Introduction
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Rating: R
Warning: This story contains suggestive themes not suitable for everyone. Read at your own caution and do not read if you are not of the appropriate maturity.
Disclaimer: All characters used within this story are property of J.K. Rowling. She happens to hold the rights to the Harry Potter universe and this story in no ways lays claim for dispute of those rights. The plot of the story is, however, not owned by J.K. Rowling. That herein belongs to me, therefore all events in the story are fictitious.
Introduction: Lily Evans is caught by a Death Eater in her seventh year at Hogwarts. James Potter goes out to rescue her. Both arrive back at school seemingly as if she had never been in custody at the hands of a certain Lucius Malfoy. Lily Evans, currently the girlfriend of Remus Lupin, seems almost frightened or disgusted of physical contact. Now, Remus Lupin is determined to solve the mystery before he goes insane. Sirius Black meanwhile is stuck with indecision, unknowing of which side to choose, and thus ignores the situation altogether. So, the question is, what in the hell happened to the Head Girl?
Characters: James Potter, Lily Evans, Lucius Malfoy, and Remus Lupin.
Note: Nothing graphic and the actual rape is not described at all.
~ Necrotic Eclipse
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Rapere de Profanation
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1. Rapere - Verb - Latin root of "rape", to seize. 2. Rape - Noun - The crime of forcing a person to submit to sexual intercourse. The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction. Profanation. 3. Profane - Adjective - Showing contempt or irreverence for what is sacred; blasphemous. Non religious; secular. Vulgar; coarse. 4. Profanation - Noun - The act of being profane.
~ From the American Heritage Dictionary [Paperback, ©1983]
Rapere de Profanation - "The seizing of all that is foul; the seizing of sacrilege."
The above phrase and defining sentences do not necessarily comply with the rules of Latin (i.e. Abide by grammatical virtues). It combines partly Latin and partly modern day English. One can suppose it would be like trying to combine apples and oranges.
*~*~*~*~*
A loud scream pierced the air, audible through all conversation and a hush settled amongst the crowd. Then an explosion followed and people were running everywhere outside. The folks in Three Broomsticks lurched into panic and went scrambling, trying to be first through the door. A massive crowd was stuck in its chaos at the entrance. Remus Lupin, a seventh-year Gryffindor with sandy brown hair and dark gray eyes, stood up and grabbed his girlfriend's hand. Lily Evans, the girl in question with lustrous red hair, scrambled to keep pace as they shoved past away from the building. The two kept walking quickly, careful not to fall down and be trampled upon. Remus went in the direction of the Shrieking Shack.
The shack contained a secret passage he knew for a fact of its existence Lily was completely ignorant. Then she stumbled over someone, breaking the connection, she couldn't tell where Remus had went due to the thickness of the crowd. Lily brushed through the crowd trying to spot Remus. She wondered where he had been trying to lead her but deduced it to be a secret entrance of some sort. No doubt leading directly to the castle—it hadn't taken long in their relationship for her to be awed at the knowledge of the school grounds Remus had. Apparently he had discovered it along with James Potter and Sirius Black, two of the greatest trouble makers ever to reside in the history of Hogwarts.
She quickly glanced and assessed the situation. There were some wizards with black cloaks and masks causing havoc on the village. Lily thought about helping the few who were fighting, but decided to leave it to the few aurors already here. She didn't want to be an obstacle for them and reinforcements would incontrovertibly arrive momentarily. A building was on fire and the Death Eaters were dueling with others at an incredible tempo. It seemed as if spell after spell was done without a deliberation; in all likelihood, it probably was. Were she to enter the melee she'd be barely capable of casting more than a few spells.
Lily wasn't a coward and her heart was urging her to fight back, but her mind won the argument. And she was off, wand in hand in the event of fighting off a Death Eater, and went running toward the castle. Fellow students such as Frank Longbottom could be spotted in the involuntary gathering which was now thinning out. James Potter, Head Boy badge intact on his chest, was shouting directions at the end of the line. He was looking around and had settled his gaze upon her when someone gripped her wrist tightly. She shrieked and turned around, about to smack the intruder, when she realized it was Remus.
"Thank God it's you, Remus. You scared the bloody hell out of me. I thought it was a Death Eater," she said with a breath of relief. She put away her wand.
