That Old Thin Line
Authors Note: This is basically my ridiculous headcanon about how Keita's in love with Mim and really upset and in denial about it. Let me know what you think of this piece of crazy, lol.
Keita really hates Shinji Mimura.
He hates him with a burning passion that creates an intense rage inside him that he never knew he was capable of feeling. Shinji makes his stomach sick. Makes bile rise up in his throat. Makes Keita wish there was anything he could do to get rid of him.
It wasn't always like that. He didn't always hate him. He wasn't always aware of just how sick and twisted the Third Man was. Of course Shinji has always been that way. Cruel and plotting. Just waiting to strike. But always leaving time to play with his victim first. What fun would it be for Shinji if there was no torture involved?
Shinji Mimura is a sick fuck. A sick fuck who wants to toy with him before he destroys him.
It's easy to be fooled.
Look at Mimura in all his glory. Watch as the guys' crowd around him and the girls' line up to eat out of his hand. Watch how he smiles like a shark. He's golden. His hair bleach blond and too bright, his skin tanned by the sun. He shines. He's blinding. He's almost too much to look at.
All just to lure Keita in.
How easy was it for Shinji to walk into his life? They were in the same class, shared a friend. No one says no to Shinji. He's a star. You don't say no to a star.
So all of a sudden he's in Shinji's presence, and he has to watch him. Has to watch him shine too bright, has to watch him succeed. Once he's seen Shinji he can't look away.
But Shinji knows that.
He's arrogant. Shinji knows he shines. He knows he's blinding to those around him. He makes sure they know he knows. He makes sure Keita knows.
Watches Keita with such knowing eyes. The way he struts in the locker room, only to look back and see Keita. No one else sees it, but Keita does. Keita sees the look in his eyes. Keita knows what he's thinking. Knows that Shinji's taunting him. The eyes that say, 'Oh, poor Keita. How badly do you want me, you fag? What will it take for you to get a boner right here? Maybe if you beg in front of the entire class I'll let you touch me. You'd like that wouldn't you? You'd love to beg for it, wouldn't you, fag?'
But Shinji doesn't get to win. Keita won't let him. He won't be impressed with the way Shinji wins the basketball game, he won't be amazed when he hears the things Shinji can do online, and he won't be tempted when Shinji lets his shirt ride up just to coax him into looking.
Shinji is evil, and Keita knows.
The Third Man deserves some payback. When Keita hung back while a couple of guys tried to knock Shinji around for the yen in his pocket, it wasn't cowardice. It wasn't spite. It was payback.
Shinji didn't deserve to glow. He shouldn't have the power to get whatever he wanted. He shouldn't try to control Keita.
Keita let the fight happen. Mimura won. He was still shining.
But he was angry. Keita knew why he was angry. It wasn't everyday that someone stood up to him. He hadn't expected Keita to take a stand. It was a shot to his inflated ego.
Keita wasn't sad when Shinji walked away. He wasn't. He was glad. The torment was over. Shinji would finally stop. And with that all the dreams Keita had been having would stop. No more dreams where a golden Mimura would take hold of him and make him do things. It was done.
But the Third Man doesn't know how to lose. He doesn't let it end there.
He has to drag Yutaka Seto into it.
Shinji makes him look at them. Laughs too loud to not be forced. Yutaka's not that funny. Yutaka's not much of anything.
Shinji makes sure Keita sees them. Makes sure Keita sees the way Yutaka sits on his desk, his eyes wide in wonder as Shinji talks. Shinji makes sure Keita hears him loud and clear without sparing a word or a look. He knows what Shinji is thinking when he smiles like a shark, the same look he always has with prey. 'Are you jealous Keita? Mad that you're so easily replaced? Mad that I got a new puppy to play with? You wish it was you here, don't you? Wish I'd let you sit on my desk, wish I'd let you lie at my feet, don't you? Wish you had just behaved and been a good boy? Yutaka's a good boy. Look at him doing exactly what I want. Look at him being better than you.'
But Yutaka's just stupid. He doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know Shinji's game the way Keita does. He's just a pawn. Just easy to manipulate. Shinji is using him, and he's too stupid to know it. Shinji doesn't actually want him.
He doesn't. How could he? How could he want someone who doesn't even see what's going on?
No. Shinji's baiting Keita. It's all about Keita. All about Keita and Shinji. No one else.
But Keita sees what's going on, and Shinji won't get to him.
Shinji's glow won't mesmerize him anymore. Keita won't look at him.
Shinji's evil. He knows Shinji is toying with him. It's not all in his head. It's not!
Shinji is arrogant and mad that Keita stood up to him, and now he wants him to suffer. Shinji is the one with the problem. Shinji is the one that is hung up. Shinji is the one who can't let things go.
The only thing Keita is guilty of is hating him. Hating him for everything that he is and everything that he does. Keita hates him, hates him with every fiber of his being. Thinks about it when he wakes up in the morning, and when he sees Shinji in class, and when he goes to sleep at night. He is consumed with how much he hates Shinji.
And when he accidently catches himself glaring at the Third Man, that doesn't change. It doesn't matter if he can practically hear Shinji laughing at him while saying, 'How can you say you hate me when we both know you're just a lovesick puppy? When we both know how in love with me you are? When we both know you'd do anything if I'd just love you?'
It doesn't matter because it's not true. He's not in love with Shinji Mimura. He hates him.
He really fucking hates him.