*In neon lights flashing in front of a big building*
QUI-GON JINN'S FASHION SHOW
*Qui-Gon speaking* Hey folks, welcome, welcome to my fashion show! *crowd roars with applause* Thank you, but please save some of that for our lovely models. Now later in the program we will be showing something that may scare you, so anyone with weak hearts or weak stomachs, when I tell you to leave, I suggest you go outside. *The crowd is now muttering and some macho looking bounty hunters and Jabba the Hutt laugh at the comments of being weak at all* Now, let's get started, shall we?
*Qui-Gon still speaking* Here comes our first beautiful model: OBI-WAN KENOBI! *Lights flash all over the runway and a spotlight moves with Obi-Wan* Now Obi-Wan here is wearing our lovely purple evening gown. Yes folks, it is made out of silk with 2-inch amethysts sewn around the neck area. It comes with three accessories: a gold necklace with, of course, an amethyst carved to like the shape of Yoda's head; a lovely purple velvet hand bag; and a purple lightsaber-shaped sunscreen bottle, because all you beautiful people need protection from that nasty sun.
Thank you, Obi-Wan!
Now, before I was warning all you people who have weak hearts and stomach to go outside, now is the time to go. Oh, and you will probably want to take your children too. But please do not forget to come back! *Some people leave including children but the macho looking bounty hunters all laugh and stay inside* Now introducing our next lovely (and I use that term very lightly) model: JAR-JAR BINKS! *Jar-Jar comes out onto the runway* Jar-Jar is wearing a beautiful (the suit, I am talking about the suit) looking yellow two- piece bathing suit. It has some bright and colorful sunflowers printed all over it! Isn't it lovely! *Some people in the crowd scream others including the supposedly macho bounty hunters faint* *Jar-Jar speaking* Jar-Jar is hottie! *Everyone else is either frozen in disgust or has fainted, except for a evil looking figure wearing a black robe who is clapping and whistling at Jar-Jar. Everyone who is still conscious moves far away from this figure* *The room is silent until Jar-Jar leaves. Suddenly the room bursts into applause and people come flowing back in.* *Qui-Gon speaking* Scary, is it not? It took me weeks before I stopped cringing at him! Well, anyway, let's move on!
Next I give you our last fashion beauty: Anakin Skywalker! *Anakin walks out on the runway looking like he was grudgingly forced to be in this show* Now there, Anakin, smile! He is wearing our special red jumper! It can be worn with pants, shorts or a skirt. As you can see, Anakin is wearing the skirt design. And course it has some red roses. Because we just love florals!
Now of course it comes with- *suddenly Qui-Gon is interrupted by a shout from Anakin* *Anakin speaking* Would you shut up, you floral-loving piece of bantha dung! I did not want to be in your stupid fashion show, but no, you did not listen! *Anakin pulls out a blaster* Now you will listen! I may be in a red skirt and jumper, but I know how to use this thing… I think… Oh, shoot where is the darn trigger! *While Anakin is fiddling with the blaster he accidentally presses the trigger and it shoots a HUGE hole in the roof*
*Anakin speaking* Er… Oops?…! *Qui-Gon* Everybody get out of the building! *Everybody manages to get out quickly except Jabba the Hutt. He is so fat he could barely make it to the door, but when he did make it to the door the roof fell. It fell on his head, tragically causing brain damage so that he forever thinks he needs to marry a bantha*
*Narrator speaking* Everybody was invited to the wedding, even Anakin. Jabba thought he was a fetching flower girl. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were bridesmaids, and Jar-Jar… well, when I said everyone, I was not counting him. He was sadly not invited after the fashion incident. The ceremony went well, they got through their "I do's" (actually a grunt from the bantha) and are ready for the last part! *Suddenly a Pope dressed in white smoking a cigar bursts through the church doors pushing Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Anakin out of his way and out the door.* The Pope got there just as the priest was saying: *Priest* I now pronounce you husband and wife. *Just as the priest was done saying that the Pope said: Don't marry that couple! But the Priest already had, and Jabba and the bantha blew up killing everybody except Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin and the Pope* The Pope swung his arms and said: We was too late!