Remus looked around as if seeking any sign of danger and muttered, "Come on. I know a path, it'll avoid the onslaught of students."
He led her by hand in the opposite direction and she questioned him silently but followed none-the-less. They walked around broken glass into an alleyway. It was dark and she almost shivered with fear. She fought down the urge to run away.
"Shouldn't we help the others? Are you even sure this is the right way?"
Remus smiled a distinct grin that was terrifying. It was so unlike Remus. It had to be someone else—oh God, no one would know. The few who did see her leave would have noticed him and they wouldn't suspect a thing. "Don't worry love, everything will work out just fine," he hissed malevolently. His grip tightened and he pulled out his wand. "Should have kept that wand out, silly mudblood. Now then, give me your wand and or I'll kill you."
"You bastard," she hissed as she handed over her wand. They were facing each other and to her left a brick wall blocked any exit. All three sides were brick walls. To her right was the way back from the alley, but he'd catch up with her in no time and then... She didn't dare to imagine what he would do then. She defiantly crossed both arms across her chest, preparing to kick or scratch or whatever necessary.
A snort answered her vehement response. "What will you do? Kick me in the crotch? Try that and I'll break your arms. I've got all the power right here with me, you have nothing. Whatever the Dark Lord wishes he gets. You should join him, he wants you to. He wants a filthy little mudblood like you. That's why your here with me. He's heard of your prowess when it comes to magic, your almost as good as Potter. He would be an excellent ally, along side that blood traitor friend of his. Though neither he nor the blood traitor would work for the Dark Lord, so why waste time?"
"I would never work for such despicable excuses for human beings such as yourself!"
He unclasped his robe and threw it off to the ground. It landed with a soft thump to which he paid no attention. Lily observed for the first time how much effort must have went into the scheme; the robe was an exact replica of the school uniform. He leered down at her, "Oh, but you will. You will after today."
"Never!" She tried to slap him, but he easily caught her wrist and snapped it down. She bit her lip in pain.
Eyes narrowing he muttered softly, "Don't try any further tricks with me or you'll pay." He laughed, it was a voice full of menace that frightened her. "You'll pay quite dearly, my dear bitch. I'll have you just like Lupin does every night. Then again, it depends. Be a good little mudblood and you might just return without a scratch."
Face paling she replied, "I'm not going to sleep with you! Never!"
"Oh, but you don't have a choice, do you? Now strip, Evans." Coincidentally right before her eyes the body of Remus J. Lupin slowly morphed into Lucius Malfoy. Biting back a gasp of surprise mixed with revulsion, she tried to disregard the fact that he was now divesting of his trousers and underwear.
Lily took off her robe, choking down a sob. Then she unbuttoned her white blouse and it too fell to the ground. With trembling hands she slid her skirt off, leaving her with a matching black bra and panties. Malfoy didn't bother hiding his appetite (On his face or down... there). She almost cried from the humiliation of it all. Blinking rapidly, she shakily reached behind her back and slid off the bra. Still, she managed to somehow lower and step out of her panties into a defiant stance. Never before had she seen a male and she was not impressed at all. This sex organ was what so many thought made them gods.
The erection at his crotch had fully hardened to full length and she barely resisted the urge to curl up into a fetal position. Never before in her life had she felt so humbled. Degraded. Disgusted. Every part of her body yelled out in anger at her helplessness. She resolved to make him pay. Some day Malfoy would pay dearly. Pointing his wand at her he demanded she turn around and place both hands on the wall. After having done so he warned her not to utter a sound, the pointed shape of a wand bulged into the back of her head. Her skin jumped with revulsion as his arousal touched her thigh, burning her to the core.
Breath descended into her ear. "Now we do the dance, my pretty little bitch."
"I was wondering why Remus was going this way!" She knew that voice, it had to be— "Gosh, what a surprise! Now then, I wouldn't dare attempt another thing if I were you, Malfoy."
"James Potter," Malfoy growled. His expression cleared and he asked cruelly, "Like what you see? We can take turns, none will be the wiser. What do you say?" She bit down a cry as she saw the evidence of James's desire. Her mind raced frantically.
