Nothingness... Feeling like your worthless. Whats the point of living if you don't feel self important. Time is of the essence but life is sill dull and useless. I don't know how to survive anymore. Why am I here... I don't know anymore.

' Now inhale, there you go skylar. now breath out through your nose.' Feeling the rush going all over my body i faded into the darkness.

"But... I thought you loved me! How could you just fucking leave me and your suppose to love me!" I yelled at my boyfriend as i looked through tear blurry eyes as he grabbed another shirt and tossed it into his bag.

"Sky I love you. I just can't be with you. Im sorry. I'll always love you." he said looking at me cupping my face while whipping my tears with his thumb. Letting go of me he grabbed his bags from beside the king sized red and black bed in the bed room we use to share. Feeling more tears pour into my eyes I yelled.

"YOU DONT LOVE ME! YOUR LEAVING ME! HOW COULD YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME AND THEN LEAVE! I DONT UNDERSTAND!" I cut myself off in the in the middle of my sentence when i heard my voice crack. Falling to the ground I grabbed my chest. it burned... Felt like I was on fire from the inside.

Hearning no response I looked up to find nobody in the room with me. Rushing to my feet I ran to the front door. Seeing him un locking it and about to leave I felt fresh tears pour down my face. Standing by the door way I watched him leave. Looking back one last time he whispered to me and walked out of my life forever.

Hearing little pitter patter of two sets of feet I seen two beautiful twin boys running to my rescue.

Beautiful boys indeed. Hair as red as fire stopped at their ears and framed their heart shaped faces which they got from my side of the family. Matching button noses where squished up wet from tears that were pouring from light brown eyes and their tan skin. Skin they got from their fathers Native blood. Running up to me they sat on the floor next to me and looked up at me.

"Mommy? why you cwying? We did something bad?" Mathew , oldest by being born 4 minutes earlier asked, asked as he pointed to him and his brother.

Grabbing them and pulling them to my chest I placed my head on theirs and inhaled their baby smell. Rocking and trying to settle them I kissed each of them.

"No.. No baby you didn't do anything. Your brother either. Daddy just had to go away for work that's all." I said picking them up and taking them to their room.

Walking into the room I was hit with a flash back from when we first moved in.

FLASH BACK

"woahhh! Mommy this woom is bigged! I want this one! Andrew can sleep with you and daddy!" Mathew yelling standing in the master bed room of the two story house we just bought. Seeing Andrew ball up his face me and their father tried to hide out laughter. Crossing his arms Andrew ran to me and looked up.

"Mommy no fair no fair ! Why he get the biggested room? I was borned first!" He yelled while point at his brother who was running around the room making air plane noises. Laughing I leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"How about you both share the room? Since you both think you were born first and I love you both so much you can share right? Just like you share mommy's love." I said using my mommy voice. Seeing Andrew having a thinking look he acquired from his father I waited for him to answer me.

Looking back up I seen Mathew and his father playing air plane. Seeing Andrew looking over at them bouncing from one foot to the other I smiled .

"If you be a big boy and share you can go play with your brother" I said while tucking a piece of red hair behind his ear and cupping his face "and mommy will make cup cakes!" His eyes grew and he nodded his head. Running off to play with his brother I felt arms wrap around my middle. Leaning back into the embrace I relaxed in the heated body.

"We did it Sky. This house is all ours." He whispered in that silk voice I loved so much. Closing my eyes I nodded my head. Turning around I wrapped my arms around his tall frame and ran my hand through Think cooper black hair and looked into dark brown eyes. Seeing that bright white smile I fell in love with made me smile.

Nodding my head I jumped up and onto him. " We did It Paul! We got the house!" I screamed as he spun me around. Leaning down to kiss him I ran my lips over his bottom one.

"Me and you Paul. From here on out its me and you." I heard myself say as he carried me down the hall and into the living room.

After placing my boys in the room I ran back to the front door and slammed it open. Looking out the door I seen Sam helping Paul put his bags in the Pick up.

"Paul please!" I whispered slowly walking down the brown wooden steps of our brick house porch. Seeing him turn around I almost smiled until I see the cold look his face held.

"I dont love you anymore Skylar! I'll be back to get the kids but I want nothing else to do with you!" He yelled in a booming voice that even made Sam jump. Feeling my heart break into ash I stood frozen in the same spot. Feeling warm hands pulling me back in the direction of the house I let the black close in and swallow me.

Falling back into the arms of the stranger I heard the yelling of my children.

"it...it hurts." i said before i passed out.

I could have sworn I heard the person whisper back "i know"