This was written because one: I like crazy and/or depressed Tim, and two: I couldn't decide between writing him as Jason's partner (Hoodlum) or Catwoman's partner (Catlad/Stray). So I put it all together and this is what happened. Enjoy!
This takes place after Dick took Damian as his Robin. AKA, Dick fired Tim. (Okay, I see it both ways – Tim being ready to go solo in Dick's eyes or Tim being fired. I like saying Tim got fired, though, because then I can write stuff like this and pretend there's some canon feels in there.)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Batman comics. I don't even read the comics, so how would I own them?
He's not ready. He's not ready, not yet, and he's not sure if he ever will be.
He'd Robin, the sidekick. The partner. He'd not supposed to be thrown out, tossed aside, told he's not needed.
He's not ready to give it up, to be replaced, to rely on himself instead of Batman.
But Dick took it away, the last thing keeping him sane.
He left, for good. He wasn't needed anymore. There was nothing keeping him there anymore.
His father was dead. His friends were dead. He had never fit into the Bat family anyway. So he left.
/break\\\
He can't stay away from the mask. He tries, he really does, but wearing the mask gave him a purpose.
But he can't do it alone. He's not ready to be alone, despite the fact that he is, undeniably, alone.
The pull to the mask is what leads him to Jason.
It takes some convincing, but he can be the Hoodlum to Red Hood.
The mask is different, hides more than his identity; it hides the hurt, hides the darkness he begins to adopt, hides the effect the many kills have on him.
Dick finds out he's Hoodlum and confronts him, both in and out of costume.
Dick pleads, threatens, cries, apologizes, anything to get his attention.
But it's far too late; he's no longer Robin, no longer needs Robin. He has Hoodlum. He has Jason.
He never gets used to the killing. Eight months into his new, dark, different mask, he breaks down.
He screams at Jason, punches the man, after one last kill.
He runs away, gets cornered by a gang bearing guns. He laughs, spits at them, dares them to shoot.
They would have, if Jason hadn't shot them first, called him insane.
So he left, once again trying to live without the mask.
/crack\\\
He doesn't last long. He's found by Selina, given a place to stay, and it stumbles on from there.
He changes his fighting style, his personality, his mask once again.
He likes being Stray. He helps who he wants, hurts who he doesn't.
He steals for himself and for Selina. Nothing else to it.
This mask hides the hurt, the darkness, the breaking apart, but it doesn't hide him from Dick.
He gets away, time and time again, teases Dick and mocks Dick.
He feels himself losing sight of who he was, so he focuses on the mask.
But even the mask must come off when he's not at work.
This time, it's only four months before he cracks too much.
More screams, more crying, and he's on his own again.
/shatter\\\
He's barely been without his mask when the Joker goes to him.
He's wary, but not too wary. He just needs a mask to keep himself together.
The Joker lets him be Junior. He tries to stay sane, but he's too broken.
With this mask, he shows the cracks, the breaking, the darkness, the hurt.
It is this mask that shatters his mind permanently.
It is with this mask that Dick finally captures him and takes him to Arkham.
Dick wants to help, wants to understand, wants him to take off this mask.
But he is nothing without the mask.