James gazed at him with aversion. "No." A simple word; a simple statement.
Lily still had hands braced on the brick wall with Malfoy behind her, still with one hand digging into her stomach. Hope rekindled through her body and she dared to believe, but then Malfoy pulled her back into his chest. Wand pressed against her temple, she stared with incredulity, heedless of the thing pressing against her lower back. The Head Boy had his wand aimed directly at what would have been Malfoy, had he not positioned her as his shield. James still looked undaunted, however, and the glint in his eyes relieved her. Fierce anger and determination radiated off his shoulders.
Regardless of what her mind spoke, her heart knew for a fact that she was saved. James Potter. Once upon a time she would have laughed on the idea of him caring for someone else, but she knew better thanks to last year. The incident which had caused a rift in the friendships of James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius had sparked many rumors. None of them were true; in truth Lily herself knew nothing of it save a guess. It had involved Snape definitely, anyone could tell based on the renewed, more ferocious glances between him and the foursome. She had found out that day her opinions were indeed wrong about James.
"Put that away or I'll kill her, Potter." Even with her facing away, she could sense the viciously triumphant smile on his lips.
James raised an eyebrow delicately. "Should you kill her, I'm afraid you would die. It would be rather grievous to the school, but I suppose I'll take my chances."
Malfoy looked cornered. "There's nothing you can do, Potter. I know there isn't someone with you. You didn't have time for reinforcements, did you? This alley is very difficult to find."
"I've been here before, but it was actually harder figuring out where you were headed. Then I remembered this location and voila. Just in time to stop you."
"I could just disapparate with her," Malfoy drawled.
James laughed haughtily. "Don't treat me like a child. You can't fool me, I know perfectly well that without your clothes you can't go anywhere. They would find Evans, should you hastily grab your clothing—a big if—and disapparate," Lily frowned, James had yet to call her Lily despite her calling him James, "at your place. Voldemort," she felt Malfoy flinch and growl deeply, "did not ask you to rape her. He wanted you to simply issue an ultimatum, didn't he?"
"Very smart, Potter."
James to the consternation of Malfoy had the audacity to smirk. "Yes, well, Voldemort wouldn't like this complication at all. You could have escaped by now, but now we know your identity—not that it's a big surprise. Of course, you could kill and dispose of her, but the Ministry would still question you. Veritaserum I heard is flowing rather freely these days, my mum and dad were discussing the potion this summer. I happened to overhear some of the conversation. Once they find you had committed rape and murder, they would throw you into Azkaban. Have some memories you would like to replay over from Voldemort? 'Crucio' remind you of something?"
Malfoy lashed out at the taunt, "Don't you dare call him by his name! How dare you besmirch the name of the Dark Lord!?"
"Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort," he taunted boldly. "Can't even stop me from saying the name, can you Malfoy? Azkaban is a lovely place and you deserve to die there, but I'm saddened to note that Evans would have to die. My friend is rather enamored with her and would be devastated. Also, no one other than fellow buddies of your deserve to die at the filthy hands of you. Even that is a bit of a stretch, it'd be great if you and your pals finished each other off at the same time. Then we wouldn't have a power struggle, would we? What are you going to do, Malfoy?"
He stepped closer to them. "Veritaserum, my friend, Veritaserum. You'll squeal all your little secrets should you try anything." He then proceeded to magically carve "L. Malfoy ~ J.P., L.E." in big, block letters into the brick wall. "Kill us—if you can—and your name will stay there. After a certain amount of time, they'll presume we're dead. They walk into here and you'll be questioned with that lovely potion. Try and take that off, can you?" James laughed a condescending laugh as Malfoy tried in vain to blast off the carving. "You can go along with my plan or you can go behind prison bars. How does that sound to you Malfoy? Delightful? I hope you will agree."
Malfoy sneered, but Lily could almost taste the sudden trepidation consuming him, "What is it, Potter?" Malfoy obviously didn't think himself adept enough to clear the wall of the magic. Whatever it was had to be powerful magic.
