teenagers away from me. Bring a bat. It's hard enough for grown men to resist all this, I can't imagine what teenage boys would do to get to me."
Again, I have to roll my eyes. "Sure Ames. I'll bring a bat."
This building looks like Dr. Seuss and Marilyn Manson had a fucking kid. Am I in the right spot? This can't be a fuckkng youth center. Except maybe it is, because now I have a bunch of bitchy looking kids, getting way too close to my personal space, walking around me to get through the front door.
My watch says Amy has five fucking minutes to be here. She better fucking be here or so help me-
"Short stack! There you are! Why are you outside! You've gotta sign the roster by 5! Hurry up!"
If looks could kill. Amy would be dead. No fucking pulse. Hanging from the rafters. Dead. Fuck my life. She was supposed to text me when she was on her way.
The inside isn't as bad. No graffiti, at least. I wonder where the hell we're supposed to go.
"Volunteers. Please come to the break room. Kids, shoot some hoops or something until we get back." This chick looks like she's going to be fun. That was sarcasm by the way. She's tall. Blonde. Crazy green eyes. Super hot but looks like she flaunts it. Gross. It's one thing to be confident. It's a whole different beast to think you're better than somebody, just based on looks, and she seems like the type to think exactly that. I just get that vibe.
The walk to the break room is pretty awkward. None of know each other. Well except Amy. I know her. Obviously. But apparently she decided flaunting her stuff to some douchey sounding guy, what kind of name is Bumper, is a better idea than keeping her best friend sane throughout this process.
The woman waiting in the break room is fucking stunning! Now I don't just think any woman with a pretty face is stunning. No. This girl is her own species. She has to be an alien. Red curly waves of hair. Eyes so blue you'd swear the sky was colored to look like her eyes. Her body is ridiculous! And that smile. Oh my God my heart is failing. Is that what's happening? Am I dying. Why the fuck does it feel like my heart stopped. Oh shit. Hopefully Amy can see me dying because I can't seem to get words to come out of my fucking mouth!
"Hey you, alt girl. Are you going to come through the door, or just stand there like you've seen a ghost? Close the door."
Well I've snapped out of it now. I wonder how many times I will have to roll my eyes today? Ohhhh. Looks like eye rolling doesn't sit well with the blonde fuhrer. The look she's giving me right now is priceless! This may be fun after all!
"Anyways! Now that everyone is present." Why is the blonde glaring at me? Oh, right. "Let's get started with introductions. We just opened up for the season. The people you see here now, will be the 'counselors' for the rest if the season. We only open when school is out. We know that parents still have to work for the summer. We also know that a lot of people can't afford childcare, or for the older ones, that they don't trust their child to stay out of trouble. That is why volunteers like you all are so important. Summer Daze is a non profit organization, so we need all the help we can get. This will be the only day that we meet this late. The rest of the summer, we will open at 8am and close at 5pm. We will go over schedules today. We know that you all have lives, and that not everyone can be available all the time. Please let Chloe or myself know what hours and days that you can be here."
"uhhhhh. Who's Chloe?" Thank you Amy!
"Oh right. Introductions. My name is Aubrey Posen and I am the head director for Summer Daze. How about we go around the room and introduce ourselves?"
I hear people introducing themselves. Kind of. I tend to space out. There is a quiet Asian lady named Lilly, I think. Not really sure. She is really quiet. A leggy brunette named Stacie. Girls named Ashley and Jessica. Not sure which is which. I spaced. A black beauty named Cynthia Rose. I think I'm gonna like her. Some adorable looking nerd named Benji. A way too excited guy named Jessi. Bumper, ugh. I think some guy said his name was Uni? Who knows. A guy named Donald. And the redhead's name is apparently Chloe. Assistant director. Charming. Now all I'm waiting for is-
"Hello all. My name is Fat Amy. This is Beca. I decided to introduce her too because my little friend here has a bit of social anxiety and a temper."
"I do not have social anxiety!" Why does she do this to me?
"See what I mean? Temper."
"Wait. So you call yourself 'Fat Amy'?" of course the blonde would ask. Of course.
"Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back." That line never gets old. The looks on everyone's faces is worth her description of me. I can only laugh. If this Aubrey chick loses the stick up her ass, this whole community service thing might not be so bad.