"Since you can't kill both of us without one of us screaming and thus alerting someone a block away... Well, then they'd find the carving and you'd be dead even if you somehow disposed of our bodies or disapparated with or without our corpses rather. All taking into granted the idea you could kill us both." James looked at Lily with a certain look in his eyes that made her wonder. "I'll do it. You get what you wanted—humiliation from two Gryffindors—and Lily won't be harmed. Well, not really. And I... Well... What does that matter? I'll take the place for you. The message has been delivered by the faithful Death Eater and you avoid the complication."
He sneered and asked in a low voice, "What the hell is it in for me?"
She shook with dread. "The writing comes off. It involves some interesting magic. It's Dark magic." She felt Malfoy's surprise as he stilled; she too was taken aback. James laughed. "Of course I know Dark magic, I simply choose not to utilize it often. It's not really that hard to solve, but it's an obscure spell. That's what the quirky thing is. Should you have a book of spells nearby, you could easily wipe it from the existence of Earth. But you don't and it's such an eccentric spell that you don't know it. By the time someone arrives after a shout, you still wouldn't be able to get it off. Given a book and say an hour, well, we'd be in trouble."
"It's a simple spell?" he asked in disbelief.
"Intermediate to be precise. But that isn't why I chose it. Sure, I could have utilized God knows how many different incantations... It would do us no good, however. If you go along with the plan, you save your hide just barely. Do remember, by the way, I can kill you. The only question is whether you can kill me first. Should you even accomplish that, which I severely think otherwise given my experience first hand in dueling, Evans would scream. Then they stumble in, etceteras, etceteras. You know the possibilities. Let me tell you a secret: I never lost track of you. I was merely composing a plan and dare I say, this is quite ingenuous. Every possibility is covered save death. That's okay, we all die sometime anyway."
He asked a very good question, "What if you stab me in the back?"
James snorted. "Something I should ask you. Besides, admitting to partaking in such a thing? No one would ever suggest a thing in my place. No one would believe you if you said this all happened. They'd think I was setting you up. Us Potters don't like you Malfoys very much."
"Okay Potter," he responded reluctantly and Lily was surprised at his acquiescence. Although he didn't have many options. "Hand over the wand. I know for a fact that you want the mudblood alive. Otherwise you would have done something by now. Any false step and she dies. I'll give you back your wand and hers afterwards. Take off the sign and then its fair game to either one of us. I'll disapparate, but if you dare try anything, you two die. Got it?"
"Yes."
Anticipation was etched into the sneering face. "Now take start disrobing and get to it, Potter."
James walked over to where they were standing, wary of deceit, but resigned none-the-less. "Maybe this would be a good idea to turn around."
"This still constitutes rape, you realize that, don't you?"
He looked back with fathom less eyes. "Yes, Evans. I'm not an idiot," he said that with a cold tone and she regretted opening her mouth.
*~*~*~*~*
Malfoy was gone and so was the carving. Now only the two remained at the alleyway. Both had no clothes and were pale. Lily looked as if she was going to be sick any moment and James was tense. His shoulders were set, his fingers were curled into fists, and his jaw was clenched, but nothing save his expression would clue someone in on the fact that all was not all right.
Lily buried her face into James's chest, ignoring his sudden tension, and slammed her fists in frustration against the muscles. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she released all shame stored within. "How could you do that? How could you bear to..." she abruptly shut up, leaving the sentence trailing. Eyes widening in realization, she tried to reach for him, but he flinched. Face of that of one struck, she frantically apologized. "Oh James, I didn't mean that."
He shrugged off her arms when she attempted a conciliatory hug. "Don't touch me," James uttered in disgust. Realization dawned in her eyes of her prior ignorance of his feelings, of assuming it had been relatively nothing. Though he hadn't enunciated a word, it was hardly as if he had done that before with... The guilt rose as she realized how harshly James was treating himself and how stupidly she was acting, saying things she had no right to mention. Where was her gratefulness? Had she not thought of for the millionth time how he had actually helped her? Was this how she repaid hid?
Then she asked a question that had stuck in her mind, "Why do that? What about the Veritaserum?"
"Ministry wouldn't use it on him. They never use it on anyone. Only if a Death Eater is unmasked, otherwise the legalities are difficult and they don't want to bother with that. We were fortunate he forgot about the part about no one being around in hearing range for a few blocks thanks to the attack."
Her eyes widened. "Oh." There were really fortunate to come out of the situation relatively unharmed.
"Whatever. What had to be done was done," James was saying. "It's in your best interest to not say anything, Evans. Not a word. If you do, they won't be with you, remember that; they'll side against your ideals and your judgment. They'd treat someone who had that done to them with pity, with barely concealed appalled eyes. And you know what that means." He finished knotting his tie and started stepping away, heedless of whether she was following. "Let's leave. Remember, not a single word."
Wiping her tears for the last time in the alleyway, she followed with a sad heart. She wondered not for the first time that day why she had been placed into Gryffindor.
*~*~*~*~*
Only James's knowledge of the school passages had enabled them to see the headmaster undetected by others. Dumbledore searched the faces of the two students standing in front of his desk. Blue eyes met green and hazel, they lacked the infamous twinkle. "Please, sit down."
"No. You can't interrogate me. Not now. Please. I want a... bath... shower... Maybe both."
Blue eyes searching once more. Seeking. Burning a hole through the soul. "Yes, yes. It's been a long day. So it has. There is no need to discuss the incident. Please, get some rest."
The two students turned to left.
"James, Lily, remember. I'm always here should you wish to talk about it."
"Thank you professor."
Polite. Concise. Gone. Dumbledore's somber eyes had never once left the backs of the retreating students.
*~*~*~*~*
They hid from the other students in their tower, sharing the other's company. At night Lily went to bed; James didn't bother, he knew it would be a long night. At 2:13 in the morning she came back down. James was waiting in silence and the fire was dying. She took the couch nearby.
"I couldn't sleep, either."
They talked.
*~*~*~*~*
Remus Lupin was pleasantly surprised the next morning when he spotted Lily next to James. The duo were eating breakfast listlessly and he frowned as he saw Lily's full plate. She was not eating much.
"Hey James, where've you been?" Sirius asked excitedly, practically running over. He and Peter followed Sirius.
James replied vaguely, "Here and there. There was trampling and such."
"Lily, are you okay?" Remus whispered gently. She looked up and visibly flinched; he felt his heart rip open. It was as if she was seeing him as a monster.
A fake, brittle smile. "Of course, Remus." A quick kiss on his cheek and another unconvincing smile. What are you hiding? Am I a monster?
"So what happened?" Peter squeaked out.
Her beautiful eyes closed. When they opened her lashes sparkled in the sun. He couldn't believe how devastatingly beautiful she was. "Leave her alone." It was a command by James, who was shooting a glance at Lily. As if protecting her. From her boyfriend. Remus thought about arguing, but decided not to make a fuss in front of the others. She would tell him when she was prepared to do so. He had faith in her.
*~*~*~*~*
Avoiding him. Lily Evans, one of the most compassionate persons on the face of the planet, was obstinately evading his every presence. It had been a week after the attack, she had to be in trauma. He had thought about taking her to the nurse, but he was inclined to envision the argument that would spring. Also, a small part of his brain—the rational one, as little had been rational this past week—insisted that only time could heal this wound, whatever it may be. Time was running out and he was frustrated. Still, she had yet to come to him willingly. Every second spent with her, rare as they be, were stiff and uncomfortable. As if she could not bear to be around him.
He had asked her once, but she had faked a smile and didn't reply. Tried to assure him that all was well. It wasn't. That foreboding feeling in the base of his stomach reared again and again persistently. He had grown as desperate enough to ask James, only to be admitted to a cold shoulder. In fact, recalling that look in those normally deer like eyes, it was as if... Remus didn't know how he could describe it, even to himself, even mentally. All he knew was that never before had he been as afraid of James as back then. The icy coldness such a contrast from that boyish warmth which had died that day in Hogsmeade.
Died along with Lily's propensity to touch him. To kiss him. To fondle him. She was still a virgin—unless she had sex prior to their relationship, which he highly doubted—yet it was not even qualms about that. She simply did not want to see him. He could tell she was trying to battle it, but whatever had occurred at Hogsmeade was tormenting her. She wasn't eating enough to sustain herself, nor was she sleeping much. Black and blue shadows constantly resided below her eyes. Wednesday they had gotten together, she had made an enormous effort not to flee like a lamb in face of the wolf. It had cut straight to his heart with an emotion he could not determine.
Kissing those unresponsive lips, the tenderness had dissolved into lust and frustration. Frustration at how she could affect him so much, but how he was powerless to do a thing in return. She had tried, opening her mouth. His tongue had danced with hers, but then he had felt her shudder and had mistaken it for excitement. The stillness that had enveloped her body, that he never realized as he placed his right hand beneath the shirt. Sliding his hands up to cup her breast as his left made tantalizing circles on her lower back, tracing the smooth, soft skin. Then she had tried to break away and he had gotten angry.
Angry. Tired. So he pulled away and raked his hair with one hand. She apologized, with sincere contriteness that shamed him for his base desires, for not waiting. He knew he had mistaken that shudder. He knew she knew that as well, but it only served to make their meetings more tense. It was not sexual tension. It was an atmosphere that made his stomach flip, made his throat catch on a breath, made that foreboding inevitable. Their relationship was deteriorating. It would end soon if he didn't try and save it. He could not imagine his life without her.
Well, he could, but it was one full of gloom. One he had been dreading since the beginning of their dating, one he was certain would end in heartache. Yet, that small part of his heart, that foolish organ dared to hope. Of a life that greatly differed from what could be. What he wanted. His dream. Lily bathed in moonlight, disrobing, walking that sultry walk of hers. He would be bound entirely by the magic of her beauty. Blind to all but her. And for a moment, just one moment, he could feel as if he truly belonged; that he really was a human.
*~*~*~*~*
Lily pressed her face against James's chest, her streaming tears dampening the fabric. She uttered a sound that was a cross between a sob and completely lacking humor, but involuntary, giggle. "I shouldn't be here. It's not fair to you nor Remus. God knows he has tried so hard, so much sacrifice. Every time I look into his face though and I can't help but think of that time and then..." Her eyes became suspiciously moist once more.
"It's all right," James sooted with a grim expression. He was still staring directly at the wall. As if the girlfriend of Remus Lupin, his best friend, was not sitting in his lap. Was not seeking consolation from him. Was not brushing against every fiber of his body.
That's when Remus Lupin realized from beneath the invisibility cloak. James was using Lily. Why else would she come to him so willingly? He knew he had the power, that was why he was so detached to the fact that this beauty—one he had lusted over many times before she and Remus started dating—was bound to him. What could bind a person, especially a female so closely together with a male? That's when an irrepresible image popped up. One of Lily helpless beneath James's body. One of James threatening Lily to keep quiet or else the school would think her a slag. James. His best friend. No, no, EX-best friend.
What did Lily have to apologize to James for? He got you into this situation, Lily. He raped you, he's at fault. Lily was a virgin before he had taken it away. The horrors of the Death Eaters and rape. Remus Lupin finally fit the pieces in the puzzle together. Lily was confused. Lily had been taken advantage of and felt shamed to touch him. She was confused from a potion or spell. These new feelings had contradicted with the rape and she didn't know how to feel. So she stopped touching Remus thanks to magic and her "feelings" must have grown. So she had gone to him instead and avoided Remus out of what first was disgrace, but now due to the attraction for someone else. Someone not her boyfriend.
Remus had never known until now how devious the Head Boy, now ex-best friend, could be.
*~*~*~*~*
He confronted James and Lily in the common room. It was evening and it was deserted save for the pair. The two had been talking for the last half hour and there was a comfortable silence. James was smiling, he noted that James hadn't smiled or laughed ever since that Hogsmeade weekend. Lily who was sitting next to James was absolutely bubbling with happiness. He felt a pang deep in his heart as he learnt at a mere glance how compatible the couple might be. But that was wrong, Lily was his and she had been tricked. She was confused, that was all.
"We have to talk."
The two looked startled from their conversation, not having heard him come in. As if lost in their own world, asteroids could devastate the entire planet and still they would be oblivious. Until now their eyes had been locked and the air surrounding them was thick with an unidentifiable emotion. Both turned sharply towards him and James raised an eyebrow in a silent question. He wasn't sure how to proceed, but now was not the time to back out before he lost his guts.
"James, you and Lily have been pretty close together lately," he was unable to withhold the jealousy and bitterness from his tone. Lily's face flushed and she averted her eyes, but James's face remained impassive. Impassive with eyes narrowing slightly. Speaking in a more milder manner he continued, "I tried to think about what had happened, but I seem to keep coming back to one thing." A pause. "You raped her."
Outrage spread over James's face. How dare he, Remus seethed silently. He raped her! Although new unease surfaced as Lily's face paled and eyes widened. Her mouth made an "o" shape. Then his logic returned along with a new onslaught of anger.
"Your telling me I raped her?" James asked with great incredulity.
Lily said, "Remus, your wrong. He didn't—"
"He raped you!" he shouted out loud.
"No, he didn't."
Confusion. It had to be that. "Look, Lily, your confused. A Confundus charm maybe. He did bad things to you and obviously you felt shamed, but your not to blame. He," he stressed the word with great palpable poison, "is at fault. Don't worry Lily, I'll protect you no—"
SMACK.
Remus fell to the ground, staring in disbelief with one eye shut closed. James's body sparkling with anger towered over him, eyes narrowed and glinting dangerously with a clenched jaw and hands with fingers curled into matching fists.
"Me rape her? I RAPED HER!? I'm the one who got fucking raped!"
*~*~*~*~*
Lily communicated silently with Remus (Now sporting a black eye) and a decision was made. Things would never again be the same for them, it was better off to break off things now than wait for time to heal their relationship. A relationship that no longer existed and never would. He left the room silently, never looking back. His head was bowed and his face was heavy, but there was remorse none-the-less in his body language. She turned back to James and remembered how he had made the deal with Malfoy. Raped, yet not uttering a single syllable, and moving briskly from the scene of the crime.
Remembering as she watched Malfoy penetrate him, horror had spread throughout her body. Unable to turn away from the crime, unable to watch. Tears streaming down her cheeks, her heart had burst with shame for herself and a deep admiration beyond all belief for him. His initiative where as another would have let her be taken advantage of. No one would do such a thing. That single act had introduced her to the depths of honor James contained. Yet, until moments ago, he had never mentioned it. Never acknowledged it. As if he had been in denial. She didn't think she'd handle the situation as well as he had. Ever.
James could. He could do what was necessary at a given second. That fact made her feel impotent. Incapable of what he could do and make it look so easy that you didn't give it as much appreciation as it deserved. That she had only stood, helpless and a mere weakness. He had come to her aid and what good had she done? Pathetic. Weak. Pathetic and weak. That is what she was. It made her heart fill with sorrow. And gratitude. And love. Love. Love for what he represented. For what she had failed to see. For all that she wished to be.
Unable to think coherently, that rage she had taken a dash upon him. Demanded irately how he could have stood the punishment and still pretend it had never occurred. Afterwards the words had immediately left a bitter taste along with repentance. Over the days she had conversed with him. Not only to overcome her own problems, but try to assist a hand towards him. Hoping for a way, an opportunity, to return his favor. It would never be enough, but she had attempted heedless. Over the several days she had fallen in love with him.
So she told him all of that and watched his face change into that of shyness. She felt awkward, but resolute on her goal. Again she spoke and told him. "I love you."
There was silence and then, when she was speedily losing hope, he whispered those four words. "I love you too."
Whomever leaned in first did not matter. What did matter was his lips on her. Then she was marveling at the softness of his hair, arms encircling his neck. Soon she was leaning back, him on top. He hesitated and then tentatively reached into her shirt, sliding his hands up to cup her breasts. Wonderment came over her as she tried to account for the events, but they never would clear up. One moment his hands were fondling her breasts and the next both had shed all clothes. There were multiple pauses and she knew he was trying to block out that day. Pondering whether it was all worth it.
She took over and helped him forget and soon he penetrated her barrier. The rush of blood did not matter. What did was that soon it was once more normal and he was thrusting into her. She moved with him and then with desperation both hastened the pace, their motions rough and hungry. Then it was over. Dazed still, she rested against his chest as he flipped them over. A sheen of sweat covered both, but in their torpor they did not care. For the first time since the incident, she was optimistic for the future. And she just knew—somehow—so was he. They would have a future together and she was looking forward for it. Glowing, she beamed a radiant smile at James who was fast asleep. Her eyelids drifted down and in the next second she too was asleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*